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What would make you stay ???

What would make you stay ???

Old Jun 27th 2007, 2:42 am
  #16  
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by karni31
yep...I know...but he still has friends in London (he lived there 10 years) and I think he thinks it would just be too hard to start somewhere else..it wouldnt even be like my family would be close either as they are in N Ireland...I am not a huge fan of London but am willing to go back there to be with him as my family will only be short flight away (not the massively expensive marathon trip it is from Oz)..
yep, good point, starting over in a new place takes work & at least London is not on the other side of the world
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 7:19 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

I don't think anything at this point would actually make me totally happy and contented here. But that does not mean I am not making the best of it. Recently had a long weekend with just hubby on Fraser Island and planning some more nice weekends as soon as possible.

I have made the choice to settle for the family being together for a few more years until the children are older and then will reassess options again.

but what could make me happier

Enough money and work holidays to spend at least six weeks in the UK every year
Enough money and work opportunities to have family here in Aus for 10 weeks every year.
Enough money and opportunity have more travel opportunities outside of Aus and the UK.

Hell I just need a lottery win and a fantastic job that does not mind me only working 25 weeks a year.
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 8:06 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Hi all, used to say to people,"its not too bad for me as i only have my sister in the UK,other people have large families",like it would be easier for me for that reason.Anyway,its because I ONLY HAVE MY SISTER in the Uk that i am going back she is(apart from immediate family)the reason i am going back!I miss her so dreadfully i have learned a massive lesson!x
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 8:10 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

a ball n chain
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 12:24 pm
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

well i have to say there is nothing at all that would make me go back to Oz at all now, not even if hubs begged. I hated it then & i hate it even more now, though dont know why, prob cos of all the shit i had there!

I may be lonely & fed up here but at least its home & i have everyone here that i love!!

I guess only you can know what is best!

I wish you luck!

Judexx
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 12:36 pm
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by megansmummy
well i have to say there is nothing at all that would make me go back to Oz at all now, not even if hubs begged. I hated it then & i hate it even more now, though dont know why, prob cos of all the shit i had there!

I may be lonely & fed up here but at least its home & i have everyone here that i love!!

I guess only you can know what is best!

I wish you luck!

Judexx
'Hey Jude'

Hows you doing. Been wondering how you're getting on. Hope you're not too fed up. Give it time my dear
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 12:37 pm
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Like yourselves we are returning to Oz after 2 years back in the UK.

I think alot of it depends on your frame of mind at the time. If you are miserable then there is nothing that would make you stay.

I thought we would never, ever return to Oz yet here we are making plans to return.

Some days I think we must be mad, it's a bit like throwing yourself off a cliff with your eyes closed and hoping that there will be something to soften your fall

I think it takes courage to admit that you don't like it and want to return, maybe you should have asked "what would make you return?"

Mandy
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 1:04 pm
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by Scrawni 2
Like yourselves we are returning to Oz after 2 years back in the UK.

I think alot of it depends on your frame of mind at the time. If you are miserable then there is nothing that would make you stay.

I thought we would never, ever return to Oz yet here we are making plans to return.

Some days I think we must be mad, it's a bit like throwing yourself off a cliff with your eyes closed and hoping that there will be something to soften your fall

I think it takes courage to admit that you don't like it and want to return, maybe you should have asked "what would make you return?"

Mandy
simple. family.
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 1:04 pm
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by rabsody
simple. family.
sorry scrawni, that wasn't meant in reply to your post, but in reply to the original question!
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 4:43 pm
  #25  
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by Mally Lass
Been to Oz, HAD to come back, and before we make the move again, and have different regrets, I just wanted to know from all those who are going back to the UK at some point, if there's anything that would make you stay and make you happy and ..content ???

I'm really looking for negatives that I might have missed or not really thought about and would like to mull it over before we leave for Oz again. We can't afford to make the mistake the next time, with 3 kids and 3 LARGE dogs. Next time it has to be for 'keeps'
Well, I'm not in Oz (in the US) and can only speak from my experience, but I can say as someone who *has* thought she would be here forever, never say never. The U.S. is my home, and I have a lot of roots here--including a network of friends who are like a family to me, but we're going back to the UK because we're ready for a change professionally, and I want my parents to have a real relationship with my two boys. it's about reestablishing home (or trying to).

What would make me stay in the US (what *has* made me stay?) Feeling a sense of belonging, making a full life for yourself where not being "home" is always eating at you. A sense that this *is* home. For some people it's possible, largely because of circumstances, and for others it's just too much of a shift.

If what's eating at you is not about "home" but more about guilt because of your Mum, well I would say that's not necessarily a good reason to remain. Hard call though. One of my reasons for going back is that even though my parents are relatively young, my dad is in his 60s and slowing down just a touch. Traveling to the US will become increasingly hard, and vice versa, especially as my boys become teens. This factors in for me. But it's not the only reason.

