British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   Moving back or to the UK (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/)
-   -   Update after being back to UK (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/update-after-being-back-uk-475912/)

sandrainaus Aug 21st 2007 3:10 pm

Update after being back to UK
 
Hi all

We was making plans to go home after OH came back from the UK, as his his Grandad died, we was going to leave in Aug, OH had a fantastic job offer from his old company.

But

As we would not have been able to leave here until Aug, we would have been in OZ for 18/19 months, and my nan bless her said we would be mad not to get the Cit-ship as things might change for us in the future, so here we are after long chats and lot's of tears we are now staying until next year..

The decision has been hard for OH as his Dad has prostate cancer which had spread to the lymph glands and has now reached his hip bone:( :( but his dad has said he does not want us to come back. (so still finding this difficult to deal with)

OH old company have said they are prepared to wait until next year for him, so he still has the great job offer (director of his own office) and they are happy for him to open the office in the location of his choice (within the Suffolk area).
The Guy renting our house in Surrey wants it until feb/March then we will put it up for sale.

So I went home in June for 3 weeks to see my family and friends, and it was great, fantastic, I felt alive and I loved every minute of being there. nothing has changed since I left,other than me.
We was lucky we had some really good weather (missed all the floods)

I noticed my mum and dad had aged quite a bit which I found really hard to deal with:( my dad looks so gaunt it was hard not to cry:(
But the boys had a great time, they were both so different, it was as though someone had turned on a switch and they just loved all the attention and having lot's of cuddles and loads of fun with all their cousins etc, then it all came to a end and leaving my family was just heartbreaking.

I did not realise just how much I missed home. I don't hate Perth, I think it is a great place, and feel lucky we have had the opportunity to experience living here, but I have been homesick from the day I arrived, and for the foreseeable future I would like my children to be around their family.

So this is us at the moment.

I am still having lot's of wobbly days, I am just trying and stay positive, and enjoy the time I have and try to do and see much as possible.

Sandra x

Danny B Aug 21st 2007 3:30 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 
God what a horrible decision to make, your Husband sounds like a very brave man.

No doubt JAJ will be along later to tell you it was the right decision as who knows how you will both feel in 10yrs time.

Good luck

FiP Aug 21st 2007 4:31 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 

Originally Posted by sandrainaus (Post 5219720)
Hi all

We was making plans to go home after OH came back from the UK, as his his Grandad died, we was going to leave in Aug, OH had a fantastic job offer from his old company.

But

As we would not have been able to leave here until Aug, we would have been in OZ for 18/19 months, and my nan bless her said we would be mad not to get the Cit-ship as things might change for us in the future, so here we are after long chats and lot's of tears we are now staying until next year..

The decision has been hard for OH as his Dad has prostate cancer which had spread to the lymph glands and has now reached his hip bone:( :( but his dad has said he does not want us to come back. (so still finding this difficult to deal with)

OH old company have said they are prepared to wait until next year for him, so he still has the great job offer (director of his own office) and they are happy for him to open the office in the location of his choice (within the Suffolk area).
The Guy renting our house in Surrey wants it until feb/March then we will put it up for sale.

So I went home in June for 3 weeks to see my family and friends, and it was great, fantastic, I felt alive and I loved every minute of being there. nothing has changed since I left,other than me.
We was lucky we had some really good weather (missed all the floods)

I noticed my mum and dad had aged quite a bit which I found really hard to deal with:( my dad looks so gaunt it was hard not to cry:(
But the boys had a great time, they were both so different, it was as though someone had turned on a switch and they just loved all the attention and having lot's of cuddles and loads of fun with all their cousins etc, then it all came to a end and leaving my family was just heartbreaking.

I did not realise just how much I missed home. I don't hate Perth, I think it is a great place, and feel lucky we have had the opportunity to experience living here, but I have been homesick from the day I arrived, and for the foreseeable future I would like my children to be around their family.

So this is us at the moment.

