Elaine B.

So I was just reading Donna's thread and was wondered want was the worst job you ever had?

I think mine was working in a bar in Larne and getting paid £1.50 per hour. I made the mistake of not asking what the wages were before I started. I quit after the first pay cheque.

gotoronto

Ohhhh... that's a fun one!

I was a locker room cleaner for 2 weeks once - GBP 3.60 an hour. :-)

Reading fan

Running a greasy spoon roadside burger wagon.Female and about 21yo.

Donna Allan

OK, well you know what my one is but I'm getting paid £8 an hour, way more than the minimum but I still hate it.

quoll

Before I spat the dummy and quit last year, my career job turned out to be just like working in a toxic cesspool - I loved the work it was the bureaucratic crap that they all went on with which made the job unbearable in the end and after 25 years at it too! Other than that, I think the worst job I ever had was filing a zillion cards in alphabetical order (back in the pre computer days) for a student travel service. Job I loved most was when I was a kid - serving petrol!

leith

Working on a production line in a chicken packing factory. The birds came in live at one end and went out in plastic bags at the other. I was putting the giblets back inside the birds in little bags. Hot, humid, and horrible hearing all the squawking. The only fun happened when two of the women got into a fight and started throwing offal at each other.

Mysterio

I worked for Expel air years ago. I did it because the money was good.
After 6 months I had to get out, the people working there where like
zombies you had to get a pass if you wanted to leave early and a pass
to get in. They even had there own sick room with a nurse so you
couldn't go home if you felt ill. It was dreadful !! I'm not frightened of hard work
but slave labour and imprisonment no way

Nu-Shooz

I did child minding for 8 months. I nearly killed the lot of them. Wonder why i hate kids now...brats

Cheetah7

I have had lots of bad jobs, not to mention a bad habit of leaving them.

I think the worst ever was working in medical recruitment and the supervisor told me 'If you are lucky, a Doctor might just take you out to lunch' I told her I wasn't an escort and she told me she didnt like my attitude.

I phoned her the next day and quit - she was mortified.

I also did a temp job as a PA to head of psychology - I HATED that one and after I successfully passed all my computer exams that she paid for, I managed to get another job and left.

So many crap temp jobs only now I am getting a mortgage, I have to rein in my temper a bit. My tolerance to w*nkerdom is not very high and I dont take crap, however I shall be biting my tongue for a bit - till I win the lotto that is.

Mummy in the foothills

Worst ever for me. Night shift in a US nursing home Eww the smell and the disgusting way people were treated. I hated to go to work, I lasted 4 months while waiting for my UK transcripts and a couple of classes to get my US nurses license.

rabsody

One of the worst was perfume squirter in a department store: "would you like to try some Poison this afternoon madam?". Was about 19. Lasted one afternoon.

northernbird

Yuk, the worst perfume ever invented. I loved it when I was 16 and it was so fashionable but the smell makes me heave now.

Worst job for me was my first job in London at 19. It was advertised as a Training Administrator for an Apple Mac training company based on Bond Street. I was so excited to be there. My job was general dogsbody which included walking to M&S at Marble Arch to get sandwiches for delegates and serving it to them at lunchtime. I absolutely hated it and my boss Eleonor from Luton the bitch! It still gets me angry now.

Elaine B.

I also used to work for a bank in the head office and for some reason the section leader didn't like me (how that's possible I don't know). I remember I was sitting doing my work and minding my own business when she turned to me and said "Elaine you're really pissing me off" I was very quiet and shy at the time and burst into tears. Luckily I was transfered shortly after that.

backagen

I've had loads of awful jobs, but I think right up the top of my list would be when I was working as a door to door salesperson.


The 'job' (if it can be called that) was advertised in the newspaper employment section, and sounded ok so I applied, and was invited to attend a group interview.


The interview seemed sort of normal enough at first (for a group interview) and there was about 10 of us sitting around a boardroom style table.

We were given a very inspirational speech by the owner of the company and told that with a little hard work and determination, the company would reward us very very well and we would find that not only would we be on great money, but we would be able to retire in between 5 - 15 years (depending on how 'ambitious' we were) and that when we retired, we would still be making as much money as we were just before we retired, if not more. This was due to so-called "residual income".


For those who have never had the misfortune to be sucked into door to door marketing scams, "residual income" means that the people who have bought the product (in this case home security alarm system) would be on a 5 year alarm monitoring plan, which would be automatically renewed after the 5 years unless they explicitly asked otherwise (which "never" happens because everyone LOVES the protection the monitoring gives them).

As each customers contracts got renewed, I would automatically recieve a bonus payment of $150. Not only that, but the company would contact the customer shortly after the first 5 years and offer them an upgrade to the latest new alarm system. If they took up the offer (which "everyone" does) then I would receive a further bonus of $250, all without doing a thing!


