The Welcome Mat?
 

In reading posts over the past few weeks a common theme has emerged particularly in Brits returning from Australia. It appears that many don't feel they fit in and could never envisage Australia "as home".

I wonder if we could explore this issue a little further:
The two regions are vastly different in climate, geology and topography,
The UK is centrally located in terms of International Political influence with North America also relatively close by where Australia is extremely isolated,
The UK is compact, whilst Australia is vast with great distances between population centres making domestic travel more arduous,
Australia is more perhaps more multicultural and Asia focussed with approx 61% of the population either born overseas or children of those born overseas
The UK has a wealth of History, Art and Culture of which Australia is sadly bereft
UK social culture has a fair indoor element where Australia's is outdoors and often sport focussed

In short there are SO MANY DIFFERENCES it is no wonder that people find it difficult fitting in.

I do however harbour one additional fear and that is are we Australians less enclined to provide the type of warm welcome to UK immigrants that Australians have received for generations when coming to the UK.

I have pondered this and wonder that if this is the fact is there anything of the parent child relationship between us? ie the children (Aussies) always feel welcome back at mum and dad's place but prolonged stays by the parents with the children (who have made new lives) can be strained.
My grandparents were from Sheffield and I have always felt that England would welcome me. When I lived there previously I was never anything but 100% accepted and welcomed, helped in so many ways to settle in. Had employment prospects been different for me at the time I expect we would have made England home.

The ethnic makeup of Australia is changing and there are less and less people with direct blood ties to the UK. I wonder if this will change the relationship between our two regions over time. Every now and then someone runs the Republic issue up the Flag Pole - it will be politically favourable one day and the conservatives will push it through no doubt.

I hope I am wrong and the answer for not feeling "at home" has nothing more to do with than our lack of a convincing Test cricket team!::o

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

No idea! It was quite ephemeral for me - almost a case of visual stimulation. After half a lifetime I just found Australia boring in the extreme but even when things were still ticking along quite happily I missed the green, the variety, the shared sense of humour and a whole raft of other things, any one of which, in its own, would be a minor irritant but together made a rather blah whole. I never expected Australians to be particularly welcoming, I was always too independent to expect others to go out of their way for me but we arrived at a time when it was safer to adopt the local accent or get the constant "whingeing Pom" jokes and that wore thin after a while. Even after half a lifetime I have very few "Australian" friends. The few friends I do have with longevity seem to be mainly long term expats like myself and even my Aussie husband and sons have very few long term friends - we've all had friendships based in work or developmental phases which haven't stood the test of time.

So, bottom line, I've no idea why my heart wouldn't belong when my head was telling me it should. I wasn't expecting a welcome mat per se so it wasn't that! I just didn't "belong" and it's hard yakka being an alien!

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

"So, bottom line, I've no idea why my heart wouldn't belong when my head was telling me it should. I wasn't expecting a welcome mat per se so it wasn't that! I just didn't "belong" and it's hard yakka being an alien!"

Mainly the same opinions for me/we (DOH) as well and especially the comment above. For some "home" is somewhere that supplies you with Sun, others larger homes, more suitable work etc (its mind blowing when you think of all the reasons that make people happy) for us it was about the feeling of really belonging (warts and all) for my friend in Aus she said there was no other country (there is) where her husband could work away (she loved her freedom) for weeks on end, earn a large amount of money (so she did not have to work) and still be in the same country, another friend hated so much green and now lives in Arizona......

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

One thing I never do is overanalyse, we feel at home here in England even though I grew up in Australia. I always feel incredibly welcome here and a little 'lost' in Australia for some reason.

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

Quite right Chris
Over analysis can make one moribund so perhaps better to just go for it.
I just never get the same sort of feedback form Australians living in the UK about not fitting in.

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

And there you have it! I have put up with this cr ap for 36 years, and knew it did not happen in reverse.

I....no! I would like to say more, but I won't. I think you hit on something with that first post though!
Analysis maybe, but it is touching on the reason for a profound and enduring issue, which is why it is relevant.

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

Yes I agree, I have met many Aussies here over the years and they invariably feel at home and seem to be made to feel at home. The thing I found in Australia was everything seemed to be a competition, everything had to be better than the UK. Why that was so important I dont know, insecurity perhaps?
Even after growing up in Australia I still had to put up with the constant Pommie this or pommie that and the need to put everyone else down. I dont miss that one bit.

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

I think there can be danger in looking for (a) concrete reason(s) for choosing to return to the UK. The way we describe it to people who ask is that there was no push to leave Australia, more a pull to come back to the UK.

