Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
#46
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2010
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 9,613
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
Read the following document carefully to see how you would qualify
https://assets.publishing.service.go...ment-ext_1.pdf
Basically, you can use income, savings, pensions etc.
#48
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Charleston, SC - Previously Edinburgh
Posts: 264
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
I was there from 2007, so yes, still during the Bush years. It could have been coincidence though - i.e. perhaps I just met some curmudgeons down south. I do know of some Americans in London who would claim to be Canadian in order to avoid the inevitable talk about politics, world events, etc. involving the US.
#49
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Charleston, SC - Previously Edinburgh
Posts: 264
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
You sum up much of it so well, my feelings. I deal with students and I have to talk in code all the time. No joking, no humor, every little thing I do I feel I'm under the microscope in case I slip up. San Francisco. If I get through my medical emergency alive, I'm gone. I don't smile anymore.
#50
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
You sum up much of it so well, my feelings. I deal with students and I have to talk in code all the time. No joking, no humor, every little thing I do I feel I'm under the microscope in case I slip up. San Francisco. If I get through my medical emergency alive, I'm gone. I don't smile anymore.
Have any of your students ever sent you an email while they're - er - a bit incapacitated? Abby did, made me laugh
#51
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2017
Location: DC/LA
Posts: 37
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
A big fear of mine is if we don’t move home soon (my eldest is 11) then we will stay, they’ll finish school and go to american universities and see themselves as Americans and then I’m stuck if I want to live on the same continent as my kids. I can see myself being stranded here for the rest of my life[/QUOTE]
my fear 100%
my oldest is 6
prep school In the London area is hard to get into but with the pandemic they’ve had some drops and I’ve tutored my kids this whole time at home after I got made redundant to catch them up to uk kids ... now I’m getting cold feet. 12 years here with a 6 and 4 year old and an American husband and lovely (on paper) life. but I’m getting cold feet. Then I think about your point of having foreign kids and my head wants to explode.
my fear 100%
my oldest is 6
prep school In the London area is hard to get into but with the pandemic they’ve had some drops and I’ve tutored my kids this whole time at home after I got made redundant to catch them up to uk kids ... now I’m getting cold feet. 12 years here with a 6 and 4 year old and an American husband and lovely (on paper) life. but I’m getting cold feet. Then I think about your point of having foreign kids and my head wants to explode.
#53
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
[QUOTE=durham_lad;12878866] All great fun but with lots of close relatives and friends we did a trial run and then moved back to a place we had lived before, and done a trial run staying there. /QUOTE]
Do you mind telling me how you planned your "trial run", I'm also a Durham Lad and considering doing something similar?
Cheers!
Do you mind telling me how you planned your "trial run", I'm also a Durham Lad and considering doing something similar?
Cheers!
#54
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Eee Bah Gum
Posts: 4,092
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
We did not hire a car except for the first 2 weeks after arriving and relied on buses and trains. We furnished the house from 2nd hand shops, mostly charity shops, and gave it all back at the end, so it was like renting it but with the proceeds going to charity.
5 years later we did similar, rented a house and furnished it with the intention of keeping it on and spending winters in Texas, the rest of the year in England, but quickly decided to simply sell up and move back.
Last edited by durham_lad; Jul 18th 2020 at 7:59 am.
#55
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
You sum up much of it so well, my feelings. I deal with students and I have to talk in code all the time. No joking, no humor, every little thing I do I feel I'm under the microscope in case I slip up. San Francisco. If I get through my medical emergency alive, I'm gone. I don't smile anymore.
KBO.
#56
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 74
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
Social Security question:
If I retire before the age of 62, say at 57:
--is my social security calculation frozen so that it will be the same whether I take it at 62, 67 or 70?
Thanks
Ed
If I retire before the age of 62, say at 57:
--is my social security calculation frozen so that it will be the same whether I take it at 62, 67 or 70?
Thanks
Ed
#57
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Eee Bah Gum
Posts: 4,092
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
It continues to go up indexed by wage and inflation indices
#58
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 35
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
I've been feeling the same way
Obviously being locked down makes our lives in whatever country we are terrible.
Even in the UK now, we'd be locked down and unable to do anything.
But the longer time goes on, the harder is gets to move back. Making that decision and jumping is the tough part. The torture of in-between is also terrible. Once you're actually doing it, you're engaged with all the tasks required with the move. But then of course you have the BEING THERE part, the unknown quantity! Which I guess I romanticize from being an expat.
I do not think the UK is without it's misery inducing aspects but I guess that feeling of being a stranger in a strange land is exhausting. But then back in the UK, you're just another person and maybe we'll miss viewing ourselves as stranded aliens!
I think really it comes down to what's important. Being close to family is important and choosing a place to settle down is also vital. But you can always visit family and you might go back and realise you actually can't settle down where you want. It's a tough gamble, but the best thing to do is think long and hard about what you value in life and go with that NOT what other people tell you is best.
Where can you be most of value to those around you? I think it's harder in a foreign country and easy to find yourself hermetically sealed either in an expat bubble or even extreme isolation.
I haven't even visited the UK since 2017 and I feel tremendous guilt for not being part of various family members lives and basically following my own interests. Having said that, when I've been back the UK before I've gotten bored quickly. I realise I was addicted to the emotional ups and downs of being alone in a foreign country, having some crazy experiences, feeling like my life was a greek tragedy or whatever. I like to think I've grown out of all that now. And am ready to just have a stable life. But I don't know.
Obviously being locked down makes our lives in whatever country we are terrible.
Even in the UK now, we'd be locked down and unable to do anything.
But the longer time goes on, the harder is gets to move back. Making that decision and jumping is the tough part. The torture of in-between is also terrible. Once you're actually doing it, you're engaged with all the tasks required with the move. But then of course you have the BEING THERE part, the unknown quantity! Which I guess I romanticize from being an expat.
I do not think the UK is without it's misery inducing aspects but I guess that feeling of being a stranger in a strange land is exhausting. But then back in the UK, you're just another person and maybe we'll miss viewing ourselves as stranded aliens!
I think really it comes down to what's important. Being close to family is important and choosing a place to settle down is also vital. But you can always visit family and you might go back and realise you actually can't settle down where you want. It's a tough gamble, but the best thing to do is think long and hard about what you value in life and go with that NOT what other people tell you is best.
Where can you be most of value to those around you? I think it's harder in a foreign country and easy to find yourself hermetically sealed either in an expat bubble or even extreme isolation.
I haven't even visited the UK since 2017 and I feel tremendous guilt for not being part of various family members lives and basically following my own interests. Having said that, when I've been back the UK before I've gotten bored quickly. I realise I was addicted to the emotional ups and downs of being alone in a foreign country, having some crazy experiences, feeling like my life was a greek tragedy or whatever. I like to think I've grown out of all that now. And am ready to just have a stable life. But I don't know.
#60
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Nottingham, UK to Phoenix, US
Posts: 3
Re: Wanting to move back - sounds like I'm not alone
no you are not alone especially watching the US implode before my eyes....would love any suggestions on how to make that happen smoothly.
Thanks
Lisa
Thanks
Lisa