Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Moving back or to the UK
Reload this Page >

trying to get past 'weather talk'

trying to get past 'weather talk'

Old Jun 16th 2011, 10:20 am
  #1  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 15
thisandthat is an unknown quantity at this point
Default trying to get past 'weather talk'

Moved back to England (decided on Cheltenham) with the family (H + 3 kids) a month ago after 16 years abroad. Everything has gone amazingly well. Found a lovely place to live, got the kids in a really good school, and even got them into some after school activities. Couldn't ask for more, but just miss 'real talk' so much. I haven't done anything but make small talk with anyone local, (at the school gate, which is a new experience for me, I feel like a mouse) and although old friends and family are not far away, I don't want to be reliant on them. On-line chat just doesn't seem to be enough - I love face to face thoughtful discussions so that when I've seen friends I usually feel inspired and as though I've learnt something. Basically I think my friends are amazing people and I miss them. I've been a stay at home Mum, but wouldn't mind working out of the house - of course there's not a lot of jobs going. Also, having been out of the work place for the past decade my CV is looking pretty ancient. I've moved from place to place before, but this is the first time I've struggled to meet people - I'm sure because a. I'm not working and b. the kids are a bit older so I'm not involved with the pre-school crowd. Also I'm kind of wary about joining groups just for the sake of it - you know how it is - no escape! Others gone through this? any ideas? http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/sr...ies/unsure.gif
thisandthat is offline  
Old Jun 16th 2011, 1:53 pm
  #2  
 
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,848
Englishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond repute
Lightbulb Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

I was just looking at an expat forum for Switzerland and one of the British posters had a suggestion when she came up against the same thing:

She went round to her neighbours' homes and put an invitation in their postboxes, briefly stating that she'd just moved to the neighbourhood and was hosting a 'getting to know you' afternoon tea. She made up some little finger sandwiches, little fairy cakes etc.

Apparently it was a huge success; some neighbours who attended only knew each other by 'hello, how are you?' as they passed each other but now know one another, and two old dears became firm friends and met at this woman's tea party!

I agree that it's not so easy to meet people when the children are old enough to make their own friendships and don't need their mums as a chaperone any more (except for being a taxi service!)

Good luck!
Englishmum is offline  
Old Jun 16th 2011, 3:25 pm
  #3  
The Kwisatz Haderach
 
Mummy in the foothills's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,067
Mummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

Originally Posted by Englishmum View Post
I was just looking at an expat forum for Switzerland and one of the British posters had a suggestion when she came up against the same thing:

She went round to her neighbours' homes and put an invitation in their postboxes, briefly stating that she'd just moved to the neighbourhood and was hosting a 'getting to know you' afternoon tea. She made up some little finger sandwiches, little fairy cakes etc.

Apparently it was a huge success; some neighbours who attended only knew each other by 'hello, how are you?' as they passed each other but now know one another, and two old dears became firm friends and met at this woman's tea party!

I agree that it's not so easy to meet people when the children are old enough to make their own friendships and don't need their mums as a chaperone any more (except for being a taxi service!)

Good luck!
That is a great idea. I must remember it for when we move.
Mummy in the foothills is offline  
Old Jun 16th 2011, 4:47 pm
  #4  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 15
thisandthat is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

I am so going to do that. Thanks so much for the tip.
thisandthat is offline  
Old Jun 16th 2011, 5:02 pm
  #5  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Feb 2011
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 983
jemima55 is a splendid one to beholdjemima55 is a splendid one to beholdjemima55 is a splendid one to beholdjemima55 is a splendid one to beholdjemima55 is a splendid one to beholdjemima55 is a splendid one to beholdjemima55 is a splendid one to beholdjemima55 is a splendid one to beholdjemima55 is a splendid one to beholdjemima55 is a splendid one to beholdjemima55 is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

Was going to do that here (USA) by inviting people to a "Tea Party" until a particular political group adopted the name and confused the issue!
jemima55 is offline  
Old Jun 16th 2011, 5:41 pm
  #6  
The Kwisatz Haderach
 
Mummy in the foothills's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,067
Mummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond reputeMummy in the foothills has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

Originally Posted by jemima55 View Post
Was going to do that here (USA) by inviting people to a "Tea Party" until a particular political group adopted the name and confused the issue!
Can you imagine who you'd have ended up meeting.
Mummy in the foothills is offline  
Old Jun 16th 2011, 7:43 pm
  #7  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 110
MNandMN is just really niceMNandMN is just really niceMNandMN is just really niceMNandMN is just really niceMNandMN is just really niceMNandMN is just really niceMNandMN is just really niceMNandMN is just really niceMNandMN is just really niceMNandMN is just really nice
Default Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

