stormyweather

HI
Aynone out their living in Perth WA who moved out from UK and are unsettled and have the dilemma of a teenager who hates the thought of moving back to UK.
We have been in Perth WA Joondalup for 4 years now and although we have good jobs nice house good friends etc we are still craving to move back to West Yorkshire UK. Although Perth is a great place it does not feel like home We miss the seasons Family and friends although we dont have a big family we miss the British culture and the scenery plus the easy travel. I think we go along trying to be very positive then we feel very trapped and want to move back. Our daughter is nearly 15 and loves it here moved out when she was 10 she has good friends likes school and spends most her time on MSM she is an only one and we have always had her best interests at heart as you do as a parent.

Please give feedback re anything simular

Amanda Perth WA Joondalup

Nu-Shooz

Hello Amanda. Just noticed you are from W.Yorks. That's where i am from, Pudsey. Although have lived in Bradford and Halifax.
Like you, we have a 16 year old daughter, but she hated it here in Perth and after 18 months we took her back to UK where she settled in well and completed her education.
We came back to Perth. (hub and 2 sons). I wouldn't and couldn't let my daughter dictate to us where we should live, so unfortunatley she went back alone. But we are trying to sell our house here in Perth to go back to UK to let our 2 sons complete their education in UK too. I also miss our old life-style.

By the way, i live near Joondalup

JAJ

And in what sense can you really say that her "best interests" are served by taking her out of what appears to be a perfectly good environment for her and back to something that she may hate.

And a cursory glance at the British media ought to show you that the United Kingdom has regressed economically and socially since 4 years ago and is probably going to face a very difficult few years in the immediate future.

Why not wait until she is a little older - like 18, 19 - before deciding whether or not to go back?

stormyweather

I supose its the fear she may not want to come with us back to the UK when she reaches 18 and as old as she is I dont think we could leave Perth to go back to the UK without her

stormyweather

Do you think your sons will get a better education in The UK ? How do you feel about going back you must like Perth to have come back. I supose I miss the local Pub and the decent curries, we have made friends and have good jobs I am a Nurse so I have made friends my partner plays soccer still even though he should have hung his boots up. We really dont know why we miss the UK but we do the only thing stopping us moving back is our daughter and yes I know she should not dictate but its hard. You probably live not far from us in Joondalup

quoll

One hesitates to say this but she is just a kid and had the situation been reversed and you were about to move to Aus she would probably be showing the same resistance to moving away from those close friendships she has been developing over the past 5 years. My only reservation would be that she might find the UK education system hard - she may well be behind her peers across the board academically and launching in to GCSEs and A levels may be very difficult for her. Aus education doesnt transfer well at that age IMHO. However, the longer you leave it the more difficult that is going to become!

Bottom line is that you are the adults who make the decisions and if it is best for the family as a whole then the whole family goes along with it.

LizaJane

Quoll, wanted to ask your advise, we have been in NZ for nearly 5yrs and are heading to the UK as soon as we can sell our house. Thought we needed to move before kids get to the stage that the OP is at with hers...

I have never been happy with NZ education and am concerned about their transition into UK schools. They are almost 11 and 13 and both quite positive about going back and are currently going through keystage 2 and 3 revision bks. In your opinion is there anything else you could suggest to make it easier for them?

Apologises Stormy Weather for the hijack

surfergav

I too have been in NZ for 5 years and have a 10 and a 12 year old but also have an 18 year old, they are all very happy to be returning to the uk as we are from the south west we are returning to a very nice place, as was mentioned before you are adults and you are doing what you think is right and its a tuff decision to make but if its how you feel you should go ahead with it, if however you have been in the country for 6 months you can put it down to homesickness for you reach a stage where that no longer counts, i live in tauranga and is a lovely place to be, just not for us anymore for several reasons,,,,,,,,,,,, good luck and be strong !



I have never been happy with NZ education and am concerned about their transition into UK schools. They are almost 11 and 13 and both quite positive about going back and are currently going through keystage 2 and 3 revision bks. In your opinion is there anything else you could suggest to make it easier for them?

Apologises Stormy Weather for the hijack [/QUOTE]

Blossom

When my daughter was 14 she went back to UK for 3 months to stay with grandparents and went to the local high school. She was in fact, equal to and advanced is some subjects to her peers in the UK school, so at some point the education system in Australia does catch up with the rest of the world, and I still believe that the kids in Australia do better long term than they do over here in the UK.

At aged 18/19 we moved back to the UK, daughter got herself a good job,and later went back to UNI as a mature aged student (otherwise would have cost her a fortune).

Now, with two children she has moved back to Australia, and as she grew up there she feels more at home in Aus than she did in UK despite the majority of her family being here. We miss them so much, but realise that it is the best thing for her and the children, they will have a better lifestyle and it worries me how the knife culture here is getting bigger and worse, and I am so thankful they are going to be out of it. Yes, I realise Aus has its problems too, but having lived there for 14 years I can still see the benefits of life there

My point is, even if you do move back to the UK with an unhappy teenager, and she appears to settle well (eventually), there is no guarantee she will stay there with you and may well move back once she reaches adulthood. You cannot stop the flow of time, and hand on heart, would you want to?

surfergav

home is where the heart is !!!

Nu-Shooz

I live in Carramar. My house is up for sale at the mo. Can't sell the bloody thing. We do like Perth, but we don't want to live here forever, so we are going back to UK as soon as it sells. If it doesn't sell then looks like we will be here forever
You only live once, life's too short to be unhappy. If we want to come back later on in our life's then we will. I'm up for anything.

Get in touch, we should meet.

JAJ

Are you really saying that you will not be able to live separately from her as an adult? At some stage she is going to make her own decisions in life.

Others will say that you can drag her back to the U.K. even if she doesn't want to go, and probably you can, but you then need to accept it may permanently damage her life if she doesn't settle. And don't be under any illusions that your relationship would be the same as before if that happens - it could lead to anything up to and including total estrangement.

Every situation is different but you need to ask yourself is it worth it?

Out of interest, have you got your Australian citizenship?

stormyweather

yes we have Australian Citzenship

stormyweather

My heart is in England but my daughters is here

JAJ

In that case you have more options than otherwise, in that it obviously will be possible for your daughter to return later on. So she can't accuse you of cutting her off from a future in Australia.

That said, even with the above issue not a problem, age 15 is a difficult age to make a move anywhere (especially if she is leaving her "home") and it's something you should think carefully about before doing.

One further problem is that if she hasn't got 3 years residence in the U.K. at the time, she will face overseas fees for further education.