Priv

Hello all,

Seems crazy, to find this site when I am considering returning the UK, but I hope it can help me decide what to do. We have been in Seattle 9 years, but do not have a green card (only a few months a go, husbands company finally gave the go ahead to apply, but we held off, unsure how the new administration would affect us).
We came for an experience, never my intentions to stay this long, husband has a good job, I work part-time, kids are 12 and 9 now and love it here. I have to admit PNW has grown on me, it is beautiful here, also am grateful as I was able to stay home with the kids (I would have had to work fulltime in UK).
Day to Day life is convenient, but I have an uneasy feeling of not being secure and just a feeling of wanting to go home, we are not green card holders we have an E2 visa, I just think what if for what ever reason we have to leave in the future, it would really mess up my boys education, especially if it is before they graduate high school , no age 16 qualifications here only 18, and then how hard would it be to resettle in Uk when we are 55+ if we wait 10plus years, also the boys will have missed out on knowing their grandparents and just experiencing family/ cousins/ frequent family gatherings.
So my dilemma is do we stay and start process of Green card and hope nothing changes in next 10 years or leave now and start our lives back in UK , but am so scared, what if we don't like it, can't fit back in, financially it is going to be hard, we are taking the kids way from a good academic program (Advanced program), sports program (eldest is in US youth soccer). There will be no way back. My husband is fine either way, I have always talked about going back home before GCSE's kick in, so he knows this is the crucial year, if we go back my son will be selecting his GCSE's in September. House is due to go on market next week and I am having serious doubts.

Any advice from anyone who has moved or in a similar position would be welcomed.

Thanks

SanDiegogirl

Would your husband have a job to go to in the UK? or would it be a case of looking for one once you are there.

Being adverse to big risk as I am I would be very doubtful about moving if I did not have employment in the UK. As you say you have a good life here.

Have your children expressed any regrets about not having their grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins around?

geoff52

All this angst about the current situation and not a single mention of a job situation. I will say for nth time it always amazes me how people get their priorities back to front when they talk about moving countries.

Metaphorically speaking OP just wants people to hold her hand while she is going through the decision making process, nothing wrong with that. No two situations are the same so what happened to other people will not necessarily happen for you.

I moved from UK to Canada when my kids were 5 and 10 years of age. Twenty five years later (although they have been to the UK) they would never want to live in the UK.
One of them even worked for IBM in the UK for three years in London and he was glad to be back in Canada. He also liked California very much where he did his MBA. I am always very happy to return to Canada after UK visit even though I grew up there and was in my thirties when moved to Canada.
MY view is if you have a good job in North America, its a great lifestyle compared to UK. Having said that I watch lot of UK TV and Arsenal games. So best of both worlds.

Priv

No, he does not have a job yet, but he is confident that he wil get something , even if it is contracting for a while. For me the biggest risk or irresponsibility on our part is to stay here without securing permenent residency. I will be on edge until my sons complete high school and be so annoyed if for what ever reason we have to go back and they've missed GCSE's and can't do Alevels. I looked at an American school to see cost of finishing High school in Uk. At 23k pounds a year it is not something we could afford.

Also, things may be good now but my husband has developed a medical condition that will worsen in the future and if we are back in Uk at least theres safety nets (NHS) since he is the main earner and family for support. This is also playing on the back of our minds.

BEVS

Welcome to BE Priv.

Is your heart in the US but your head is telling you UK ?

Tough decisions ahead & BE is as good a place as any to think things through.
You'll get plenty of differing opinions from all sorts of folk & sometimes that helps settle the mind .

Hopefully some that have made the move will be along shortly once they wake up.

I can't help with an experience or an opinion as I have no children and moved UK to NZ. Although looking to make an NZ to UK move at some point , all being well.

Anyway. Welcome again.

Priv

😊 Yep I do need my hand holding , I hate making decision that will impact others ( my kids in this instance).

Hubby does not have a job, I know, we would never have moved out here without securing a job first, but he seems confident he will get something so I am not panicking and have set budget aside for this.

