We don't know what to do!!!
 

Hi everyone
Just wanted some advice really, I moved to Sydney last June With My husband and Son. We were so excited about our new lives and had dreams of a house with a pool etc!! The house prices around sydney are ridiculous, we can't even get a mortgage for a unit as I am pregnant again and not working, we are thinking we may return to the uk but maybe to a different area. Is there anyone else that has moved to Australia and it's not as they expected it to be?? I'm still looking for the laid back attitude they are meant to have!! Has anyone moved to Brisbane is it any better there? I'm so sick of reading about interest rate rises, it's so depressing, i thought England was bad!
Any advice would be much appreciated!! Thanks Katie

Re: We don't know what to do!!!
 

Dont worry, you're not alone, there are many people on here who have been or are going through similar things.

We moved to Perth in December and are first time buyers and I really dont think we will ever afford anything here. We really miss friends and family anyway so it looks like we'll probably be heading back to the UK soon.

Only you can make the decision as to whether to go back or not but good luck in whatever you choose. :)

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Thanks, It is just upsetting to go back, will you go back to Wigan, we are from greater mcr dont think i could go back there!! It's horrible as we owned our home in the uk, now we have wasted a lot of money coming over here, to return and start again, we just can't see ourselves renting forever like people seem to do over here, is it me or are the rich really rich and normal people are struggling!! I miss Chippy anyway!! ha ha

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We probably would return to the Wigan area but mainly because of family. I would prefer something a little more rural but being firt time buyers we dont really have a lot of choice!

I know what you mean about renting, we would prefer to buy as soon as its possible. The housing market isnt good in either country but at least there are cheaper options in the UK.

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It is hard when you miss family too, my Mum has just gone home, it was horrible saying bye, We nearly went back with her but thought it's best to wait until we have had the baby. Is there any nice areas in Wigan? we want to be near family but not too close!!

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My sister and borther in law have also just been here and gone home and that has only made things worse, you realise just how important it is to be close to family.

There are some nice areas on the outskirts of Wigan such as Parbold and Rivington, also areas going in to Southport are nice such as Burscough and Banks etc.

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I know what you mean, i felt so bad because they had come for a holiday and I was depressed! Moving has made me realise how nice it is to have family nearby, It is lonely especially when i feel like ringing someone and it's not a decent time over there, do your family know you are thinking of going back? Are they telling you to stick it out, mine are, but no-one can understand unless they are going through it. Thanks for the areas i'll have a look.

Re: We don't know what to do!!!
 

No problem.

Most of our close family and friends are aware that we have been thinking of returning and yes most of them would probably try and talk us out of it but like you say, until they have lived on the other side of the world they won't understand how difficult it is, they just imagine the things like we did such as good weather and beaches etc but that doesn't really replace your friends and family. I do like Australia but I just dont think I will ever see it as being our home.

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Well good luck whatever you decide to do, got to entertain a 3 year old!, I hope everything works out for you at least it has been an experience!

Re: We don't know what to do!!!
 

Thanks,

Good luck with your decision too, and dont worry too much as there are many people on here going through the same thing. :)

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I feel for you as I feel exactly the same. Me and my husband left home in November last year heading for brisbane. I am really really homesick, my mum & dad arrive a week on sunday and are here for three weeks, I am so excited and really cannot wait for them to come. But I also know that I will be in a real mess when they go :(.

We are too comtemplating going home. Got sister in law and husband here in June and in laws in August/September. We are also planning a trip home in October to confirm our decision whether to go home or stay in oz.

I miss my family and friends so much and didnt realise until I tripped to the otherside of the world really how much I need their love and support - I feel so selfish.

Just remember oz is not for everyone. And at the end of the day its only money - being happy is the most important factor and if that means going home then do it. I have been told many times "try and think of this year as a long hol and see as much of QLD/Oz as possible" and thats what we are doing most weekends we go somewhere differant. We spent easter camping on Fraser Island and it was fab.

