Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
#31
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2010
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 9,618
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
#32
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,148
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
That's basically Connemara around 1 hour drive from Galway. We live just outside Galway (that's where the work is), but It's just great that you can easily get to these places and even on a grey winters day, it can be nice to go into a cozy pub, sit by the fire and have some seafood chowder.
Sorry just random street view, but this is just around the Cliffs of Moher, where I'll have a pint next weekend and weather looking good too. Although it's not a cheap pint, I'll enjoy it LOL.
Sorry just random street view, but this is just around the Cliffs of Moher, where I'll have a pint next weekend and weather looking good too. Although it's not a cheap pint, I'll enjoy it LOL.
#33
Just Joined
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 10
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
Moses2013. It’s lovely I’ve been there! My grandma was from Co.Clare and my mum is from Cork. The west of Ireland has a special place in my heart. I hope you enjoy your pint with all that nice weather you are having. ☀️
#34
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 1
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
Hi Rocky Mountain,
Yes we did move back. I moved in December with the boys and my husband end of March.(He wrapped up house selling and his transfer back took a little longer than we hoped).
What can I say, it has been a very tough 6 months. Vikingsails words haunt me often ^ the upheaval of 'upping sticks' and resettling may be disastrous for you and your family^. We moved back because I thought I wanted to be back in England, I wanted to feel settled and not enter a period of unknown. My reasons to come back were mainly based on fear - and that's not the right reason.
School and Sports - this has been the biggest disappointment, especially the secondary school. The behaviour of the students was shocking, my son could not believe how rude and disrespectful the students were to the teachers, the amount of swearing in class, how they messed about in class, how they are disinterested in learning, He had never experienced anything like it. It was such a culture shock. And this is a school with a good reputation. Having spoken to other moms, this is not uncommon and other schools in the area are worse. My son came home talking about gangs and things they get up to, Gang membership is a real problem,
It is so hard to hear my son say he is not going to tryout for the school football team as some of the really misbehaved boys were on it and he was not comfortable and did not want to mix with them. It is hard to deal with the guilt knowing how much he enjoyed school sports in USA.. If you can afford it, the best thing would be private school or grammar school for the kids, In our Secondary school there is no parent involvement, I feel schools in UK keep parents at arms length, there is not that community feel that we had in USA .
Cleanliness - I was shocked at how dirty it is here, there is litter everywhere, it's like people don't care. It was probably always like this,but I notice it more having lived in an extremely clean area
Environment - Your physical environment is important, being an hour from the mountains meant we could ski in winter and hike in summer, Seeing the mountain ranges on a clear day was breathtaking for me. don't underestimate the importance of the physical environment you are used to.
Smoking - I had forgotten how much people smoke here , but what's infuriating is seeing parents smoke at kids sports event , seeing coaches smoke in front of players - it blows my mind that this is allowed to happen
.
Weather - I always thought the Pacific northwest was like England, - Rainy- , I must have been delusional, Uk has been very cold and very wet, to the point of depressing If you are from a warm state , I would consider the weather in you decision making.
Violence - there has been an increase in knife violence in London, we live 50 miles outside London, but there have been a lot of recent incidents of knife violence in and around our town.. I felt much safer in the USA..
Family - this was a big pull for me, and it has been nice that the kids have been to some family gatherings and are getting to spend time with cousins and grandparents. However, we are not in the same town as our parents or siblings and have seen them only a few times and only flying weekend visits.. Our relationship with our parents is still mainly phoned based, yes we can get to them if need be,but I can't just pop in for a visit..
.
If I were to give you advice, - if your heart is telling you to come back to Uk,you should follow it, but
- leave the door open to go back- you will know within a few weeks if the decision is right or wrong, (we closed our door, if we had not, I would be back there now)
- if you have kids over 10, unless their day to day life is going to be better and they'll be in private or grammar school - don't do it - there is nothing more heart breaking than watching your child cry themselves to sleep or 6 months down the line telling you how much they miss home and want to go back. I don;t think my boys will ever forgive me for this decision
- if your moving back for family, they have to be in the same town for it to be beneficial
- Do consider the weather
- Do consider your physical environment
-Making friends is hard, people in USA are much friendlier.
