Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Moving back or to the UK
Reload this Page >

Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Old Jul 11th 2020, 8:02 pm
  #46  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: May 2010
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 7,388
SanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by Streetlegal View Post
If I marry my partner in the US, can he come and live with me in the UK?

I am concerned about my future. I might be losing my hearing rapidly.
You, as the Brit, would need to sponsor him. There are f inancial requirements to be met:

Read the following document carefully to see how you would qualify

https://assets.publishing.service.go...ment-ext_1.pdf

Basically, you can use income, savings, pensions etc.
SanDiegogirl is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2020, 8:23 pm
  #47  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 31
Streetlegal is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Thanks SanDiegogirl!
Streetlegal is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2020, 11:20 pm
  #48  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Charleston, SC - Previously Edinburgh
Posts: 235
jenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by GOALFIRE View Post
Thanks for the feedback, did you live in Scotland during the Obama administration by chance or was it more to do with the good people of Scotland being more tolerant or polite compared to their neighbors in the south?
I was there from 2007, so yes, still during the Bush years. It could have been coincidence though - i.e. perhaps I just met some curmudgeons down south. I do know of some Americans in London who would claim to be Canadian in order to avoid the inevitable talk about politics, world events, etc. involving the US.
jenninedinburgh is offline  
Old Jul 11th 2020, 11:23 pm
  #49  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Charleston, SC - Previously Edinburgh
Posts: 235
jenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond reputejenninedinburgh has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by Streetlegal View Post
You sum up much of it so well, my feelings. I deal with students and I have to talk in code all the time. No joking, no humor, every little thing I do I feel I'm under the microscope in case I slip up. San Francisco. If I get through my medical emergency alive, I'm gone. I don't smile anymore.
I very much hope you do and that you smile again soon
jenninedinburgh is offline  
Old Jul 12th 2020, 1:18 am
  #50  
Concierge
 
spouse of scouse's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 15,645
spouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by Streetlegal View Post
You sum up much of it so well, my feelings. I deal with students and I have to talk in code all the time. No joking, no humor, every little thing I do I feel I'm under the microscope in case I slip up. San Francisco. If I get through my medical emergency alive, I'm gone. I don't smile anymore.
One day at a time mate. That's all you need to worry about getting through. Getting out of bed, having a shower and putting clean clothes on are huge achievements on their own when you're feeling so down.

Have any of your students ever sent you an email while they're - er - a bit incapacitated? Abby did, made me laugh


spouse of scouse is offline  
Old Jul 16th 2020, 9:34 pm
  #51  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 10
Ukoneday is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

A big fear of mine is if we don’t move home soon (my eldest is 11) then we will stay, they’ll finish school and go to american universities and see themselves as Americans and then I’m stuck if I want to live on the same continent as my kids. I can see myself being stranded here for the rest of my life[/QUOTE]

my fear 100%
my oldest is 6
prep school In the London area is hard to get into but with the pandemic they’ve had some drops and I’ve tutored my kids this whole time at home after I got made redundant to catch them up to uk kids ... now I’m getting cold feet. 12 years here with a 6 and 4 year old and an American husband and lovely (on paper) life. but I’m getting cold feet. Then I think about your point of having foreign kids and my head wants to explode.
Ukoneday is offline  
Old Jul 16th 2020, 10:30 pm
  #52  
SUPER MODERATOR
 
Jerseygirl's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 82,517
Jerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond reputeJerseygirl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

someone said these wise words to us ‘where ever they go to uni, they will probably stay there’. We didn’t listen but wished we had,
Jerseygirl is offline  
Old Jul 18th 2020, 5:28 am
  #53  
BE Forum Addict
 
freebo's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Sanctuary Cove, Gold Coast
Posts: 1,892
freebo has a reputation beyond reputefreebo has a reputation beyond reputefreebo has a reputation beyond reputefreebo has a reputation beyond reputefreebo has a reputation beyond reputefreebo has a reputation beyond reputefreebo has a reputation beyond reputefreebo has a reputation beyond reputefreebo has a reputation beyond reputefreebo has a reputation beyond reputefreebo has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

[QUOTE=durham_lad;12878866] All great fun but with lots of close relatives and friends we did a trial run and then moved back to a place we had lived before, and done a trial run staying there. /QUOTE]

Do you mind telling me how you planned your "trial run", I'm also a Durham Lad and considering doing something similar?

