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Where should we be? No man's land?

Where should we be? No man's land?

Old Aug 17th 2007, 5:15 am
  #31  
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Default Re: Where should we be? No man's land?

I was going to say the same thing re cumbria - nice area, but most rural areas can be a bit conservative on social issues - you could be the only gays in the village

Ian12 - without wishing to shepherd you into the gay ghetto, have you considered Brighton? Its a great area, within commuting to London (if you have to) and certainly a place a couple of gay parents could feel comfortable in. Beach, walking on the downs, pretty good weather for the UK, plenty of entertainment in the town. Tempted to move there myself!
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Old Aug 19th 2007, 9:22 am
  #32  
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Default Re: Where should we be? No man's land?

Originally Posted by Ian12
Never let it be said I am hasty. It will be three years in October that we arrived in Oz - that being me, my male partner of now 18 years and our two sunny and beautiful kids ages now 10 and 11 whom we adopted in the UK over four years ago. We were trail blazers.
Hello

Great attitude, sorry to hear about the attitudes you are experiencing to your "domestic situation".

I suspect things may be easier on this front in London, but possibly much harder overall on your whole family unit. It's a "tough city", your children may become very street wise very quickly. Personally, I would think very hard about sending children to a school with a resident policeman to assist with violence.

Any school that Ofsted rates as "poor" also probably translates to "minimal learning" in my very honest opinion, although I am not an Ofsted/league table fan. However exam results are important. They say a lot about the teaching and also the aspirations of the children (& their parents) who go there. Do school leavers tend to go on to university, or are results/aspirations/costs (!) generally prohibitive? Being blunt, I wouldn't consider most secondary schools in London for a nano second. The good ones have huge waiting lists and very tight entry criteria.

So on balance, I think I would be more inclined to give the CBD a try so your family have the lifestyle and hopefully educational advantages of Australia (vs London). Culturally it will be much less of a shock to the children. Would you be happy there? Everyone in the family unit deserves happiness.

My sister in law lives in San Fran with her hubbie. Most of their friends are gay, very well accepted in the area, but aware that for the easiest and happiest life, they need to remain in a large city. A sad fact I guess.

Good luck.
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Old Aug 20th 2007, 7:57 pm
  #33  
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Default Re: Where should we be? No man's land?

Originally Posted by northernbird
Yes its a beautiful part of the world, I am from north Lancashire, only a few miles from the Cumbria border. If they came and lived in the village I grew up in they would have pretty much the same problem they are having right now with not being accepted.

This can be true wherever you live, however I find that a lot more people especially "up north" are more accepting than they used to be. We lived in a little village prior to leaving for Oz and found that what annoyed the locals more than peoples living arrangements was people who moved into the area and then didn't join in and get to know people. At my daughters school (we now live in the town) a girl in her year lives with her mother, her mothers female partner (in fact I think that they are getting married this year) and her children, they are not discriminated against at all and are treated like everyone else, my daughter and the others in her year see the relationship as normal and don't see it any different to mine and my husbands relationship.

I think that the hard thing for anybody, whether straight or gay is settling into anywhere where you have no history as such, I found this in Oz and it takes a lot of effort to try and fit in and make new friends. It is such a big step in the first place to leave a country that you have lived in all your life then suddenly not only are you in a foreign country with different ways of doing things but you have to start all over again making friendships, not an easy task. When we returned we moved to the town that I grew up in and although the friends that I have now are all new (my old ones are still around)it was so much easier because I already knew the town and the country and I had history here. I hope this makes sense.

Susan
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Old Aug 21st 2007, 11:48 am
  #34  
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Default Re: Where should we be? No man's land?

Originally Posted by northernbird
Yes its a beautiful part of the world, I am from north Lancashire, only a few miles from the Cumbria border. If they came and lived in the village I grew up in they would have pretty much the same problem they are having right now with not being accepted.
We have considered Durham. I originally come from the NE. We have not ruled it out.

I managed to get hold of a great book on AMAZON that gives detailed info on schools for special needs. It is a door stop of a read so we are slowly getting through it. We have learend quite a bit. It makes the return look less daunting. Thanks to eveyone who has thrown in their twopence hapenny worth or would that be 3 cents?
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Old Aug 21st 2007, 11:49 am
  #35  
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Default Re: Where should we be? No man's land?

Originally Posted by Cape Blue
I was going to say the same thing re cumbria - nice area, but most rural areas can be a bit conservative on social issues - you could be the only gays in the village

Ian12 - without wishing to shepherd you into the gay ghetto, have you considered Brighton? Its a great area, within commuting to London (if you have to) and certainly a place a couple of gay parents could feel comfortable in. Beach, walking on the downs, pretty good weather for the UK, plenty of entertainment in the town. Tempted to move there myself!
Brighton is very high up on the list.
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Old Aug 21st 2007, 11:53 am
  #36  
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Default Re: Where should we be? No man's land?

Your posting makes a lot of sense.

Originally Posted by heading downunder 2002
This can be true wherever you live, however I find that a lot more people especially "up north" are more accepting than they used to be. We lived in a little village prior to leaving for Oz and found that what annoyed the locals more than peoples living arrangements was people who moved into the area and then didn't join in and get to know people. At my daughters school (we now live in the town) a girl in her year lives with her mother, her mothers female partner (in fact I think that they are getting married this year) and her children, they are not discriminated against at all and are treated like everyone else, my daughter and the others in her year see the relationship as normal and don't see it any different to mine and my husbands relationship.

I think that the hard thing for anybody, whether straight or gay is settling into anywhere where you have no history as such, I found this in Oz and it takes a lot of effort to try and fit in and make new friends. It is such a big step in the first place to leave a country that you have lived in all your life then suddenly not only are you in a foreign country with different ways of doing things but you have to start all over again making friendships, not an easy task. When we returned we moved to the town that I grew up in and although the friends that I have now are all new (my old ones are still around)it was so much easier because I already knew the town and the country and I had history here. I hope this makes sense.

Susan
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Old Aug 23rd 2007, 2:37 am
  #37  
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Default Re: Where should we be? No man's land?

Hi
Don't ever think you have failed as you mentioned in your earlier post.
You have both given your children a great experience living here in Australia, if you decide to go back to the UK then thats another experience for them.

Another poster summed it up when they said we are all starting again here from scratch, something which is hard to do when you have experienced a successful career and a life in London. I am 4 months in and and missing family and friends (and my old job in London!) and finding it hard to settle.

I wish you the best of luck and happiness in the furture wherever that furture is.
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Old Aug 24th 2007, 2:59 pm
  #38  
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Default Re: Where should we be? No man's land?

Originally Posted by FiP
Hi
Don't ever think you have failed as you mentioned in your earlier post.
You have both given your children a great experience living here in Australia, if you decide to go back to the UK then thats another experience for them.

Another poster summed it up when they said we are all starting again here from scratch, something which is hard to do when you have experienced a successful career and a life in London. I am 4 months in and and missing family and friends (and my old job in London!) and finding it hard to settle.

I wish you the best of luck and happiness in the furture wherever that furture is.

Thanks for your post and good luck with your move too. I was sooooooo homesick four months in. I do sympathise. It did get easier - even if we have decided to go back. I know that talking about failure has a negative spin, but I guess it is how I feel. How could we go from good incomes, good professions and good friends to professionally back to the starting blocks (like I mean when I was in my 20's), income to match and soooooo hard to make friends.
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