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Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Old Apr 22nd 2017, 8:02 pm
  #16  
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Interesting read. Feel like we're just about to start out on this process, leaving UK in a few days. No idea how it'll work out.

When was the last time you came back to the UK?

I'm convinced the UK is a fantastic place to live, however there is a certain amount of turmoil and uncertainty right now. Then again that's true in the US and elsewhere. Very hard to really predict the future.
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Old Nov 16th 2017, 3:51 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

how is it all going back in the UK faybes? i am in a similar boat-since becoming a mother to a 13 month old i want to move back! along with gun situation and president....
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Old Nov 16th 2017, 4:25 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

This may come as a surprise if you read my posts but I say stay. I certainly would not allow the 'new administration' affect my decision unless my job was integrally tied to the President! Presidents come and go arguably living in the UK you may be affected by anything silly the US does.

If your life is as near as perfect as you describe, the upheaval of 'upping sticks' and resettling may be disastrous for you and your family. Of course, I have learnt and believe from a lifetime of practice that many of us are inexplicably attracted to the sense of unknown and once things become settled we yearn for more. That said, the rational thing to do for yourselves and family is to stay and build upon what you have. But that is just my opinion. Durham Lad offers an example of how it can work. Bouncing back much like divorce will inevitably cost you in some form.
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Old Nov 18th 2017, 10:07 am
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Hi Priv, I am sorry your in this mental and physical struggle right now. And unfortunately there is no easy answer. However, to be fair if you feel the calling maybe you should trust it? I would trust it and have faith.

2nd thing you might want to do is start making some calls and test the water in UK and try to piece things together from where you are, and see if its worth it.

3rd thing, which I have done, write a pros and cons list of everything even including the weather conditions.

I wish you the very best to you and your family.
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Old Jun 18th 2018, 4:12 am
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Hi!
I would love to know if you did move back to the UK and your experience of it all and settling back in after so long in the USA. In a (maybe) similar situation and have a little apprehension 😬. Thank you!
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Old Jun 19th 2018, 12:08 am
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Hi Rocky Mountain,

Yes we did move back. I moved in December with the boys and my husband end of March.(He wrapped up house selling and his transfer back took a little longer than we hoped).

What can I say, it has been a very tough 6 months. Vikingsails words haunt me often ^ the upheaval of 'upping sticks' and resettling may be disastrous for you and your family^. We moved back because I thought I wanted to be back in England, I wanted to feel settled and not enter a period of unknown. My reasons to come back were mainly based on fear - and that's not the right reason.

School and Sports - this has been the biggest disappointment, especially the secondary school. The behaviour of the students was shocking, my son could not believe how rude and disrespectful the students were to the teachers, the amount of swearing in class, how they messed about in class, how they are disinterested in learning, He had never experienced anything like it. It was such a culture shock. And this is a school with a good reputation. Having spoken to other moms, this is not uncommon and other schools in the area are worse. My son came home talking about gangs and things they get up to, Gang membership is a real problem,

It is so hard to hear my son say he is not going to tryout for the school football team as some of the really misbehaved boys were on it and he was not comfortable and did not want to mix with them. It is hard to deal with the guilt knowing how much he enjoyed school sports in USA.. If you can afford it, the best thing would be private school or grammar school for the kids, In our Secondary school there is no parent involvement, I feel schools in UK keep parents at arms length, there is not that community feel that we had in USA .

Cleanliness - I was shocked at how dirty it is here, there is litter everywhere, it's like people don't care. It was probably always like this,but I notice it more having lived in an extremely clean area

Environment - Your physical environment is important, being an hour from the mountains meant we could ski in winter and hike in summer, Seeing the mountain ranges on a clear day was breathtaking for me. don't underestimate the importance of the physical environment you are used to.

Smoking - I had forgotten how much people smoke here , but what's infuriating is seeing parents smoke at kids sports event , seeing coaches smoke in front of players - it blows my mind that this is allowed to happen
.
Weather - I always thought the Pacific northwest was like England, - Rainy- , I must have been delusional, Uk has been very cold and very wet, to the point of depressing If you are from a warm state , I would consider the weather in you decision making.

