Starting to evaluate our options - yikes!
Apr 27th 2009, 2:32 pm
#1
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Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Houston, TX
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Starting to evaluate our options - yikes!
Hi all!
Have been trawling this particular section of the site over the last couple of weeks, I think the title of my thread sums up where I'm at right now. I've said before that the decision to relocate out of the UK seemed like a five minute one, compared to the decision as to whether or not to return - weird!
Some of you will recall my posts in Nov/Dec 2008 expressing my homesickness for the UK. Got lots of great advice at that time, and even though it's an emotional decision, I was able to logically look at why I was feeling that way at that stage etc. One piece of advice I was given was to book a trip home (having not been for a couple of years which was adding to my homesick feeling) and I have done just that - I leave on Thursday of this week for a whole 9 days with my friends and family
The reason for posting at this particular time is that, although I have no idea what the outcome will be, I do believe we are really in the stages of evaluating our options to return home. Me moreso than my husband (although he even now seems to have more of an open mind to the idea), or my kids (13 and 10) who will probably have a wobbly fit at the thought!
My desire to move home seems to be increasing, but interestingly the reasons for doing so seem to be changing from the very obvious (and still number one) of friends and family, to a rather deeper concern I have of the culture and beliefs my children are adapting in their formative years. I love alot of things about the US, and as an immigrant here, respect the fact I decided to live in their Country. However, there are some core beliefs/actions, whatever you call them, that I don't like and I would rather my children not adopt them as their own.
My main concerns for moving home would, I guess be threefold:
1. My son's schooling as he will be 14 in August and has been in the US Public system. Moving him back to UK State system at critical GCSE years might be extremely difficult and detrimental for him.
2. Finances are very tight and finding money to move home, and then funds to help us settle would be very hard
3. Petrified by the thought of doing it all and then reverse pining for here!
So, this is a heads-up fellow Britishexpats, that I will no doubt be calling on you over the coming weeks as the decision ebbs and flows! Thank you all in advance for your help
Have been trawling this particular section of the site over the last couple of weeks, I think the title of my thread sums up where I'm at right now. I've said before that the decision to relocate out of the UK seemed like a five minute one, compared to the decision as to whether or not to return - weird!
Some of you will recall my posts in Nov/Dec 2008 expressing my homesickness for the UK. Got lots of great advice at that time, and even though it's an emotional decision, I was able to logically look at why I was feeling that way at that stage etc. One piece of advice I was given was to book a trip home (having not been for a couple of years which was adding to my homesick feeling) and I have done just that - I leave on Thursday of this week for a whole 9 days with my friends and family
The reason for posting at this particular time is that, although I have no idea what the outcome will be, I do believe we are really in the stages of evaluating our options to return home. Me moreso than my husband (although he even now seems to have more of an open mind to the idea), or my kids (13 and 10) who will probably have a wobbly fit at the thought!
My desire to move home seems to be increasing, but interestingly the reasons for doing so seem to be changing from the very obvious (and still number one) of friends and family, to a rather deeper concern I have of the culture and beliefs my children are adapting in their formative years. I love alot of things about the US, and as an immigrant here, respect the fact I decided to live in their Country. However, there are some core beliefs/actions, whatever you call them, that I don't like and I would rather my children not adopt them as their own.
My main concerns for moving home would, I guess be threefold:
1. My son's schooling as he will be 14 in August and has been in the US Public system. Moving him back to UK State system at critical GCSE years might be extremely difficult and detrimental for him.
2. Finances are very tight and finding money to move home, and then funds to help us settle would be very hard
3. Petrified by the thought of doing it all and then reverse pining for here!
So, this is a heads-up fellow Britishexpats, that I will no doubt be calling on you over the coming weeks as the decision ebbs and flows! Thank you all in advance for your help
Apr 27th 2009, 6:47 pm
#2
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 456
Re: Starting to evaluate our options - yikes!
I think that you're doing the main thing, which is thinking about it. It maybe that it's better for you to stay, better for you to go or better to delay things.
