What do we do?

Old May 13th 2007, 7:04 am
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by Perth NOR
We have been here in Perth 18months, me, wife and 2 teenagers 13 & 16. Me and the 16 yr old love it here…the wife and 13 yr old want to go home…We are settled with our own house, nice cars and are enjoying life here. We have a couple of good friends, but the 13yr old is lonely and seems to cry must of the time. The wife is homesick and cries now and again, but is scared of what the UK will hold for us if we go back. Has any one been in this predicament and if so what advice can you offer. Has anyone gone back and regretted it….
Its tough, but please do yourself and your family a huge favour and stay until you get you citizenship, I can't stress that enough to you. You haven't explained what homesick means or why the younger child wants to go home etc.

Regards

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Old May 13th 2007, 7:24 am
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by englishrose
hi,all i can say is that we too are heading back to the uk ,from canada,for financial and health reasons.
our kids are happy here,but they are equally happy to be going back ," as long as we are all together" my 10 yr old tells me.
i always said that if my hubby was miserable id go back.
its actually been a joint decision,borne out of necessity.
the reason im posting is that i was also worried about returning,all the horror stories of yobs,violence etc.
im quite sure now that the world is violent wherever you go,as people are the same basically.
where are you from in the uk? would you go back to the same place?
we will be hopefully about an hr or so from where we lived.and that hrs difference is a world apart.
it must be hard when your child isnt happy,have you done all the usual things of getting her into clubs/mtg other kids etc?
maybe seeing her mum cry makes her feel so sad?
i know if mine are upset i could cry for them,but thats a vicious circle !
i dont really know what to suggest,all i wanted to say was,dont be afraid of returning,just choose where you live wisely.
it is daunting tho,i agree,im still hoping we get nice neighbours,good schools,decent friends for the kids .
i think we should all start our own community together !
I would suggest to stay and get you citizenship and your right Binge Drinkers, YOBS, CHAVS, Violence, ASBO's are in abundance here, so if your coming back makesure to do your due diligence and try to find somewhere nice with the emphasis on try, otherwise you will likely run into trouble.

Regards

John
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Old May 13th 2007, 8:02 am
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by Perth NOR
We have been here in Perth 18months, me, wife and 2 teenagers 13 & 16. Me and the 16 yr old love it here…the wife and 13 yr old want to go home…We are settled with our own house, nice cars and are enjoying life here. We have a couple of good friends, but the 13yr old is lonely and seems to cry must of the time. The wife is homesick and cries now and again, but is scared of what the UK will hold for us if we go back. Has any one been in this predicament and if so what advice can you offer. Has anyone gone back and regretted it….
If you have a trawl through the BE site you will find this is a quite familiar story - we returned after 2 years in Perth - OH was happy in Oz and did not want to come back - I was very unhappy in Perth and desperate to return home - in the end he agreed to return and we have now been back almost a year and we don't regret a single thing (our kids were 3 & 5 when we came back) - there is a similar thread on the Aussie forum and to quote one very wise person on there 'people are more important than places'.
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Old May 13th 2007, 8:12 am
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by paulrachel
There is a thread on the Aussie forum similar to yours, about the hubby loves it, but the wife wants to go home.

Basically the replies there were simple, should it matter where you live as long as your kids and wife are happy!!! Big house and sunshine isn't everything.
Thats right, it is nice to have a bigger house (like most houses here) and the sunshine helps but we are split down the middle. Me and eldest for OZ the wife and youngest against. Them two happy in UK we will be unhappy...not easy dilemma to live with at the momment

We spent a year or so planning to come here (like most) but discussed only what would happen IF me and wife liked or didn’t like it here, we didn’t plan for what if we were divided on the decision.
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Old May 13th 2007, 8:24 am
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by Perth NOR
Thats right, it is nice to have a bigger house (like most houses here) and the sunshine helps but we are split down the middle. Me and eldest for OZ the wife and youngest against. Them two happy in UK we will be unhappy...not easy dilemma to live with at the momment

We spent a year or so planning to come here (like most) but discussed only what would happen IF me and wife liked or didn’t like it here, we didn’t plan for what if we were divided on the decision.
I do feel for the two of you and I would reitterate what I wrote in the other thread regarding seeking counselling as a couple to help discuss your dilemma in a neutral enviroment.
I must say that I am not an advocate of the "happy wife, Happy life" mantra that often gets quoted here. Your views , feelings and opinions matter as well as that of your family and there has to be compramise from both parties.
I would agree that your daughter is probably hormonal and pubescent and could well be like this in the UK.