Violence - there has been an increase in knife violence in London, we live 50 miles outside London, but there have been a lot of recent incidents of knife violence in and around our town.. I felt much safer in the USA..

Family - this was a big pull for me, and it has been nice that the kids have been to some family gatherings and are getting to spend time with cousins and grandparents. However, we are not in the same town as our parents or siblings and have seen them only a few times and only flying weekend visits.. Our relationship with our parents is still mainly phoned based, yes we can get to them if need be,but I can't just pop in for a visit..
.
If I were to give you advice, - if your heart is telling you to come back to Uk,you should follow it, but
- leave the door open to go back- you will know within a few weeks if the decision is right or wrong, (we closed our door, if we had not, I would be back there now)
- if you have kids over 10, unless their day to day life is going to be better and they'll be in private or grammar school - don't do it - there is nothing more heart breaking than watching your child cry themselves to sleep or 6 months down the line telling you how much they miss home and want to go back. I don;t think my boys will ever forgive me for this decision
- if your moving back for family, they have to be in the same town for it to be beneficial
- Do consider the weather
- Do consider your physical environment
-Making friends is hard, people in USA are much friendlier.

I hope this has been helpful, there isn't many positive , but this is where we are at the moment,

Thanks
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Old Jun 19th 2018, 4:28 am
  #22  
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Thank you so much Priv for your reply. I’m sorry to hear it is taking a long time to settle. I hope it improves for you all very soon.

If you dont don’t mind me asking, where did you move to in the UK? We originally lived 40 miles outside London, more south west in Surrey before we mov d to the US. We didn’t have kids then so a lot has changed. We now have 3. My older kids are really big into sports especially soccer (football!), so that would have to be a consideration.

All your points are all valid and worth noting. Thank you. The school situation is a stumbling block for me as it looks so different in the UK compared to the US. Also the climate - we live in Colorado and are used to over 300 days of sunshine/year.

Thank you for your honesty.






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Old Jun 19th 2018, 9:14 am
  #23  
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Originally Posted by Priv View Post
Hi Rocky Mountain,

Yes we did move back. I moved in December with the boys and my husband end of March.(He wrapped up house selling and his transfer back took a little longer than we hoped).

What can I say, it has been a very tough 6 months. Vikingsails words haunt me often ^ the upheaval of 'upping sticks' and resettling may be disastrous for you and your family^. We moved back because I thought I wanted to be back in England, I wanted to feel settled and not enter a period of unknown. My reasons to come back were mainly based on fear - and that's not the right reason.

School and Sports - this has been the biggest disappointment, especially the secondary school. The behaviour of the students was shocking, my son could not believe how rude and disrespectful the students were to the teachers, the amount of swearing in class, how they messed about in class, how they are disinterested in learning, He had never experienced anything like it. It was such a culture shock. And this is a school with a good reputation. Having spoken to other moms, this is not uncommon and other schools in the area are worse. My son came home talking about gangs and things they get up to, Gang membership is a real problem,

It is so hard to hear my son say he is not going to tryout for the school football team as some of the really misbehaved boys were on it and he was not comfortable and did not want to mix with them. It is hard to deal with the guilt knowing how much he enjoyed school sports in USA.. If you can afford it, the best thing would be private school or grammar school for the kids, In our Secondary school there is no parent involvement, I feel schools in UK keep parents at arms length, there is not that community feel that we had in USA .

Cleanliness - I was shocked at how dirty it is here, there is litter everywhere, it's like people don't care. It was probably always like this,but I notice it more having lived in an extremely clean area

Environment - Your physical environment is important, being an hour from the mountains meant we could ski in winter and hike in summer, Seeing the mountain ranges on a clear day was breathtaking for me. don't underestimate the importance of the physical environment you are used to.

Smoking - I had forgotten how much people smoke here , but what's infuriating is seeing parents smoke at kids sports event , seeing coaches smoke in front of players - it blows my mind that this is allowed to happen
.
Weather - I always thought the Pacific northwest was like England, - Rainy- , I must have been delusional, Uk has been very cold and very wet, to the point of depressing If you are from a warm state , I would consider the weather in you decision making.