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

What a great way to describe it!

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

Perhaps I'm in the minority however have personally experienced blatant racism and very unwelcoming behaviour, mainly from Scottish and English ladies I have worked with in the past. Awful, horrible and lead to many nights with me in tears. Also experienced it by little snidey passing comments from people at bus stops, in shops, even in a restaurant once. I have been told how very lucky I am to have been 'given' so many great jobs and how I should feel an enormous gratitude and guilt to be taking away good jobs from locals ... get on your knees and be thankful sort of attitude. Nothing to do with my capabilities?! And yes, actually I do feel blessed. Did make me smile one day where I overheard someone saying in the tea room that I was just after a British passport and willing to marry "ANYONE" ... when I've had a passport since I was 19 due to British father... but hey, you just go right ahead and think what you like small minded person. I'll not enlighten you to the fact I've had one boyfriend over in the UK and 10 years later we married...hmm.....

There is definitely a sense of seniority (? might be using wrong word here) over Australians/Kiwis etc.. in the UK. As in 'we own your country' and don't you forget that.

However... I have not met every single person in the UK and I have of course met many lovely people too. Friends that will be friends for life. A mixture of Scottish, English, South African, Polish, Aussie, Romanian and Irish. I have had wonderful time with lovely British people who tell me stories of them, or their children visiting Oz or NZ. How their relatives are there and how they would love to visit. They in turn are hungry for stories from 'home'.

For the sake of repeating myself in posts, it's a personal experience and unless we interviewed every single person who has lived in a foreign country we shouldn't be tarring every citizen with the same brush just because they live in a certain country. Some people are welcoming and some are not. It's down to the individual. There will be many Aussies who are awful to visitors, horrible. There will be others who are welcoming. Likewise with UK and the US and every country.

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

I agree. The UK is not exempt from xenophobia.

There can be a very unwelcoming and condescending attitude towards folks from other countries, even former colonies like Aus, Canada, S Africa. I worked with several Aussies who felt both overt and covert discrimination from small-minded native Brits around them, especially in the smaller towns & villages.

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

Wow, I have never experienced anything like that thankfully and have found almost everyone so friendly and welcoming. Remember that to all intents and purpose I am Australian when I open my mouth and I havent heard this 'we own your country' thing but not saying it doesnt happen somewhere.
When you say comments from people at bus stops, shops etc I am confused, do you mean strangers?

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

yes of course! I would never associate with friends or people who insulted me!

I was talking on the phone to my brother at a bustop once about the birth of my nephew and an old lady mumbled something like 'why don't you go back there then' or words to that effect... she wasn't smiling with happiness like I was.

Shops - asked if I was looking for work, when I was browsing and when said, 'oh no, I'm browsing thanks' and left the store (not due to that) heard one assistant say something about 'immigration problem' .. perhaps a coincidence..

Told when I was working at a holiday camp by a group of drunken 40 something male idiots 'we own you, we own your country love just get the drinks'.. charming

told by an older group of ladies 'it's disgusting the way the country is crawling with Australian's' to my face....

I won't go on.

No, I don't have a big mouth and I'm friendly to all, no idea why I seem to attract the nasties.

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

I think Australia has a chip on its shoulder and there is a healthy dose of community hatred out there as well.

I also believe there is an inferiority complex... Australians seem to always want to prove themselves to the British, Americans etc.

As for the hatred, watch in any shopping centre car park and see how many people exchange abuse over a simple car park... even walking can cause a problem...just the other day a woman deliberately shoulder hit me because I was walking towards her (I had a wall and couldn't move... she chose not to move... I know people who do this to people on purpose)... shop assistants resent you for asking a question, intelligent people look down on those not so bright, less intelligent people think intelligent people are "up themselves"... I know I'm generalising, but it seems to go on... bogans hate gays, whites and blacks hate each other, bosses and workers are frequently at each others backs and school bullying is out of control. Honestly, I'm just over the nastiness.

I haven't lived in the UK for a long time, but I hope this type of culture isn't rife there as well.

Re: The Welcome Mat?
 

please don't believe this of everyone, this is the absolute opposite of me all of my friends and family. Please don't tar every Aussie with the same brush. There are some good ones!

this is awful, sorry this happened to you, what a pig. This happened to me and a small friend when we were walking in Glasgow. A 'girl' of about 14/15 did this and knocked my friend off her feet. It was awful and I honestly thought they were going to start attacking us. Hope you're ok