I hope this has been helpful, there isn't many positive , but this is where we are at the moment,
Thanks
Yes we did move back. I moved in December with the boys and my husband end of March.(He wrapped up house selling and his transfer back took a little longer than we hoped).
What can I say, it has been a very tough 6 months. Vikingsails words haunt me often ^ the upheaval of 'upping sticks' and resettling may be disastrous for you and your family^. We moved back because I thought I wanted to be back in England, I wanted to feel settled and not enter a period of unknown. My reasons to come back were mainly based on fear - and that's not the right reason.
School and Sports - this has been the biggest disappointment, especially the secondary school. The behaviour of the students was shocking, my son could not believe how rude and disrespectful the students were to the teachers, the amount of swearing in class, how they messed about in class, how they are disinterested in learning, He had never experienced anything like it. It was such a culture shock. And this is a school with a good reputation. Having spoken to other moms, this is not uncommon and other schools in the area are worse. My son came home talking about gangs and things they get up to, Gang membership is a real problem,
It is so hard to hear my son say he is not going to tryout for the school football team as some of the really misbehaved boys were on it and he was not comfortable and did not want to mix with them. It is hard to deal with the guilt knowing how much he enjoyed school sports in USA.. If you can afford it, the best thing would be private school or grammar school for the kids, In our Secondary school there is no parent involvement, I feel schools in UK keep parents at arms length, there is not that community feel that we had in USA .
Cleanliness - I was shocked at how dirty it is here, there is litter everywhere, it's like people don't care. It was probably always like this,but I notice it more having lived in an extremely clean area
Environment - Your physical environment is important, being an hour from the mountains meant we could ski in winter and hike in summer, Seeing the mountain ranges on a clear day was breathtaking for me. don't underestimate the importance of the physical environment you are used to.
Smoking - I had forgotten how much people smoke here , but what's infuriating is seeing parents smoke at kids sports event , seeing coaches smoke in front of players - it blows my mind that this is allowed to happen
.
Weather - I always thought the Pacific northwest was like England, - Rainy- , I must have been delusional, Uk has been very cold and very wet, to the point of depressing If you are from a warm state , I would consider the weather in you decision making.
Violence - there has been an increase in knife violence in London, we live 50 miles outside London, but there have been a lot of recent incidents of knife violence in and around our town.. I felt much safer in the USA..
Family - this was a big pull for me, and it has been nice that the kids have been to some family gatherings and are getting to spend time with cousins and grandparents. However, we are not in the same town as our parents or siblings and have seen them only a few times and only flying weekend visits.. Our relationship with our parents is still mainly phoned based, yes we can get to them if need be,but I can't just pop in for a visit..
.
If I were to give you advice, - if your heart is telling you to come back to Uk,you should follow it, but
- leave the door open to go back- you will know within a few weeks if the decision is right or wrong, (we closed our door, if we had not, I would be back there now)
- if you have kids over 10, unless their day to day life is going to be better and they'll be in private or grammar school - don't do it - there is nothing more heart breaking than watching your child cry themselves to sleep or 6 months down the line telling you how much they miss home and want to go back. I don;t think my boys will ever forgive me for this decision
- if your moving back for family, they have to be in the same town for it to be beneficial
- Do consider the weather
- Do consider your physical environment
-Making friends is hard, people in USA are much friendlier.
I hope this has been helpful, there isn't many positive , but this is where we are at the moment,
Thanks
ive been here 10 years and am a green card holder, and my experience here in the US has been terrible and that includes 6 years in Oregon. I actually laughed out loud when you wrote “Americans are much nicer” but that’s been my experience and it seems like you’ve been very lucky. I was once called a “white N****r” by a coworker because of my status, and that’s the best of the worst I’ve had to deal with.
i know a few British expats who are struggling here in the US because of people trying to take advsntdge of them, snd several that are going home because of it as well as the attitude towards foreigners.