Cheers!
freebo is offline  
Old Jul 18th 2020, 7:56 am
  #54  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Eee Bah Gum
Posts: 2,579
durham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by freebo View Post

Do you mind telling me how you planned your "trial run", I'm also a Durham Lad and considering doing something similar?

Cheers!
The year after we retired we rented a house for 7 months in the town we had lived in and would want to move back to. We were careful not to fall afoul of residency rules by arriving in March and leaving early October plus we had a couple of trips to Europe to be sure our days in the UK were well below the 183 day tax year threshold. After we got back our bank wrote to us with an HMRC form to complete and return to show that we had not become tax resident. The letter stated that they are required to monitor things like ATM transactions and report to HMRC where needed.

We did not hire a car except for the first 2 weeks after arriving and relied on buses and trains. We furnished the house from 2nd hand shops, mostly charity shops, and gave it all back at the end, so it was like renting it but with the proceeds going to charity.

5 years later we did similar, rented a house and furnished it with the intention of keeping it on and spending winters in Texas, the rest of the year in England, but quickly decided to simply sell up and move back.

Last edited by durham_lad; Jul 18th 2020 at 7:59 am.
durham_lad is offline  
Old Jul 18th 2020, 2:54 pm
  #55  
 
Lion in Winter's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: City of Broad Shoulders
Posts: 55,357
Lion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by Streetlegal View Post
You sum up much of it so well, my feelings. I deal with students and I have to talk in code all the time. No joking, no humor, every little thing I do I feel I'm under the microscope in case I slip up. San Francisco. If I get through my medical emergency alive, I'm gone. I don't smile anymore.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Make a plan, execute the plan, even if it takes a while.

KBO.

Lion in Winter is offline  
Old Jul 21st 2020, 4:43 am
  #56  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 31
Streetlegal is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Social Security question:

If I retire before the age of 62, say at 57:

--is my social security calculation frozen so that it will be the same whether I take it at 62, 67 or 70?

Thanks
Ed
Streetlegal is offline  
Old Jul 21st 2020, 8:04 am
  #57  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Eee Bah Gum
Posts: 2,579
durham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond reputedurham_lad has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

Originally Posted by Streetlegal View Post
Social Security question:

If I retire before the age of 62, say at 57:

--is my social security calculation frozen so that it will be the same whether I take it at 62, 67 or 70?

Thanks
Ed
It continues to go up indexed by wage and inflation indices
durham_lad is offline  
Old Jul 22nd 2020, 4:59 am
  #58  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 21
Zeppo595 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

I've been feeling the same way

Obviously being locked down makes our lives in whatever country we are terrible.

Even in the UK now, we'd be locked down and unable to do anything.

But the longer time goes on, the harder is gets to move back. Making that decision and jumping is the tough part. The torture of in-between is also terrible. Once you're actually doing it, you're engaged with all the tasks required with the move. But then of course you have the BEING THERE part, the unknown quantity! Which I guess I romanticize from being an expat.

I do not think the UK is without it's misery inducing aspects but I guess that feeling of being a stranger in a strange land is exhausting. But then back in the UK, you're just another person and maybe we'll miss viewing ourselves as stranded aliens!

I think really it comes down to what's important. Being close to family is important and choosing a place to settle down is also vital. But you can always visit family and you might go back and realise you actually can't settle down where you want. It's a tough gamble, but the best thing to do is think long and hard about what you value in life and go with that NOT what other people tell you is best.

Where can you be most of value to those around you? I think it's harder in a foreign country and easy to find yourself hermetically sealed either in an expat bubble or even extreme isolation.

I haven't even visited the UK since 2017 and I feel tremendous guilt for not being part of various family members lives and basically following my own interests. Having said that, when I've been back the UK before I've gotten bored quickly. I realise I was addicted to the emotional ups and downs of being alone in a foreign country, having some crazy experiences, feeling like my life was a greek tragedy or whatever. I like to think I've grown out of all that now. And am ready to just have a stable life. But I don't know.
Zeppo595 is offline  
Old Jul 23rd 2020, 12:10 am
  #59  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 31
Streetlegal is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

I didn't even get my stimulus check yet. Imagine I was desperate. My partner got his straightaway. Riculous.
Streetlegal is offline  
Old Jul 26th 2020, 5:05 pm
  #60  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Nottingham, UK to Phoenix, US
Posts: 3
happy artist is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone

no you are not alone especially watching the US implode before my eyes....would love any suggestions on how to make that happen smoothly.

Thanks

Lisa
happy artist is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.