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Two months is enough, I want to go home

Two months is enough, I want to go home

Old Jun 19th 2006, 3:05 am
  #31  
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

It's not much warmer this side of the Tasman today (I'm sat here with a vest, long sleeved T, jumper and a scarf on, wishing I'd brought my hat to work ). But you can learn a lot from the locals - at least in Sydney, people use shopping centres, museums etc as places to either warm up or cool down (depending on the season). Obviously depends on how easy it is for you to get out, but it can be worth it.

The first few months are hard. It gets easier! Give yourself time. And congratulate yourself that you've made it this far! It's more than most.

Originally Posted by cathyc
I couldn't agree more and I AM trying to make the most of it. But it's a lot harder than I ever expected it to be. It is absolutely freezing today and I would give anything for a gas fired central heating system
Most of the Kiwis I speak to think that central heating would be a waste of money but those who have been abroad or travelled around a bit agree with me when I say we need it here. I am so worried that the kids will come down with a chest infection from the dampness so I have the heater on in their room (they are in the same room because it's cheaper to heat just the one) but I find it difficult to get their clothes dry.

Right now I'm looking at my windows, they are all steamed up and condensation is running down them. I'd like to open them up & get some fresh air round but daren't let out any of the expensive heat that's built up in the house. Someone said to get a dehumidifer but when I looked at the prices of them I think "oh heck, it's not worth it, I'm going to be back in England soon anyway and won't need it there"

Thank you all for your support but I can't ever imagine wanting to stay here. I think I need to talk to my partner about how I feel but have been holding off thinking that things may improve when we are in the new rental & we have our own things round us. Perhaps there is hope yet
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Old Jun 19th 2006, 8:54 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by cathyc
Someone said to get a dehumidifer but when I looked at the prices of them I think "oh heck, it's not worth it, I'm going to be back in England soon anyway and won't need it there"
If a dehumidifier will make a difference then get one! Ok, say for example that you are going to leave for the UK as soon as you can, that is still going to be at least two months for you to wrap up your affairs, and that is July and August, which is winter. So for your own sanity, get a dehumidifier, or whatever you need in order to make your life better. If you only need one for the next couple of months, then you don't need an expensive brand. Check out the Warehouse, or TradeMe, for bargains.
Is the house you are in your first rental in NZ? Did you take heating into account when looking for your new house? Often the first house is very wrong because you are under pressure to find a house to live in, and you don't know what is important for choosing the right house for your family in this new place.
Write a list of all things that are bothering you, take three things that you can do something about and make it your mission to find a way of fixing at least one of them this week.
Often it is the one at home with the kids that has the most difficulty in settling in, no workmates to talk to, no ability to find other likeminded souls. Make it your mission to figure out a way of getting out of the house and finding a way to meet others.
We have all been to this place that you find yourself... and we are here for you.
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Old Jun 20th 2006, 2:59 pm
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

You poor pooch! i say give it 3 months, the weather will pick up soon enough and its natural to be homesick, everything needs time to adjust, you can do it! talk to oyur boyfriend and tell him your homesick, nothing to be ashamed of!
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Old Jun 21st 2006, 7:37 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

I could talk to my boyfriend about it but my husband may get a bit tetchy about that, lol!!!

The container arrives Friday. Do I tell them to stick it back on the ship or go out and buy a dehumidfier? at the moment it looks like a trip to the Warehouse is on the cards but I'm not going to be unpacking too many of those boxes. I must admit I am really looking forward to having my stuff and I'm heading straight for the cartons marked "duvvets"
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Old Jun 23rd 2006, 10:22 am
  #35  
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by cathyc
I could talk to my boyfriend about it but my husband may get a bit tetchy about that, lol!!!

The container arrives Friday. Do I tell them to stick it back on the ship or go out and buy a dehumidfier? at the moment it looks like a trip to the Warehouse is on the cards but I'm not going to be unpacking too many of those boxes. I must admit I am really looking forward to having my stuff and I'm heading straight for the cartons marked "duvvets"
Hi Cathy,

Try and get a better rental. Your health is more important. If you like the home surroundings it's much easier to cope with other stuff that makes you homesick. If your kids get sick then you will have another worry. So A) get some heat on in that house or B) move to a better one.
It takes some getting used to over here. it's just up to you whether you want to get used to it or not! good luck.
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Old Jun 23rd 2006, 10:55 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

I'm sorry things aren't going as well as you'd hoped. I must be in the minority in that I felt at home straight away! I guess because I was travelling on my own and living out of a backpack to start with may have something to do with it!
It took me six weeks to find a job and then I moved to the town I would be working in. It took me another four weeks to find a place (I was a boarder in the end but it worked out more like flatmates) and I never got homesick.

