British Expats

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-   -   to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/sum-up-why-do-so-many-return-oz-559751/)

northernbird Sep 7th 2008 12:19 am

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 

Originally Posted by LouiseD (Post 6756303)
I think that many people go there thinking that it's some kind of paradise - me included :o They get there and realise that you still have to work, still have to pay the bills and there still aren't enough hours in the day.

I was watching that stupid Wanted Down Under series yesterday and a butcher bloke and his family were emigrating because he worked long hours at his own business in the UK. Do they really think that people in Oz who have their own businesses work less hours?

The butcher and his wife are very good friends of mine. When he started work here for a very reputable butcher near the City he was working daft hours, worse than the UK to be honest. His quality of life was zero. He left his job and has just started training to be a police officer.

MrsB Sep 7th 2008 12:22 am

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 

Originally Posted by spain (Post 6753563)
friends of ours have arrived in Oz this week to start their new lives, just reading on here that a lot of you have/are returning from down under and just wondered if you could sum up the main reasons for going back


Because when you get here....and start living the "so-called" dream...you realise that Life is Life wherever you are.

So as "Life" as it is....continues....you start to realise everything that you have given up, e.g family, friends, opportunities to travel to the rest of the world easily, good education, etc etc - well lets just say there's a gaping hole in your life.

All you do is just exchange one set of shortcomings for another set of shortcomings!

And what's worse....is that you have to live life as a "Pom" or as an "expat" i.e - you never really fit in or belong, so you always have a "label". You never escape the "so how long have you been here", "are you staying here", "so do you like living in Australia?" questions and you have to repeat the answers over and over. As said on another thread - I always make family the excuse when I tell people I'm going home, otherwise if you start saying what isn't so good here - you get another label - a "whingeing" pom.

And one other question I get when people find out we are renting is "oh...so haven't you decided where you are going to buy yet", I say that we decided not to buy because I realised I didn't want to live here! And the other person always looks surprised and gives a big "gasp" as if it is so really incredible that a Pom does not want to spend the rest of her life stuck out here.

At home we can do normal things like take kids to visit grandparents, walk to the corner shop with them for a treat, socialise with our friends who don't ask us why we are here, why we are renting, do we like it here etc - they take us as we are, and we can have a good old laugh at things with proper "humour".

Not only that, you obviously get the Poms here who have decided that is it for them, but you then have to listen to them running down the UK "in order for them to feel good" about the decision they have made!

Sorry - but it just isn't for me and never will be!

Baby75 Sep 7th 2008 2:19 am

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 

Originally Posted by 3 go mad in Adelaide (Post 6754394)
I just feel like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole. I don't belong here, I'm unhappy without my F&F around me and they are unhappy without us.

Nice weather and lovely views do not make up for the people in your life.: I agree :)(




thats how i feel so home sick now esp after having a baby here plus ild agree with what others have said about belonging

beatle Sep 7th 2008 3:48 am

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 
Port Power and The Crows make me want to go home:D God it's sooo boring.

Seriously family/friends, nothing else matters.

sfr09 Sep 7th 2008 9:43 am

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 
Thought Oz was great when we first got here but was alot younger then and I think things change and when you have a family yourself they miss out on cousins, grandparents etc and everyone is right beaches, pools in the backyard cant make up for having no family around. I am also sick of spending my holidays going back to visit and hate the 24 hr flight. I want to meet the family in the pub for sunday lunch and be able to spend some time with them before they are too old.

I know my oh would say he is sick of turning on the TV and all your hear about is AFL and NRL , we have been here long time, have always thought one day would like to go back but over the last couple of years the feeling has got stronger and we want to do it now before our son starts High school and wont want to go

manc1 Sep 7th 2008 11:16 pm

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 
[QUOTE=Mrs Best;6757268]
Not only that, you obviously get the Poms here who have decided that is it for them, but you then have to listen to them running down the UK "in order for them to feel good" about the decision they have made!


Ain't that the truth. There's nothing worse than having to listen to a pom constantly put down their country of birth, just to condone the decision they've made. :thumbdown:

nik04 Sep 8th 2008 1:13 am

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 
I think all in all people move to Aus to live what they think is their dream i.e sunshine, beaches, big house. Then when it happens they just realise those things just are not important without family and friends to share it with and things start to loose their appeal very quickly.

alexleeson Sep 8th 2008 2:31 am

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 
You are right on... having a big house, fancy car and seeing nice bits of Australia is great at the beginning, but the novelty does wear off. You realise just how far Australia is from home. And I think I will never feel Australian. The more I live here, the more British I feel.