Originally Posted by thisandthat View Post
Moved back to England (decided on Cheltenham) with the family (H + 3 kids) a month ago after 16 years abroad. Everything has gone amazingly well. Found a lovely place to live, got the kids in a really good school, and even got them into some after school activities. Couldn't ask for more, but just miss 'real talk' so much. I haven't done anything but make small talk with anyone local, (at the school gate, which is a new experience for me, I feel like a mouse) and although old friends and family are not far away, I don't want to be reliant on them. On-line chat just doesn't seem to be enough - I love face to face thoughtful discussions so that when I've seen friends I usually feel inspired and as though I've learnt something. Basically I think my friends are amazing people and I miss them. I've been a stay at home Mum, but wouldn't mind working out of the house - of course there's not a lot of jobs going. Also, having been out of the work place for the past decade my CV is looking pretty ancient. I've moved from place to place before, but this is the first time I've struggled to meet people - I'm sure because a. I'm not working and b. the kids are a bit older so I'm not involved with the pre-school crowd. Also I'm kind of wary about joining groups just for the sake of it - you know how it is - no escape! Others gone through this? any ideas? http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/sr...ies/unsure.gif
lots of voluntary agencies are experiencing budget cuts and need more volunteers, I volunteer at the local animal shelter, I have met some nice people and it is nice to have some structure when you don't work (for pay)
MNandMN is offline  
Old Jun 16th 2011, 8:53 pm
  #8  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: May 2007
Location: England
Posts: 3,962
brits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

Originally Posted by thisandthat View Post
Moved back to England (decided on Cheltenham) with the family (H + 3 kids) a month ago after 16 years abroad. Everything has gone amazingly well. Found a lovely place to live, got the kids in a really good school, and even got them into some after school activities. Couldn't ask for more, but just miss 'real talk' so much. I haven't done anything but make small talk with anyone local, (at the school gate, which is a new experience for me, I feel like a mouse) and although old friends and family are not far away, I don't want to be reliant on them. On-line chat just doesn't seem to be enough - I love face to face thoughtful discussions so that when I've seen friends I usually feel inspired and as though I've learnt something. Basically I think my friends are amazing people and I miss them. I've been a stay at home Mum, but wouldn't mind working out of the house - of course there's not a lot of jobs going. Also, having been out of the work place for the past decade my CV is looking pretty ancient. I've moved from place to place before, but this is the first time I've struggled to meet people - I'm sure because a. I'm not working and b. the kids are a bit older so I'm not involved with the pre-school crowd. Also I'm kind of wary about joining groups just for the sake of it - you know how it is - no escape! Others gone through this? any ideas? http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/sr...ies/unsure.gif
It is harder when your children are older.....as a lot of mums meet friends through their children at school or sporting clubs etc...If you have the time why not do some volunteering...it will look good on your resume and it will help with meeting people in the area. You could also join a gym or sporting club yourself if you are sporty....or even a book club if you like that kind of thing. We also moved around a lot while overseas and that always makes it harder to keep in touch with people, it will get easier and the longer you stay somewhere the better to make friends. I only have to walk in the local coffee shop and they already know my order...lol.....dont forget to try and do some you enjoy...if your a nice person which I am sure you are..you will attract nice people. Take care
brits1 is offline  
Old Jun 16th 2011, 8:58 pm
  #9  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: May 2007
Location: England
Posts: 3,962
brits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

Originally Posted by Englishmum View Post
I was just looking at an expat forum for Switzerland and one of the British posters had a suggestion when she came up against the same thing:

She went round to her neighbours' homes and put an invitation in their postboxes, briefly stating that she'd just moved to the neighbourhood and was hosting a 'getting to know you' afternoon tea. She made up some little finger sandwiches, little fairy cakes etc.

Apparently it was a huge success; some neighbours who attended only knew each other by 'hello, how are you?' as they passed each other but now know one another, and two old dears became firm friends and met at this woman's tea party!

I agree that it's not so easy to meet people when the children are old enough to make their own friendships and don't need their mums as a chaperone any more (except for being a taxi service!)

