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Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Old Jul 26th 2020, 6:22 pm
  #61  
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by happy artist View Post
no you are not alone especially watching the US implode before my eyes....would love any suggestions on how to make that happen smoothly.

Thanks

Lisa
Hi Lisa. I've responded to your post on the Welcome Inn, giving you a few pointers on how to use BE most effectively for you. And once again, welcome
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Old Sep 27th 2020, 4:37 pm
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

I had been reading this post with a lot of interest, did anyone ever make the decision ?
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Old Jan 7th 2021, 7:33 pm
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

I am in the exact same boat as you, but in the USA, I've been here 30 years too and my youngest daughter is moving to the UK next year, my dad passed away 5 years ago and my mom is now 80 and I've missed so many years with her! I have never not felt guilty for moving and haver never really settled here, and after my divorce ive felt very alone. The only thing I would have in the US my other 2 kids who will probably stay in the US, its so very hard to have your heart in 2 places day after day, but I'm nearly 50 and finally want to feel settled.....just very undecided
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Old Jan 7th 2021, 9:34 pm
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

We sold our place in July 20 and intended to rent for a year before returning to the UK when Australia opened up its borders and the Covid situation was stabilising (we can't leave, or at least not easily right now).

Several things happened to make us delay our move back.

- Unfortunately the covid situation in the UK got dramatically worse
- House prices in both countries began to rise
- Rentals here became non-existent

We've now bought a new house here in Australia, we were lucky to get one we love, there's very little on the market, we're now tentatively planning to move back in 2-3 years rather than one.
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Old Jan 8th 2021, 8:24 am
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by freebo View Post
We sold our place in July 20 and intended to rent for a year before returning to the UK when Australia opened up its borders and the Covid situation was stabilising (we can't leave, or at least not easily right now).

Several things happened to make us delay our move back.

- Unfortunately the covid situation in the UK got dramatically worse
- House prices in both countries began to rise
- Rentals here became non-existent