So the more customers I signed up, the sooner I could retire and the richer I would be when I did! Sounded great.


The owner then passed around a piece of paper on which we were required to write
- our name
- our phone number
- the exact date on which we planned to retire


(note that there was nobody in the interview over the age of 25)


Anyway later the same day I got a phone call from the owners assistant telling me the owner had been "very very impressed" and could "easily see that I had a fantastic future in marketing" and I had got the job, and would start the following Monday.


So I turned up as requested the following Monday at 9am. Seemed like almost a normal standard office type job at first.


Anyway I soon found out that every single person who had been at the group interview had also managed to make the boss very very impressed, and as it turned out, every one of them had an equally fantastic future in marketing as I did!


We were then shown a very thorough demonstration of the alarm system we would be selling. It happened to look identical to the one my parents had in their home, which was a useless piece of ****. But being young and naive I didn't let that put me off too much, besides I needed a job and I was utterly sucked in by the idea of being able to retire in 5 years time and never put up with the stupidities of work again!


We were then split into small groups and had to learn word for word, a script that set out exactly what we were to say when visiting 'customers' in their homes.


According to the script, every "customer" was a young couple named John and Jenny, who had 2 young children, a dog, a lovely home, but absolutely no security of any kind. Needless to say, all of them were desperately keen to protect themselves, their possesions and their loved ones, so our job would be easy.


The remainder of that first week I worked 9am to 8pm each day, sitting in the office learning and rehearsing the script through roleplays with the other salespeople.


The following Monday was to be my first day of actually going out to visit "customers". An experienced salesperson would be coming with me "on an obbo" (to watch me and then criticise me, and as I found out much later, to hijack the sale from me on the off-chance the customer actually was interested in an alarm!)


Before we were allowed out to our first John and Jennys house, we had to sit down for 2 hours and roleplay the script again. This was to happen every day for the entire 8 months I worked there.


Every day (Monday to Friday) we had 2 hours of compulsory role-play (anyone who didn't turn up for roleplay, or didn't take part in it to the owners satisfaction, was publicly fired without warning, because there was no hope for them. They were "one of lifes losers". Anyone who quit of their own accord was equally hopeless, so I assume that after I finally decided to leave, the others were told what a useless loser I was too!


Anyway after the role-play session, we were then kicked out of the office immediately (so the 11am starters could come in) and had to go and drive around or sit in our cars until we recieved an SMS message to tell us who our first appointment was with.


This text message could come almost immediately after we left the office, or could be up to 2 hours later. The “customer” could also be anywhere in the metro Adelaide area, so I might have to drive for up to an hour to get there. Needless to say all fuel expenses were my own responsibility!


On arrival at the “customers” house we had to go through the script exactly as rehearsed, no matter what. Quite often we would be sent to a fake customer who was actually one of the other salespeople who we didn’t know, so they could check that we were following the script and if we didn’t, we were reported to the boss and fired!
The script was designed very carefully to be JUST within the bounds of consumer laws. Nothing we said was actually untrue as such, but the truth was stretched and twisted as much as the company felt we could get away with.

So I would wait for my text message, and really couldn’t do anything in the meantime but sit in my car because I had no money! Usually when it came, the text message would say something like “URGENT!!! Mrs Hanovan. VERY keen to sign up! 111 Smith St Penfield. Go now!!!”

On arrival I would more often than not find that the customer was actually not in, or if they were, they were an elderly pensioner with severe dementia, living in a council house that already had an alarm! Nevertheless, I did my best to sell!

The first stage of the presentation was to get into the house. The telemarketer that had contacted the “customer” had simply picked a random number from the phone book and told them that we were doing a “community safety awareness survey” which would only take a couple of minutes, and in return for their time we would give them a free first aid kit. NOTHING was ever said about selling alarms!

So we had to persuade the person that in order to do the survey properly we needed to go inside the house. It wasn’t easy and a lot of them wanted to just answer the questions in the “survey” on the doorstep and get their free 1st aid kit!

Many of them told me they had clearly told the telemarketer they were NOT interested in taking part in the survey and did NOT want a free first aid kit, but nevertheless I still had to try to get in the house. We were told by the owners assistant that, as a last resort, we were to tell people that we desperately needed to use the loo, and if they didn’t let us in we would have to do it on the doorstep! (Seriously)

RULE NUMBER 1 was that, once inside a “customers” house, DO NOT LEAVE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES until either they sign up for an alarm, or they call the police because you won’t leave!

Once inside, the next stage was the “casual chat to get to know them”. This involved going around their house offering to mark all their valuable electronic items with an invisible ink pen (shows up under infra red light) to protect them in case the items were stolen.

