Where do you call "Home"?

Old Jul 6th 2007, 12:32 pm
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

been here in Oz 2 years and still think of the uk as home my hubby does also and he has settled here much more than i have.

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Old Jul 6th 2007, 12:48 pm
  #62  
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

I went out with my "well travelled friend" last night, and drunkingly said I think I should move away again.
Her reply, "you have got to stop this grass is always greener syndrome. Wherever you live - thats your home. She has come back recently from 9 yrs in Cyprus, other countries before that, and is always, Home is where I live."

So I asked, what about friends etc that werent there when you were in Cyprus. How could you make that feel like home without the things that make us homesick?
Her reply, "wherever you go in the world, it eventually becomes the same all over - you work, make good friends, pay bills etc. All of that makes no difference. where you live is your home. It is a place to sleep/live.It doesnt mean I dont miss things, but I recognise where my home is unlike the "grass is always greener people" Shes been about long enough to know, the grass is not totally green anywhere and because she recognises that, she knows that wherever she lives has to be her home mindset because if not she wont succeed.

She said to me, "dont think of going away again. What will you actually achieve? you have a home. live it. Its the same sh@t wherever you go."
That really gave me food for thought. shes absolutely right. If i moved again, I wouldnt suddenly be "home" - thats a different concept.
And I liked her views because its also positive for the happy bunnies in Oz. That is their home and they should live it.

Its the people like me, that look to the "next thing, the greener grass" that have the problem and we really need to sort that mindset out before ever contemplating moving abroad.

I think if people travel because of work opportunities/family or some concrete reason thats not "I want a better lifestyle/more for my kids etc" thats not tangable, they do well as they are not looking for a "home" but a self development.

I would never move back because its better for the kids. I am what makes a good life for my kids, and people, who are good and bad wherever you go.
I wouldnt consider a move of any sort right now - theres too much I need to achieve here right now - but I know it would only in future be because of a fantastic job opportunity etc - not something specific to my rose tinted views of a country.
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Old Jul 6th 2007, 1:19 pm
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

England is home to me and always will be,I have lived in the states 22 yrs but never felt I belong here at all.I just want out of here and just can't imagine the thought of dieing anywhere else except England
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Old Jul 6th 2007, 1:27 pm
  #64  
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

I have been in Nova Scotia for 6 months and see Canada as a permanent move. Decide to emigrate to Canada because of a passion for the country not a push from the UK. Everyone has settled in really well, especially the kids (16 and 12) - none of our family have suffered homesickness since arriving even though we had a good life and great friends back in Scotland. Feels really comfy and natural here.

Surrounded by trees, tartan, McDonalds, MacIvors, etc over here so feels similar to Scotland in lots of ways. Not such a huge culture shock I suppose.

However, I always refer Aberdeen, Scotland as 'back home' because it's where I was born and brought up. All my family live there too. We have no family in Canada at all, so I suppose 'home' for me means 'homeland'. Even though we are really happy here, myself and Mr Y-C-D will probably always call Scotland home. Don't know about the kids though, as in years to come I think they may call Canada home

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Old Jul 6th 2007, 3:28 pm
  #65  
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

Your home is a place which holds memories in which you play a part. Your home is a place where you can live and exist comfortably and feel accepted and secure. Your home is your accrued possessions around you, each having 'evolved' into it's special place in the house. Your home is a place where friends feel comfortable,welcome and know where the kettle is

All of these things are non existent when you arrive in your new country....be they physical or spiritual.

When I miss 'home' it always helps if I remember that is still there and nothing has to be forever......if I'm strong enough and sit out the bad days I can probably start to call my new location my home too.....one day
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Old Jul 6th 2007, 4:00 pm
  #66  
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

Had this conversation with with my dad not too long ago. He was saying that, despite the fact that both my grandparents on my father's side were born and raised in Australia - they referred to England (and I most definitely mean, England ... ) as 'home'. It was a colonial, days-of-empire, thing.

I like the 'homeland' idea mentioned earlier ... that makes sense to me. For me, home is wherever I'm living with my immediate family. The day I got on a plane to Australia, home stopped being there.

Assuming we stay in Australia for the duration (I've learnt to accept that nothing is a given) then I fully expect my son to return to the country he was born in. He may possibly move permanently, he may possibly just want to see a bit of the country he was born in, and those around it on mainland Europe.

Who knows ...
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Old Jul 6th 2007, 4:09 pm
  #67  
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

I call here (Melbourne, Australia) home - it is where I feel I belong, and where my heart is.

I've been here for 2 and a half years (a short time on a temp Visa, then PR for nearly 2 years) and am applying for Citizenship on the 9th of August - for me it is the public commitment to a country which has accepted me, has made my life so happy, and where I have found roots.