So keep your chin up and dont forget home will always be there. :D

Est

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I know what you mean about feeling selfish, i feel bad that when we have our baby my family wont get to see her, my mum was crying when she was here because she wont be here when the baby is born. It really hit home. It's a good idea to think of it as a holiday but sometimes it's so lonely, i wish i could just rewind back to my old life even though it was mundane!! I just keep expecting that one day we will wake up and know what to do, but we never do!! Where abouts in Brisbane do you live? is it affordable? do your family know you are thinking of going back? Katie

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Hi chopsface (sure there is a good story behind that name!),

I too am in Sydney with a 3 year old boy and am 6 mths pregnant. We have been here a couple of years longer than you, but I completely understand how you feel. Hubby's family live near Stockport, and we are planning to go back to the UK when our new baby is born (probably not to Stockport though!).

The hardest thing for me at the moment is finding people to talk to who understand what it feels like. This forum is great, but it is not the same as a good old chin wag. Don't know where in Sydney you are, but if you fancy having a play date for our 3 year olds sometime and a chat then let me know. Most of the people on this forum seem to be in Perth which makes meeting up difficult!

Catherine

Re: We don't know what to do!!!
 

Hi

We are in Sydney, I think there are a few of us here that want to go home!
We came here in Oct 06 and by Christmas we decided that Aus was not for us, we have been waiting for 4 months to go home as house rented out in UK til now. We have looked at the last four months as a holiday and have been up and down the coast exploring. We go home next week and we are all really looking forward to getting back to our old life x

Re: We don't know what to do!!!
 

Hiya Catherine,
Chopsface is what my husband called me last time i was pregnant because i had a fat face!! charming I know!! I'm due in 4 weeks can't wait i'm huge! I worked at British Gas in stockport before we left for here!! I wouldn't go back there either! I live St George Area how about you? It sounds like you are in the same situation as us, we are waiting for our baby to be born too before going back, there is no point of getting unsettled now!! I think my hormones are making things seem worse too, added to the fact my husband is at work all the time and i've got no friends or family over here!!

Re: We don't know what to do!!!
 

at least you did the sensible thing and rented your house out, i wish we could have our old house back, we sold it and if we go back we'll have to rent again!!

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Your not alone Katie. Many of us here all feel the same as you.
I just want to wake up and it all been a bad dream, but it's not:frown:
Worse thing for us is that we are so skint and in dire straights that it just is not worth the hassle.
Laid back life-style.........wtf!!!

We are going back home to UK, i do believe that would be the right choice for you, good luck.

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I hope everything goes well, i'm soooooo jealous!

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Yes our family and friends do know that we are thinking of returning. They are trying to make us feel positive. They will be happy as long as we are happy (even if it means them putting up with us staying with them 6 months if we return) Some my friends didn't want me to leave in the first place and will be really happy if we return.

Both sets of mums and dads are coming out this year and sister in law and husband. So we have that to look foward too.

Brisbane seems to us pretty affordable but house prices are on the up all the time - when I spoke to Ray Whites the other day about selling they told me that our house will have gone up $25,000 since we bought it in January this year - but most of that $25,000 icrease would go to their fees - $12,500 to sell - ouch :curse: and if we sell before having the house a year we would have to pay the $7,000 first home owners grant back :eek: Think we will be waiting til the years up if we return.

Like you say - I would love to turn the clock back :(

Est

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Hi Katie,

Sorry to hear things are rubbish for you.

I just wanted to say that if you are on a PR visa, are you aware that your baby will be an Australian citizen? I wanted to point that out because in the future how would you feel if your baby decided to return to Australia and you couldn't get back in? This is a real possibility that you need to consider.

If it was me, I would try another state at least until I got citizenship, then at least it would be possible to return if your baby did decide to return.

The whole of Australia is not as expensive for housing as Sydney (well except for Perth :D ) I don't work at all and we have just bought a house with a pool in South Australia. Of course you need to find out where the jobs are for your hubby, and look at the prices of real estate in that area.


Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you :)

Re: We don't know what to do!!!
 

I've got a permanent spouse Visa as my husband was born here, i'm not sure where i would stand, it's so easy to think we wouldn't want to come back but never say never eh!! We are thinking of trying another state but we can't face moving again at the moment with the baby due in a month, and also feel guilty moving our 3 yr old again. My husband will do anything so it doesn't really matter where we go. Thanks for the advice!

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Hi all

I just wanted to say that we are in the same situation too. We came here, to Perth from St Helens last July, and we are finding it difficult to settle. We cant afford to buy a house, and we know quite a few people in the same situation. We are currently renting here in Perth, and cant see us being able to get a mortgage for a long time yet!