I am still having lot's of wobbly days, I am just trying and stay positive, and enjoy the time I have and try to do and see much as possible.

Sandra x

I just read your post with a tear in my eye.

I am feeling homesick after being in Adalaide for 4 months now.
I am trying to stick it out but I am very aware my parents are getting older and their health is not so good and even though I know we are probably doing the right thing by staying here to get citizenship for the future, I still wonder if this was the right time to leave my parents in the UK when maybe I should be with them a little more at their time of life.

I don't dislike it here, I just miss 'home' and home is still in the UK for me.

Kath & Graham Aug 21st 2007 7:40 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 
Hi Sandra, was wondering how you got on back in UK. I know what you mean about seeing parents getting older etc:( felt the same when I had to go back for my Mums funeral earlier this year.

We have sold the house (fingers crossed) and are heading back in November, I really want to go home but am up and down at the moment due to eldest not coming back, it tear at the heart strings doesnt it? Wish she was a lot younger and didnt have a choice, but its her choice, still very hard, yesterday I was all set for staying in a rental for another year and getting her set up as we only have about 8 weeks:eek::eek: to do it all, but I feel selfish as she wans to stay and go to Uni here.

I hope things work out well for you, keep strong, time does fly by and it will be next year soon, so you will be making plans very soon.

Good luck with it all, sorry to hear about your FIL I hope he stays well for you all to return to spend time with him.

Kath

shade8 Aug 21st 2007 7:45 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 
I think when we all plan to move over to OZ we don't think of our parents ageing and getting sick but like you my dad has got bowel cancer thankfully seems to be coping quiet well and should recover.But still it makes it very hard living over here.I am flying back for 3 weeks soon with my youngest.

Perth is lovely I have been here 9 years but looking back now even though we have loved every minute I don't think it was worth the kids not having extended family.
Good luck.

PLANTS Aug 22nd 2007 1:50 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 
Oh I so know how you all feel. We are going back but my married daughter is pregnant and expecting it in December which really tears me apart knowing I wont be here so I made the decision to get a return ticket coming back in late December so I can see the new baby and happy parents too but my daughter doesn't want me to come back to Perth so soon, wants me to settle in UK before a trip back which I can understand. So at the moment I go through days of not knowing what to do, I want to go back to England to live and get out of this depression that has become worse over the years of being here in Perth but on the other hand..... She is married to an Australian so the chances of them going back to UK are slim to none. I hate the situation I am in.

My lovely hubbie wants to return and so does our 14 year old son too, which surprised us both, and so do I. I want to feel alive again and know thats the way I feel over there with family support and all the things I love and fill my soul.

I too feel so selfish in my decision but as hubbie has said, you have to do whats right for us not them, even though we love them.

Sandra: hope your FIL gets better.

Di




Originally Posted by Kath & Graham (Post 5220310)
Hi Sandra, was wondering how you got on back in UK. I know what you mean about seeing parents getting older etc:( felt the same when I had to go back for my Mums funeral earlier this year.

We have sold the house (fingers crossed) and are heading back in November, I really want to go home but am up and down at the moment due to eldest not coming back, it tear at the heart strings doesnt it? Wish she was a lot younger and didnt have a choice, but its her choice, still very hard, yesterday I was all set for staying in a rental for another year and getting her set up as we only have about 8 weeks:eek::eek: to do it all, but I feel selfish as she wans to stay and go to Uni here.

I hope things work out well for you, keep strong, time does fly by and it will be next year soon, so you will be making plans very soon.

Good luck with it all, sorry to hear about your FIL I hope he stays well for you all to return to spend time with him.

Kath


Kath & Graham Aug 22nd 2007 8:58 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 
Sending you karma Di its hard being a Mum:(

BAY Aug 23rd 2007 11:13 am

Re: Update after being back to UK
 

Originally Posted by sandrainaus (Post 5219720)
Hi all

We was making plans to go home after OH came back from the UK, as his his Grandad died, we was going to leave in Aug, OH had a fantastic job offer from his old company.