Violence - there has been an increase in knife violence in London, we live 50 miles outside London, but there have been a lot of recent incidents of knife violence in and around our town.. I felt much safer in the USA..

Family - this was a big pull for me, and it has been nice that the kids have been to some family gatherings and are getting to spend time with cousins and grandparents. However, we are not in the same town as our parents or siblings and have seen them only a few times and only flying weekend visits.. Our relationship with our parents is still mainly phoned based, yes we can get to them if need be,but I can't just pop in for a visit..
.
If I were to give you advice, - if your heart is telling you to come back to Uk,you should follow it, but
- leave the door open to go back- you will know within a few weeks if the decision is right or wrong, (we closed our door, if we had not, I would be back there now)
- if you have kids over 10, unless their day to day life is going to be better and they'll be in private or grammar school - don't do it - there is nothing more heart breaking than watching your child cry themselves to sleep or 6 months down the line telling you how much they miss home and want to go back. I don;t think my boys will ever forgive me for this decision
- if your moving back for family, they have to be in the same town for it to be beneficial
- Do consider the weather
- Do consider your physical environment
-Making friends is hard, people in USA are much friendlier.

I hope this has been helpful, there isn't many positive , but this is where we are at the moment,

Thanks
Sorry to hear, but it really seems to me that you moved to the wrong area. I notice it every time when I drive through the UK back to Ireland and anywhere around London, or cities like Birmingham seem rough to me, because I'm not used to it. As you say, you are used to a different environment and there's not so much natural beauty around London, so people just live different lives there. Being in some parts of New York would probably be no different and people are rougher than in Seattle. The thing is that when I get closer to Wales, it's like being in a different country and people change too.
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Old Jun 19th 2018, 10:21 am
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

We moved to Milton Keynes, because it is a commuter town to London and we had some friends and family here and it’s on the M1 corridor for easy access to the North. Also we did not want to go back to London where we lived before we moved.

Surrey is a nice location. Your kids are American citizens, They can go back in the future, which is a huge plus point.
Are you an American Citizens as well?

The school system is very different. Uk they specialise early picking their GCSE’s as early as year 8 in some school . Year 9-11 are very heavily academic focused. I prefer the State system, there are more options to try different electives at an older age , they are in full time school with great access to sports til they are 18 . In the Uk after GCSE (16) Kids have more options - stay on at school for Alevels , go to college for Btecs or join an apprentiship . I suppose they are independent earlier in the Uk .

I have found that for football there are 2 levels - grassroots football ( no try out process everyone can join) and Academy ( tryout based and run by the professional clubs) . We have quite a few different league each with up to 8 divisions in each year and there are many football clubs to join with some having more than 1 team per age group. Kids can get a good level of play at grass roots level , there are a lot of talented players. Some academies have sub levels ie pre acadamey at this level, players still get to train with their grassroots team and also with the academy. My boys were used to training more than twice a week for 1.5 hrs now they train once a week for an hour. An advantage is they have time to purse other sports/interest.

You will not be getting 300 days of sunshine no where near- maybe 60days. The Countryside is pretty and you get nice country pubs , where the kids can join you. I think where you will be has nice country parks. Where we are I have noticed the Parks Trust put on a lot of local activities - walking/cycling/ nature groups etc.

Your decision depends on how old the kids are? The primary education so far has been fine and at my younger son’s school they have many after and before school activities they can join.

Good luck in your decision and you can always go back if it’s wrong. It’s a win win situation for you.

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Old Jun 19th 2018, 10:42 am
  #25  
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Hi Priv

My husband and I are both British, we have been living in the US for over 10 years now. Kids were born here, so have dual nationality. The kids are 9, 6 and 4 yrs old.

Yes, lots of football training here - 3x times a week as older boy in a competitive soccer team. Loves it! Lots of access to sport around here. Always so impressed with the sport facilities.

I geew up with GCSE’s and A Levels. The American school system is so different when they reach high school. It’s a crucial time to move (if we do) before GCSE’s start.

