Originally Posted by jaxx

I too returned to the UK after living in Australia. Although I have settled back well and am happy to be back on my homeland, I do still get the odd pang when I think about the sheer bloody hard work it took just to get there, only to turn round and give it all up. I usually feel like this when things aren't going so well here, but mainly it's human nature!! Despite those thoughts, I am adamant I will always remain positive and happy with the decision I have made.

I have pingponged to Australia and back twice. It was my choice to come home on both occasions and for many good reasons. The first time I lived there, I can remember feeling terribly home sick and that feeling never left me. However, after being back in the UK for a while I chose to ignore how I'd felt out there and for some mad reason decided to give it another shot, afterall, maybe my feelings would change and I'd really like it this time. However, as soon as I went back all those negative feelings came flooding back, only this time they were much worse. My immediate thoughts were 'what the hell have I done'. This time, however, I kept a diary, and I only have to browse through it to remember how terribly isolated and restless I felt being so far away from family and dear friends and that horrible sense of detachment I felt from the place. I finally realised I would never belong there.

Unfortunately, a number of us kid ourselves and are convinced that life was not so bad afterall, despite the fact that we may have hated our time there. Well if it was that great then why would we put ourselves through such upheaval and expense to get back home. When reading my diary, I realise my time there was one of the loneliest periods of my life, despite having my wonderfully supportive husband and children with me.

I don't regret trying to start a life Australia, but I DO regret the fact that I did it twice. I have dragged my children backwards and forwards and my husband gave up a good career here which he is having difficulty getting back into. I have had to push aside all the guilt I feel.

My only advice to you is that you give yourselves time to settle back in the UK. Both places are so very different and there are good and bad in each so you are bound to feel indecisive at times. Stand by your decision and go forwards with it. Spending so much time wondering what might have been is a waste of energy and will in the end leave you with a depression and a sense of not belonging in either place.

I hope I have helped you in some way. I wish you all the very best and hope you find peace and happiness along the way.

jxx

Originally Posted by sfr09

Hi and thanks to everyone , I feel much more positive today took dog for long walk in the snow which she loved and it looked so pretty, that is something could never have done in Sydney.

I wasnt really unhappy in Australia and had a good lifestyle there so I have no regrets about the time there , I always thought one day would come back but I probably did have the rose tinted glasses on a bit as I definatly had forgotton the bad bits about living here . In Australia I really missed being with family and never having anyone around for the important occasions to celebrate with and although lots of friends and family came to visit in the beginning it all dried up eventually as parents aged. Now I am here its great to go shopping with my mum and and see my sister every week.

I mostly miss friends and the easy lifestyle that you have over there where we knew lots of other families and spent time with them . Here we dont do any of that and so far and this is my experience only it is harder to meet people . 20ys is a long time away so its like starting again which takes alot of energy .

You are right though its now that counts no point constantly looking back have to make the most of it , the thought of doing all that move again so soon fills me with horror!!

Originally Posted by dunroving

Your two sentences in bold describe almost exactly my experiences too - except that for me, it was the two times I returned to the UK.

Originally Posted by jaxx

Oh dunroving, I hope you are back where you wanna be now! we are all unique thank god and looking for different things in our lives. I wish you well wherever you are living your life right now, but most of all be happy wherever you are!!

jaxx

Originally Posted by dunroving

That's another good reason to give it more time - even if you decide to go back, it takes a while to recover the energy needed for the re-move ...

Originally Posted by sfr09

We have been back in the Uk now for four months after 20yrs living in Sydney and a few years before that in Middle east. I am finding it really hard and feel disappointed mainly with myself that its not quite what I expected. I read peoples stories and it seems many are really happy they came back and no regrets at all. I was hoping to be like that too but the reality is its not. I really miss my old life and I am finding life here so different. I always had the feeling whilst we were away that I would come back here one day and as all my family are here that was the main reason behind the decision.

We have bought a house here (probably not a wise decision) and trying to get to know the local community and currently looking for jobs. Our son has settled in school but misses his friends and the easygoing lifestyle he had. I maintained contacts over the years and came back frequently for holidays .

I cant quite say why its not working just feeling like out of odds and displaced!!! I dont wish to offend anyone who loves being back but I am really interested to know if others have felt like this initially and how long or what made you feel settled. Lots of people did think we were mad to leave both here and in Australia and with the benefit of hindsight I understand now. Maybe its the time factor after all 20yrs is a long time away

Anyway I thought i would be brave and share my experience any thoughts welcome

Originally Posted by dewdrop

I feel the same way, we moved here aug 09 from ontario canada (after 30+yrs) and its still hard for us..we sold our house and moved over...which wasnt' a last minute thing, it was well thought off for years. but still feeling unsettled...maybe once we've got the house and jobs found it will feel alot better. ho hum.

Originally Posted by fsm

Since I left July 1999, I have been back in the UK 5 times, Dec 01, Dec 03, May 07, Oct 07, Dec 09

I guess follow you heart, give it time if in say two years you still wish you where somewhere else then maybe it would be time to move on.

Originally Posted by jaxx

Christ!! it must have cost you a fortune, not to mention how you dealt with it emotionally. Hats off to you.., you probably raised a few eyebrows but then who cares you've had the guts to act on your instincts everytime!! well done

jaxx

Originally Posted by dunroving

Well, I think they were just visits home, but for a split second I thought he meant he moved back home 5 times in 10 years - surely not??? That would be some kind of record even for here!!