Good luck!
A neighbour did this last Christmas...invited us all round for mince pies and mulled wine....we were new ourselves and ummm and arrrrrred but we went and we were very glad we did (we are usually good neighbours but thats about it) the neighbours were from South Africa and had lived in their home for about 1 year and were lovely as were the rest of the neighbours...some were locals and some were from down south etc...and a lovely bunch we all are...lol
brits1 is offline  
Old Jun 16th 2011, 9:15 pm
  #10  
 
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,848
Englishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond reputeEnglishmum has a reputation beyond repute
Smile Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

Originally Posted by brits1 View Post
A neighbour did this last Christmas...invited us all round for mince pies and mulled wine....we were new ourselves and ummm and arrrrrred but we went and we were very glad we did (we are usually good neighbours but thats about it) the neighbours were from South Africa and had lived in their home for about 1 year and were lovely as were the rest of the neighbours...some were locals and some were from down south etc...and a lovely bunch we all are...lol
Ooooh, that's good to hear! I think I'll try and do an 'afternoon tea party' (but late in the afternoon so I could get some wine or cocktails out ) next month when we move to a new posting (near Zug, Switzerland). However, we don't speak a word of German, let alone the local dialect of Swiss German! However, there are apparently many expats in and around Zug and many Swiss speak good English, so I'll give it a try and send an invite round to the people in the apartment block. If most of them seem to be away on their hols I'll just add a note inviting them to drop by for a coffee/glass of wine when they get back.

When we first moved to our house in New Jersey there used to be a 'block party' every September when the new school year started. The whole street would be closed off by the police for a couple of hours (on a Sunday afternoon) and everyone had to bring something along to eat, to share ie. 'potluck'. The demographics changed as people moved away and there hasn't been one for a few years, but it was a nice idea. I'm away a lot and son is now a young adult, otherwise if I bothered to get my act together I'd probably try and re-start the 'block party'....but I'm slowly planning my escape back to the UK so I don't think I'll get round to doing it...

I can just about remember when I lived in England and we had a 'street party' for the Queen's Silver Jubilee and another one when Charles and Di got married - it was a lot of fun. Happy Days.

To 'thisandthat' - do post back if you have an 'afternoon tea' and let us know how you got on! You might find some great recommendations for great local restaurants, hairdressers, days out etc....and also tips on places to avoid!
Englishmum is offline  
Old Jun 16th 2011, 10:37 pm
  #11  
BE Enthusiast
 
ducktastic's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2009
Location: Cheltenham, UK was Vancouver, BC
Posts: 704
ducktastic has a reputation beyond reputeducktastic has a reputation beyond reputeducktastic has a reputation beyond reputeducktastic has a reputation beyond reputeducktastic has a reputation beyond reputeducktastic has a reputation beyond reputeducktastic has a reputation beyond reputeducktastic has a reputation beyond reputeducktastic has a reputation beyond reputeducktastic has a reputation beyond reputeducktastic has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

Originally Posted by thisandthat View Post
Moved back to England (decided on Cheltenham) with the family (H + 3 kids) a month ago after 16 years abroad. Everything has gone amazingly well. Found a lovely place to live, got the kids in a really good school, and even got them into some after school activities. Couldn't ask for more, but just miss 'real talk' so much. I haven't done anything but make small talk with anyone local, (at the school gate, which is a new experience for me, I feel like a mouse) and although old friends and family are not far away, I don't want to be reliant on them. On-line chat just doesn't seem to be enough - I love face to face thoughtful discussions so that when I've seen friends I usually feel inspired and as though I've learnt something. Basically I think my friends are amazing people and I miss them. I've been a stay at home Mum, but wouldn't mind working out of the house - of course there's not a lot of jobs going. Also, having been out of the work place for the past decade my CV is looking pretty ancient. I've moved from place to place before, but this is the first time I've struggled to meet people - I'm sure because a. I'm not working and b. the kids are a bit older so I'm not involved with the pre-school crowd. Also I'm kind of wary about joining groups just for the sake of it - you know how it is - no escape! Others gone through this? any ideas? http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/sr...ies/unsure.gif
I am in cheltenham, pm me if you fancy a coffee, I promise not to mention the weather! However some of my fav topics are shoes and The Apprentice, so can't promise high brow!!
ducktastic is offline  
Old Jun 17th 2011, 12:00 am
  #12  
Not actually a squirrel
 
brissybee's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2010
Location: England
Posts: 3,446
brissybee has a reputation beyond reputebrissybee has a reputation beyond reputebrissybee has a reputation beyond reputebrissybee has a reputation beyond reputebrissybee has a reputation beyond reputebrissybee has a reputation beyond reputebrissybee has a reputation beyond reputebrissybee has a reputation beyond reputebrissybee has a reputation beyond reputebrissybee has a reputation beyond reputebrissybee has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: trying to get past 'weather talk'

Originally Posted by ducktastic View Post
I am in cheltenham, pm me if you fancy a coffee, I promise not to mention the weather! However some of my fav topics are shoes and The Apprentice, so can't promise high brow!!
Imagine Donald Trump in high heels on a bad hair day.
brissybee is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.