countryroads

After years of living in paradise the dream is over. What started out as the adventure of a life time has definitely turned sour.

I left the UK quite a few years ago to move to Indonesia. I decided that a change in pace was required and that I was sick of the rat race. I had a good job and a house that I had paid the mortgage on almost completely. So I sold up and moved on out.

My then partner (now spouse and father of my 2 children) is on the papers of all of the assets that I have abroad. This has worked quite well for a number of years. Until I found out that he is a philandering arse hole.

So, it looks like I will be moving home with my 2 kids and nothing else. This is the worse case scenario. Best case is that everything is amicable and I get some cash to buy a house in the uk for us.

I have told my family and for the most part they are being very supportive. They want me to live close to one or other of them so that they can help with the transition back to the uk. Unfortunately it looks as if this will not be possible as they both live in areas where the house prices are definitely out of my budget, even in a best case scenario.

So, it looks as if I will be moving back to a deprived area or a one bedroomed flat near family. Most of my friends have moved on with their lives - although they were happy to come and visit in the tropics. I am not sure what support network I am going to go back to when I get there.

My life seems to be falling apart and I can't help thinking that I should have kept hold of my assets in the uk. Hindsight is 20/20....

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Wub

You have created a very successful life overseas and you can do it again back home. Yes, given the set of circumstances outlined, initially it will be hard but you do come over as someone who has strength of character and the willpower to make things happen.

With family connections who want to help you readjust - you're in a better position to reinvent yourself than many here.

If you find that money to purchase a property is an issue, you could look at shared ownership properties as an alternative. Rightmove have many of these on their website all over the country including very affluent areas in the south east.

All the very best to you. You can do this.

countryroads

Thanks Wub. I think that one of the hardest things is feeling isolated right now. I know that this is a short term thing and I can live with it - but I can't wait to be back and be able to pop down to Sainbury's and get a pint of milk, instead of a 2 hour drive to the nearest shop that stocks it!! And bring on the chocolate!!! and wine...... yes, lots of wine please....

Fingers crossed and I will be able to sell the business and the house come home not too worse for wear (excluding heart that has been trampled on). But I am still young (ok, just the wrong side of 35 and the right side of 40). You are right. I can do this.

Mummy in the foothills

Good luck with the move. I hope it goes smoothly. Is the ex cooperating? Do you need permission from hims to remove the kids from the country you are resident in? Make sure you do it all legally so he can't come back and remove them later.
I think Don (another poster here) used to live in Indonesia till recently, maybe he has some info for you about moving and things to do/keep/remember.

Sunshine111

great advice. Just to echo the same. Strength of character, resilience and determination are a powerful combination. Just do day by day- it will come together.

countryroads

Thanks Mummy (in the foothills) The kids actually only have British passports and are here on the same working visa as I am. We never went the route of getting me a residents visa etc (thank god).

Squirrel

You would still need written permission to take them with you. At least I think so.

penguinsix

Indonesia is not a signatory to the Hague Convention on International Child Abductions. Dealing with the custody issues there might be slightly different from other nations.

OP: do you have permission to take the children? I would not put much weight behind the mere fact they have a British passport. That might not hold much weight in an Indonesian court if there is a fight over custody.

These are the US guidelines on child abduction and Indonesia. May be helpful.

http://travel.state.gov/abduction/co...untry_497.html

penguinsix

p.s. you might want to call these folks for more info on custody issues.

http://www.reunite.org/index.asp

bandrui

I second what the poster said re: you being a strong character who will definitely make it back in the UK but I am haunted by a couple of questions. Are you not entitled to half of the property you have in Indonesia? Have you talked to a lawyer there to find out what your legal rights are?
I imagine that you are in a very emotional place right now, at least I would be and I would want to get the H..l out of there as fast as I could but take time to find out what your legal property rights are before leaving. Even though you are only on a work visa you may still have rights.

Here's a link from a quick Google on marital property in Indonesia which ironically appears to mirror that in California :

http://law.wlu.edu/deptimages/Law%20...ammack64-4.pdf