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What would make you stay ???

What would make you stay ???

Old Jun 26th 2007, 11:19 pm
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Default What would make you stay ???

Been to Oz, HAD to come back, and before we make the move again, and have different regrets, I just wanted to know from all those who are going back to the UK at some point, if there's anything that would make you stay and make you happy and ..content ???

I'm really looking for negatives that I might have missed or not really thought about and would like to mull it over before we leave for Oz again. We can't afford to make the mistake the next time, with 3 kids and 3 LARGE dogs. Next time it has to be for 'keeps'
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Old Jun 26th 2007, 11:30 pm
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Crikey you're putting a huge pressure on yourself saying the next time is 'for keeps' aren't you!!!

I mean, none of us move here, after spending years getting the visa, with the intention of; spending thousands of pounds, breaking our families hearts, struggling like hell to settle here, spending thousands and thousands of dollars re-creating a life here, disrupting the kids, to just end up going back to the UK. I know I speak for a lot of folk here when I say ...we too said it was "for keeps"!!

I'm not having a go at you honest, but don't put so much pressure on yourself because you just don't know how you will feel down the line. Always leave a 'get out clause' in the pipeline somewhere!!

But, what would make me stay? Ermmm... maybe all of the family moving over? I don't know because that would never happen.
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Old Jun 26th 2007, 11:44 pm
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Thanks Tracey

I know what you mean. We lived (Happily) in Perth for just over a year the last time and really had no intentions of coming back, but had we stayed longer, I might have felt differently. A year is still honeymoon period if you like !

We HAD to return for various reasons, but when I say 'for keeps' it really would be, because there's no way we would be financially able to ship our 3 dogs back home again, let alone ourselves and belongings etc. Plus my OH parents are OZ and I dont think he would want to leave them again. So my school of thinking is to try and think of all the reasons I "Might" want to go back to UK and deal with them before I leave.................if that makes any sense
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 12:06 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by Mally Lass
So my school of thinking is to try and think of all the reasons I "Might" want to go back to UK and deal with them before I leave.................if that makes any sense

You know what? I could list a thousand things I miss from home but those may not be the same things you'd miss. I reckon it all comes down to a sense of inner 'belonging' to a place. I just don't belong here and that's that, in a nutshell. This is not my home. I don't feel right here.

Good luck to you. Are your three big dogs Siberian huskey's by the way? if so, I see a couple of those about by us. Stunning dogs. Shame about the moulting though! The woman who owns those two dogs reckons it's like tumbleweed around her house...big tufts of the stuff floating around everywhere!!
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 12:22 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

For me, there is nothing that would make me stay.
I have come to the final decision that i am English, thats where i belong. My family are on the other side of the world. That will never change. I cannot bare the thought of spending the rest of my life with short glimpses of them via a computer and the odd visit if i am lucky. When i am old what memories will i have of my family? Very few.
I had to ask myself a very deep question. Does living here makeme feel whole and complete? Answer most defintiely NO!
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 12:35 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by TraceyW
You know what? I could list a thousand things I miss from home but those may not be the same things you'd miss. I reckon it all comes down to a sense of inner 'belonging' to a place. I just don't belong here and that's that, in a nutshell. This is not my home. I don't feel right here.
I understand completely. There were never things I really missed about the UK, except for silly things I used to buy really, but I've always felt like I didn't belong here in the UK and dont think I'll ever really settle here even though I was born and bred here

Good luck to you. Are your three big dogs Siberian huskey's by the way? if so, I see a couple of those about by us. Stunning dogs. Shame about the moulting though! The woman who owns those two dogs reckons it's like tumbleweed around her house...big tufts of the stuff floating around everywhere!!
It's true the tumbleweed in our house could fill a few dozen quilts.

They're Alaskan Malamutes, which are like double sized versions of Huskies.



the pics really crap, sorry
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 12:48 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by Mally Lass
I understand completely. There were never things I really missed about the UK, except for silly things I used to buy really, but I've always felt like I didn't belong here in the UK and dont think I'll ever really settle here even though I was born and bred here



It's true the tumbleweed in our house could fill a few dozen quilts.