For me moving out of the UK was a five minute thing as well as I always had it in the back of my mind if I wanted to come back I could. I was single and no major ties, or so I thought.
Fast forward and now that I'm married and realise that I'm missing my parents, siblings, neices and nephews far more than I thought I would. Also, I've seen a couple of times now, where friends that are abroad too, have had family members pass away in their home countries. I want to go home.
I think that you're doing the right thing of listing the things that are making you nervous about making the move. Is it something that you could slowly start going down the list and deal with?
For example, it sounds like your son is in the year before the GCSE classes start. Do you think it would be better for him to go back now or at some later date? If you think at some later date, when would that be?
Good luck.
For me moving out of the UK was a five minute thing as well as I always had it in the back of my mind if I wanted to come back I could. I was single and no major ties, or so I thought.
Fast forward and now that I'm married and realise that I'm missing my parents, siblings, neices and nephews far more than I thought I would. Also, I've seen a couple of times now, where friends that are abroad too, have had family members pass away in their home countries. I want to go home.
I think that you're doing the right thing of listing the things that are making you nervous about making the move. Is it something that you could slowly start going down the list and deal with?
For example, it sounds like your son is in the year before the GCSE classes start. Do you think it would be better for him to go back now or at some later date? If you think at some later date, when would that be?
Good luck.
Apr 27th 2009, 7:35 pm
#3
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Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 513
Re: Starting to evaluate our options - yikes!
[QUOTE=Dave_Was;7519862]. Do you think it would be better for him to go back now or at some later date? If you think at some later date, when would that be?
Hi Dave,
Yeah this is such a major point that I've been thinking of all sorts of ways around this. I'm looking at what we could do from here to start working with the British curriculum in conjunction with what he does in the US at the moment. I've contacted a few States schools in the UK to ask their advice so am waiting to see what they say. I figured even if I get a tutor here (maybe from one of the International Schools) to sit with him once a week to go through some basics, it might help at least a little. I'm so out of touch in relation to when he would actually start the specific GCSE work as well so am trying to figure that one out too!
I really do think the decision to move home can be a long drawn out one, and I'm concsious that I don't want to be a "flip flop" poster about what I want to do! That's why I thought I'd class it as "evaluating options" - basically posh way of saying "have no idea what the hell to do"!
Thanks for your thoughts though, and I hope that a direction becomes clear for you too with your own situation.
Hi Dave,
Yeah this is such a major point that I've been thinking of all sorts of ways around this. I'm looking at what we could do from here to start working with the British curriculum in conjunction with what he does in the US at the moment. I've contacted a few States schools in the UK to ask their advice so am waiting to see what they say. I figured even if I get a tutor here (maybe from one of the International Schools) to sit with him once a week to go through some basics, it might help at least a little. I'm so out of touch in relation to when he would actually start the specific GCSE work as well so am trying to figure that one out too!
I really do think the decision to move home can be a long drawn out one, and I'm concsious that I don't want to be a "flip flop" poster about what I want to do! That's why I thought I'd class it as "evaluating options" - basically posh way of saying "have no idea what the hell to do"!
Thanks for your thoughts though, and I hope that a direction becomes clear for you too with your own situation.
Apr 27th 2009, 9:59 pm
#4
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 456
Re: Starting to evaluate our options - yikes!
My recollection is, and I don't think that the situation has changed, that the students start their two year GCSE's curriculum at the age of 14 and go on to sit the exams at 16. At which point they decide on whether they'll go into work, vocational eduction, A Level's etc.
The standard route to university was to start the A Levels at 16 and take the exams at 18 and then either take a gap year or go straight to university.
Another thing to note is that you have to be resident in the UK for three years to qualify for home fees for the universities.
Good luck in all this. It's difficult enough to make the move back without kids, I can only imagine how much more difficult it is with them.
The standard route to university was to start the A Levels at 16 and take the exams at 18 and then either take a gap year or go straight to university.
Another thing to note is that you have to be resident in the UK for three years to qualify for home fees for the universities.