We've now bought a new house here in Australia, we were lucky to get one we love, there's very little on the market, we're now tentatively planning to move back in 2-3 years rather than one.
Sometimes "things happen for a reason" you never know ..a new home you love might help you settle, if not then on the upside the UK is vaccinating for covid 19 (I have my injection in two weeks) house prices are said to be falling in a lot of parts of the UK and this might help with your move, whatever happens I wish you well.
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Old Jan 23rd 2021, 8:54 am
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Hi! Ive honestly read nearly all of this thread from the start! I hope all of you are doing well during this pandemic, I also miss the UK so much and i havent even been gone as long as all you have! I know most of you are living in the US, but im in Europe i live in the netherlands(holland) I moved over here to be with my partner who is a dutch national, working with security so he did not want to retake law, school ect in the UK so i made the huge move at just 18 years old, im now 22 and honestly i have no idea where these 4 years have went! Im starting to feel like useless, we did plan to move to the UK 2 years ago before brexit happened but my partner went ahead and got a even better job with security working for the government which he is still in training for, its been a long haul and its starting to get me down. im so proud of him going for his dream job but it seems he is forgetting me in the process. he is 5 years older than me also. In the UK im born n raised in newcastle and did Animal care at collage! i got my 2 degrees which can be taken into becoming a vet, which was my dream and still is but because i still struggle so bad with this damn language i havent gotten far at all. i cant study here as course is in dutch. It is so so hard to learn dutch, ive been struggling for 3 years trying to learn it and i still get told my dutch is just not high level for any animal job here. ive did every shitty job you can think of. It honestly hurts seeing my partner accomplish his dreams while im working at a crappy warehouse getting treated like sh*t. The dutch people are completely different to us britons, I still struggle with the culture from time to time. Now that it looks like my partner will pass his training he definitely wont consider moving to the UK now as he is set for life here in his home town, I used to be happy but now its taken its toll, the thrill of living in another country has gone and i just want to move back home, I havent even brought it up with him yet as it breaks my heart because i know what the outcome will be and because i still love him it hurts and when you're young and have been with someone for 4 years its not easy to just up and leave even if he isnt the one for now it feels like young love my mother would say. Im scared of leaving, being alone, having to start over! But I want to be something! i want to have a life a purpose a job i love doing! All i am here is my partners girlfriend. People are always asking me why did you move here? “Because my partner is dutch” I have nothing here really, i do but i dont, i hope you get what i mean haha, Moving back now i can still save my passion to work within the animal industry and get back on my feet again. I literally moved here for my partner without ever actually thinking it through i feel stupid 4 years later and im still here! and now with covid its even worse! Im sorry this message is a mess i just need a place to say my feelings and honestly you're all so kind! I really hope youre all doing well and are safe! its horrible times were dealing with its not easy for any of us! Im not sure what i will do but all i want to do is go back home and make a life for myself again but im scared to take the first leep, its like im comfortable here but im also not? Most of the time i feel like ive waisted 4 years living here and honestly i have because ive accomplished nothing and maybe i only have myself to blame for that but i just cant shake this mindset. It will be tough having to leave the person i honestly thought id spend the rest of my life with, i know im young to say that too but 4 years down the line were still doing great at this moment i cant imagine my life without my partner by my side but if that means living here for the rest of my life im screwed. I also worry about staying and separating in the near future but we never know what will happen. I defiantly dont want to be in my 30s ect moving back to the UK starting over with nothing at all, my animal degree by then would mean nothing too! It just hurts because my partners english is more than perfect, and with being around me and my family and Geordie friends he has picked up on different accents and slag words ext, Him living in the UK would work perfectly but he honestly has no interest in living there at all and it truly breaks my heart but i sacrificed so much for him at a young age too and he cant even consider doing the same for me? Is that even love? When i move back to the UK, it means i would of moved here for nothing as my relationship failed. I dont need a huge reply back or whatever i just wanted to express how i feel! I have no issues against holland! The goverment is a mess but that seems to be a issue in every country these days, but the nature here is beautiful! it is such a gorgeous country and ive truly enjoyed living here on some aspects but the UK is my home and it always will be. I just don't know how im going to tell my partner this is how im feeling, Im not sure when to bring it up neither, with covid i cant travel so i feel like telling him now could break things when i cant even leave yet, what do you think? Again im sorry for such a long post! Best wishes, R
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Old Jan 23rd 2021, 2:43 pm
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by Rachiee View Post
Hi! Ive honestly read nearly all of this thread from the start! I hope all of you are doing well during this pandemic, I also miss the UK so much and i havent even been gone as long as all you have! I know most of you are living in the US, but im in Europe i live in the netherlands(holland) I moved over here to be with my partner who is a dutch national, working with security so he did not want to retake law, school ect in the UK so i made the huge move at just 18 years old, im now 22 and honestly i have no idea where these 4 years have went! Im starting to feel like useless, we did plan to move to the UK 2 years ago before brexit happened but my partner went ahead and got a even better job with security working for the government which he is still in training for, its been a long haul and its starting to get me down. im so proud of him going for his dream job but it seems he is forgetting me in the process. he is 5 years older than me also. In the UK im born n raised in newcastle and did Animal care at collage! i got my 2 degrees which can be taken into becoming a vet, which was my dream and still is but because i still struggle so bad with this damn language i havent gotten far at all. i cant study here as course is in dutch. It is so so hard to learn dutch, ive been struggling for 3 years trying to learn it and i still get told my dutch is just not high level for any animal job here. ive did every shitty job you can think of. It honestly hurts seeing my partner accomplish his dreams while im working at a crappy warehouse getting treated like sh*t. The dutch people are completely different to us britons, I still struggle with the culture from time to time. Now that it looks like my partner will pass his training he definitely wont consider moving to the UK now as he is set for life here in his home town, I used to be happy but now its taken its toll, the thrill of living in another country has gone and i just want to move back home, I havent even brought it up with him yet as it breaks my heart because i know what the outcome will be and because i still love him it hurts and when you're young and have been with someone for 4 years its not easy to just up and leave even if he isnt the one for now it feels like young love my mother would say. Im scared of leaving, being alone, having to start over! But I want to be something! i want to have a life a purpose a job i love doing! All i am here is my partners girlfriend. People are always asking me why did you move here? “Because my partner is dutch” I have nothing here really, i do but i dont, i hope you get what i mean haha, Moving back now i can still save my passion to work within the animal industry and get back on my feet again. I literally moved here for my partner without ever actually thinking it through i feel stupid 4 years later and im still here! and now with covid its even worse! Im sorry this message is a mess i just need a place to say my feelings and honestly you're all so kind! I really hope youre all doing well and are safe! its horrible times were dealing with its not easy for any of us! Im not sure what i will do but all i want to do is go back home and make a life for myself again