Good luck
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Old May 13th 2007, 8:27 am
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by borehamwood
best option ,i reckon
That’s what I’m really hoping for at the moment. Then hopefully by the time we get it our heads should be a lot clearer for the better or worse (depending on who for though) Then like the other post said it will give us more options in the future.
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Old May 13th 2007, 11:00 am
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Default Re: What do we do?

It must be really awful and such a worry for being a family split down the middle like this. Would your wife be willing to give it a bit longer maybe? It does take some people longer to settle than others and at least then you could try for citizenship.

If you do decide to return home though I certainly wouldn't worry - the papers and news reports revel in anything bad as that's the way we are here in the UK - we love doom and gloom. In Oz, news is reported so differently so although bad things happen, you just don't hear about them all the time.

There are many people who moan about chavs and hoodies - but ask yourself what are chavs and hoodies. They are kids. Just because they dress differently to us doesn't mean that they are going to mug or murder you. Every generation had some kind of fashion thing that the older ones were afraid of - teddy boys, mods, rockers, punks.....

In regards to crime - again, ask yourself how many people you know are actually affected by crime. Sure there is violence in some areas, just don't go and live there.

It's about time we all got this into perspective and started to get on with our lives instead of believing these stupid newspaper stories.
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Old May 13th 2007, 4:06 pm
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by dozy_muppet03
I would suggest to stay and get you citizenship and your right Binge Drinkers, YOBS, CHAVS, Violence, ASBO's are in abundance here, so if your coming back makesure to do your due diligence and try to find somewhere nice with the emphasis on try, otherwise you will likely run into trouble.

Regards

John
rubbish. there are plenty of nice areas in england to live.
theres no way we can or want to stay here another 2 yrs to get citizenship,we arent fussed with canada .full stop.
england is where we belong
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Old May 13th 2007, 4:18 pm
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by St.Georges Girl
To me they are nothing. The size of your house, how many cars you have, the weather, beaches etc.etc. mean nothing if they don't bring you inner peace and contentment.
exactly.....they are all material things which do not always constitute happiness imo.
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Old May 13th 2007, 4:19 pm
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by englishrose
rubbish. there are plenty of nice areas in england to live.
theres no way we can or want to stay here another 2 yrs to get citizenship,we arent fussed with canada .full stop.
england is where we belong
me too englishrose.....england is home
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Old May 13th 2007, 4:26 pm
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Default Re: What do we do?

well thats brought a tear to my eye,True brit, your signature.
that poor little girl, and so many thousands of others that we never hear about.
I thought living in "clean ,safe,low crime rate " canada would allow me to relax with my kids more.
In reality,im still scared someone will take them,so it doesnt matter where you live,if you're prone to being a clingy mum then thats it !
i was so naive in thinking perverts wouldnt live here,so i was shocked when i was told that a pedophile lived behind my friends house and had been trying to get her 2 daughters round all last summer to play with his kids .ugh.
like weve said before,here ,it just isnt reported.
its like we are cocooned or something.
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Old May 13th 2007, 4:45 pm
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by englishrose
rubbish. there are plenty of nice areas in england to live.
theres no way we can or want to stay here another 2 yrs to get citizenship,we arent fussed with canada .full stop.
england is where we belong

Well, your right of course, but only if you are not constrained by your budget, but do yourself a favour, try to watch, read or download the Seven Sins of England, a must see for all that have forgotten what England has become.

Good luck with your trip home.

John
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Old May 13th 2007, 4:47 pm
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by englishrose
well thats brought a tear to my eye,True brit, your signature.
that poor little girl, and so many thousands of others that we never hear about.
I thought living in "clean ,safe,low crime rate " canada would allow me to relax with my kids more.
In reality,im still scared someone will take them,so it doesnt matter where you live,if you're prone to being a clingy mum then thats it !
i was so naive in thinking perverts wouldnt live here,so i was shocked when i was told that a pedophile lived behind my friends house and had been trying to get her 2 daughters round all last summer to play with his kids .ugh.
like weve said before,here ,it just isnt reported.
its like we are cocooned or something.

pervs/sickos are everywhere however there are websites to check your areas for pedeophiles....best to always be on your guard
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Old May 13th 2007, 7:22 pm
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Default Re: What do we do?

how do i check? which website?
thanks
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Old May 13th 2007, 8:10 pm
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Default Re: What do we do?

Originally Posted by englishrose
how do i check? which website?
thanks
this is the texas one and we have them for all USA states however perhaps you can google and see if you have anything like this in your area.

https://records.txdps.state.tx.us/DP...tal/index.aspx
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