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-   -   Urgently need some sensible advice (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/urgently-need-some-sensible-advice-536749/)

Fleaflyfloflum May 15th 2008 1:28 pm

Urgently need some sensible advice
 
As if i havent already had enough emotional turmoil this week, I now have another whopper to deal with. I think my head is going to blow off! :blink:

I quit my job last week as i felt i could no longer work with my boss. Purely by coincidence the London office of our company need somoene up tere to do the same job i do here and were delighted when i emailed asking whether they would consder me. I have interview all set up and ready to fly beginning of June.
This afternoon i had a phone call from the director of the company in Australia. I wont reveal who he is, but he is a VERY influential man in this country. He wants me to write an email explaining what my differences were with my boss and said he was very sad i was leaving.
The boss i do not get on with did have the integrity to give London a good reference on my behalf.

I am feling very awkward and uncomfortable about the whole situation.
The truth is that the guy is incompetant with no previous experience in our industry and is a very bad communicator. I think the director has his suspicions and wants me to confirm it otherwise why is he asking me?
I dont want to come across as a corned woman looking for revenge as truly, i am not! I am happy to be going to London!!!
How do i deal with this in a diplomatic fashion without jeopardising the job in London?

Help! :unsure:

crystal23 May 15th 2008 2:06 pm

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 6354526)
As if i havent already had enough emotional turmoil this week, I now have another whopper to deal with. I think my head is going to blow off! :blink:

I quit my job last week as i felt i could no longer work with my boss. Purely by coincidence the London office of our company need somoene up tere to do the same job i do here and were delighted when i emailed asking whether they would consder me. I have interview all set up and ready to fly beginning of June.
This afternoon i had a phone call from the director of the company in Australia. I wont reveal who he is, but he is a VERY influential man in this country. He wants me to write an email explaining what my differences were with my boss and said he was very sad i was leaving.
The boss i do not get on with did have the integrity to give London a good reference on my behalf.

I am feling very awkward and uncomfortable about the whole situation.
The truth is that the guy is incompetant with no previous experience in our industry and is a very bad communicator. I think the director has his suspicions and wants me to confirm it otherwise why is he asking me?
I dont want to come across as a corned woman looking for revenge as truly, i am not! I am happy to be going to London!!!
How do i deal with this in a diplomatic fashion without jeopardising the job in London?

Help! :unsure:

Just say the guy is a knob:p That's sensible:lol:

OK seriously. Just from my experience of training peeps totally unsuitable for the job you are going have to tell the truth diplomatically but counter it with a positive. (Personally I'd rather see the back of incompetent morons but that is not the way business works).

So for example, you said he has no previous experience so you could say something like "I found that because XXX has limited experience in the role we were unable to work towards achieving a mutual satisfactory outcome in (whatever it was). However I do feel that with extra training and support, especially in such a new venture XXX will gain the relevant experience needed to carry out his role"

If he is a bad communicator say something like "XXX would gain confidence from learning some extra communication techniques which would benefit both customers and staff as I felt he was lacking in that area"

You must know some company buzzwords you can use too.

To be honest Flea, I know you want to let rip but just be dignified and show that you have a bit of finesse. You could say "Although XXX and I had our differences (and outline them) we did not let them impact on the other staff. You could mention that you were grateful for the experience of working for a new company but felt you had to move on. You don't need to say why you 'moved on' but this head boss doesn't sound stupid and will surely read between the lines.

Also, your old boss did give you a good reference and you just might need another one.

Personally I hate all this bullturd but that's business for you.

Not sure if this helps much, however I certainly think you should do the email:) Good luck:thumbup:

Dave_Was May 15th 2008 6:41 pm

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum (Post 6354526)
As if i havent already had enough emotional turmoil this week, I now have another whopper to deal with. I think my head is going to blow off! :blink:

I quit my job last week as i felt i could no longer work with my boss. Purely by coincidence the London office of our company need somoene up tere to do the same job i do here and were delighted when i emailed asking whether they would consder me. I have interview all set up and ready to fly beginning of June.
This afternoon i had a phone call from the director of the company in Australia. I wont reveal who he is, but he is a VERY influential man in this country. He wants me to write an email explaining what my differences were with my boss and said he was very sad i was leaving.
The boss i do not get on with did have the integrity to give London a good reference on my behalf.