Suxh hard decision as so many pulls back across the pond. There are beautiful places too in England as Moses2013 said.

Milton Keynes could be on the radar as near work etc but I do not know that part of he country and I guess that is why I’m hesitant.

Its good to hear other people’s perspectives and experiences.
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Old Jun 19th 2018, 10:45 am
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Priv -
We are not American citizens yet but see the advantages.
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Old Jun 19th 2018, 10:54 am
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Originally Posted by Moses2013 View Post
Sorry to hear, but it really seems to me that you moved to the wrong area. I notice it every time when I drive through the UK back to Ireland and anywhere around London, or cities like Birmingham seem rough to me, because I'm not used to it. As you say, you are used to a different environment and there's not so much natural beauty around London, so people just live different lives there. Being in some parts of New York would probably be no different and people are rougher than in Seattle. The thing is that when I get closer to Wales, it's like being in a different country and people change too.
Hi Moses. You are possibly right , we got so used to our natural environment and the benefits that go with it that nothing compares here, and it’s such a disappointment, when the clouds lift there is no bonus - no MT Rainier . Olympic or Mt Baker mountain ranges to gaze at. Wales is naturally beautiful and Scotland also, only need it to be warmer 😊
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Old Jun 19th 2018, 11:35 am
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

HI RockyMountain,

It’s a very crucial time , if you are going to do it, move in year 6, before your eldest starts year 7 . That way he/she will have friends going into school. We left it so late yr9 and he missed 3 months of GCSE course work as his school picked subjects in year 8 and started GCSE in year 9.

Milton Keynes is a popular place to live and plans are for it to grow to a population of 500,000 by 2050. It is a young town purpose built 50 years ago incorporating a few villages , it’s
technologically advanced, with many startup and a young and diverse population. It is also surrounded by smaller quaint villages. You either hate it or like it, it’s based on a grid system , with the main H and V roads lined with trees, very pretty in the summer, quite bleak in winter( really could have done with evergreen trees) there are quite a few man made lakes and a lot of greenery around. It’s not a high street culture and car is the best mode of transport, but it takes only 35 mins to London Euston on the fast train. You get all the shops alot of chain restaurants and the theater is meant to be the best outside of London .

Best of Luck,it is a very difficult decision, but do consider the schooling, the intensity of sports, the environment you are living in , the convenience, the quality of life. Ask yourself - what you would miss most about the States - could you replicate it here in Uk. For us , for me I prefer the schooling in the States, we were in a good school district and my son would have got a lot more out of the next 5 years then he will here, obviously the environment and our quality of life, our earnings are a lot less here and are not able to do what we could there.
again Good luck


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Old Jun 19th 2018, 12:25 pm
  #29  
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Originally Posted by Priv View Post


Hi Moses. You are possibly right , we got so used to our natural environment and the benefits that go with it that nothing compares here, and it’s such a disappointment, when the clouds lift there is no bonus - no MT Rainier . Olympic or Mt Baker mountain ranges to gaze at. Wales is naturally beautiful and Scotland also, only need it to be warmer 😊
Anywhere in the US is sunnier than Northern Europe, but being in a different environment can change your mood. In many parts of Ireland we get enough rain too (like Seattle), but even on a rainy day the clouds can lift and somewhere is always sunny after that:-) + I really enjoy the long summer evenings here and if I want constant sun, just go to Spain for a week or two. I can only imagine that Scotland & Wales can feel the same and just depends where in the country and what type of person you are. Having lived in busier parts of the UK, I can understand some of your points and life is just different. We only have just above 6 million people on the whole island, but I would feel the same in parts of Dublin, although certainly not as bad as London LOL. Too many people, busy roads and general activities are different. Although you can hear the F word here too, I feel kids are more polite than in Dublin for example. I know It's not always the case, but just feels better. Even our weekends are different and we just appreciate driving on roads with scenery like this, while others are driving on the M25 and like shopping. We're all different and have choices.
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Old Jun 19th 2018, 2:01 pm
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Default Re: Thinking of Moving back to Uk after 9 years in USA

Where is that Moses2013? It is beautiful.
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