luvwelly

Good luck but please don't delay on the wisdom teeth...especially given your timescale....unless you will be going private in the UK, you will have a wait on the NHS in the UK for wisdom teeth removal in hospital.
If they are causing you pain and discomfort...get rid of them now...they don't get any better if there is no room for them. It's not the big deal/horror story everyone makes it out to be in most cases...with a hospital GA it's a breeze. I/V sedation is another good option for wisdom teeth removal if just local doesn't do it for you!

TraceyW

I listened to my gut instinct and knew I had to go home. I wanted to belong again.

Despite trying very hard to make it work, keeping myself busy, buying lovely things and decorating, going out and making friends, I knew this place would never be enough for me. I can't stand the feelings of isolation and "this is your lot".

I'll be home in 7.5 weeks

brits1

same reasons for me really, it can be a very dard decision for some and an easy one for others to return but you live only once and you have to be truly happy for how you live not what you have...I know plenty of well off people here in Perth and a large % of them are not happy.......good luck Tracey I book my sons ticket today.....one way with Singapore, the Malaysian tickets had sold out...I have cried a river over this and at times have just wanted to stay as it's easier but it's not the right reason to stay....hopefully our home will sell soon and we will follow shortly....had an awful dream that when we arrived at Manchester Airport our son said "he would not be living with us as he loved staying with his Auntie and Uncle.......he has been spoilt rotten"....boy oh boy do I want this nightmare over with........
All the best and you are doing the right thing Tracey.....you OH will be fine and enjoy training in a new career.....
Jackie

milligano

My main reasons included:

1. Mum ill. My mum has been out visiting us and felt a bit unwell. I went back with her with my new baby to show my family and when I was returning she had to start chemotherapy. I wasn't there to help her and I felt awful. ( My mum is well now although I am glad I am here to help her as she is 75yrs and little boy adores her)
2. Family. My baby boy was missing out on extended family.
3. Education. Now that we had a baby we starting thinking about education. What I found out about schooling and further education in NZ did not inspire us at all.
4. Work. My OH's job was moving to AKL or to OZ neither of which appealed to either of us although my Oh would have settled in AKL. I had a fab job and the thought of working in a city again and now we had a baby filled me with complete dread.
5. Constant state of "should we" shouldn't we" stay or go home conversations/arguments started to really wear us both down so in the end we put a deadline on making the decision then made it and stuck to it.

No one thing on its own but rather a combination of factors made the decision for us.

Those factors listed above also included looking at our standard of living, missing friends, lack of being able to travel as much, growing old in NZ etc were also taken into account.

MrMuffin

1. Family. As so many have said before, being away from your family is awful. And worse than that, each time you visit the UK, you have to choose who to spend time with and for how long. And just when you get comfortable with everyone again, it's time to go.

2. Kids. I have a baby on the way and hoping for more in the future. I can't even imagine not being within half hour's drive from my Mum when we have kids growing up. She'll go crazy, and so would I knowing that she's in another country missing out. Plus my sister is pregnant too so our kids will be actually able to get to know each other, rather than just seeing each other every few years for a few days here and there.

3. Day to day life. I know everything cannot be 'perfect' wherever you live, but every day something grates on me more about the States. I have many reasons that I don't need to start typing out here, and all just my opinions. But when I am in the UK I feel at home. The 'New England' region on the East Coast feels more like the UK to me than anywhere else in the States I have been (from the light, the colours of the trees and greenery, etc.) but it's still not Britain.

Gettingtheflipout

MrMuffin- totally get what you're saying- I have a hard time turning on the tele or walking down the street without seeing something in Vermont that makes me want to lose my temper- I used to be such a calm individual too!

My wife and I want to have kids, too, and there's just no way we could contemplate it here- we're both wokring ourselves into the ground for next to nothing, cost of housing is through the roof, and with the whole health insurance nonsense we'd have no way of knowing if my wife would get adequate care if something went wrong during the pregnancy (she's a little older, and knows there are going to be complications) and quite bluntly if someone presented me with a bill afterwards, I think I'd deck them. Sorry, I'm an NHS man and always will be happy to pay taxes to keep it going.

we moved to vermont because it reminded me of the UK, but honestly, its not, and never will be.

Sue1

Hi I have just been reading about you going back to the uk and it really makes me homesick, I have only just got onto this website so I am new to it. My story is we came to NZ 6 years ago and stayed for 2 then went back to UK for 4 and have now returned to NZ, yes crazy story!! Now we are back again with 2 boys this time and I am even more homesick than ever, OH would be quite happy to stay as he would of last time but it is just me, can't stop thinking of all my family back home. Don't know what to do feel I have really screwed up!!!! Sorry you got this whinge hope you don't mind.

TraceyW

Don't mind at all. That's what we're all here for on this site. We can whinge and moan all we like beacuse there'll always be someone who understands how you feel.

My advice to you? Go home. Sooner rather than later. Those feelings may dim, but they'll never go away and living with the constant ache in your gut because you know you're living a lie is just awful.

Get out, go home, get back on with your life where you belong.