but im scared to take the first leep, its like im comfortable here but im also not? Most of the time i feel like ive waisted 4 years living here and honestly i have because ive accomplished nothing and maybe i only have myself to blame for that but i just cant shake this mindset. It will be tough having to leave the person i honestly thought id spend the rest of my life with, i know im young to say that too but 4 years down the line were still doing great at this moment i cant imagine my life without my partner by my side but if that means living here for the rest of my life im screwed. I also worry about staying and separating in the near future but we never know what will happen. I defiantly dont want to be in my 30s ect moving back to the UK starting over with nothing at all, my animal degree by then would mean nothing too! It just hurts because my partners english is more than perfect, and with being around me and my family and Geordie friends he has picked up on different accents and slag words ext, Him living in the UK would work perfectly but he honestly has no interest in living there at all and it truly breaks my heart but i sacrificed so much for him at a young age too and he cant even consider doing the same for me? Is that even love? When i move back to the UK, it means i would of moved here for nothing as my relationship failed. I dont need a huge reply back or whatever i just wanted to express how i feel! I have no issues against holland! The goverment is a mess but that seems to be a issue in every country these days, but the nature here is beautiful! it is such a gorgeous country and ive truly enjoyed living here on some aspects but the UK is my home and it always will be. I just don't know how im going to tell my partner this is how im feeling, Im not sure when to bring it up neither, with covid i cant travel so i feel like telling him now could break things when i cant even leave yet, what do you think? Again im sorry for such a long post! Best wishes, R
You certainly haven't wasted 4 years and at 22 are still young enough to do everything. Many at that age haven't even left their bedroom, so don't let that bring you down. I know many dutch people here in Ireland and they certainly have a different sense of humour, but that won't change. I think it's great that you want to be a vet and people who care about animals have my total respect. We have animals and were glad to find someone who really cared about their health. It's not as if the UK is far from Holland (maybe now), so it really is about compromise. If not then it's just meant to be that way and it's not like your partner is moving to the other side of the world.
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Old Jan 26th 2021, 9:06 am
  #68  
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by Rachiee View Post
Hi! Ive honestly read nearly all of this thread from the start! I hope all of you are doing well during this pandemic, I also miss the UK so much and i havent even been gone as long as all you have! I know most of you are living in the US, but im in Europe i live in the netherlands(holland) I moved over here to be with my partner who is a dutch national, working with security so he did not want to retake law, school ect in the UK so i made the huge move at just 18 years old, im now 22 and honestly i have no idea where these 4 years have went! Im starting to feel like useless, we did plan to move to the UK 2 years ago before brexit happened but my partner went ahead and got a even better job with security working for the government which he is still in training for, its been a long haul and its starting to get me down. im so proud of him going for his dream job but it seems he is forgetting me in the process. he is 5 years older than me also. In the UK im born n raised in newcastle and did Animal care at collage! i got my 2 degrees which can be taken into becoming a vet, which was my dream and still is but because i still struggle so bad with this damn language i havent gotten far at all. i cant study here as course is in dutch. It is so so hard to learn dutch, ive been struggling for 3 years trying to learn it and i still get told my dutch is just not high level for any animal job here. ive did every shitty job you can think of. It honestly hurts seeing my partner accomplish his dreams while im working at a crappy warehouse getting treated like sh*t. The dutch people are completely different to us britons, I still struggle with the culture from time to time. Now that it looks like my partner will pass his training he definitely wont consider moving to the UK now as he is set for life here in his home town, I used to be happy but now its taken its toll, the thrill of living in another country has gone and i just want to move back home, I havent even brought it up with him yet as it breaks my heart because i know what the outcome will be and because i still love him it hurts and when you're young and have been with someone for 4 years its not easy to just up and leave even if he isnt the one for now it feels like young love my mother would say. Im scared of leaving, being alone, having to start over! But I want to be something! i want to have a life a purpose a job i love doing! All i am here is my partners girlfriend. People are always asking me why did you move here? “Because my partner is dutch” I have nothing here really, i do but i dont, i hope you get what i mean haha, Moving back now i can still save my passion to work within the animal industry and get back on my feet again. I literally moved here for my partner without ever actually thinking it through i feel stupid 4 years later and im still here! and now with covid its even worse! Im sorry this message is a mess i just need a place to say my feelings and honestly you're all so kind! I really hope youre all doing well and are safe! its horrible times were dealing with its not easy for any of us! Im not sure what i will do but all i want to do is go back home and make a life for myself again but im scared to take the first leep, its like im comfortable here but im also not? Most of the time i feel like ive waisted 4 years living here and honestly i have because ive accomplished nothing and maybe i only have myself to blame for that but i just cant shake this mindset. It will be tough having to leave the person i honestly thought id spend the rest of my life with, i know im young to say that too but 4 years down the line were still doing great at this moment i cant imagine my life without my partner by my side but if that means living here for the rest of my life im screwed. I also worry about staying and separating in the near future but we never know what will happen. I defiantly dont want to be in my 30s ect moving back to the UK starting over with nothing at all, my animal degree by then would mean nothing too! It just hurts because my partners english is more than perfect, and with being around me and my family and Geordie friends he has picked up on different accents and slag words ext, Him living in the UK would work perfectly but he honestly has no interest in living there at all and it truly breaks my heart but i sacrificed so much for him at a young age too and he cant even consider doing the same for me? Is that even love? When i move back to the UK, it means i would of moved here for nothing as my relationship failed. I dont need a huge reply back or whatever i just wanted to express how i feel! I have no issues against holland! The goverment is a mess but that seems to be a issue in every country these days, but the nature here is beautiful! it is such a gorgeous country and ive truly enjoyed living here on some aspects but the UK is my home and it always will be. I just don't know how im going to tell my partner this is how im feeling, Im not sure when to bring it up neither, with covid i cant travel so i feel like telling him now could break things when i cant even leave yet, what do you think? Again im sorry for such a long post! Best wishes, R
You are young enough to change directions a few time over so please try not to worry so much about that.... your 22 and have had experience of life overseas which is a bonus in my "book of life skills" it's helped you know that you really want to be a vet so go for it, if you cannot study in Holland (not sure here but can you study with the Open University and stay with your boyfriend whilst doing that?) Talk to your boyfriend he may be more understanding of you wanting a career as a vet as he has worked hard for his career, you could look into starting university in the UK and travel back and forwards (when covid 19 is irradicated or contained hopefully soon) between the two countries. If you do have a chat and things do not go well for you then you know he's probably not the one for you and once again you have your whole life ahead of you, you sound to me like a very practical and level headed young lady (I don't mean that in a boring fuddy duddy way lol) and that certainly is no bad thing in this world. Good luck
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Old Jan 30th 2021, 8:41 pm
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

