Funky Monkey

O.K this may be long.

We came to Perth nearly one year ago, there is myself, wife and 2 boy's aged nearly 7 & 9. I have struggled from the start and have had the odd o.k week but it soon goes. My wife said she had settled but I think she was just getting on with it. I missed my old life and so did the wife. We had much more time in the U.K as people and as a family. We had a better standard of living and here I just work and the oh is struggling to find a job. We have no family here and she would be on very average wages so there are issues with childcare e.t.c.

So a wedding cropped up and we went to the U.K 4 weeks ago and loved every minute of it and saw it through different eyes.After 2 weeks I did see it through the old eyes again but could still live back there. I came back to Perth and think I feel better about it but I am still not happy with the work situation which is not going to get better in the near future but may in the longer term. I am already in what is considered a well paid job in construction and know that the money is no better anywhere else. I thought I would come back and know where I wanted to be but that is not so. My oh said she feels angry with it all as she felt pretty settled before we went back and is no not very happy here but we have only been back a week so is it too early? Btw my eldest son has never really liked it here and the youngest could settle either way.

The lease on the house is up on Feb 2010 and should we wait until then or get back as soon as if thats what we decide.

I know it is complex and probably too soon but I wanted to hear other peoples experiences especially those who moved back to the U.K after a reccie.

Thanks for reading

Madmac

We've been here three years (Canada) and I've gone through many periods of vacillating between not wanting to be here and liking it. We went back last year for 2 weeks and I thought I might find a strong attraction for going back. I didn't but then again I felt quite homesick when we returned to Canada.

That has since cleared up again which leaves me thinking that I've ended up in that unenviable state where I'm caught between two countries and not fully belonging to either. Iaink warned me about this a long time ago.

What all this rambling really means is that the situation is different for us all. If in 6 months time you find that you're still unhappy where you are then you should seriously consider a move back but please 'seriously consider' it.

Good luck.

Funky Monkey

Thanks for that. I see what you mean about not belonging in either place. I am also concerned about making the wrong decision as coming back would not be an option and this is our only chance. Thanks again.

Mummy in the foothills

If you are going to move back, do it slowly and methodically, get it right. You don't want to regret it.
I actually stopped going on trips to UK for a few years it made me too unsettled and I knew Dh wouldn't move till the older boys were out of school. But due to a death in the family I've been back twice in three years and now want to move home as much as I ever did. I don't hate life here, it's fine, I just don't want to live here forever and would like to return to work in UK as I loved working there, more than here.
If you are going, don't make the mistake of staying for many years and pining, it just makes the move harder and friends have moved on with their lives and you have to find a new place to slot into.

Madmac

I like Canada. Sometimes I don't like living here however. Go figure?

In my case I try to have a focus and something to aim for. For now it's the three year mark in August and the chance to apply for citizenship thereafter.

We also never said this was a forever move. That helps...slightly.

Apply whatever technique gets you through. Maybe the lure of citizenship will keep you focused?

Best wishes.

johnh009

We moving back from Canada this year. On the bright side, the pound is down 20% and there are some property bargains in the UK.

ukintexas

Am right there with you, and many others

ukintexas

Here's my sorry tale after a week at home!


http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=608340

Funky Monkey

I read through it all and feel exactly the same as yourself and Heljinder, what a nightmare it is.

I think we all want to make the right decision that is what makes it so hard. Keep us posted

The_English_Bride

From the description of how you feel, it sounds to me like going back to the UK would be good. It is a hard decision, and one that I haven't made yet. I will say that I think sometimes people stick it out too long. I think we have to realize that being back home won't necessarily be better - there are things back home that are not so great at times and whatever made you emigrate in the first place will probably still be there. But when you've lived somewhere else for a while it reminds you of all the good things about home, things you may not have in the new country that really make a difference. Like family, for instance.

If I move home, I know that life won't be perfect, I know that sometimes I'll want to run away somewhere exotic (that's what vacations are for!), and I know that I will face a new set of challenges bringing my USC husband with me, but I'll have my sunday roast with my parents, evenings out with my sister, and that feeling of belonging I've only ever experienced in the UK.

PoppetUK

I've just said something similar to my hubby. There will be things in either country we dislike but it will be how we approach it from the point me commit to where we are going to live.

Funky Monkey

I think you are right in what you say. I do think we sometimes stick it out for too long.
I am kind of doing that now, thinking just give it a little more time it may get better and it was a lot of hassle to get here so give it your best shot but really we all sometimes know we should go home. Also what you said about not liking the things that made us leave, that is also a small nag at the back of my mind and making me reluctant to return but the bad there is outweighing the good here.

slidingbyee

It occurred to me that people often think leaving or having left the UK is because of some dislike. I think the hardest category to be in is mine (Im sure I am not alone). Having left just for fun and adventure and now after 10/ 15 years considering returning to the UK. Supposing I have now matured, this also means that now I consider the move very carefully. I am now well and truly in that ‘no mans land’ between two countries. I think there is a tendency to avoid returning to the UK for visits I see other posts mention this. I am also going through yet another stage of not wanting o return for visits ( the last time I did this I did not return for 4 years and now regret) for fear of what I don’t really know.

The_English_Bride

I also didn't leave the UK to get away from any dislike. I came because I'm adventurous and thought it would be fun to live and study abroad for a while. But adventure is still a reason in itself that upon returning might affect you. Maybe you get that adventure bug again. But, I know what you mean - even the way I worded my response above could have come across that way. I guess i've read a lot of posts from people disliking stuff about the UK and that seems to be one of the things that worries people about moving back.

maka paka

I don't think you should stick it out for too long,we didn't and we are back and are happy.

It won't get any better out there...Think about it..Will it?? What is there to get better about??

Don't beat yourself up about getting back to Blighty,It's great, we've just had Wimbledon,the British open, and on to Halloween and bonfire night..then Christmas.

It never gets boring over here.

Cheers Maka Paka