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Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Old Mar 20th 2014, 6:19 pm
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Default Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Just looking for some feedback here on a couple of scenarios about returning to the UK from Chicagoland. Nothing can happen for the next 2 years at least as I am half way through my MBA and I’d like to complete that. So here is some background data:

Me – 41 grew up in North Wales, been in the US since 2002, US citizen, director of a manufacturing company, no kids no plans for any.

Wife – 36 grew up in Ohio, US citizen, veterinarian, ditto on children.

So even though I enjoy my job I enjoy my time off more (same for every job I guess) and I’ve always planned on retiring or semi retiring early, and by that I mean 55 at the latest. Now I don’t think I can ever do this in the US because of healthcare costs and being able to get coverage. Not sure if the Obamacare will change this or if it will be still around if I planned on using it. In all honesty though I don’t want to retire in the US. I definatley want to (semi)retire back in the UK.

A couple of facts that drive my decision:

1. I can save a lot more money living and working in the US than the UK, did some research on pay differences and it’s quite a lot, now money isn’t everything of course but still it needs to be considered.

2. I don’t hate it here, for the most part I enjoy it, but I know that it’s not home and that one day I’d like to go back.

3. I have 3 animals that are getting on, small terrier mix 12 yrs, two cats 14 and 13. I’d never give them up or fly them and to be honest even taking the dog on the QE2 might be a bad idea as he is dog aggressive (abused before we adopted him) so the kennel on the boat might be a bad idea and the possibility of having to turn the ship around before we even left the harbor and doing the walk of shame off the boat might be a bit embarrassing!

Now here is where I am in two minds as to the best thing to do:
Go back in about 3 years and continue my career in the UK, we’ve talked about Bristol area and I’d also be up for moving back to North Wales.
Keep working and saving until my early 50’s in the US and go back to semi(retire) in North Wales where any work I will do will only be to fill my time or cover basic day to day expenses. So I’d be able to live in places that don’t necessarily have a lot of work and somewhere that I’d really LOVE to retire too, like Anglesey or Beddgelert, Barmouth, Conway. Hard to know what I will feel like in 10 to 12 years but if I feel like working with my career I will do so because I want to not because I have financial obligations I need to meet.

So just using you all as a sounding board really as only I know how I feel but I am a bit torn. My wife is open to both ideas but tends to lean towards going sooner rather than later.

Feel free to give your 10 cents or pence worth!

Richard
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Old Mar 20th 2014, 11:35 pm
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Some thoughts on the pets. If you don't want to fly them or take them on the QE2 you are going to have to re-home them or have them put down, which will be traumatic for all concerned.

Why wouldn't you fly them? It can't be the expense. It is traumatic for them, but not as much as re-homing. I have a friend who left his cat in Canada and it pined for him and died.

We are taking two cats back in June. One is 20 years old and the other is 8. I'm expecting the 8 year old to come through without any lasting trauma. Less certain about the 20 year old, but despite her age, she doesn't have anything serious wrong with her, and it seems wrong to put her down.

Ask yourself if you are really prepared to leave your animals behind. If you are not, then it is a factor weighing for earlier return, because the older the animals the more difficult it will be.
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Old Mar 20th 2014, 11:38 pm
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

I don't know...your reasons for moving back don't sound all that strong, and will your wife like it?
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Old Mar 20th 2014, 11:55 pm
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Originally Posted by Sally Redux
I don't know...your reasons for moving back don't sound all that strong, and will your wife like it?
We met in the UK and she is well up for moving over there. In fact she is the one who would rather move as soon as we can and I'm the one dithering about timing.

Reason for moving back....to be home....strong too me but maybe I did not communicate that effectively in my post?
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Old Mar 20th 2014, 11:59 pm
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Originally Posted by z1565124
We met in the UK and she is well up for moving over there. In fact she is the one who would rather move as soon as we can and I'm the one dithering about timing.

Reason for moving back....to be home....strong too me but maybe I did not communicate that effectively in my post?
It didn't sound that strong in the original post.

I suppose the question mark over moving sooner is how easy it will be to find suitable employment. If you can do this, then might as well go for it
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Old Mar 21st 2014, 12:00 am
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Originally Posted by Editha
Some thoughts on the pets. If you don't want to fly them or take them on the QE2 you are going to have to re-home them or have them put down, which will be traumatic for all concerned.

Why wouldn't you fly them? It can't be the expense. It is traumatic for them, but not as much as re-homing. I have a friend who left his cat in Canada and it pined for him and died.

We are taking two cats back in June. One is 20 years old and the other is 8. I'm expecting the 8 year old to come through without any lasting trauma. Less certain about the 20 year old, but despite her age, she doesn't have anything serious wrong with her, and it seems wrong to put her down.

Ask yourself if you are really prepared to leave your animals behind. If you are not, then it is a factor weighing for earlier return, because the older the animals the more difficult it will be.
I was thinking about letting them live their lives out with us in the US, where in my post does it suggest we would put them down? I'd never even consider that, ever, ever, ever.

