HiddenPaw

I am so thankful I have discovered this site. I had so many reservations about moving back to the UK and what I am giving up by leaving Oz but hearing all your experiences has made me realise we are doing the right thing, and that I'm not mad for leaving Australia.

What's made it hard to accept that moving back is the right thing to do is because so many Brits that we speak to say "oh wow, you've got permanent residency? I'd do anything to live in Oz". I was questioning why we were going back when we obviously had something that so many others are desperate to have, wait a long time for, or sometimes don't even get the chance to do.

I now realise that many of the people who dream of living here have never been here, and some I've spoken to don't have a reality check on the fact that Australia does have its problems. I am not knocking anyone who moves here to find their dream - I think you have to actually do it to see what it's really like, as no amount of research from home will prepare you for the real thing. I'm just relieved that I now realise those who tell me I'm mad for going back are generally those who haven't yet experienced life here.

It's reassuring to know that the dilemmas and turmoil I am experiencing are common to many of us - so without realising it, you've helped me over some major mental barriers!!!

Good luck to anyone who is moving/staying overseas, and happy living for those heading home!

dotty

Hi there I am going to UK next month specifically to look at areas to live really, fully expecting the old 'Why OZ must be wonderful", we just smirk now, usually the perception is just from TV. It gets a bit annoying after a while actually. I fully expect the first two months or so when we get back permanently to be a bit of a hassle, settling in and all the stress that goes with house buying etc, but I know its worth it, another 10 years here I would go barmy from boredom. Anyway good luck with it all.

Jirrupin

Sadly any doubts or problems aired on the OZ/NZ forum can become suffocated with those who ardently believe that OZ/NZ is the answer to all their dreams. When we came to OZ and the three years waiting to get here we were happy with our lives. We downsized in UK and have the luxury of mortgage free living there. Not quite sitting on a milk crate and eating off a pallet but after 20 years hard work I would expect to have a little more than a milk crate to show for our efforts.

We are in no way materialistic but we do want to have a nice home and opportunities to travel. We are happy to work but would prefer not to have to work full time 52 weeks a year.

We did believe that there would be more opportunities available to us in OZ but we have yet to fnd them and its not for want of trying, we could work part time and then sit on a beach, but we would get bored with that. We are going south west WA for a few days to see whether something catches our eye there. But our reality so far is that jobs are hard to come by, poorly paid, and those compromises are not worth the short drive to the bush or the indian ocean.

Most days we have been to the beach we have hardly seen anyone there, the wind factor is definately something I had not been aware of, we have been driving around to lots of different areas, walking around the local shopping centres and parks trying to get a feel for a place. We have not yet found anywhere we would want to call home.

We are in a position where we can go home anytime we want. We have not particularly missed family but they have missed us. We do not have any children but if we did we would probably want to share that experience with family. After all it is the people in your life who make it worthwhile not places and belongings.

I do think people have lots of reasons for coming to OZ and I do hope they are happy in their choice. For me it is not about guts to go to OZ or go back to UK, i do not understand those coments. We are in our late 30's and want to have control over our lives, we are happy to go without expensive cars and big houses to have more time and freedom to travel, we do not need to be in OZ to achieve this.

I wish you the very best of luck with your move back to the UK and to starting your own family. The only people worth listening to are those that you love.

Donna

DaisyNZ

Hi there. I replied on the other board but I was going to say it was the wrong place to ask. Most of those people can't wait to leave the UK and follow their dream, so of course they are unhappy with their lives in the UK. We are going back in 2 years when this baby will be 2. I have had my other 2 children here and I want to be able to leave all the baby stuff behind, but as you are just starting out with all that I can understand why you want to go home. I love NZ for lots of reasons and I will go home with mixed emotions, I spent most of the last 11 years looking for reasons to hate it so the decision was easier. I have now come to the conclusion that it is okay to go back to the UK whether or not NZ is wonderful. I'm not going back because it's awful, but because I want to go 'home'. I don't look for right and wrong anymore, because I don't think I'll find the answer, they are both great countries for lots of reasons but I am ready to go and live in the UK for a while. I'd just do it if I were you, Australia will always be there if you want to go back. Having a baby with none of your family is really hard, I did it, it is something you will enjoy sharing. All the best.

daisymoll

This is definitely true, I am due in one week exactly and I would have given anythign to have the love and support of family back in the UK. I never realised how much I would miss them. Having kids really brings it all home....(Mine is definitely the UK).

A friend over here had just had a baby two weeks ago and seeing her have all her family around has made me a bit envious. Having tons of friends is great but sometimes there is just nothing like family...