I have decided to go back after three years, and rather daftly only a year after we moved into our big fancy house that we had constructed (way too big to maintain btw). When I realised that we cannot afford to go back to UK and Europe even for a vacation for at least three years - I am at the point, I have to go back. I came here to be better off - not financially squeezed and marooned!

quoll Sep 8th 2008 7:23 am

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 

Originally Posted by TraceyW (Post 6757149)
Bloody hell Quoll, you have some serious holidays mate!!!!:rofl:

I knew within a couple of weeks that this wasn't right for me here. It's called gut reaction. You just know don't you?

But hey ho, 4 years down and I'm on my way home in exactly 32 days time. Oh heck....hyperventilating again........:eek::rofl:

Nah, I'm just a slow learner:rofl:

Hutch Sep 8th 2008 2:12 pm

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 

Originally Posted by manc1 (Post 6759819)

Originally Posted by Mrs Best (Post 6757268)
There's nothing worse than having to listen to a pom constantly put down their country of birth, just to condone the decision they've made. :thumbdown:


a) If they dislike it they have just as much right to 'put down' the country as you do with regard Australia and b) Why does it necessarily follow that they only do so to 'condone' their decision?

Why can't it just be that they think the UK's shit? Opinions and arseholes - we all have them, remember?

Hertford Sep 8th 2008 2:28 pm

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 
I have this same problem. I immigrated to Canada four years ago, with my Mum, Dad and sister, but two years down the line, I went back to visit relatives for six weeks, and I entered a state of depression upon leaving English soil. It took just over a month and a half for me to settle down again. I have just come back from another visit for seven weeks, and once again I feel myself loosing concentration already. I have to go to school in half hour!
I'd like to persuade my parents to move us back to England, but my dad won't seem to budge. I have told him how I feel and I am awaiting his reply later on.
When I'm in England, I feel rather safe, secure, and at home, I do not feel safe or at home here. I feel secure (A bit too secure perhaps!), and that's it. I'm not happy.
Problem is, we can afford to move back after we've sold our house here, but Dad does not like all the taxes, the congestion and all that. I think our hometown in Ware, Hertfordshire is a lovely place, Dad doesn't.

ketty Sep 8th 2008 2:33 pm

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 
experience of live.
So for some people its good to know where you belong to.
Better going back after several years, than missing the experience.
What could be mor boring looking back in the age of 75 and tell yourself: I missed so much, turn back the time.

ABCDiamond Sep 8th 2008 11:08 pm

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 

Originally Posted by spain (Post 6753563)
friends of ours have arrived in Oz this week to start their new lives, just reading on here that a lot of you have/are returning from down under and just wondered if you could sum up the main reasons for going back

For me it was because Australia was not Britain with better weather, it was a different country with different ways of doing things to the way I was used to. I found myself complaining when the Aussies didn't do things the way I was used to.

However I did come back to Australia again, once I decided that I was actually looking for a "change", and I didn't just want Britain with sunshine.
Once I decided that I was the one that had to adapt to a new country, Australia, and not expect Australia to adapt to me, it became a great place to live.

Only about 70% of British migrants actually do stay in Australia for life, and it does make sense that a number do prefer to move on, whether to return to the UK or find pastures anew ?

ABCDiamond Sep 8th 2008 11:41 pm

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 

Originally Posted by Mrs Best (Post 6757268)
And what's worse....is that you have to live life as a "Pom" or as an "expat" i.e - you never really fit in or belong, so you always have a "label".

I do strongly disagree with that.

Once I did my "return home for good" trip, and then came back to Australia with a different attitude, I now do feel that I fit in.

That may not apply to everyone, but a lot of Brits do integrate into Australian life, and many do it quicker than I did.
I spent 10 years here before I decided to stop complaining that Australia was different to the UK, and after my trip "home", I accepted the fact that Australia IS different to the UK, and I came back, because I did actually prefer it to the UK. It did take me that trip though, to realise it.

manc1 Sep 9th 2008 4:39 am

Re: to sum up...why do so many return from Oz ?
 

Originally Posted by Hutch (Post 6761755)
a) If they dislike it they have just as much right to 'put down' the country as you do with regard Australia and b) Why does it necessarily follow that they only do so to 'condone' their decision?

Why can't it just be that they think the UK's shit? Opinions and arseholes - we all have them, remember?


I happen to know the people I'm talking about. Talk to them some other time and they're telling you about wonderful things they did and saw while in the UK on holiday. Mention your returning to the UK to live and you've opened up a whole different can of worms. Opinions and arseholes just about sums it up.


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