nzsimon

I met my beautiful wife whilst living in London. We had a whirlwind romance, drinking in all the life that London has to offer. I am originally from NZ and whilst I enjoy its laid back approach to life I always end up craving the history, art and culture that London has to offer (been back 5 times now, 3 times on a one way ticket!). I swapped my suit and tie for jeans and a tee shirt when I hit London. I was 37 and sick of the sport culture in NZ that is so suffocating. I found literature and life in the UK - I found myself. Anyway! I married my partner and we had a child - beautiful - BUT, suddenly i HAD to go back in NZ! Better life for the kids right? We have been living in a lovely character home north of Auckland city but we both crave London!
If it was just the two of us we would never have come to NZ. But, I hear sooooo much about how its a better life for the kids growing up here. We have a 4 year old and a 4 month old.
We talk often but end up going around and around....Any words of wisdom would be most appreciated!

ElizabethK

Gosh, so much indecision.
I've never understood the whole "it's better to bring kids up here" statement. Thinking about it literally, I don't think the country matters where a child is brought up, surely the quality of their lives is the parents responsibility and not the location?

If a child is brought up in Auckland by a drug addicted mother and a felon for a father and a child in London is brought up by wonderfully caring parents that are both responsible, law abiding citizens then the child in UK would have a far better life, right? So, the location in my opinion is irrelavent. It's how they're brought up, not where.

SanDiegogirl

Will you have a job to go to?

I would not leave NZ for London unless I had a great job with a great salary.

London is so expensive and no place to be if you are out of work.

nzsimon

Hi SanDiegogirl

No, and I do have a very job here so makes the leaving thing even tougher. I have been pretty hard up in London before and I agree - no place to be without some decent coin....especially given I now have dependants!

Still, I ponder having a pint in 14th century pub down by the Thames on a snow laiden December day...or sipping on mulled wine and wandering through a fairy lit Regents park, all the anticipation of Christmas hanging in the air as St Pauls gently rings out its bells across ol London Town...

kat589

Hi NZSimon We came to NZ from the UK when our kids were 6 and 11. TBH as we lived in London, I found Auckland was so lovely as kids can walk around the good areas and you know they are as safe as you can make them. Then there is all the outdoor stuff which really is better in NZ (regular camps etc). What does suffer is the education if you have a kid that needs to be pushed. I have one who is independent with his studying and one who needs to be constantly told - this one did better in the UK where they have regular exams etc here in NZ he has been lost in the system as there are no external exams until year 11 which IMO is disastrous if you want your child to get into a competitive degree like engineering etc. Basically you get a lot of great stuff while they are young here in NZ and I think it is def a lot safer than London in the better areas but at school you need to keep an eye on subjects like English Literature which takes years of good practice to get good grades in Year 11. I would never had not gone to NZ as I think my kids have benefited from the experience and I now see the UK with different eyes than if we had stayed. The old cliche is so true - life is a journey and the destination is not important. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Assanah

Are all kids happy in Auckland and unhappy in London? Outdoors are good for children and art and history aren't? I think this is part of the eternal discussion among parents about city vs countryside. I don't think that there is a final answer. The happiness of the parents is probably more important.

SanDiegogirl

Lovely thoughts having been in London myself at this time ........ so would recommend going at vacation at this time, when you can relax and enjoy the scene ..... and not have to worry about getting to work when the trains stop running because of "the wrong snow"

Barrybriggs

'Households gripped by financial fear as bills go up 25% in five years while wages rise just 6% in the U.K. The cost of car insurance and gas for heating and cooking have risen in that time by a whopping 67 per cent and 52 per cent respectively, according to comparison website uSwitch. More than half of adults (55 per cent) said the rising cost of living is now their biggest concern' . . . .D. Mail

MagsB

I know exactly how you feel. We've moved back to South Africa for the better lifestyle, better weather, and we were so incredibly homesick for London that we are moving back next month.

MagsB

The Daily Fail fails to realise that this is the case around the world and not just in Britian. In South Africa we have been hit by extortionate increases in electricity and food prices.

janeyk

If Its one thing NZ has taught me is how little money we can live on I left the UK in 2008 earning 10k more than I do now and my hubby earning also we are back and living well on the reduced salary
For me its is everything you have said although I liked the North Shore where we lived the school I felt let my son down (he is 12) I think all he has done in the last year at intermediate was play, although he has not struggled to keep up as he is bright if we left it any longer he would of done, For DS he thrives on praise and encouragement so far in the 3 weeks at school he has won loads of house points and yesterday impresed the head so much he came home with a £5 book voucher
The UK is more than London and had lots of culture I am sure I do not need to tell you, you can have the open spaces and history and earnings without living in the capital. we have moved to Oxfordshire and have London on our doorstep but also lots of rolling hills and good schools, There is no harm in trying to apply for jobs from NZ I did and managed to secure a role if its meant to be it will happen
I think once you have lived in another country life is always hard as there is no perfect place
good luck

nzsimon

Yes, Sandiegogirl...you really do know what I mean

Look, I just wanted to thank you all for your contributions on my indecision. I was sceptical about posting this but the more I read on this website the more it compelled me to write.

At the end of the day Britian and New Zealand are two frist world countries and I guess we are lucky to have access to both (with passports and familes in both countries). I think what actually might be happening here is the fact that I am 'nesting' and finding the adjustment a tad difficult - given I was such a traveller before I had children. Someone in the thread mentioned the old addage that life is a journey and once the headspace absorbs this life is somehow easier to live.

A trip to London at Christmas is now on the cards...an old romantic like myself will then be able to dive into the bliss of human joy rather than having to endure the greyness of a cold, train delayed, commuter platform

I feel better already...