Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
Apr 8th 2014, 8:41 pm
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 71
Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
This has probably been talked about before.....My partner and I have lived in NZ for 18 years and have jostled with the idea of moving back for the last 5. No kids.. A simple question was put to us at dinner last night which (you might think daftly we have never asked)
"What would you do if one of you died?
We both looked at each other and said without doubt we would return to the UK.......It truly was a lightening bolt moment.
So now we are talking logistics.....again ....but with certainty.
"What would you do if one of you died?
We both looked at each other and said without doubt we would return to the UK.......It truly was a lightening bolt moment.
So now we are talking logistics.....again ....but with certainty.
Apr 8th 2014, 8:43 pm
#2
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 10
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
If my U.S husband died I would definitely move back to the U.K. He would also move there if alive! We can't meet the financial requirements necessary so I am stuck in the U.S. good luck to you..
Apr 8th 2014, 9:09 pm
#3
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,005
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
This has probably been talked about before.....My partner and I have lived in NZ for 18 years and have jostled with the idea of moving back for the last 5. No kids.. A simple question was put to us at dinner last night which (you might think daftly we have never asked)
"What would you do if one of you died?
We both looked at each other and said without doubt we would return to the UK.......It truly was a lightening bolt moment.
So now we are talking logistics.....again ....but with certainty.
"What would you do if one of you died?
We both looked at each other and said without doubt we would return to the UK.......It truly was a lightening bolt moment.
So now we are talking logistics.....again ....but with certainty.
Apr 8th 2014, 9:12 pm
#4
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 71
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
Party? who said it was a "dinner party"
Apr 8th 2014, 9:36 pm
#7
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 71
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
Lol
Apr 8th 2014, 9:47 pm
#8
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 71
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
Anyway my point being it had never occurred to me, call me an eternal optimist. It came about when a friend was discussing pros and cons.
Apr 8th 2014, 10:51 pm
#9
.
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Peterborough, Cambridgeshire
Posts: 2,744
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
If my husband died suddenly, I wouldn't be able to get back to Britain from New Zealand fast enough !
There would be absolutely nothing holding me here.
Although, it would be hard to leave the last house we ever shared together. Some women and men are widowed whilst living overseas, have their husband's or wife's ashes scattered nearby but the widow/er leaves the country in future years anyway.
They regret that their husbands' or wife's ashes are scattered where they used to live and can't visit that place regularly.
(I realise sometimes it can't be helped i.e. death on active service, died but circumstances mean the body can't be repatriated. I realise some people are buried at sea.)
Whilst I dread my husband's death, I really want us to return to Britain together. The idea of having to deal with his death, my grief and the moving process would be horrendous. I would be reluctant to leave the last house we ever shared together which would stall the selling and moving process.
There would be absolutely nothing holding me here.
Although, it would be hard to leave the last house we ever shared together. Some women and men are widowed whilst living overseas, have their husband's or wife's ashes scattered nearby but the widow/er leaves the country in future years anyway.
They regret that their husbands' or wife's ashes are scattered where they used to live and can't visit that place regularly.
(I realise sometimes it can't be helped i.e. death on active service, died but circumstances mean the body can't be repatriated. I realise some people are buried at sea.)
Whilst I dread my husband's death, I really want us to return to Britain together. The idea of having to deal with his death, my grief and the moving process would be horrendous. I would be reluctant to leave the last house we ever shared together which would stall the selling and moving process.
Last edited by Snap Shot; Apr 8th 2014 at 10:59 pm. Reason: finished the post properly
Apr 8th 2014, 11:11 pm
#10
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,005
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
If my husband died suddenly, I wouldn't be able to get back to Britain from New Zealand fast enough !
There would be absolutely nothing holding me here.
Although, it would be hard to leave the last house we ever shared together. Some women and men are widowed whilst living overseas, have their husband's or wife's ashes scattered nearby but the widow/er leaves the country in future years anyway.
They regret that their husbands' or wife's ashes are scattered where they used to live and can't visit that place regularly.
(I realise sometimes it can't be helped i.e. death on active service, died but circumstances mean the body can't be repatriated. I realise some people are buried at sea.)
Whilst I dread my husband's death, I really want us to return to Britain together. The idea of having to deal with his death, my grief and the moving process would be horrendous. I would be reluctant to leave the last house we ever shared together which would stall the selling and moving process.