This gave us an excuse to hopefully see their entire house, during which time we would make ‘casual observations’ about how many valuable possessions they had, any pets they had, and any existing home security they had (and tell them how useless it was and how burglars would easily get around it).

Also as part of the “get to know you” stage, we would casually ask about who lived there, where they worked, and things like that. This was made to sound like harmless friendly chit-chat whilst marking their valuables, but actually was to get a rough idea of their income level so we knew how much to try and charge them for the alarm (yes there were a few very different prices).

Usually in this initial phase, most people naturally began to suspect I might be trying to sell something, and my response had to be an emphatic NO. (The logic behind this, if tested, was that I was never going to sell them anything, but THEY might choose to BUY something, which was completely different.)
Anyway then came the “Whilst I’m here, I might as well show you something new and exciting that I know you will be interested in” part.

I had to pull out a folder and use it to start going through the presentation about the alarm. The first page was a map of metropolitan Adelaide, with each suburb shaded a different colour. The ‘customer’ was told that this was based on “recent police statistics” and the darker the colour, the higher the level of home break-ins in that suburb.

THIS WAS ALWAYS RIGGED SO THAT WHATEVER SUBURB THE CUSTOMER WAS IN WAS THE WORST SUBURB FOR BREAK-INS! I had a different map for each suburb in my car and had to put the right one in before going into the house.

I would then show the customer the map and ask them to point to their suburb. I then had to put on a very shocked look when I ‘realised’ that it was the worst area in Adelaide! This ‘shock statement’ as we called it, was always carefully rehearsed in the role-play sessions to make certain we could do it convincingly and without laughing.

Then I would tell then in great detail how wonderful the alarm was. Thinking back, it was really over the top. I had to literally act as if I was IN LOVE with the alarm! This too was carefully practiced. I had to make a very special point of giving the customer their first privileged look at the main panel of the alarm, and tell them in an over-awed manner, that it is “The rolls-royce of home security”. I then had to ask them “Have you EVER seen ANYTHING like this before?”

Hilarious!

Anyway after going through the rest of the presentation, (during which I was to drop a few subtle reminders about the various houses I ‘happened to notice on my way here’ that had ‘obviously’ been broken into) I then moved onto the selling (oh, sorry, I never ‘sold’ anything), I mean the asking them if they would like to buy part.

I had to start this phase by asking them “How much do you think it is worth to protect the life and safety of you and your loved ones (I had to name as many of them as I could), your pets and your …..(insert most valuable possessions)?”

Regardless of the answer, I would then show them a page in the folder that showed what we referred to as the “standard price” of the alarm. There were several pages of “standard prices” and we had to pick the one that seemed like they might be able to afford it, depending on our assessment of roughly how much income they probably had.

Now this next part was probably the dodgiest of all. IF the customer was willing to pay the “standard price” that I showed them, then I was to then try and close the deal based on that price.

However, if they said they couldn’t afford it, I would then tell them that our company was currently protecting many families just like them in the local area, as a community service because it is such a high crime area. Because we were installing lots of alarms in that area, it meant our installation technicians didn’t have as far to go, and it lowered our installation costs. Because of this, if they sign up today, we were able to offer them a special “local area discount”.

I then turned the page in the folder to reveal the special “local area discount” price, which was much lower than even the cheapest “standard price”.

Again, I would make a big deal out of how cheap this was (compared to the standard price) and try to get them to sign up at that price.

If they still said they could not afford it, then I had to act very distressed and tell them that I fully understood their financial position, but there was no way I could live with myself if I left them in such a vulnerable state, especially since they lived in (insert name of suburb). I would call my boss and see if there was anything I could do to protect them.

I then had to pretend to call the owner of the business, but really I would call on of the other salespeople. I had to make this call in front of the “customer” so they could hear every word I said. I had to tell “the boss” about how I was with (name of customer) in (name of suburb) and they have (insert their childrens names, pets, valuable possessions) and a lovely house, but only (insert whatever home security they have) to protect them from a break-in.

I then had to tell “the boss” (who had obviously hung up as soon as he/she realized it was one of these calls) that I know that (insert suburb) is the worst area in Adelaide for break-ins, and that in fact I had passed several homes on my way there that had been broken into. I then had to say that (customers name) loves the alarm system, and definitely wants to protect themselves and their (whatever) but simply cannot afford to at the moment. I had to say that I had “even shown them the local area discount” and they couldn’t even afford that. Is there ANYTHING AT ALL we can do to help them out?”

Whilst saying this in front of the customer, I had to act like I was so distressed by their plight that I was about to break down in tears! I then had to give the customer the impression that the boss was not sure if we could do anything, but he was going to speak to “the big boss in Sydney” to ask the question, and then he would call me back!