I guess I can't really appreciate where you're coming from but after moving back to the UK to tie up my loose ends financially I have got really homesick. I miss New Zealand 10 times more than I ever missed the UK!

Things will get better, Look around for a new rental, spend your days out with the kids exploring - have you been out and about in Auckland?

If things get really bad then maybe auckland isn't the right place for you. i lived 90 minutes drive from the city and loved being in the countryside.

Just don't give up so easily. You've come this far.

Hope it all works out for you.

Alison
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Old Jun 26th 2006, 10:39 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by cathyc
We arrived in Auckland 2 months ago yesterday. We managed to find a rental in our price bracket and we're living in furnished place until the container arrives next week. But I hate it here and want to go back to England. My partner seems to be settling fairly well in his job but I find it very hard to feel at home here, I miss my family, the dog we had to leave behind and even little things like a decent takeaway and proper heating. At the moment I feel like telling the shippers to put the container back on the ship and taking the next flight home .

Anyone else feel the same as me? how long does it take to settle and is 2 months long enough to know that you made a mistake?
Hi

I moved from Leeds 10 years ago, we lived in Auckland for a few of years, then we moved to Wellington and eventually moved to Melbourne, Australia, partly due to my husbands job, but really in the hope I would be happier in the next place but I never have been truly happy. My 21 year daughter moved back to UK 10 months ago and I'm feeling even worse now. I considering moving back. All I can only say it is early days for you, and if you want to make a go of it, you have to work, get a hobby or do something to keep yourself busy. I took a nursing degree in Wellington, it kept my mind off it for a bit and I made some friends too. I saw a thread the other day and someone said if you don't settle in 18 months you never will. I really feel for you, I've been there, NZ is a beautiful place, but when you are homesick and depressed it is hard to see the beauty or good side of any country, but I certainly know what you mean about the heating and takeaways etc, it is not much better here either.

Good luck

Mandy
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Old Jun 27th 2006, 11:11 pm
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Thank you for the contined support, it's good to know that some people felt the same as I do I think I'm going to be feeling unsettled for a quite a while yet.

The move into our new rental went fine. The container arrived on the day it should have, everything was ok except for a few bumps and a minor breakage. It does feel really lovely to have our things around us again. We have a bit more space and a garden for the kids to play in which is good.

The weather has been a lot better during the day, it's SO GOOD to see the sun even though it has been freezing at night and first thing in the morning . We really feel the need to top up on sunshine after being cheated of a summer this year.

I was talking to someone this morning who said a her friend in Dannemora was mugged on her driveway. She had got some money out of the cash point and these three Maori men followed her home. They assaulted her as she pulled up on to her drive, as she climbed out of her car they snatched her bag and roughed her up quite badly. She's still in shock and very bruised. The police apparently don't want to know, they won't even look at CCTV cameras at the shopping centre. They have refused to trace the call that was made from her mobile phone because they would have to pay Telecom! How lame is that? thank god she didn't have her kids with her at the time.

I thought we'd come to New Zealand to leave stuff like this behind, heaven help us. Not good is it.
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Old Jun 28th 2006, 1:51 am
  #39  
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by cathyc

I thought we'd come to New Zealand to leave stuff like this behind, heaven help us. Not good is it.
Did you really? Did you honestly think there was no crime in this country?
Of course there is, unfortunaltey things like what you have described happen all the time all over the world. I think you are just being more sensitive to it as you are still looking for justifications to go back home.

Are you still around Mairangi Bay? Enjoy the winter sun, take the kids down the beach for a run about, just try to imagine how great your first summer will be here, even if you only have one before going home. There are plenty of solid houses about and I hope your new rental feels like a real home.
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Old Jun 28th 2006, 3:39 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

No I thought this was a golden land of opportunity filled with happy hobbits and kind elves

Of course there is crime all over the world what makes New Zealand any different? At least back in Britain the police would be a little more concerned about a woman being beaten up and robbed on her driveway by three men. They could probably afford a whip round to pay a small charge to BT too. Did you hear on the news about a Pukekohe woman who was repeatedly raped in her home for 5 hours by an intruder? or the twin baby boys being battered to death by a member of their family?

