dunroving

- and your basis for this assertion is what, exactly? I'd agree, except I'd substitute "generalisation" in place of "psychology".

Seneca21

It was totally biased, and very clearly so. Just re-read it if unsure.

Seneca21

Hi Don

I am aware of the tonal intricacies of many Asian languages, including Chinese which I was taught at school, wherein many words have four meanings depending on tone: falling, rising, falling/rising, and flat. I know someone learning Thai because he has many friends there and he is doing OK, whether he achievs fluency - who knows?

All the best, Seneca

sallysimmons

To the OP, I hope you don't mind me being direct but you asked for advice and I do want to help. I think the first mistake was leaving Australia before you had given it a chance, and now you're about to compound that mistake by doing it again.

I have moved countries 3 times now and every time I had a period of being very unsettled and just wanting to run away. But it passed after about a year.

If you decide to go back to Australia again, I think you have to tell yourself that you will not budge again until at least 2 years have gone by. But I also think that if you explore other options in the UK, you might find you don't need to go.

Just give one or the other a chance. Feeling unhappy is a natural part of the upheaval of international moves.

Seneca21

+1. I also have tried to impart this advice. One must give it time before a rational and objective decision can be made - however unhappy. This is the important point! You have to go through the unhappiness or you are doomed to ping-pong for ever!!! The problem we have is people who think they're being helpful by saying "just do whatever makes you happy" and other relatively useless platitudes - but this is not helpful at all: sometimes you need the unhappy to get the happy.

zednought

Many years' of study.

The ground rules for psychology are pretty sound, e.g. cognition, clinical psychology et al. However, once you get beyond the basics most of it gets a little flaky to say the least. By the time Maslow and Freud arrive on the scene genuine demonstrable scientific evidence has (in my opinion) been left well behind. If it were possible to predict human behaviour that well we'd be living in a utopia where no crimes could be committed. The fundamental problem with psychology is that in the human psyche there are just too many independent variables for us to resolve. Thus, when we consider all the reasons a person may choose to leave his normal country of residence and attempt to integrate into another (foreign) society and all the reasons this may succeed or fail it is just not possible to offer any scientific basis for advising someone whether they will be successful in their endeavors. And what you certainly cannot do is say, "you need to stay for (n) months to be sure".

Everyone must follow their own impulses and logic at the end of the day.

Seneca21

I don't think they must, I think they can.

iaink

Problem is that logic and impulses are not necessarily going to pull you in the same direction. The logical thing to do is decide in advance to give it a year (or whatever), but when its really rough after 6 months those impulses are going to say "screw that" in some cases.

Many times you cant follow both logic and impulses, its got to be one or the other

Seneca21

But people fight impulses all the time - this is what we are socialised to do from the very youngest age. It's perfectly logical for me to steal anything I please, for example, if I know I can get away with it, because this will make me wealthier and stronger, but thanks to socialisation this impulse is repressed and instead the ethical framework instilled in me as an infant and through life ensures I do not steal, and instead seek to cooperate with other people.

In some people this impulse was not successfully repressed, and their socialisation was not successful. I know someone who has no qualms at all about defrauding HMRC and other government agencies. His unethical behaviour has bought him a nice big house in the country, two cars and an apartment London.

He has a lack of ethics, and does not understand the point of honesty and cooperation, because either he was not properly socialised or his impulses have over-ridden his socialisation.

We must fight impulses all the time - they rarely lead to good things, as my friend will no doubt discover when he gets caught.

dontheturner

Sounds a bit like marriage to me - (tongue in cheek comment!) - have a good argument, so you can make love later? Funny Eh? Merry Christmas Seneca! Don

sallysimmons

I would say follow neither logic nor impulse in these situations. Follow common sense instead.

When we go into strange situations, fear is a natural reaction. Our impulse when we face fear is to run. But when we are not in physical danger, the impulse is misleading.

Meantime logic would say 'Think rationally about which is the better place to live based on specific criteria and then choose based on logic.' But life can't be boiled down to criteria. It's more emotional than that.

On the other hand, common sense just says don't make any decisions while you're in the fear stage. Wait, enjoy the experience, live your life, let things calm down and once you're no longer acting on impulse or relying on logical analysis, you will know what to do.

jmh

I had a similar experience. The first few weeks are the honeymoon period (if you are lucky) then you start to notice everything your new country doesn't have that your old country did. It took me about a year to start appreciating some of the things the new country had and probably 3 years before I stopped having periods of homesickness. I'm about to go through the process again in the opposite direction (after 24 years in my adoptive country) and know that I will be have to be patient and go through the same process of adapting.

chrissystevo

Sally, I didn't ask for advice, I was merely outlining my situation in case it possibly helped anybody else who was thinking of returning to the UK.

chrissystevo

Strangely enough because this section of the site is entiled "Moving Back to the UK". This is what we did and I was merely offering my thoughts/opinions.

brits1

LOL, yes but they are moving back to Aus.....not back to the U.K....and as you said....this is the Moving back to the U.K...I for one know life is not always "Happy ever after" but you have to work with what life deals you at the time...if your not happy then you have to find a way that will make you happy/happier....not easy I know...but whats the alternative....