Glad things worked out for you, and yes North America is a much better life style than UK but the feeling of wanting to go back won't subside if we stay and the panic of what if... will set in as well.

Priv

Thank you , I am looking forward to reading different opinions and advice as we make this decision. My heart says UK but my head says USA.

Thanks for the welcome.

Faybes

I am in a similar situation to you - we have been going through the decision process for some time now and have decided to make the move back to the UK early next year.

We have been in California for almost 4 years now and have a 2 year old with another baby due in August. I have also been lucky to be a stay at home mum whilst out here.

We do have Green Cards but quite honestly I don't think it makes much difference as we will likely have to give those up if we plan to move back to the UK for any considerable amount of time (over 6 months I understand)

I have found life here to be a lot more functional than the UK. The weather is good our house is spacious and we live comfortably on one income. I have however been traveling backwards and forwards with our daughter for the last 18 months trying to ensure she sees enough of her family back home and it is becoming exhausting. I can't imagine doing it with 2 children and due to the 10 days US holiday allowance my husband isn't able to travel with me. I can't bear the thought of my children not growing up close to their cousins, grandparents, aunties, uncles etc. so not traveling just isn't an option for me.

I do worry about having less money to live on back in the UK. (my husband has a higher salary here than he did in the UK)

My husband and I have discussed it in great length and decided that we don't want to have any regrets in the future so we are going to go for it and hope it all works out. (He has been told he can work from the UK which is a great help)

It's such a hard decision to go through - I think if I ever knew I would feel this torn, I would never have embarked on this journey but I do believe life is for adventure and when one chapter closes, another one opens!

HKG3

A Green Card holder would be seen as abandoned his/her permanent residence status if he/she was outside of the US for more than a year. Please see link below for details -

https://www.uscis.gov/green-card/aft...anent-resident

Would it not be better to wait until both you and your husband receive US citizenship before planning to move back to the UK?

Faybes

We would have to wait for 3 more years to get the citizenship (had green cards for 2) so that's too long for us. My father is unwell and as I mentioned before, we never want to have regrets about not spending time with the family.

We are looking to apply for a re-entry permit before we leave and hopefully within 12 months we will have a clearer idea of whether the move back to the UK is permanent.

I also understand that holding dual citizenship can cause quite a lot of complications and I'd prefer a simple life!!

Priv

You are in a good position, at least you can test the waters for a year , you have a way back if you don't like it. For us it is one way only.

sweetbee

I'm wondering if there isn't some kind of "9 year itch" I seem to notice a few posters with the same timespan thinking of leaving.

you don't hate living in the USA?

durham_lad

Tough decision Priv, I know that we went through something similar so have a little idea of what you are going through.

We moved to the USA when our children were aged 4 and 6 and were on work visas for 6 years before the decision point. In our case I was offered a permanent job with company sponsored Green Card, plus I had a guaranteed job back in the U.K. should I wish to return. We actually discussed it with the children who were dead keen on staying as they were both heavily involved in soccer and liked their friends and school.

So we stayed, got our Green Cards, 5 years later applied for citizenship which took about a year. The kids did just fine and got degrees and good jobs, but for us the itch to move home never went away. We were both able to retire at 55 and spent 6 years traveling before moving back to England last year. (And we love it).

Our daughter lives in California ( Santa Monica) and absolute loves it. Our son lives in Texas and plans to move back to England this October as he always loves coming here on vacations, has no love ties in Texas and lots of family here that he has stayed close with over the years.

No help to you I'm sure, just another story from a family that has been through the process, and everyone is different, even within the same family.

petitefrancaise

my tuppence worth.....

everyone in your family is progressing - OH at work, kids at school and sports. You, on the other hand aren't. Get the green card and get ready to go back to work. I've been lambasted on BE before about this but I know being a SAHM (done it) is rewarding and all that but you need something for you.

Did you really already put your house on the market? In your first post you mention this...sounds like you've already made your decision if you have!

Faybes

Yes - I guess that's true but and something that gives opportunity to go back if necessary. After moving the family across the world though, I can't imagine anyone would want to do that again within 12 months so I think we will end up saying goodbye to the Greencards anyway!