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Old Jul 6th 2007, 4:20 pm
  #68  
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

Originally Posted by Jan3kids
Your home is a place which holds memories in which you play a part. Your home is a place where you can live and exist comfortably and feel accepted and secure. Your home is your accrued possessions around you, each having 'evolved' into it's special place in the house. Your home is a place where friends feel comfortable,welcome and know where the kettle is

All of these things are non existent when you arrive in your new country....be they physical or spiritual.

When I miss 'home' it always helps if I remember that is still there and nothing has to be forever......if I'm strong enough and sit out the bad days I can probably start to call my new location my home too.....one day
Well said. I have two homes...the physical and present one in the US...the other is my 'special' home. The place were I was born, raised and spent most of my life in.
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Old Jul 6th 2007, 4:40 pm
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

Home for me at present and hopefully for a long time, is the house that my family have lived in for the past 12 years on the Gold Coast, it is my favourite place, and I love to sit out in my backyard with my hubbie, listening to some nice music, sharing a meal and some drinks, often with friends, and watching the lovely sunset. I am so happy here.

But when we fly to England and touch down on English soil, it brings me to tears, then I know that I am truly home amongst my " Kith and Kin".
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Old Jul 6th 2007, 5:10 pm
  #70  
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

Originally Posted by gedge
i probably should stop myself here but it's something i have to ask
when you refer to "people back home" don't you ever stop to consider that "home" is where you're at currently?
i don't mean to pick you in particular, it's something i notice regularly and seems strange to me
I used to make a point of calling Australia "home" in the first couple of years I was here. Now I know it ISN'T home - I don't feel I belong here, and I have tried so hard. Now I'm resigned to living here, whether I like it or not, but it certainly isn't home, and so I can't call it that - it doesn't feel right.
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Old Jul 6th 2007, 7:34 pm
  #71  
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

Home is wales for me & always was even when i was in Oz.

I agree its where the heart is & my heart was never in australia!
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Old Jul 7th 2007, 12:03 am
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

Originally Posted by Sally
I think sometimes when we say "home" we mean it in the sense of "the homeland".
I think it's exactly that. My mum is Irish and moved to England when she was 20. She loves England and wouldn't dream of living anywhere else but she always refers to Ireland as "home".
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Old Jul 7th 2007, 5:41 am
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

Originally Posted by Geordie George
Because you're happy here.

People unhappy in Aus have more to gain (and therefore focus on that) than those of us who are happy in Aus. We have more to lose. And so we worry about that.

Home is just a word. Don't let how someone else thinks about it worry you. Even if that someone else is J.
i know i shouldn't and i do try not to let it be an issue
that's half the reason why i asked on here, to understand
Originally Posted by Geordie George
I'll chat lettuce prices with you, chuck.

I aint playing no stoopid three word story, though.
are you sure?
Originally Posted by Wendy
Gedge, I think us women are a lot more attached to people than you guys are. We need our friends and family around us, whereas you guys seem to be content with the smaller family unit. I know I still miss my Mum like crazy, and she's been gone for 3 years now. My OH couldn't care less if he never spoke to his Mum or Dad again.

That's not to say guys don't miss people, but they are happy for a quick chat with them once in a while, women need that 'closeness' that unfortunately Australia takes away because of the distance.
i did wonder if it was more a bloke thing, same as the homesickness threads that come up
family do play a large part in where "home" is i guess especially when you're close knit
Originally Posted by Stitch
I think I try and say back in the UK or here in Oz. I think because I still haven't quite settled in either place and not sure about home yet. I live in a house but not yet a home...if that makes sense.

Cheers

Ginny
so do you make a conscious effort not to refer to the UK as home?
and yes that does make sense to me because that feeling of "home" doesn't just happen
Originally Posted by Pollyana
I used to make a point of calling Australia "home" in the first couple of years I was here. Now I know it ISN'T home - I don't feel I belong here, and I have tried so hard. Now I'm resigned to living here, whether I like it or not, but it certainly isn't home, and so I can't call it that - it doesn't feel right.
that sounds the closest answer to what my OH would say
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Old Jul 7th 2007, 5:52 am
  #74  
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

Originally Posted by gedge

i did wonder if it was more a bloke thing, same as the homesickness threads that come up
family do play a large part in where "home" is i guess especially when you're close knit

I think it is more a man thing. Generally I think women tend to dwell on things more than men. Most men can push things to the back of their minds and move on.
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Old Jul 7th 2007, 8:19 am
  #75  
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Default Re: Where do you call "Home"?

For me it is quite simple. Home is somewhere I feel I belong. I have never felt as though I belong here in Australia. When we were coming into land over London the last time, I got the most enormous lump in my throat and tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't expect that sort of raw emotion at all, but the whole time we were in England, I felt as though I belonged. So that's it for me, England is my home, it's where I feel the most comfortable and content.
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