Lara45

We've been here in the US for almost five and a half years - came in on a K1 and K2, and have our 10 year greencards in hand. But I'm not happy - in fact I'm downright bloody fed up of it. I've given it a fair go and it just hasn't worked out. Problem now is how are we going to get back home. Husband, USC, will be coming but financially it's one horrible mess.

The house that we bought at the end of 2007 is now worth $18,000 less ... there's debt that has acccumulated, most of which is on my husband's side. I'm 52, I can't give it another couple of years - I have to get back asap to secure employment otherwise I'm never going to be able to find work back in the UK.

Husband is almost 59, eligible to take his early retirement - roughly $2000 per month but, once he takes that we get no medical/dentail cover.

Is Bankruptcy the answer?? Just hand the keys back to the bank?? And if we did that, how would that effect getting a spousal visa for my husband? I don't like the idea of doing that at all ... but I just can't see how we can possibly apply for a visa with all of this hanging around us.

Does anyone have any suggestions??? Any at all???

cricket1again

How much have you got in total net assets worth? That's the capital in your pension/super, house, car plus liquifiable asset?

dave99

Sell everything, if theres debt well screw it let them try to pusue you for it when you leave no forwarding address or details.

Sell everything, get on a plane and fly back thats how you do it

Lara45

Cricket - the only things I possess are my furniture, bought in '07, my car which I'm still paying off - one year to go. I don't have any assets. We've lost money in the house - if we sold it - we'd end up owing the bank.

I'm making this quick as I'm i work .. Only pension we would have is my husband's - I don'thave a pension etc etc.

HighSpeedGrandma

In a very similar situation. I am 53, our house is worth $165,000 LESS than it was 2 years ago, and I want to go home, but can't afford to because hubby incurred a huge debt on his credit cards which we had to pay off with a second mortgage. So, I feel your pain.

Lara45

It sounds as though we're in a similar position .. my husband has god knows what on his credit cards and there's no way these can be paid off. He's currently in a DMCC but at this rate it'll take years to pay off. In the meantime I'm getting older and I can't put off moving back home anymore. I'm beginning to think the best thing we can do is just hand the keys back to the bank but as I'm going to have to sponser him to get to the UK I'm not sure how this would look when applying for a visa for him. Does the Embassy even do a credit check???

We just can't survive here anymore ... I have to think of my daughter and her future too. The idea of just walking away, leaving behind debts etc, Im not taking lightly but on the other hand what do I do? Sacrifice my daughter and her future too??

FlyergirlUK

AFAIK the Embassy doesn't do a credit check but you will have to show that you have sufficient funds and/or a job that will keep you off the breadline plus somewhere to live.

Have a look here for information on getting a visa for your husband.

exvj

Only a certain kind of person can do that and live happily ever after. I would do the official bankrupcy thing so at least I had a clear concience.
When my son went to live in Tenerife, he sold me his telly for cash. Turns out (years later) it was on hire purchase. He lives his life like that.
It's him that his screwed now because everyone knows what he is like and nobody will help him out any more - honesty IS always the best policy.

Bevm

Lara, It seems the plain fact is you're broke. Any sense of having assets like the house isn't really true, especially with credit card debt as well. With the economy the way it is, your situation isn't likely to get better. Sorry to be blunt, but that's pretty well what you've said, yes?

Can you go back alone to the UK and get a job? In the meantime, your husband can do the bankruptcy thing. Then, when he's clear, he can join you?

I'm not sure if that's practical or doable, but I think it's what I'd try. If it helped with the bureaucracy, I'd act as if we were separating. Then later, a wonderful reconciliation!

Hugs on the situation.

Bev



Bev

cricket1again

If things are as bad as you say, then you need to preserve what few assets you have for starters.

It sounds like your husband is in denial about what's owed? Maybe I'm reading your post wrong, but you won't move forwards if he's in la la land not facing facts.

You either need to take control yourself, perhaps going back home to get a job would be a good move, or sit down together and work out exactly what's owed and what's available to use as leverage to move you forwards.

By leverage, I mean don't use what funds you do have to pay off debt. Use these to get yourself back home and into a better situation with work.

Then as you're making plans in that direction, contact all the people you owe money to and see if you can work out a repayment plan that suits all.

I wouldn't recommend running away or not paying. Bad karma for a start. Cut your credit cards up and start saving whatever and wherever you can.

exvj

I wouldn't have thought the Embassy would do a credit check - but they would want to see a statement of your assets/income or get a surety or guarantor. Show that he won't become a public charge. I am pretty sure the Us Embassy in London didnt do a UK credit check on me, and I used my assets rather than my USC's assets to satisfy them.