They're Alaskan Malamutes, which are like double sized versions of Huskies.

http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g1...woogirlies.jpg

the pics really crap, sorry
Hi

Beautiful dogs!!!!
I think you're right that the 1 yr period can still be the honeymoon, was for me. I hadnt missed UK at all by hen, well the odd thing & people of course.
As Tracey said, everyones reasons are specific to them.
All I know is the reasons I want to go home are many & varied & I dont see myself living here long term.
Good luck with moving back.
I do think thinking for ever puts alot of pressure on you
T
x
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 12:57 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
For me, there is nothing that would make me stay.
I have come to the final decision that i am English, thats where i belong. My family are on the other side of the world. That will never change. I cannot bare the thought of spending the rest of my life with short glimpses of them via a computer and the odd visit if i am lucky. When i am old what memories will i have of my family? Very few.
I had to ask myself a very deep question. Does living here makeme feel whole and complete? Answer most defintiely NO!
Fleaflyfloflum...

can totally relate to what u say about family...no matter how 'happy' u feel at any time in Oz...it could be the perfect day..sun shining, everything going great...I feel there will always be that sadness that u will be missing out on being with family and the longer u are here, the further u fall out of their lives..I know it sounds melodramatic....

I even miss arguing with my big sister!! She has been so supportive of me since I have started to be unhappy here and I realise how much I love her and how important she is to me...if I do go back I will think twice about arguing over stupid stuff..
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 1:09 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by karni31
Fleaflyfloflum...

can totally relate to what u say about family...no matter how 'happy' u feel at any time in Oz...it could be the perfect day..sun shining, everything going great...I feel there will always be that sadness that u will be missing out on being with family and the longer u are here, the further u fall out of their lives..I know it sounds melodramatic....

I even miss arguing with my big sister!! She has been so supportive of me since I have started to be unhappy here and I realise how much I love her and how important she is to me...if I do go back I will think twice about arguing over stupid stuff..
I agree.
I remember when I'd only been here for 2 months, it was my brothers 30th, missed the big party with all our chums etc. I sat and ate a whole pack of choccy biccies (never eat biccies), ended still feeling sad and sick too
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 1:14 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by birdynumnum
I agree.
I remember when I'd only been here for 2 months, it was my brothers 30th, missed the big party with all our chums etc. I sat and ate a whole pack of choccy biccies (never eat biccies), ended still feeling sad and sick too
yeah....hit the choccie biccies a fair bit myself recently...

my partner keeps hoping we will win the lottery and then we can spend the Oz winter back in UK and vice versa...dream on...guess that would be the answer to all our problems..split time between both countries..
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 1:21 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

My only holdback really is that :

1. I ONLY have my Mum here in the UK, no other family (well not that I've seen for 15 years plus anyway)

2. My Mum ONLY has Me (she's single and I'm an only child)

I think my experience from the last time is whats doing my head in, because I was guilt tripped into returning for my Mum and my Dad the last time and when I got back here, it was totally unecessary

If I go this time, will the guilt trip be resistable ??? Advice anyone
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 1:21 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by karni31
yeah....hit the choccie biccies a fair bit myself recently...

my partner keeps hoping we will win the lottery and then we can spend the Oz winter back in UK and vice versa...dream on...guess that would be the answer to all our problems..split time between both countries..

Maybe it would.
Thats good your other half is looking to moving back.
You know you said earlier about property in London, would you consider living out of London? More affordable for a start and if you did have kids together may be good to be out of London
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 1:28 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by birdynumnum
Maybe it would.
Thats good your other half is looking to moving back.
You know you said earlier about property in London, would you consider living out of London? More affordable for a start and if you did have kids together may be good to be out of London
My partner doesnt seem to want to consider anywhere but London if it is the UK we go to strangely enough..he seems to think he wont be able to get work anywhere else...I am actually from the North of Ireland..that is where my family live and he DEFINETELY says he wont consider going there as again he thinks there is no work and the weather is too crap...

hes impossible...
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 1:31 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by karni31
My partner doesnt seem to want to consider anywhere but London if it is the UK we go to strangely enough..he seems to think he wont be able to get work anywhere else...I am actually from the North of Ireland..that is where my family live and he DEFINETELY says he wont consider going there as again he thinks there is no work and the weather is too crap...

hes impossible...
slap him
thats a shame as theres so many other places to live within the UK arent there
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Old Jun 27th 2007, 1:34 am
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Default Re: What would make you stay ???

Originally Posted by birdynumnum
slap him
thats a shame as theres so many other places to live within the UK arent there
yep...I know...but he still has friends in London (he lived there 10 years) and I think he thinks it would just be too hard to start somewhere else..it wouldnt even be like my family would be close either as they are in N Ireland...I am not a huge fan of London but am willing to go back there to be with him as my family will only be short flight away (not the massively expensive marathon trip it is from Oz)..
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