I just found this forum and this thread today and made an account because of reading through some of these responses made me want to contribute - because as of TODAY I just moved back to the UK after spending more than a decade in the US.

My story: Moved to the US from Scotland for Uni in 2008. Been there ever since. Mostly in San Francisco but also a few years in New York. Its been a wild ride but I can very much appreciate what many have said here. My ultimate issue is not that there is any 1 or 2 reasons to stay in the US (people have different priorities and desires), its that I constantly find expats NEEDING to come up with a few reasons. Its always finding reasons to stay, rather than the natural state of being to stay. Its a slight difference but i think is a really important distinction.

For me, my career kept me there. There are very few places in the world where you can become as sucessful as quickly as you can in the US. And the real kicker? Everyone around you really really really cares about money and progression too, fueling the cycle for staying and climbing the ladder. The secondary reason was that the weather was great (I've seen quite a few ex-Scottish folk on here so they certainly know what I mean). But while its a great benefit, the stress and feeling of alienation is not worth it for me.

SO I decided to leave two months ago, packed my things, sent off my letter abandoning my green card and when I got back to Scotland I was greeted with some nice snow. All I can say is that it will never be zero sum. You will give up some things, you will gain some things, but it will never truly even out. One thing that already feels better is...just that - the feeling of being back. I don't know how long that feeling will last, a day, a year, a lifetime, but until it goes away, I am certainly happier than I was yesterday.
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Old Jan 30th 2021, 10:31 pm
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Welcome to BE.

I can relate to much of what you have posted.
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Old Feb 2nd 2021, 6:04 am
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by CournalCrunch View Post
I just found this forum and this thread today and made an account because of reading through some of these responses made me want to contribute - because as of TODAY I just moved back to the UK after spending more than a decade in the US.