Yes it looks like you might have to go on ahead and get a place and a job and then it will be much easier from all sorts of angles

Local Authority/health authority etc type jobs are always a lot easier for 'older' people. In the 1995 recession I was told I would never work again as I was too old at 47. They wanted people around 27 years old with 3 european languages, a masters degree and top 8 firm experience, 100 million turnover company experience at board level etc etc etc. I sat at home with the heat off all year and wrote 750 applications - zero response.
I got back in by doing temporary work for a government 'quango' and then got permanent, and then got back into private business. Two of my friends did that route too in the last few years. These recessions are bummers but they pass

cricket1again

Just to give you a few positives, not that I am any kind of financial advisor but I run a business and have to manage and invest money wisely.

1. You're not unique in your situation so don't feel bad. The current economic crisis has caught a lot of people out and many are struggling to repay debt. Admittedly, they should not have got into debt they couldn't service but no point crying over spilt milk as they say.

2. Don't worry about your age and finding a job. The goal posts are moving mostly because of the financial global crisis. People are going to have to work longer and retire later so if you have skills, you'll get a job.

3. Take control now, even if it means, taking control away from your husband altogether and taking the reins of the finances. Otherwise, a bit like an alcoholic, if he can't take control, and you don;t either, you'll both sink.

4. Talk a debt counsellor and look at ways to start addressing the problems. Work with people who can help you solve the problem and forget ways of running away from it.

5. Show creditors you intend to pay. If you leave the country, stay in touch with them and offer to pay something. It will make a huge difference if they can see you are trying.

6. Look at the skills you'v e got and think about what you could do for work. Have a look on the internet for jobs in the UK and start planning and thinking about where you want to be in 5 years time.

Hope this gives you some starters anyway.

When I first came to Australia nearly 6 years ago, I gave up everything in England in support of my then Australian husband and his career. I placed my entire trust and life in his hands.
What did he do? Not long after we moved here, he emptied the bank accounts, froze my access to any money, left me stranded in a foreign country with no family and no money, then he took me to court for 70% of everything knowing I had no way of surviving.
During the 12 months it took to fight (and win), he tried to kill me, he recruited mates to help bully me into agreeing to a pittance and I had to live in my car for my own safety at times. Australia isn't sympathetic or friendly so I was very much alone.

I manage to survive and stick it out and I got 50% of everything which by the time lawyers had finished wasn't much. I had to stay in Australia to create a business and income to take back to England and I am flying home at last on the 10th August. If I had enough dynamite, i'd blow Australia into the next world but my son still lives here so i can;'t.

Anyway, today, 3 years on, I have now got 2 businesses, property, a new English husband and a life waiting for me back in the UK.

It's important that you don't block your own escape route by becoming bitter and blaming others for your problem otherwise doing so will turn into an excuse for not taking any action. If you do this, you'll stay stuck so forget your husbands debt and his lack of control/organisation and you pick up the ball and start running with it.

Trust me, you will get there.

You can do anything if you have faith in yourself and put together a plan.

exvj

Superb post and what guts you have

Sometimes we get backed into a corner and we just have to fight to get back on our feet. I am impressed. When I was 36, my net worth was minus £500 (the balance on my credit card). I had lived in a council house up to then and in November 1983 I was living in a 1 room apartment in Bradford West Yorkshire which is the pits if you have ever been there. In 1995 I was shivering in a cold damp house that I couldnt heat or sell and I had been unemployed for a year. Now I am living in luxury in Washington State and worried about how to spend all my wad before I die ! No situation is hopeless.

I have tried buying my 5 lines of cocaine snorting and 3 bottles of wine for breakfast son, 2 nice buses for his business and going to Tenerife to set him up with a computer etc and flying him to Washington and the UK many times, but he says he can no longer hide his contempt for me. He can get stuffed. I think I will sponsor one of these African kids who deserve help and would appreciate it. I will holiday in England in comfort really frequently every year until its all spent.

Bet you dont even notice the rain. Bet you run about in it

best wishes !

geeandtee

It looks like I may be in a similar situation.

I have just learned today that our Adjustment of Status application has been denied so we may have to return to the UK.

Our house is worth about $20k less than the mortgage on it. No realistic chance of it selling for the value of the mortgage because you can buy a newer home (repossessed) for a song around here.

Car is paid off, CC debt not too bad. Main problem is the two dogs, three cats and budgie.

Am sick and tired of it all. I was feeling homesick, but not thathomesick.

Bob

Just wondering if you've got your USC yet? Might be worth getting...especially going on the morbid side that your other half carps it, you'll be much better off than not from a tax/pension point of view.