There would be absolutely nothing holding me here.
Although, it would be hard to leave the last house we ever shared together. Some women and men are widowed whilst living overseas, have their husband's or wife's ashes scattered nearby but the widow/er leaves the country in future years anyway.
They regret that their husbands' or wife's ashes are scattered where they used to live and can't visit that place regularly.
(I realise sometimes it can't be helped i.e. death on active service, died but circumstances mean the body can't be repatriated. I realise some people are buried at sea.)
Whilst I dread my husband's death, I really want us to return to Britain together. The idea of having to deal with his death, my grief and the moving process would be horrendous. I would be reluctant to leave the last house we ever shared together which would stall the selling and moving process.
Apr 8th 2014, 11:29 pm
#11
.
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Peterborough, Cambridgeshire
Posts: 2,744
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
He's a returning New Zealander (I didn't see that one coming before we got married !) I knew he was a kiwi, I just didn't know what a returning kiwi really was. After nearly 20 years living in Britain he had the emotional idea of returning to New Zealand. I agreed mostly to humour him. Fair enough he's got family here i.e. his aged mother and his sister who is married with children.
Things haven't worked out as well as he wanted to living here in NZ. It's not that bad but on and off we discuss how or when we could return to Britain.
What would he do if I died here ? I don't know. I guess he would sell the house and move elsewhere but I doubt he would return to live in Britain. However, I could be wrong.....
Things haven't worked out as well as he wanted to living here in NZ. It's not that bad but on and off we discuss how or when we could return to Britain.
What would he do if I died here ? I don't know. I guess he would sell the house and move elsewhere but I doubt he would return to live in Britain. However, I could be wrong.....
Last edited by Snap Shot; Apr 8th 2014 at 11:35 pm. Reason: returning New Zealander
Apr 9th 2014, 12:05 am
#12
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 71
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
Ive lived in NZ for 25 Years in total and our last proposed move was mothballed because of illness.
I'm sorry your "not sure"........Maybe I should put it a little simpler next time.
I'm sorry your "not sure"........Maybe I should put it a little simpler next time.
Apr 9th 2014, 12:16 am
#13
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
I actually think it's a very pertinent question, and certainly concentrates the mind.
Apr 9th 2014, 12:25 am
#14
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 71
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
Yes Sally I thought so ... It was one of a series of questions that a friend was asking us as kind of a defining point.
It is something worth thinking about and to be honest I got a bit of a shock when my partner said " I would go straight home" meaning UK....without hesitation.
It is something worth thinking about and to be honest I got a bit of a shock when my partner said " I would go straight home" meaning UK....without hesitation.
Apr 9th 2014, 2:02 am
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 157
Re: Thee Question to ask about returning to the UK.
It is one of the reasons we are moving back, I could not imagine either of us being all alone on the other side of the world in old age. I can't see our children staying here once they are older either, there is so much more for them in the UK and Europe not to mention how much more affordable it is. We are in West Australia though not New Zealand.
But, more importantly if anything happened to me or my husband the kids have nobody here and would be alone, we honestly didn't realise how comforting it is to have family who care about you nearby.
We have had conversations with so many people who react to us going back with, "you must be mad..why?" but then within minutes all tell us they would if they could but circumstances mean they have no way of leaving.
One lady told us she had wanted to go back for 15 years but her husband (now ex) wouldn't and now it's too late as her son's are grown up, married and have kids here so she feels she couldn't leave them even though her heart is in the UK.
She also said that a lot of people when they get older go home to die as they feel a pull back to their roots! Very morbid but something people probably consider as they get older.
But, more importantly if anything happened to me or my husband the kids have nobody here and would be alone, we honestly didn't realise how comforting it is to have family who care about you nearby.
We have had conversations with so many people who react to us going back with, "you must be mad..why?" but then within minutes all tell us they would if they could but circumstances mean they have no way of leaving.
One lady told us she had wanted to go back for 15 years but her husband (now ex) wouldn't and now it's too late as her son's are grown up, married and have kids here so she feels she couldn't leave them even though her heart is in the UK.
She also said that a lot of people when they get older go home to die as they feel a pull back to their roots! Very morbid but something people probably consider as they get older.