How long have you lived here JudeJ and where did you come from?
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Old Jun 28th 2006, 4:07 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by cathyc
No I thought this was a golden land of opportunity filled with happy hobbits and kind elves

Of course there is crime all over the world what makes New Zealand any different? At least back in Britain the police would be a little more concerned about a woman being beaten up and robbed on her driveway by three men. They could probably afford a whip round to pay a small charge to BT too. Did you hear on the news about a Pukekohe woman who was repeatedly raped in her home for 5 hours by an intruder? or the twin baby boys being battered to death by a member of their family?

How long have you lived here JudeJ and where did you come from?

Hey I wasn't being rude, sorry you took it that way. I didn't say that NZ was any different I thought that you were in a way when you said "I thought we'd come to NZ to leave this stuff behind"

Yes of course I have heard those stories. It saddens me that this sort of thing happens. It sounds like the police have cocked up again in the case of the lady on the drive, I haven't heard anything about this story in the press I dont think I would compare police forces though, both in the UK and here thay seem to leave alot to be desired in one way or another.

Dont know if you were asking in a friendly way or not but I have been here almost 4 years and come from England. I didn't have a great start either as I missed people I know and found some things here difficult but thats why I said earlier wait until you have your first summer as it is so much better then, as in most countries. By the end of my first summer I felt more relaxed and 'at home' and had made some lovely friends.

Sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, I hope you settle in soon
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Old Jun 28th 2006, 11:20 pm
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Hell I'm so sorry Jude J, that was a bit blunt of me . I didn't mean to be rude to you.

I'm not sure why this lady didn't go to the press with her story, perhaps she was worried that the men would come back if she did? It was such a shocking tale, I feel so safe here so it was a real surprise to hear such things go on. If the same thing happened to me I'm not sure if I would make a fuss, perhaps it's better to forget it and move on.

You sound quite settled, I can imagine that after 4 years you are happy here. We came here for the lifestyle and to give the kids a better environment to grow up in. You're probably right about feeling better when the summer comes, we can get out a lot more and do a bit of sight seeing around the place. Half the problem is that we had all the stress of selling, packing up, moving and coming straight here, we should have had a holiday on the way and unwound a bit. It's been a bit full on the last few months.

There are some things I like about living here but it's taking a lot to get used to some of the basic things that are lacking. Oh, I had to laugh yesterday though about the new prisons being built with underfloor heating. What a luxury that would be!

Hope I didn't offend you.
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Old Jun 29th 2006, 12:23 am
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Originally Posted by cathyc
Hell I'm so sorry Jude J, that was a bit blunt of me . I didn't mean to be rude to you.

I'm not sure why this lady didn't go to the press with her story, perhaps she was worried that the men would come back if she did? It was such a shocking tale, I feel so safe here so it was a real surprise to hear such things go on. If the same thing happened to me I'm not sure if I would make a fuss, perhaps it's better to forget it and move on.

You sound quite settled, I can imagine that after 4 years you are happy here. We came here for the lifestyle and to give the kids a better environment to grow up in. You're probably right about feeling better when the summer comes, we can get out a lot more and do a bit of sight seeing around the place. Half the problem is that we had all the stress of selling, packing up, moving and coming straight here, we should have had a holiday on the way and unwound a bit. It's been a bit full on the last few months.

There are some things I like about living here but it's taking a lot to get used to some of the basic things that are lacking. Oh, I had to laugh yesterday though about the new prisons being built with underfloor heating. What a luxury that would be!


Hope I didn't offend you.

No not at all

I know, we were laughing about that on the news last night too!
We have just brought our first house here, should get the keys today so are very excited. It has gas and one fitted heater which will feel like a bit of a luxury!

Yes, I am settled and happy living here but it took a while. I think for the first few months you tend to comare everything with home, good or bad. The same with money, when we came it was $3 to the pound so for ages we mentally calculated everything we brought into pounds but as time goes on you just stop doing it!

It is a stressful thing to do and it is a shame you arrived in winter. We arrived in October and had the summer not long after so the first few months felt like a holiday.

Please feel free to pm me any time
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Old Jul 2nd 2006, 9:26 am
  #44  
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

A fitted gas heater does sound like luxury, my brother had gas wall heaters put in his terraced house in the Lake District and they worked very well.

I still automatically convert everything back into pounds, specially the petrol which seems a lot cheaper when I do that, lol! Isn't it strange though how all the garages put their prices up or down all at the same time? We could do with a price war I think

How did your move into your new house go, have you settled in yet?
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Old Jul 2nd 2006, 12:02 pm
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Default Re: Two months is enough, I want to go home

Try to keep youself busy, make a new friends and kwik! In other case... I had a very good exp. Belive me!
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