HiddenPaw

Thanks everyone, your comments have been incredibly supportive. I'm on an emotional rollercoaster - half of it is probably my wild pregnant hormones and the other half is because of all this! I've re-read your posts several times as they have given me reassurance and put a smile back on my face

HP

DaisyNZ

Hey Daisymoll. all the best for the birth, you must be getting excited. Is it your first? I'm sorry you are doing this without your family, like I said, I did too, but if you plan to stay in Oz there are lots of ways to include them. The hospital faxed a photo of my firstborn to my parents when he was 1 day old, we got the photos done in one hour. Then of course lots and lots of videos!!! I'm only 10 weeks along at the moment, I wish it was me with only a week to go!!!

daisymoll

Yep, this is our first, I am glad we are so close to due date as well, as I don't think I could bear much longer... We are hoping to go home in December for good so won't be too long without family. The airline allows loads of baby stuff as extra baggage so thats good and personally we feel it will be easier to travel with a baby than a toddler and I just couldn't wait here anymore...

We are trying to do loads as well (Birthweight/date sweepstakes) to keep everyone involved. I would of loved my husbands mum to have won as she said yesterday but alas no!!

Congratulations also, are you suffering from any morning sickness?

DaisyNZ

yes! the morning sickness has been revolting. but it's getting a bit better now. Personally I think you are doing the right thing going back with a young baby. I took my first home when he was 13 months. I went by myself and it was so difficult. He was just walking and very active. I didn't book a seat for him, it was the worst flight I've ever had, I didn't sleep or eat for about 24 hours, I felt quite ill for over a week once I arrived. Every time the food would come he would push it off the tray or spill the drinks etc. Changing his nappy was comical, he'd be crawling all over the toilet area half cleaned, honestly, if only people knew!!! I swore I would never fly with that age again, hence taking them all home (this will be our third) once the baby is 2. I have a 2 yr old now and he would be much easier. When I was on the plane I wished I'd taken him when he was a few months old, still baby enough to b/feed and sleep most of the way. And your family will love having the baby to goo over. For me it was either that, or have them all here and go when this time was finished. So good luck, you must be getting excited about the baby and going home. Lots to think about and organise. Having your children and bringing them up overseas is one of the hardest things a woman can do I reckon, so many implications, I'm having to start my oldest at school here after xmas and feel so strange about it.

rooster

Hi there,

Don't know if you remember me but I had our baby on 18th October - a girl - and we've called her "Eloise May". I wrote a post a while ago, moaning about the pre-natal health care here in Ontario but I must say, I've changed my mind now. The care I had was superb. The baby was 10 days late and I had to have a C-section in the end - it was all very last minute and panicky due to complications - but they handled it soooo well. I had my own room with en suite (felt like a hotel!) which you would never get in the UK unless you paid to go private. The nurses were absolutely brilliant and were at my beck and call around the clock, ready to answer questions and help me with breast feeding, etc, etc. The follow up care also seems to be pretty impressive and the health visitors have been calling regularly, eager to help in anyway they can. I am now "home" and I'm lucky enough to have my Mum here to help me out. She's over for a month although only has a few days left now (boo hoo). It's going to be very hard when she does go back to the UK and I expect I will feel really homesick all over again...

I wish you the best Daisymoll and keep us posted on whether you have a boy or a girl, won't you.

Sheryl

DaisyNZ

rooster, congratulations on your little girl. You had a similar experience to me here in NZ with my first. I ended up having a c/section and the following 5 days in the NZ hospital with my own room and ensuite were great and I have fond memories of that time. New baby, great care. My mum also came and visited for a month after the baby came home which was wonderful. You brought back my memories. I think that is why I have chosen to have my baby years in NZ before going back, but I am lucky to have my Mum and Dad living here now which they didn't before. I'm not sure how I'd feel if they weren't here. I think whatever the level of care you receive, nothing can replace doting grandparents!!!

daisymoll

Congratulations Sheryl, thats brilliant, I can't wait to have mine!!! We too hope to have that private room etc and my hubby will be able to stay with me all the time so again can't really fault the hospital. Hope your little girl isn't keeping you up too much...

Sonia

jasmin

Hi all,

I too am delighted to have found this area of the site, 18 months ago being a big campaigner on the other side trying to bolster my determination to get here (Sydney).
We now have our house on the market and hope to be back in the UK within the next 6 months complete with baby, due in 3 DAYS TIME, Yipes. Its been so hard without the support of my family and friends.
Good luck to the other expectant Mums too

Nicki x

DaisyNZ

All the best Nicki, it's such an exciting time. I think there would be more women want to go home when having their first baby overseas than who would want to stay, but I'm just guessing. I wonder which of you guys will have your baby first!!!

HiddenPaw

Oh wow, so many babies!!
Daisymoll & Jasmin you must be ready to POP!!! Good luck with everything. COme back and let us know how it all went. Will be thinking of you this week. I think you are both very brave doing it overseas - (being in Oz alone with a baby (and a husband) has been one of the things that scared me the most). I hope all goes well for you both.

And Daisy NZ, you must be old hat at this by now! But I know what you mean, I wish I was 1 week to go too. Hopefully you only have a couple more yucky weeks of morning sickness to go!?

Rooster, how long are you staying overseas? Is it a long term thing?