The current administration is indirectly causing problems for immigrants here, malicious complaints to USCIS are through the roof. I read a story last week about a guy facing prison time for attempting to bribe an immigration officer in Portland, OR. So think about what you might have avoided.
Culture shock is a lot to handle and a few thjngs for you to consider might help:
Maybe move out of London? I think that’s where you said you are. It is horribly dirty and expensive. I’m from Yorkshire and everyone calls each other “love”.
Join an expats group, there are lots of expat Brits and Americans in London. Perhaps that might help you resettle.
encourage your kids to find sports groups outside of school.
pluses include
no school shootings in the UK verses lots over here. But yes, less so in Seattle.
Travelling to Europe is much easier and cheaper
the first thing you’re asked when you go to the doctor will NOT be “how are you paying for this?”
fish and chips
University will be cheaper and probably better got your sons.
less guns and less angry guys waving them around
youre family are there for you.
#35
Banned
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,830
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
😊 Yep I do need my hand holding , I hate making decision that will impact others ( my kids in this instance).
Hubby does not have a job, I know, we would never have moved out here without securing a job first, but he seems confident he will get something so I am not panicking and have set budget aside for this.
Glad things worked out for you, and yes North America is a much better life style than UK but the feeling of wanting to go back won't subside if we stay and the panic of what if... will set in as well.
Hubby does not have a job, I know, we would never have moved out here without securing a job first, but he seems confident he will get something so I am not panicking and have set budget aside for this.
Glad things worked out for you, and yes North America is a much better life style than UK but the feeling of wanting to go back won't subside if we stay and the panic of what if... will set in as well.
#36
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 4
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
Thank you so much Priv for your reply. I’m sorry to hear it is taking a long time to settle. I hope it improves for you all very soon.
If you dont don’t mind me asking, where did you move to in the UK? We originally lived 40 miles outside London, more south west in Surrey before we mov d to the US. We didn’t have kids then so a lot has changed. We now have 3. My older kids are really big into sports especially soccer (football!), so that would have to be a consideration.
All your points are all valid and worth noting. Thank you. The school situation is a stumbling block for me as it looks so different in the UK compared to the US. Also the climate - we live in Colorado and are used to over 300 days of sunshine/year.
Thank you for your honesty.
If you dont don’t mind me asking, where did you move to in the UK? We originally lived 40 miles outside London, more south west in Surrey before we mov d to the US. We didn’t have kids then so a lot has changed. We now have 3. My older kids are really big into sports especially soccer (football!), so that would have to be a consideration.
All your points are all valid and worth noting. Thank you. The school situation is a stumbling block for me as it looks so different in the UK compared to the US. Also the climate - we live in Colorado and are used to over 300 days of sunshine/year.
Thank you for your honesty.
May I ask what made you relocate to the USA after living in Surrey please? I am also thinking of making a move to Colorado, to retire there and at present live in Surrey too. Any advice about living there please? Also, what made you choose Colorado, and is it relatively safe there? Any advice that you can give would be very useful please? Thank you so much. Sam
#37
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
Hi RockyMountains
May I ask what made you relocate to the USA after living in Surrey please? I am also thinking of making a move to Colorado, to retire there and at present live in Surrey too. Any advice about living there please? Also, what made you choose Colorado, and is it relatively safe there? Any advice that you can give would be very useful please? Thank you so much. Sam
I'd suggest you start a new thread in the main US forums, as we have several members living in Colorado who will be very happy to help you. This section of the forum is really for those going the other way.
I assume you're a US citizen so no visa worries?
Good luck with the move.
#38
Just Joined
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 10
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
Hi RockyMountains
May I ask what made you relocate to the USA after living in Surrey please? I am also thinking of making a move to Colorado, to retire there and at present live in Surrey too. Any advice about living there please? Also, what made you choose Colorado, and is it relatively safe there? Any advice that you can give would be very useful please? Thank you so much. Sam
We moved to Colorado with my husband’s job. We were only supposed to be here for 1-2 years but with promotions for my husband, sunshine and the relative ease of everyday living we are still here. 3 kids later.