I am feling very awkward and uncomfortable about the whole situation.
The truth is that the guy is incompetant with no previous experience in our industry and is a very bad communicator. I think the director has his suspicions and wants me to confirm it otherwise why is he asking me?
I dont want to come across as a corned woman looking for revenge as truly, i am not! I am happy to be going to London!!!
How do i deal with this in a diplomatic fashion without jeopardising the job in London?

Help! :unsure:

I would just try and give him a call back and really explain the situation, but in a little watered down fashion.

If you can avoid putting it into writing. A friendly call with the director may just be the ticket and really explain that it's not the company, etc, but just a difference in opinion on how things are done, etc.

It's one of those situations that you want to be given a full crack at the new opportunity without the old boss trying to mess things up.

Good luck!

Dave_Was May 15th 2008 6:45 pm

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 

Originally Posted by crystal23 (Post 6354794)
Just say the guy is a knob:p That's sensible:lol:

OK seriously. Just from my experience of training peeps totally unsuitable for the job you are going have to tell the truth diplomatically but counter it with a positive. (Personally I'd rather see the back of incompetent morons but that is not the way business works).

So for example, you said he has no previous experience so you could say something like "I found that because XXX has limited experience in the role we were unable to work towards achieving a mutual satisfactory outcome in (whatever it was). However I do feel that with extra training and support, especially in such a new venture XXX will gain the relevant experience needed to carry out his role"

If he is a bad communicator say something like "XXX would gain confidence from learning some extra communication techniques which would benefit both customers and staff as I felt he was lacking in that area"

You must know some company buzzwords you can use too.

To be honest Flea, I know you want to let rip but just be dignified and show that you have a bit of finesse. You could say "Although XXX and I had our differences (and outline them) we did not let them impact on the other staff. You could mention that you were grateful for the experience of working for a new company but felt you had to move on. You don't need to say why you 'moved on' but this head boss doesn't sound stupid and will surely read between the lines.

Also, your old boss did give you a good reference and you just might need another one.

Personally I hate all this bullturd but that's business for you.

Not sure if this helps much, however I certainly think you should do the email:) Good luck:thumbup:

crystal23,

A very interesting response. I think that I'm probably one of those people that are more at the coal face and don't really have to deal with personel, training or HR. In fact, I think that the last time I dealt with HR was when I got this job.

At first glance on the example you gave was it was management/buzzword speak. However, on second reading it's actually quite good. If I could get away from just doing design work all the time, I might be able to spend more time with management and HR and get an appreciation for the 'other side'.

Thanks.

auntie_wolf May 15th 2008 7:29 pm

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 
I think I would write a letter, being diplomatic but honest. However, I would wait until after I was done interviewing, maybe even until after I had been offered/accepted, for the new position.

Fleaflyfloflum May 16th 2008 8:42 am

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 

Originally Posted by crystal23 (Post 6354794)
Just say the guy is a knob:p That's sensible:lol:

OK seriously. Just from my experience of training peeps totally unsuitable for the job you are going have to tell the truth diplomatically but counter it with a positive. (Personally I'd rather see the back of incompetent morons but that is not the way business works).

So for example, you said he has no previous experience so you could say something like "I found that because XXX has limited experience in the role we were unable to work towards achieving a mutual satisfactory outcome in (whatever it was). However I do feel that with extra training and support, especially in such a new venture XXX will gain the relevant experience needed to carry out his role"

If he is a bad communicator say something like "XXX would gain confidence from learning some extra communication techniques which would benefit both customers and staff as I felt he was lacking in that area"

You must know some company buzzwords you can use too.