My story: Moved to the US from Scotland for Uni in 2008. Been there ever since. Mostly in San Francisco but also a few years in New York. Its been a wild ride but I can very much appreciate what many have said here. My ultimate issue is not that there is any 1 or 2 reasons to stay in the US (people have different priorities and desires), its that I constantly find expats NEEDING to come up with a few reasons. Its always finding reasons to stay, rather than the natural state of being to stay. Its a slight difference but i think is a really important distinction.

For me, my career kept me there. There are very few places in the world where you can become as sucessful as quickly as you can in the US. And the real kicker? Everyone around you really really really cares about money and progression too, fueling the cycle for staying and climbing the ladder. The secondary reason was that the weather was great (I've seen quite a few ex-Scottish folk on here so they certainly know what I mean). But while its a great benefit, the stress and feeling of alienation is not worth it for me.

SO I decided to leave two months ago, packed my things, sent off my letter abandoning my green card and when I got back to Scotland I was greeted with some nice snow. All I can say is that it will never be zero sum. You will give up some things, you will gain some things, but it will never truly even out. One thing that already feels better is...just that - the feeling of being back. I don't know how long that feeling will last, a day, a year, a lifetime, but until it goes away, I am certainly happier than I was yesterday.
Congratulations!!
I'm in SF. Shame I missed meeting you. I'm hoping to move back by 2022 but need to fix my finances. IF I get a promotion this year it will impact my US Pension so I'm hanging on for that, but it's tough at the moment. Hardly see or hear from anyone since lockdown.

Ed
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Old Feb 2nd 2021, 11:10 am
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by Streetlegal View Post
Congratulations!!
I'm in SF. Shame I missed meeting you. I'm hoping to move back by 2022 but need to fix my finances. IF I get a promotion this year it will impact my US Pension so I'm hanging on for that, but it's tough at the moment. Hardly see or hear from anyone since lockdown.

Ed
Would have been great to meet in SF - one of the issues is there seems no-one to connect with there!

I would have loved to be in the position where I had a year to prepare. I had to rush it and this caused a lot of anxiety. Please start preparing now - particularly the tax / residency implications of such a move. Not sure how long you have been there but if you have a good amount of equity/stock this can cause some issues when moving. Happy to help if you have questions (although I am not an accountant!)
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Old Feb 3rd 2021, 4:22 am
  #73  
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Cournal--one thing I have to decide is whether to become a citizen or not. I will be getting my pension and social security from the US--the vast bulk of my funds. I'm 56, hoping to retire when I'm 58.

Have you got a job in Scotland?

Ed
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Old Feb 3rd 2021, 2:12 pm
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

I assume you have been there long enough such that you will be subject to the Exit Tax on your departure? The reason I gave up my Permanent Residency (Green Card) was that I did not want to be subject to US taxes on my income moving forward. I am a bit younger so plan on working for a few years yet so I did not want additional complication. Yes I secured a job which allows me to work from Scotland starting in March.

I am unsure of the rules surrounding pension / SS and how that relates to residency/citizenship so unfortunately can't make any recommendations regarding that
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Old Feb 7th 2021, 2:41 pm
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Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

I’m happy to have found this thread. I have been lurking on this site for a few months, trying to gather as much information as possible (and getting confused).

I have lived away from the UK since 1992, first in the Caribbean and then Miami/ FL Keys from 1999. I was thinking of going home in 2003, but then I met my American husband and that was that! At least it was until he sadly passed away in April. Now I am actively trying to plan my return since I’m completely on my own here. I too, feel like my few friends here in the US are not super close, and Jake and I were joined at the hip relying mostly on each other. My brother’s heart attack in July has just added to the feeling that it’s time to go home. I’m 57 so not too far from retirement but wanting to continue working for a while, I have a house full of stuff and my husband’s business to sell, 7 family pets that I’m not prepared to re home, and finances to sort out (so confusing)... so although I know what I want to do, it won’t happen immediately and there are some challenges ahead. Not to mention the “what if’s” such as will I regret it, will I miss it, will I be bored, how will I slip back into family life after living away from the drama for so long. I’m happy to find like-minded souls to discuss this with, and especially value advice from “seasoned movers”.
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