janeyray

I must admit that this is one of the reasons for our return. Hubby is very laid back and is happy to stay or leave. I find the life mundane and very boring here.

I think a lot of people who are back in the UK or about to come out, think as I did. That a life by the sea with hot sunny weather is an everlasting extention of a holiday abroad. I couldn't have been further from the truth.

If your bought up here in Oz then to most Aussies it's all they know and they love it.
But I know a better, more entertaining and far less boring life back in the UK!

ladyofthelake

I fear that, having moved 55 times and failed to feel like you belong anywhere, that you may never actually achieve this. Places do not feel like home straight away, imo it needs a longer period of time to develope. This doesn't happen if you move around before these feelings are given time to set in.
Having not lived in the UK since you were a little girl, it will be very difficult for you, and I doubt very much that it will feel like home straight away. I hope, if you do move back, that you give yourself more time to settle, and make it your last move.

DaisyNZ

What I don't understand about people on here, is their lack of understanding about how people are different. In every aspect of our lives we live according to this. We vote different parties, we eat different food, we buy different clothes, we drive different cars. So why can't people understand that Oz/NZ is going to work for some and not for others. Just because one person feels at home in their new country doesn't mean that if the next person stays a year or 2 longer they will feel the same. It is so obvious to me, why can't everyone else see it. It's like everyone is so desperate to make the others feel the same as them. It's not going to happen. We spent 8 years living in the middle of a remote national park here in NZ. My hubby loved it, I ended up hating it. Does that mean that if I'd lived there another month, or another year I'd have learnt to make it 'home'. Of course not, and it's the same with countries. It depends on personality and upbringing. I've been here 11 years, one more year will make no difference. It won't make me love it more or less, NZ is NZ, and England is England. I understand why lots of Poms love living here in Paradise, but I also understand why many of us (praps the more sentimental ones amongst us) still miss home even though we live in paradise. Surely it's just common sense.

JayJay

Daisy,
I agree with what you say, choice is a very individual thing, and you make your decisions for yourself and your own family, these choices however may be totally wrong for somebody else.
Everybody who has shown the energy and initiative to move to another country can gain from the experience, even if it's only to come to the realisation that moving is not for them.
I've been reading the threads on this seemingly endless discussion as to who is right & who is wrong regarding leaving the UK and whether to return there or not.
It seems to me that a lot of the posters who return to the UK are very active in the forum before their return and then go quiet. In contrast a lot of folks who've remained in their adopted country still quite active, in some cases railing against people who want to return. (probably a sweeping generalisation but just calling it as I see it)
Just an observation but I would have thought that if the adopted country is so great, you would be too busy enjoying it to spend time on a forum dissuading others from leaving.

DaisyNZ

I think you are right in many ways, I certainly sought out this website because I was unsettled and wanted to spend time reading this kind of thing. But on the other hand, during my 11 years here, I have met many, and I mean a lot, of people from England who are extremely happy with their lives here and don't want to return to live back there. I know for a fact that those friends of mine would never have the time or inclination to be doing this. They are just getting on with their lives and enjoying it, and I'd almost be embarrassed to tell them about it because they would have no interest at all. Just my perceptions anyway.

Taffyles

A lot of people return because they did buy the dream and the hype and find the reality of living in the US is a lot different. Here in FL we get so many people coming, who based their view of America on their two weeks holiday in Disneyworld- those are the ones who come in for big shock, and they are often the first ones back on the plane home. Many don't have a realistic view of the country before they come out here, and the media is a lot to blame for this- Brits are often told how life is so much better in the US.
But in the 12 years I've been here and seen so many people go back home- its for a variety of reasons- education is a biggy, family another one, and not making it- many have had businesses hit the wall, some couldn't take the stress of the Immigration process, others simply don't like the lifestyle and aren't happy here.

Pulaski

I don't know if you meant to, but you have turned my comment around by 180º. When I said "buy the dream" I meant embrace the differences in your new home, not harp on endlessly about how things were better back home.

Sure, things are different here, very different, and any one who takes emigration seriously would realise that. Living in a foreign country is not like watching TV, you can't just turn it off and return to reality.

I never cease to be amazed by the number of people who uproot their life, and often that of their family, and then just a year or so later decide that they don't like being 4,000, or 12,000 miles from their friends and relatives.

If you spend every Saturday afternoon watching soccer with your father/ brother/ friends or shopping with your mother/sister/ friends, then the very least you should do is ask yourself how important that is to you before you take the not insignificant step of moving thousands of miles to another country!
Is that so unreasonable a view?

ladyofthelake

Well said. Couldn't agree more with that statement.

daisymoll

The thing is though until you try you can never possibly know how you will feel. We honestly thought that in this day of increased technology and communication systems that it would be tons easier than it has been. We thought we would be able to hop on a plane twice a year, we didn't realise how expensive that would be as we thought our cost of living would go down dramtically that we would have so much extra cash. We were wrong but we are still glad we have done it, coz we have learnt so much about ourselves and about what is important to us in life...