But

As we would not have been able to leave here until Aug, we would have been in OZ for 18/19 months, and my nan bless her said we would be mad not to get the Cit-ship as things might change for us in the future, so here we are after long chats and lot's of tears we are now staying until next year..

The decision has been hard for OH as his Dad has prostate cancer which had spread to the lymph glands and has now reached his hip bone:( :( but his dad has said he does not want us to come back. (so still finding this difficult to deal with)

OH old company have said they are prepared to wait until next year for him, so he still has the great job offer (director of his own office) and they are happy for him to open the office in the location of his choice (within the Suffolk area).
The Guy renting our house in Surrey wants it until feb/March then we will put it up for sale.

So I went home in June for 3 weeks to see my family and friends, and it was great, fantastic, I felt alive and I loved every minute of being there. nothing has changed since I left,other than me.
We was lucky we had some really good weather (missed all the floods)

I noticed my mum and dad had aged quite a bit which I found really hard to deal with:( my dad looks so gaunt it was hard not to cry:(
But the boys had a great time, they were both so different, it was as though someone had turned on a switch and they just loved all the attention and having lot's of cuddles and loads of fun with all their cousins etc, then it all came to a end and leaving my family was just heartbreaking.

I did not realise just how much I missed home. I don't hate Perth, I think it is a great place, and feel lucky we have had the opportunity to experience living here, but I have been homesick from the day I arrived, and for the foreseeable future I would like my children to be around their family.

So this is us at the moment.

I am still having lot's of wobbly days, I am just trying and stay positive, and enjoy the time I have and try to do and see much as possible.

Sandra x

It's 'We were' not 'We was' :)

sandrainaus Aug 23rd 2007 12:01 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 

Originally Posted by BAY (Post 5228064)
It's 'We were' not 'We was' :)



Don't be such an arse:curse:
do you have nothing better to do than pick up on my mistakes?

sandrainaus Aug 23rd 2007 1:01 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 

Originally Posted by FiP (Post 5219880)
I just read your post with a tear in my eye.

I am feeling homesick after being in Adalaide for 4 months now.
I am trying to stick it out but I am very aware my parents are getting older and their health is not so good and even though I know we are probably doing the right thing by staying here to get citizenship for the future, I still wonder if this was the right time to leave my parents in the UK when maybe I should be with them a little more at their time of life.

I don't dislike it here, I just miss 'home' and home is still in the UK for me.


It is really a hard decision to make, I know how you feel:( maybe see if you can get a holiday home after Christmas, it might help you.




Originally Posted by Kath & Graham (Post 5220310)
Hi Sandra, was wondering how you got on back in UK. I know what you mean about seeing parents getting older etc:( felt the same when I had to go back for my Mums funeral earlier this year.

We have sold the house (fingers crossed) and are heading back in November, I really want to go home but am up and down at the moment due to eldest not coming back, it tear at the heart strings doesnt it? Wish she was a lot younger and didnt have a choice, but its her choice, still very hard, yesterday I was all set for staying in a rental for another year and getting her set up as we only have about 8 weeks:eek::eek: to do it all, but I feel selfish as she wans to stay and go to Uni here.

I hope things work out well for you, keep strong, time does fly by and it will be next year soon, so you will be making plans very soon.

Good luck with it all, sorry to hear about your FIL I hope he stays well for you all to return to spend time with him.

Kath


Hi Kath

Thanks, and congratulations on the house sale, hope all goes well for you.

I hope your daughter does change her mind, although I would not push her, just help her, and you might find that when reality sets in, and that she is going to be here all alone, she might just change her mind:unsure:

We hope to have our interview in March, then after that who knows how long we will have to wait, unless we can get a private one.