Its a very fit, active state. There are so many trails and it’s very outdoorsy with ski slopes on your doorstop (although traffic has got worse with all the new people
moving here). Safe - compared to UK? Well, there’s the issue of guns which frighten the life out of me. Kids have to practice “lockdown” drills at school. There are often shootings reported on the news in the more sketchy areas. There are some areas which are safer than others in my opinion, but you get that anywhere. We live in the suburbs about 15 miles north of Denver and it’s very pleasant. Malls nearby. Hikes. Sunshine. Equal distance to Denver and Boulder.
There are plentiful of retirees and lots of golf courses. It’s very laid back here I would say. People don’t often dress up even for more formal dinners.
Are you a US citizen?
Hope that helps.
#39
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 4
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
Hi Sam
We moved to Colorado with my husband’s job. We were only supposed to be here for 1-2 years but with promotions for my husband, sunshine and the relative ease of everyday living we are still here. 3 kids later.
Its a very fit, active state. There are so many trails and it’s very outdoorsy with ski slopes on your doorstop (although traffic has got worse with all the new people
moving here). Safe - compared to UK? Well, there’s the issue of guns which frighten the life out of me. Kids have to practice “lockdown” drills at school. There are often shootings reported on the news in the more sketchy areas. There are some areas which are safer than others in my opinion, but you get that anywhere. We live in the suburbs about 15 miles north of Denver and it’s very pleasant. Malls nearby. Hikes. Sunshine. Equal distance to Denver and Boulder.
There are plentiful of retirees and lots of golf courses. It’s very laid back here I would say. People don’t often dress up even for more formal dinners.
Are you a US citizen?
Hope that helps.
I'm contemplating retiring out there, so am a complete novice and just researching the cost of living and other aspects of living in the USA etc. Thank you again for your reply. Much appreciated. Kind regards. Sam.
#40
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 4
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
My apologies Christmasoompa. Still new to this. Thank you for the suggestion. Kind regards. Sam
#41
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
If you're not a US citizen, then I'd forget cost of living etc for now, and firstly work out if there is any visa you may qualify for. Are you married to a US citizen? Or have a US citizen child that could sponsor you? The US is a very tough country to qualify for a visa for, particularly if you wish to retire so wouldn't have employment based visas open to you. But head over to the US immi section of the forum and they'll be able to work out if you could move or not.
Good luck.
Good luck.
#42
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2019
Posts: 4
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
Thanks you Christmasoompa. Yes, I have been looking at the different visas. I have been reading up on these on the different forums. Thank you again. Kind regards. Sam
#44
Just Joined
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 3
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
Hello all. Any news on the lady who moved to Milton Keynes? I hope things got better.
i live in NH and have been considering moving back to Cardiff for years. I have a green card but willing to give it up if I leave as dual citizenship seems too complicated in the long run.
I have no one here since my divorce apart from a couple who are really good friends. All my family are in Cardiff and I have friends all over the UK. I think I would be better off there but can’t seem to bring myself to give up the green card. I lived in South Korea for 5 years and don’t regret leaving but maybe that’s because it’s fairly simple to get a teaching visa. Once I give up the green card it’s gone for good.
any advice?
i live in NH and have been considering moving back to Cardiff for years. I have a green card but willing to give it up if I leave as dual citizenship seems too complicated in the long run.
I have no one here since my divorce apart from a couple who are really good friends. All my family are in Cardiff and I have friends all over the UK. I think I would be better off there but can’t seem to bring myself to give up the green card. I lived in South Korea for 5 years and don’t regret leaving but maybe that’s because it’s fairly simple to get a teaching visa. Once I give up the green card it’s gone for good.
any advice?
#45
Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA
This is a very old thread please open a new thread.
thread closed.
thread closed.