Why concerned about flying them at their age........ my wife is a vet, she follows up on clients who ship animals overseas. Some do great, some don't make it. I could not live with myself if the latter happened, I'd pay for a private ship if I had to so they can be with me the whole time as opposed to kennels.
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Old Mar 21st 2014, 1:19 am
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Well you say the cats are 13 and 14, so they will probably live for another five years minimum, but you talk about going home in 3 years. So reasonable assumption on my part that you were going to leave the pets.

I'd like to hear about the pets that don't make it. Lots of people on these forums take their pets abroad and I can't remember one who said the animal didn't survive the journey.
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Old Mar 21st 2014, 2:01 am
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

The horror stories on animals not making are either caused by airline fault or owner fault for covering up a health issue or sedating them without the airline being aware. If the animals are healthy then there is no reason to believe they would have an issue. Yes it will be a stressful experience, more so for the dog, but with a direct flight on a reputable airline then they should be okay. If they are still around in 3 years do you still plan to move or extend the time in the US? If 3 years is your deadline then do it now before they get older or have health issues.
I think you really have to listen to your heart and what it is telling you to do. yes there will be differences like may be less income, but money isn't everything. If you really want to go then get working on a plan. I am giving up my own home, brand new car, high paying job in the US to go back to living with my parents, having no car and no job. But my heart is telling me that I want to be home and my brain has been coming up with a plan to make it happen. Scared to fly my dog as she's an anxious mess but she will make it and we'll be starting our new life in May.
Good luck!
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Old Mar 21st 2014, 3:01 pm
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

I think if you have those feelings in your heart to return home do it now-I started feeling that way about 3 or four years ago and it was just a little tickle which has grown and grown until nothing here feels right. Happily I am now making plans to return home in September and I am so happy even though there is so much to be done. If you have the means to do it now, do. You don't know what your situation will be in two/three years-Good luck.
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Old Mar 21st 2014, 9:12 pm
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Thanks for the comments guys. Going back now would be a little foolish I think given I am half way through my MBA and though my credits will transfer to a UK institution the logistics of finishing it back there is a worry, plus its free here!

At that time as a few of you mentioned my animals will be 2 years older and I'm even less likely to put them through the move. So it looks like the animals lifespan will dictate when I return. So I'm looking more at the prospect of moving back later than earlier I think. Unless there is some way I can charter my own ship to carry us so the animals can be with us the whole time!

Again thanks for lending an ear and an opinion.
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Old Mar 21st 2014, 11:37 pm
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

I'm in much the same position.
Own business, early fifties, two cats.

First we're moving to the beach for a couple of years to really enjoy what is probably our remaining time in the US.
My business, one man, is successful, and by the time I'm 55 we can retire completely if we want. However I feel I'll still need to continue running it somehow from the UK as I enjoy the work and my interesting scientist clients.

The cats, doing well, but I think they're around 14/15 so we'll at least stay until they pass away, in as much comfort as possible. (I would have loved to take them to Scotland but that's selfish and would be stressful for them.)

When that happens we'll also be free to take extended trips around the USA, all the States etc..

Then we'll head back...reckon another four or five years here.
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Old Mar 22nd 2014, 12:17 am
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

If you stay until the cats die, you might find you are in the US for longer than a couple of years! Our cat Spud is 20 now and has been declared fit for travel.

She came with us from the UK 8 years ago, and has not adapted to the Canadian climate any more than I have. She was an outdoor cat in the UK, but decided to be an indoor cat in Alberta. We're hoping she will have a year or two being able to enjoy our garden in Devon.
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Old Mar 22nd 2014, 12:39 am
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Yeah we had one, Georgina, who lasted until 21 but I think Minnie and Felix are going downhill faster. I'll see how things are in a couple of years.
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Old Mar 22nd 2014, 4:52 am
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Originally Posted by z1565124
We met in the UK and she is well up for moving over there. In fact she is the one who would rather move as soon as we can and I'm the one dithering about timing. ....
She sounds like the mirror image of the oft-seen (on BE's USA forum) "British dreamer" who has "always dreamed of living in America". Does she really know that that living in the UK is what she wants for the next, say 40-50 years?
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Old Mar 22nd 2014, 2:01 pm
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Default Re: Using you all as sounding board if you don't mind?

Originally Posted by Pulaski
She sounds like the mirror image of the oft-seen (on BE's USA forum) "British dreamer" who has "always dreamed of living in America". Does she really know that that living in the UK is what she wants for the next, say 40-50 years?
Does anyone know what they want in 40 years? All I can do is try to paint the best picture, warts and all, of what challenges she will face:
  • Driving or not and that loss of independence if she does not drive which may be safer for the islands enhabitants.
  • Weather, though we are both done with Chicago weather so don't think this will be an issue.
  • Being a foreigner, which can suck.
  • Negative perception and stereotypes of Americans being voiced to her.
  • Work enviroment and drop considerable drop in pay if she has to work.

S0 we'll keep talking about it over the next couple of years, and we'll have a couple of trips back again and take it form there.
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