JoolsB

..for another year but other times like now I just wanna go

"wahahahahahahahaahaha get me out of here NOW!!!!!"

There feel a tiny bit better now..

Just poured myself a big glass of red...

tillysmum

Yep, it certainly is a rollercoaster of emotions.
Know exactly what you mean
Have one for me

St.Georges Girl

I sympathise. I felt like that yesterday and the day before. I'm off the wine for awhile, decided it was too much of a depressant, so I can't join you I'm afraid, it's only 1pm here anyway, so too early anyway.

For me it's the not knowing if I'll ever get what I want. I feel like shouting "I'm a lonely person, get me out of here".

JoolsB

I'm supposed to be off the wine too and it's only 3 here! oops

If a fairy godmother could grant you 3 wishes now what would they be?

St.Georges Girl

Now that is a hard one. One would definitely be to go home for good.

How about you?

JoolsB

1. To have just sold my aus house for sufficiently more than i paid for it to recoup any losses
2. To be booked on a flight back to London next month (I'll spend the time left saying farewell to my rellies in Adelaide & Sydney)
3. To have a job waiting for me at the other end

Not too much to ask eh?

rabsody

Oh god, I so know how you feel Jools! Sometimes you can trot along ok for a few days, even weeks, but then it hits you again like a ton of bricks Sending hugs!

Me too, pretty much gave up in February as I felt it wasn't helping my situation. Still have 3 or 4 on weekends. Would love one right now though!

St.Georges Girl

Are you trying to sell your house now?

Did you find it easy Faye? To give up the weekday wine I mean.

rabsody

Initially yes. I'd been overdoing it for about 20 years really and I found that once I started uni I really needed to have more of a clear head than at work where I could run on autopilot (my last job was in marketing in the fine wine industry ... so you can see how much I enjoyed a tipple ).

However I felt there weren't too many positive reasons to carry on in the same vein and lots of positive reasons to pretty much stop. I got really drunk one afternoon in front of the kids at a barbie at our place and it seriously made me rethink a few things as I grew up around alcoholism (my mum) and I didn't want my kids to experience that kind of environment.

After three months I am really starting to feel like one in the evening again, though I am being strong! How about you G? Have you found it easy? Have you stopped completely?

JoolsB

Thanks for the hugs Faye! Back to you too & everyone else feeling this way

All this sitting here crying every other day for last 2 months isn't doing my eye bags any good at all!

No alas my house isn't on the market as have agreed to give it a year here-we only bought it 2 months ago haha

rabsody

Oh Jools, I do feel for you hun. It's not easy is it. Sometimes I feel coming on here can make me feel worse though (addictive though it is) as I do tend to dwell on the things I don't like (although everyone is marvellously supportive and it's great to find others who understand).

I know you are job hunting at the mo and usually when I feel down the last thing I feel like is seeing people, but are there any groups or hobbies you could join locally, just to get you out the house?

JoolsB

Yes sometime I feel I'm dwelling too-and probably making others feel worse with my negativity!

No local groups (other than the Senior citizens club!). I have looked at some city based Adult Ed courses but they all cost money plus travel expenses and I am trying to be good as no job Also, I do find it hard to feel enthusiastic about anything feeling the way I do.

Thanks for your kind words-I must go and paint my happy & normal face on now in readiness for OH's arrival home

St.Georges Girl

It's only been since Monday night, but I'm determined to make it at least until the w/e. I found myself getting more and more down when I was drinking and I drank far too much. I've only really been drinking in the evenings since I lost my job, but it soon becomes a habit and, what started out as 2 rather large glasses, one whilst cooking and one with dinner, soon became 4, sometimes 5. OH hated it, I didn't like myself very much, although most of the time I did enjoy it, so I decided to cut it out during the week at least. I hardly drank at all until we came to Oz, even at w/ends. I only really like red wine, but when it's really hot, I do have the odd lager or spritzer. I started drinking more through boredom and because a friend who used to live next door would come in with her glass full and I'd join her. I'm hoping I might lose abit of weight now too, so that's another incentive. Trouble is, one is never enough, so for me, it's all or nothing.

Aaww, you poor thing. I know only too well what that is like. Is there no temp work you can do just to get you out and about? Try not to get into a rut like me, the longer you are home, the harder it is to get out there again and you start to lose any confidence you might once have had. It's not a good place to be, believe me.

JoolsB

Thanks GG. I used to work from home anyway in UK so am used to physically being home much of the time. Even tho I thought I hated what I did now I really miss the sense of purpose it gave me. If feel that if I could go back tmrw I would and not moan! Out of frying pan into huge furnace..

ps best of luck with the cutting back-you will feel so much better after a few days in a row

St.Georges Girl

I used to work from home too and I felt the same, but now all I think about is going home. I don't care about getting a job or socialising even, I just want to go home. Rotten innit.