Good luck in all this. It's difficult enough to make the move back without kids, I can only imagine how much more difficult it is with them.
Apr 28th 2009, 7:14 am
#5
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,769
Re: Starting to evaluate our options - yikes!
[QUOTE=ukintexas;7520010]
. Do you think it would be better for him to go back now or at some later date? If you think at some later date, when would that be?
Hi Dave,
Yeah this is such a major point that I've been thinking of all sorts of ways around this. I'm looking at what we could do from here to start working with the British curriculum in conjunction with what he does in the US at the moment. I've contacted a few States schools in the UK to ask their advice so am waiting to see what they say. I figured even if I get a tutor here (maybe from one of the International Schools) to sit with him once a week to go through some basics, it might help at least a little. I'm so out of touch in relation to when he would actually start the specific GCSE work as well so am trying to figure that one out too!
I have found that the best way to make a decision on such a difficult dilemma is to take all the emotions out of it and try and be more practical.
If you let your emotions make the decision for you, they will probably lead you in the wrong way because they move and change all the time.
If you can find one single true reason for returning home based on practical grounds, it will probably be the right reason and it will keep everything else on track especially if you keep reminding yourself of why you made the decision.
I've floundered on making a decision as to when I would go back and why but as homesick as I felt and as much as i missed the green and the countryside, I knew I'd soon get restless and fed up if I didn't have a more solid reason for returning especially if I went back to no job and little money. In this case, I've made a clear decision to return to the UK for business reasons and as this is based on the fact that running my particular business is very limited here in Oz, this was the deciding factor. I needed a concrete, solid factor to be behind my reason for returning.
If you're in doubt, instead of relying too much on an emotional reason, I'd try and find some solid reasoning for returning. This then gives you a firm direction and the motivation to back up your decision with a goal and direction. As long as you keep this in mind, you probably won't regret it.
I really do think the decision to move home can be a long drawn out one, and I'm concsious that I don't want to be a "flip flop" poster about what I want to do! That's why I thought I'd class it as "evaluating options" - basically posh way of saying "have no idea what the hell to do"!
Thanks for your thoughts though, and I hope that a direction becomes clear for you too with your own situation.
Hi Dave,
Yeah this is such a major point that I've been thinking of all sorts of ways around this. I'm looking at what we could do from here to start working with the British curriculum in conjunction with what he does in the US at the moment. I've contacted a few States schools in the UK to ask their advice so am waiting to see what they say. I figured even if I get a tutor here (maybe from one of the International Schools) to sit with him once a week to go through some basics, it might help at least a little. I'm so out of touch in relation to when he would actually start the specific GCSE work as well so am trying to figure that one out too!
I have found that the best way to make a decision on such a difficult dilemma is to take all the emotions out of it and try and be more practical.
If you let your emotions make the decision for you, they will probably lead you in the wrong way because they move and change all the time.
If you can find one single true reason for returning home based on practical grounds, it will probably be the right reason and it will keep everything else on track especially if you keep reminding yourself of why you made the decision.
I've floundered on making a decision as to when I would go back and why but as homesick as I felt and as much as i missed the green and the countryside, I knew I'd soon get restless and fed up if I didn't have a more solid reason for returning especially if I went back to no job and little money. In this case, I've made a clear decision to return to the UK for business reasons and as this is based on the fact that running my particular business is very limited here in Oz, this was the deciding factor. I needed a concrete, solid factor to be behind my reason for returning.
If you're in doubt, instead of relying too much on an emotional reason, I'd try and find some solid reasoning for returning. This then gives you a firm direction and the motivation to back up your decision with a goal and direction. As long as you keep this in mind, you probably won't regret it.
I really do think the decision to move home can be a long drawn out one, and I'm concsious that I don't want to be a "flip flop" poster about what I want to do! That's why I thought I'd class it as "evaluating options" - basically posh way of saying "have no idea what the hell to do"!
Thanks for your thoughts though, and I hope that a direction becomes clear for you too with your own situation.