Good luck

Sue1

Hi thanks for listening, I think in my heart I know we will go home it's just facing up to it, feel bad for OH

Fleaflyfloflum

The first couple of years in Aus I really loved it. In fact i was a staunch defender of it. Sadly, as years went by, I found myself becoming increasingly unhappy and uncomfortable with it. Stupid little things began to irritate far more than they should
Eventually it escalated into a kind of loathing. Not for everything as there were always some things i did like, but the place started to drive me up the wall.
The final straw for me was the birth of my grandchildren and the absolute dread that i was going to miss their baby years and childhood. I could not bare that.
My impending old age started to play on my mind too. I am approaching middle age and already have diabetes. The thought of contracting some of the nasty and life threatening conditions associated with it in Australia filled me with fear.
Since arriving back in UK, I have discovered there is a new wonder drug available to me (which i am being trained to inject next week). I could not have this in Australia because it is expensive and they refuse to give it to Australians!!!

So, for me, there is very little choice. I belong in blighty. Healthwise and heart wise.

Cheshire Karen

Going Home:

1. Education - the more I read and see about Oz education concerns me greatly.

2. 'Its best to be Average' Culture - I want my kids to be the best that they can be. To excel if the are at all capable.

3. Monotonous Work Culture - long hours, few holidays, work for works sake, resistant to change or improve. OK in my hubbys line of work teh money is way better in OZ but at the expense of extreme boredom on his part and less time with the family.

I actually quite like Oz now, but contrary to popular feelings, I think they will have a more rounded life experience in the UK.

3 go mad in Adelaide

We actually made up our minds very shortly after arriving - within the first couple of weeks I had that 'Oh god, what have I done feeling'. If I'm brutally honest I think I had reservations before we left England as the last few weeks, whenever anyone wanted to talk about it and ask me questions I tended to clam up, really didn't get excited.

It's very strange, I have lived here before in my teens and have family and friends here. My OH was offered a job and sponsored which was a great position to be in. We were both adamant in our decision to come here and very positive about it. Which is why I think we are both quite flumoxed as to why we are quite so unhappy. It has surprised us both greatly, the level of homesickness we are feeling and the fact that we really did take our friends and family for granted. If anything I thought my OH would settle like a duck to water - but he actually seems to hate it more than I do!

We have been trying to make it work (although arriving before winter set in was probably not our brightest idea!) trying to meet people, but to be honest we are soooo bored! I can't see what people do, even if it is winter (our busiest social period in England) I think in the UK we are so used to having crap weather that we don't let it stop us socialising a having a laugh. Because the social life here is so based around the barbie (yawn) that it only happens in the summer months. The UK has the most wonderful atmospheric pubs (my local with thatched roof, open fire and Daphne's wonderful cooking!) which are great to curl up in at any time of year - and I love a good pub quiz too! Also things like bonfire night and Halloween, oh, and I loved the Harvest Festival at our local church (my daughter went to the church school so was also involved) and the Christingle Service. All this, feeling like I really belonged to a community is what we are missing - we don't even see our neighbours most days! It's a beautiful place, we have gorgeous views of the Adelaide hills from our house, the weather is lovely (outside of winter!) but I just don't feel any 'soul' here. There are plenty of other little things that niggle at us but I'm already rambling on.

The thing that has really sealed it for us is our little girl. She has had terrible problems fitting in at school (despite her VERY best efforts) she has been teased and bullied and just so sad at times. She misses her friends so much (and I know that would fade in time) but it's her relationship with her Grandparents that I feel most guilty about. They absolutely adore each other and we feel that we have 'robbed' them of that relationship - you can't get that back. So next year, back to blighty we go - not being sorry that we came here as it has been the best life lesson ever, but with a renewed love and respect for our family, friends and Country.

Sue1

Hi everything you write is how I feel, just one problem OH he is one of these who gets on where ever he is, oh and the kids seem to like it here (NZ) think it is just me. Having said that sure the kids would like seeing grandparents again and cousins. Sometimes think I think to much, or is that a girl thing. We have only been back in NZ since may 16 after being in UK for 4 years but the people aren't the same as when we left in 2004 I know everyone changes but they seem to be worse, gone more materialistic and quite bitchy, was quite a shock. OH says we should try and give it 2 years so he can get more experience (retrained in uk when we went back last time) so I can understand what he is saying it's just I feel like a fish out of water some days. Yes I know I'm going on, will stop now.

scampicat

Hi thanks for the advice about my teeth. However, this has been threatening for years , my UK dentist has been keeping an eye on them and says they WILL need doing in the next few years. I have been attending this dentist when I go to the UK.

He's working on January 2010 and seems OK with that at the moment.

They do play up occasionally but after a few days on paracetomol and ibruprofen they are OK again.

Thanks once again for your concern.

moosey2canada

BE WARNED the fable of the NHS subsidised dentist is just that a FABLE i know i recently paid almost £1000 pounds (i do have to be sedated because i cant help biting the poor man which accounts for £300) for private treatment as i couldnt find an NHS dentist with vacancies with 250 miles of my home! But if it hurts or its holey it needs help - best of british too you!