scratchey

if you dont give it a go you will always be thinking, what if, this is what i have heard a lot. but, for all who are coming back or have returned, would you say all the hassle and money is worth finding out "what if" ?

scratchey

gotoronto

Tricky one. When I asked my husband just now, he said, "No, it is not worth the hassle and the money." He suggested going on a long holiday instead.

I have to confess, I tend to agree with him. All the hassles we had and the money we lost is really painful. Not to mention the price of re-establishment back in the UK. I've been lucky enough to find a job 4 weeks after we returned - but at a salary cut from what one would normally expect at my level and it's set my career back. But still, I am am glad we went back. I am still much better off than I would have been in Canada.

On the other hand, I was so miserable in the UK and London before we left and had the Canadian experience. I don't know if I would have ever been at peace with myself and would have enjoyed being here if I had not tried Canada. I am seeing the UK and London in a whole new light since we returned. I have become a lot more happy and optimistic. I accept the things I used to hate about the place and smile about them - as I know now that no place is perfect. I doubt this would have ever happened if we had not had such a disastrous few months in Canada.

Londonuck

Spot on.

scrubbedexpat055

I spent 18 years saying "what if"

We got very close when me and my DW wee first together (got as far as medicals being requested by CO) then decided not to do it, mainly because we had no money, or certainly none after paying off the negative equity we were in (Oh ya, and interest rates were about 12% then as well )

Now we have been, and ok, its not worked for us, but at least I can now be settled. Whether its worth it depends on your measurement, financially no, but in terms of inner peace then yes.

** Note, the inner peace bit, assumes I can get a job when I get back, don't fancy being unemployed on top of everything else. **

Pete

lobby lou

my experiance....4 years ago my dh was offered a job in uae ...i really didnt want to up route the family...had lots of doubts .....bot we took the plunge and rented our house out in uk....and 4 years on ....itsthe best thing we ever did...the quality of life here is fab...dh only works 7 hours 5 days a week(could do 18 hr days there),kids have an excellent schooling,sunshine every day(do missthe rain lol),kids do so much more here,dh and son play on a fab golf course (could never afford back home)an on the money we have saved in 2 years we have been able to buy a fab house in cyprus .......(and no im not bragging)im not that type of person ....just sharin our experiance xxxxx

backagen

I really don't know but I am tending to think it depends on how strongly you want to know "what if?"

If you've been wondering what if for nearly 20 years as I have, then perhaps it is worth it to at least put your mind at rest.

spuds

I'd definitely do it all again even though parts of it were deeply unpleasant! In my experience, you only regret the things you don't do.

I would never feel as settled here or have the appreciation for my family, British culture, good friends etc had I not spent the last 5 years in Oz.

That said, it does make you wonder what else is out there...I've heard Canada's nice

gotoronto

I wish you all the best on trying to settle again. I understand that inner peace bit... . I get nauseaus when thinking about all the money we lost emigrating - but inner peace is sooooo important and for the first time in my life London actually feels like HOME. It's so weird!

Took me exactly 4 weeks to find a job... I think in this climate that is good going, really.

backagen

Good to hear such great news gotoronto!

I just hope one day I'll be able to say that wherever I am really feels like home and that I am truly settled and happy to live wherever it is I live.

lobby lou

IMHO...home is were ever my family are xxxx as long as im with dh and the children that need me(2 now grown up ,but moving to where we are)that will always be HOME xxxx

3 go mad in Adelaide

Y'see, I just don't get that (sorry!). I have a wonderful husband of 13 years and a beautiful little girl whom I adore with all my heart, but just because we are all in Australia together does not make this place feel like home.

Home involves a familiarity and fondness for people and surroundings, a shared history and treasured memories. My OH and daughter are not and have not been the only people in my life to give me this. I truly love my little family, but them alone isn't enough I'm afraid - I want my parents and siblings, my best friends, all the people who have made my life what it is.

I told my husband recently that I love him very much, but he's not enough to fulfill my whole life, he understands that and I believe he feels the same. I don't like being this dependant on his company. Can one other person (plus children) really be enough to make anywhere feel like home?

They are the joy in my life, but not my whole life.

(BTW - we'd still do it all again, best learning curve of my life!)

lobby lou

my mum died and my dad spends half a year with us ...so for me yes it is enough xxxi have fab friends were i live now...but the most important peeps in my life are defo my DH and my kiddies xxx i understand we are not all as lucky to be able to feel like this...that is why i did say IMHOxxxxxxxxxxx

etali

I agree with the person who says if you've been thinking about it for a long time, it's worth doing. I know a lot of people who joke occasionally 'If X happens I'll emigrate', but that's different to thinking about it seriously, looking up tests and requirements, etc.

If you get that far, you probably really do want to go, and you'll probably regret it if you don't.

Same for coming back.

3 go mad in Adelaide

Yes, understand that you say this is only is your opinion, and I didn't say you were wrong - just that I don't really understand it. Ok, I get the bit about your parents and am glad you have good friends around you now - they probably play a bigger part in your happiness than you give them credit for.

You say that your OH and kids are the most important people in your life (like mine aren't!) and that we are not all as lucky to feel like this - I don't know what you mean here? Do you somehow believe that I love my family any less than you do yours? Just because I appreciate that it takes more than them to make me a 'whole' person? I am less of a person here for being without other important people in my life and I believe that my OH and daughter are suffering for it - my spirit is not the same. For openly saying this I don't think makes me a worse wife or mother, maybe a more rounded one (certainly round the middle, but that's another story)

lobby lou

no i dont think that at all......im just saying for me they make me complete and for that i feel blessed and for that i would feel at home anywhere they are xxxxi understand how u feel ...i have had some good friends here never settle and have had to go home...to were ever that may be....for them i feel sad as they missed a great experiance by being unhappy for the whole time here.....as i say i felt like you for a year ......but now we have had the best 3 years of our lives since i truely settled and look forward to many more .....then when we are 50/55 we will look at where we retire.....we have a house in wiltshire and one in cyprus (which we could only have afforded by working here)so for that as well we are truely happy...god luck with ure move home ...and i hope it proves to be the best thing for ure family xxxxx