Are We Being Punished ?
#106
Re: Are We Being Punished ?
Here we go: http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=738757
Someone taking offence at someone trying to help them.
Someone taking offence at someone trying to help them.
#109
Re: Are We Being Punished ?
Here we go: http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=738757
Someone taking offence at someone trying to help them.
Someone taking offence at someone trying to help them.
This forum is moderated in accordance with the published rules. If it's not to someone's taste then surely they're free to pick another forum or start their own. The length to which this whinging is going on is nothing short of pathetic.
#111
Re: Are We Being Punished ?
Some people really do need to keep their knickers on. This thread is a prime example. People expect free advice with a cherry on top to boot.
This forum is moderated in accordance with the published rules. If it's not to someone's taste then surely they're free to pick another forum or start their own. The length to which this whinging is going on is nothing short of pathetic.
This forum is moderated in accordance with the published rules. If it's not to someone's taste then surely they're free to pick another forum or start their own. The length to which this whinging is going on is nothing short of pathetic.
#114
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 38
Re: Are We Being Punished ?
Well being the OP, I'd like to comment.... :-)
I am very grateful for anybody taking time out to help me out...I genuinely am.
My reaction to the first response was unnecessary, partly because I had only just heard of my mothers diagnosis, and partly because just because somebody feels qualified to sum up somebody else's experience in a couple of words, doesn't make it helpful or kind.
A response that fails to take into count the context, feelings and experiences of the questioner, appears judgmental. Of course a responder is also not a mind reader.
However, any notion that I had unrealistic expectations etc. could surely only be reached after a fair amount of information had been exchanged.
In any case, how can you have entirely realistic expectations over something you've never done before ?
I'm glad I didn't know before, what I know now. I never would have done this, and that would have been a shame.
My original post was really just an opportunity to vent the frustrations over the past few months...nothing more..
Fact is...a forum is the wrong place for this.
Lesson learnt.
I am very grateful for anybody taking time out to help me out...I genuinely am.
My reaction to the first response was unnecessary, partly because I had only just heard of my mothers diagnosis, and partly because just because somebody feels qualified to sum up somebody else's experience in a couple of words, doesn't make it helpful or kind.
A response that fails to take into count the context, feelings and experiences of the questioner, appears judgmental. Of course a responder is also not a mind reader.
However, any notion that I had unrealistic expectations etc. could surely only be reached after a fair amount of information had been exchanged.
In any case, how can you have entirely realistic expectations over something you've never done before ?
I'm glad I didn't know before, what I know now. I never would have done this, and that would have been a shame.
My original post was really just an opportunity to vent the frustrations over the past few months...nothing more..
Fact is...a forum is the wrong place for this.
Lesson learnt.
#115
Re: Are We Being Punished ?
Well being the OP, I'd like to comment.... :-)
I am very grateful for anybody taking time out to help me out...I genuinely am.
My reaction to the first response was unnecessary, partly because I had only just heard of my mothers diagnosis, and partly because just because somebody feels qualified to sum up somebody else's experience in a couple of words, doesn't make it helpful or kind.
A response that fails to take into count the context, feelings and experiences of the questioner, appears judgmental. Of course a responder is also not a mind reader.
However, any notion that I had unrealistic expectations etc. could surely only be reached after a fair amount of information had been exchanged.
In any case, how can you have entirely realistic expectations over something you've never done before ?
I'm glad I didn't know before, what I know now. I never would have done this, and that would have been a shame.
My original post was really just an opportunity to vent the frustrations over the past few months...nothing more..
Fact is...a forum is the wrong place for this.
Lesson learnt.
I am very grateful for anybody taking time out to help me out...I genuinely am.
My reaction to the first response was unnecessary, partly because I had only just heard of my mothers diagnosis, and partly because just because somebody feels qualified to sum up somebody else's experience in a couple of words, doesn't make it helpful or kind.
A response that fails to take into count the context, feelings and experiences of the questioner, appears judgmental. Of course a responder is also not a mind reader.
However, any notion that I had unrealistic expectations etc. could surely only be reached after a fair amount of information had been exchanged.
In any case, how can you have entirely realistic expectations over something you've never done before ?
I'm glad I didn't know before, what I know now. I never would have done this, and that would have been a shame.
My original post was really just an opportunity to vent the frustrations over the past few months...nothing more..
Fact is...a forum is the wrong place for this.
Lesson learnt.
Don't give up on us...get to know the players and let us get to know you. I think you'll find our members are fantastic at helping and supporting each other. Stick around.
#116
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,204
Re: Are We Being Punished ?
There's a time and a place for everything. And I might suggest that posting sarcastic comments in reply to anybody who has come looking for help and advice is just incredibly bad manners. Yes, and that does include "Kev from Basildon".
If you all want to take the piss and slap each other on the back at how on the edge your cutting satirical retorts are, you can do that in other parts of the forum without subjecting new members to a barrage of scorn and ridicule in the immigration section of BE.
If you all want to take the piss and slap each other on the back at how on the edge your cutting satirical retorts are, you can do that in other parts of the forum without subjecting new members to a barrage of scorn and ridicule in the immigration section of BE.
I do understand how hard working the mods are and how difficult it must be to see the same old themes and questions come up. But then again they agree to that role so it must be rewarding in some way.
The rest of us come on to support and enjoy each others company and hopefully not act like 'p*****'
#117
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Are We Being Punished ?
I freely admit that I had unrealistic expectations when I came here. Nothing to get defensive about.
#119
Re: Are We Being Punished ?
So, almost a couple weeks on...hope things have improved and hope there's better news about the mother.
#120
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2002
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 38,865
Re: Are We Being Punished ?
1) I had to live in a hotel for 11 weeks till we found a house
Did you expect to find a house immediately?
2) Our stuff got picked on by customs with a four week delay and $4500 in fees
A quick Google search would have demonstrated that this is quite common. I agree it’s a pain in the arse, and you were probably the victim of a scam... but it’s common.
3) Customs caused $15,000 of damage to our possessions during the search
Well, that's unfortunate... but often happens. That said, it's not their responsibility to treat your possessions as precious cargo. You had an agreement with the shipping company, not with US Customs.
4) The house we are buying is a short sell and is taking forever to close
A lengthy closing is always true for a short sale.
5) We are living in the house on a rental basis till we close and we have discovered numerous issues including high levels of Radon in the water, leaking roof etc. so much that we don't even particularly like the house anymore.
I can't speak to your not liking the house, but these other issues might have been discovered during a home inspection. And, even if they weren't, they're quite common in the area.
6) We have experienced a heatwave, a hurricane and a blizzard
Except for the hurricane, which isn't entirely unknown in the area, heatwaves and blizzards are quite common in the NJ/NY area.
7) The storm at the weekend destroyed all the lovely trees in our front garden.
Alas, this is what happens after such storms.
All of these events, while not necessarily preventable, are reasonably common occurrences. You were unprepared; you didn't do your homework... and, to me, that translated to unrealistic expectations.
At this point, I'm pretty sure I've been put in the same box as those people who post "one sentence responses" which you don't value. So, there it is.
Ian
Last edited by ian-mstm; Nov 15th 2011 at 1:51 pm.