To be honest Flea, I know you want to let rip but just be dignified and show that you have a bit of finesse. You could say "Although XXX and I had our differences (and outline them) we did not let them impact on the other staff. You could mention that you were grateful for the experience of working for a new company but felt you had to move on. You don't need to say why you 'moved on' but this head boss doesn't sound stupid and will surely read between the lines.

Also, your old boss did give you a good reference and you just might need another one.

Personally I hate all this bullturd but that's business for you.

Not sure if this helps much, however I certainly think you should do the email:) Good luck:thumbup:

Thankyou very much Crystal. You post was most helpful. I am not thinking too clearly at the moment and it helped me do it.
Thanks to all of you for your help.

I have done it. Not happy about doing it, but if the top man asks you dont really have a choice do you? I tried to keep things very generalised and not too personal.
Ended it on a high saying i felt he could do a good job with a bit of traiing and skills enhancement.

Phewww... just get me outta here! I am soooooooo over it all. :blink:

Cassie 10000 May 16th 2008 3:10 pm

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 
Hello

I would have to say something if I was you.

Write all the problems that you had so you don't forget anything and be very professional about the matter. Just think that you might make the situation better for the next person who comes along.

You never know the other bosses might not like this person either and could be looking for a reason to let him go if he has caused problems in the past.

Good luck with what you decide. I had a boss that used to pick on me and it is just not nice and there is no need for it, I complained. It did resolve the matter slightly.

Danny B May 17th 2008 3:42 am

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 
Just be honest..

Nu-Shooz May 17th 2008 3:56 am

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 
Tell all, only after you get the newjob offer!!

mattmc May 17th 2008 5:33 am

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 

Originally Posted by Nu-Shooz (Post 6361297)
Tell all, only after you get the newjob offer!!

As a previous poster says, avoid putting anything down in writing if you can help it. What may seem justified now when emotions are running high can look very different over time. Send him an email or call him requesting a one to one and spill all verbally. If he is serious about knowing why you have quit and he wants to do something about it he will understand and accept your request.
If he doesn't then I would suggest if it is not keeping you awake at night move on and let it go.
Just my thoughts and good luck with you decision

(I bet you regret asking now ;):) )

alentejo joe May 17th 2008 5:28 pm

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 
your unbelivable ,maybe become an actress:thumbsup:

Fleaflyfloflum May 17th 2008 8:24 pm

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 

Originally Posted by alentejo joe (Post 6363253)
your unbelivable ,maybe become an actress:thumbsup:

If you truly believe I would waste my time coming onto an internet forum to make up stories to tell to invisible people I do not know, for no benefit to myself whatsoever, then it is YOU that has "issues".

You are not very well

jimmyd4006 May 18th 2008 3:04 am

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 

Originally Posted by alentejo joe (Post 6363253)
your unbelivable ,maybe become an actress:thumbsup:

Hi Flea, do you think this moron might be your old boss :rofl: this is the second negative post I have read that he/she has placed about you...stalker !!!

NedKelly May 18th 2008 4:03 am

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 
Have you ever thought that the problem may not be with your boss but with you?

Anyway, I don't know what you are complaining about, you knew you were going to leave for London before you took the job. You deceived your employer about your intentions in the first place and now you have the audacity to slag off your boss saying he is incompetent, etc.

Fleaflyfloflum May 18th 2008 6:26 am

Re: Urgently need some sensible advice
 

Originally Posted by jimmyd4006 (Post 6364179)
Hi Flea, do you think this moron might be your old boss :rofl: this is the second negative post I have read that he/she has placed about you...stalker !!!

Now there's a thought! :lol:

It is just a regular member who has various aliases created a long time ago knowing they will be doing this sort of thing.
Please note that very often when you get these trolls in here they have joining dates a couple of years old but not many posts. It is probably one maybe two sick individuals with various IDs.
But hey, every forum has them I guess. Best just to feel sorry for them.


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