About 5 minutes after I made the call, whichever salesperson I had phoned had to call me back, and then hang up as soon as I answered. That was my “call back from the boss”.

I then had to get VERY VERY excited and inform the ‘customer’ that “the boss must be in a good mood. He’s going to give you a FREE alarm! He’s NEVER, EVER done this before!” and then I had to thank the boss very enthusiastically for being so kind, and literally I had to jump up and down with excitement and try to get the customer to show some excitement too at how overwhelmingly wonderful it was to be getting the worlds first ever free alarm!

Without exaggerating, I was literally required to shout “WOO-HOO” (yes, it was actually in the script at one stage) and wave my arms around in the air whilst jumping up and down! How I managed to do all this without giving the game away I just don’t know!

Anyway I then had to fill in all the paperwork for the order of the alarm, and slip a sealed yellow envelope underneath it once the customer had signed it.

The catch was, even if they had signed up for the “free” alarm, what they didn’t know is that in the contract they had signed, (on page 74) it said that in agreeing to have the alarm installed, they had also agreed to have it monitored for 5 years, at a cost of $11 per week, which would be automatically charged to their credit card if they had paid for the alarm itself that way, or else they would receive a quarterly bill. It also said that this 5 year contract could not be cancelled before the end of 5 years without paying substantial penalty fees, and it would be automatically renewed after the 5 years, unless they explicitly cancelled it before then, and that the $11 per week would then be increased to the “market rate” at the time.

So the customer was actually given all this information, (as required by consumer law) and I was also required to make reference to the envelope to ‘draw their attention to it’ as also required by the law. So what I had to say was, right at the end of the visit, “and I will also draw your attention to the technical information in the yellow envelope. Keep that please and it might be needed by the installer when he comes”. I had to say this very casually in the hope that it would sound like the yellow envelope was of little interest to the customer and hopefully they would not open it or read the information in it. Even if they did it contained a 132 page document so hopefully they wouldn’t bother reading it all. The bit about the recurring charges was towards the back of the document!

The other thing about this company is that in the 8 months I worked there, it changed its name 6 times, to avoid being sued by “customers” who were not happy! Quite a few people actually found the office and came in while we were doing role-plays (because they could only get a recorded message if they phoned).

The complaints ranged from having an alarm that was useless (as they all were) to having been mislead into thinking they would not have to pay for monitoring and being very surprised when they received their first bill. The boss would act very sympathetic to them and say that nobody had ever had a problem with the alarm before, and ask them what the name of the company was who they purchased it from. Invariably we had changed the name and he would simply point them to the sign outside our office and tell them that we are not the company they bought their alarm from!

That was the worst job I ever had (but very very funny to look back on now) and in the time I was there (8 months) I made a total of $440 (about 200 pounds)! I would have spent much more than that on petrol!

a couple of other things about that sales job I forgot to mention:

1. There was no pay at all unless you sold an alarm (no 'retainer') commission only.

2. Not only did the name of the business change regularly, but so did the script (to ensure it kept up with any changes to consumer protection law) and we even once changed the alarm system we were selling to a completely different one. Until that day we had been told to virtually worship the old alarm, and then one day suddenly the boss announced that we would now be selling a brilliant new system instead of "that old piece of ****" (referring to the previous system). That was what made me finally decide to leave.

3. As a way of motivating us, whenever any salesperson signed a customer up, they had to send an SMS to the bosses assistant, and he then send an SMS to ALL the other salespeople (including me) which read "The dark horse has struck again!" or sometimes "(Salespersons name) has butchered one!" Gives you a pretty good indication what the owner thought of his customers!

4. I have yet to recieve a cent of 'residual income' I was promised!

5. When I told the boss I was resigning, he took me aside and spent 2 hours trying to pursuade me not to. He told me that, even though I had only sold a few alarms in the 8 months I had been there, he could see that I had "massive potential" and he didn't want to see it wasted.

He told me (this is not a joke) that my problem was that I was not convincing enough when I spoke to customers, and the reason for that was a lack of self confidence. He told me that he was going to give me one week in which to work on my self confidence, and during that week I was not to visit any customers, but instead I was to still attend morning roleplay sessions, and then go out and do some 'assignments' he would give me to increase my confidence level.

I asked him what these assignments would be and he told me the first one would be to dress up in drag (which I would have to buy because I didn't have anything suitable) and go and find a male police officer, and try to chat him up, whilst dressed in drag!

I told him I did not want to do this because it really wasn't me. He said that is the whole point. I was supposed to do something that 'wasn't me' so that I could become more confident in 'acting' and therefore become more convincing when talking to John and Jennys!

BTW I did NOT take him up on this offer. I quit!

rabsody

Contact Ricky Gervais IMMEDIATELY with what you've written in your post. There is so a show in that!!!

Un-friggin-believable.