If we decide to go back to the UK, we wouldn't be able to buy our own property again, we would have to rent or live with family for a while.

I to thought it would be a better life out here, but our children miss their family lots, and they keep asking to go home? I thought they would have settled after almost a year here, but that isn't the case.

Good luck to you all in whatever you decide, because I really dont know what we will decide to do?

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My son is 3 and has lived in Sydney since he was 7 months old so doesn't really know his family at all, yet he still asks if we can go and live near granny and grandad!

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I Know it's horrible not having family, it breaks my heart when Harley asks to see his nannie.

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I know all about fat faces! I still have 3 months to go but already feel like a blob!

Sadly you are at the other end of town to me - I'm near North Ryde on the north shore. Guess with 4 weeks to go you aren't going to be very keen on going anywhere right now! Hope all goes well with the baby.

I know what you mean about disrupting your 3 year old by moving state. Our little boy has lived in 7 houses already in his little 3 years of life! It will be a big move for him when we go back to the UK as he has no memories of living there, and the poor little blighter feels the cold ever so much so will be in for a rude awakening at the UK winter!

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We were on the webcam to grandad the other day and Laurence said to him "Is that your house grandad? We can come and visit lots when we come to live near you". That nearly brought tears to my eyes and confirmed to me that we are going to do the best thing for our son by moving back.

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That's not too bad then, you can always apply for another spouse visa (I think) if that situation arises.

Your hubby sounds lovely and supportive, bless him. Just you concentrate on having your baby honey, everything else will sort itself out later on.

Stop feeling guilty though, I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about, kids that age are happy wherever they are. so long as their parents are with them, so try to keep smiling for now :)

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My son saw his Nanna on webcam the other day, and he broke down in tears again! It upsets me to see him so upset, and then his Nanna was upset because she saw him upset!

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I know what you mean, my son has got used to wearing hardly any clothes now, don't know how he would react to wearing 50 layers of clothes again! Have you made friends over here? I feel like aussies are different, not as down to earth and they havent got that dry humour? It's a shame i dont live near to you, it would have been good. we can still chat though! You are right I don't feel like going anywhere i'm so tired and Harley wont have afternoon naps anymore. What's your due date? do you know if you are having a boy or girl? Are you definately going back?

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I work 4 days a week and have good work colleagues, but don't see any of them outside of work. I have one Aussie friend and one british friend (who I went to school with). That's all really. My mothers group started out OK but I could never get beneath the surface with any of them.

Due date is 26th July, but first came 6 weeks early due to pre-eclampsia so I am worried that that may happen again. Don't know if boy or girl this time - found out with Laurence and sorted a name out way before he was born, but this time it will be a big surprise!

99% sure that we are going back. No flights booked yet, but have told friends and family that we are intending to come back in September.

I actually have to go to my first pregnany yoga session now, but will check the boards again later. Once you have enough posts I think you get the ability to private message if you want to.

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I've sent you a private message, I'm sure people will get bored of us talking about babies!! Have a good Yoga lesson!!

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Thanks, maybe you lot should have a "we want to go home" meet up one night, give each other a bit of support.:)

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We did have a "we want to go home" meet up club, but it was us girls in Perth.
Now half of them have gone back to UK, or are going back in the next few weeks and months. Very sad for us stuck here.

We are planning another night out, so for any newbies wanting to join us come along.

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Hi M100,

We're in a similar position to you. We only came out in January this year and already know that oz isn't for us (well me anyway). We're travelling up the East Coast in our campervan at the moment, waiting until our house becomes available, which is rented out until June. We too are now seeing our time here as a holiday rather than home. Feels so much better for admitting how you feel doesn't it? Just waiting for OH to come round to the idea...

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Hi there - I'm from St Helens too. We spent a year in Melbourne and are back renting in Crank now. We lost everything in our move and are now starting from scratch again here but are happier than we ever were in Oz.

And Saints are still winning and beating those pies :D

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Yes once we finally made the decision to go home, we were all sooo much happier, no more tears etc. We still all feel the same after six months and are all happy to be going home, I think if we had stuck it out for two years it would have been a nightmare! Good luck with OH x

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Anyone fancy doing a similar thing in Brissie.......?