Other things that would make me stay--a really really well paying job, with the summers off, which would pay me enough money to buy a place in Europe and also enough to go back and forth several times a year. Not much!
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Old Jun 29th 2007, 1:57 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by gingajoy
Well, I'm not in Oz (in the US) and can only speak from my experience, but I can say as someone who *has* thought she would be here forever, never say never. The U.S. is my home, and I have a lot of roots here--including a network of friends who are like a family to me, but we're going back to the UK because we're ready for a change professionally, and I want my parents to have a real relationship with my two boys. it's about reestablishing home (or trying to).

What would make me stay in the US (what *has* made me stay?) Feeling a sense of belonging, making a full life for yourself where not being "home" is always eating at you. A sense that this *is* home. For some people it's possible, largely because of circumstances, and for others it's just too much of a shift.

If what's eating at you is not about "home" but more about guilt because of your Mum, well I would say that's not necessarily a good reason to remain. Hard call though. One of my reasons for going back is that even though my parents are relatively young, my dad is in his 60s and slowing down just a touch. Traveling to the US will become increasingly hard, and vice versa, especially as my boys become teens. This factors in for me. But it's not the only reason.

Other things that would make me stay--a really really well paying job, with the summers off, which would pay me enough money to buy a place in Europe and also enough to go back and forth several times a year. Not much!

Thank you for your honest reply. Thanks to everyone else too

You are right though, my issue isn't with *home* as I've never felt like I belonged anywhere really, although I was happier in Oz, than I ever was in the UK. Silly, but I feel a connection with Oz, that I've never had here in the UK. My issue is however, with the guilt of leaving my Mum, who only has me to care for her when she's older.

Such a dilemma. I just feel that if I take too long to really work out whether or not the guilt is worth it, It will be too late anyway, and I will have missed the boat again !
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Old Jun 29th 2007, 2:11 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by Mally Lass
Thank you for your honest reply. Thanks to everyone else too

You are right though, my issue isn't with *home* as I've never felt like I belonged anywhere really, although I was happier in Oz, than I ever was in the UK. Silly, but I feel a connection with Oz, that I've never had here in the UK. My issue is however, with the guilt of leaving my Mum, who only has me to care for her when she's older.

Such a dilemma. I just feel that if I take too long to really work out whether or not the guilt is worth it, It will be too late anyway, and I will have missed the boat again !
Hi Mally

I am not going to try to convince you either way as only you can make that decision, but one thing i do urge you to do if you do go, is make peace with your mum. Spend good quality time with her and make sure you tell her all the things you thought you couldnt. I am not sure how old your mum is, but i dont htink that matters as we never know what is around the corner.
Last year i lost my dad. He was very old 90 in fact, but thankfully for me, on my last visit back to UK, i decided that i needed to make closure with him as we may not get to see each other again. I was right. I told him how much i loved him, thanked him for all the things he did for me and told him how great he was.
This might seem a morbid thing to do, but believe me, when he did pass away i felt so much better about things because i knew he realised what he meant to me.
It's a big thing that most people do not think about, or dont feel comfortable doing.

Best wishes in whatever you decide
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Old Jun 29th 2007, 2:28 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
Hi Mally

I am not going to try to convince you either way as only you can make that decision, but one thing i do urge you to do if you do go, is make peace with your mum. Spend good quality time with her and make sure you tell her all the things you thought you couldnt. I am not sure how old your mum is, but i dont htink that matters as we never know what is around the corner.
Last year i lost my dad. He was very old 90 in fact, but thankfully for me, on my last visit back to UK, i decided that i needed to make closure with him as we may not get to see each other again. I was right. I told him how much i loved him, thanked him for all the things he did for me and told him how great he was.
This might seem a morbid thing to do, but believe me, when he did pass away i felt so much better about things because i knew he realised what he meant to me.
It's a big thing that most people do not think about, or dont feel comfortable doing.

Best wishes in whatever you decide
Thank you so much. What you did was not morbid at all. I only wish I had your courage.
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Old Jun 29th 2007, 7:46 am
  #29  
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
For me, there is nothing that would make me stay.
I have come to the final decision that i am English, thats where i belong. My family are on the other side of the world. That will never change. I cannot bare the thought of spending the rest of my life with short glimpses of them via a computer and the odd visit if i am lucky. When i am old what memories will i have of my family? Very few.
I had to ask myself a very deep question. Does living here makeme feel whole and complete? Answer most defintiely NO!
that is why im going back. NZ will still be here in 10 years. Im missing seeing certain family growing up. You can't put a price on that and you can't turn the clock back.
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