Originally Posted by shade8 (Post 5220321)
I think when we all plan to move over to OZ we don't think of our parents ageing and getting sick but like you my dad has got bowel cancer thankfully seems to be coping quiet well and should recover.But still it makes it very hard living over here.I am flying back for 3 weeks soon with my youngest.

Perth is lovely I have been here 9 years but looking back now even though we have loved every minute I don't think it was worth the kids not having extended family.
Good luck.

Thanks Shade

I found it really hard seeing my parents after 17 months,(we don't have web cam) so I have not seen them since the day I left, the change in them was really noticable :(

with regards to my FIL he had a Kidney transplant 10 yrs ago, and they were worried about doing the radiotherapy all in one go rather than 5 or 6 sessions, but he called last night and said they done it, now he has to wait 6 weeks to see if it has killed all the cells, so we are keeping all fingers crossed.
But so I understand once it is in the bones then thats it:(

I hope you dad gets better soon:wub: and enjoy your holiday.

Sandrax


Originally Posted by PLANTS (Post 5223971)
Oh I so know how you all feel. We are going back but my married daughter is pregnant and expecting it in December which really tears me apart knowing I wont be here so I made the decision to get a return ticket coming back in late December so I can see the new baby and happy parents too but my daughter doesn't want me to come back to Perth so soon, wants me to settle in UK before a trip back which I can understand. So at the moment I go through days of not knowing what to do, I want to go back to England to live and get out of this depression that has become worse over the years of being here in Perth but on the other hand..... She is married to an Australian so the chances of them going back to UK are slim to none. I hate the situation I am in.

My lovely hubbie wants to return and so does our 14 year old son too, which surprised us both, and so do I. I want to feel alive again and know thats the way I feel over there with family support and all the things I love and fill my soul.

I too feel so selfish in my decision but as hubbie has said, you have to do whats right for us not them, even though we love them.

Sandra: hope your FIL gets better.

Di

Thanks Di,

I am sure you will be so happy back in the UK, the 3 weeks I was back I felt so alive, like all the colour came rushing back and I no longer felt drained it was great.

I don't know how hard it must be for you leaving you daughter, but I sort off have a idea from what my mum has said to me:( how she feels not having us around.
Fingers crossed your SIL might want to give the UK a try in the near future


Sandra XXX

Danny B Aug 23rd 2007 4:13 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 

Originally Posted by BAY (Post 5228064)
It's 'We were' not 'We was' :)

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/war...grammarian.htm

sandrainaus Aug 23rd 2007 6:36 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 

Originally Posted by Danny B (Post 5228727)



Thanks Danny;)

Pleased to see you have settled and are enjoying Canada:)

DebiE Aug 31st 2007 2:07 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 

Originally Posted by sandrainaus (Post 5219720)
As we would not have been able to leave here until Aug, we would have been in OZ for 18/19 months, and my nan bless her said we would be mad not to get the Cit-ship as things might change for us in the future, so here we are after long chats and lot's of tears we are now staying until next year..

Hi, we wanted to do the same, but we've been told it takes 4 years to get c'ship (don't know if I can wait that long).

I know the immigration rules changed last year, so maybe we missed the cut off date...we arrived in Oz Jan this year.

JAJ Aug 31st 2007 3:22 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 

Originally Posted by DebiE (Post 5259203)
Hi, we wanted to do the same, but we've been told it takes 4 years to get c'ship (don't know if I can wait that long).

I know the immigration rules changed last year, so maybe we missed the cut off date...we arrived in Oz Jan this year.

If you arrived in as permanent residents in January this year the 2 year rule still applies (until 30 June 2010)

DebiE Aug 31st 2007 4:57 pm

Re: Update after being back to UK
 

Originally Posted by JAJ (Post 5259327)
If you arrived in as permanent residents in January this year the 2 year rule still applies (until 30 June 2010)


Hi, jaj

Thanks for the reply...I guess we've missed the boat. We arrived on a 4 year business visa in Jan this year...still waiting to apply for PR.:zzz:


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