Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Nov 1st 2008, 1:42 pm
#1
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Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Hi all.
Been in Perth for only 3 months which is nothing I know.We came here for 2 visits before and thought it was quiet and a little boring but thought when we lived here it would be better, it is a lovely place which we have to admit.
It was my idea to come here and the Mrs. has settled better which is often the case I hear, we said we will give it 2 years which we will as it has cost us a lot of money like everyone else.
I am homesick and empty and to be honest at this moment in time cannot see us staying after 2 years although I cannot possibly say that for sure as things could change in a year. We have a few friends and are outgoing and in clubs.I am not desperately unhappy here and do not miss a lot of things in the U.K I think it is the people I miss mainly.
I am on less money here which I can totally deal with but I work longer hours and have less time than I did in the U.K but tell myself it is better for the boy's (6 & 8 ) here, but is it?
They miss their Nan e.t.c who looked after them when they were very young and also when I was ill so they have a special bond with her so there is all that to consider, although they will be teenagers in no time and will not see her so much anyway.
My Dad lives in our house so we can stay there and I was hoping to maybe go back next Xmas but is that too soon? I mean should people give it the 2 years and then go back as they are more sure of their feelings.
Should I try over east although I don't want to keep uprooting the kids and if we ever go back to the U.K that is it we will stay due to the cost.
Also for people that have gone back to the U.K to live did you always feel unsettled or was you happy for a year or 2 then it kicked in or did you just hope it would get better?
Sorry for the long post and the many questions, James
Been in Perth for only 3 months which is nothing I know.We came here for 2 visits before and thought it was quiet and a little boring but thought when we lived here it would be better, it is a lovely place which we have to admit.
It was my idea to come here and the Mrs. has settled better which is often the case I hear, we said we will give it 2 years which we will as it has cost us a lot of money like everyone else.
I am homesick and empty and to be honest at this moment in time cannot see us staying after 2 years although I cannot possibly say that for sure as things could change in a year. We have a few friends and are outgoing and in clubs.I am not desperately unhappy here and do not miss a lot of things in the U.K I think it is the people I miss mainly.
I am on less money here which I can totally deal with but I work longer hours and have less time than I did in the U.K but tell myself it is better for the boy's (6 & 8 ) here, but is it?
They miss their Nan e.t.c who looked after them when they were very young and also when I was ill so they have a special bond with her so there is all that to consider, although they will be teenagers in no time and will not see her so much anyway.
My Dad lives in our house so we can stay there and I was hoping to maybe go back next Xmas but is that too soon? I mean should people give it the 2 years and then go back as they are more sure of their feelings.
Should I try over east although I don't want to keep uprooting the kids and if we ever go back to the U.K that is it we will stay due to the cost.
Also for people that have gone back to the U.K to live did you always feel unsettled or was you happy for a year or 2 then it kicked in or did you just hope it would get better?
Sorry for the long post and the many questions, James
Last edited by Funky Monkey; Nov 1st 2008 at 1:45 pm.
Nov 1st 2008, 4:05 pm
#2
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Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Three months does seem a short time to some people but by 6 months we were already thinking "What have we done"?
We stuck it out until 18 months then said we would go back home, sold our house and car booked our flights and we're ready to go. Instead we took advice from someone my OH knew at work and moved to a new area in Perth.
We soon realised this was a mistake and should have just gone back home when we had decided too. Wasted money on the car we sold and only just made a small profit on our first house.
We have only stayed here until now for my eldest Daughter to finish school which she has now done as we didn't want to mess her exams up (she takes her TEE'S next week).
I know a couple of people who moved East hoping it would be better and different but it's still Australia things they didn't like here in Perth are just the same there and one family moved back to the UK and one moved back here to Perth but going back to the UK when they have sold up here in Perth.
You could try to get a different job if possible with better hours and do all you can to settle but if things are still not working out then you must all sit
down and decide what to do and know that if you go back to the UK you have given it your best shot here.
We all know we are 100% happy to be going back to the UK and the children can't wait to go (going on 7th Jan). Have sold up and made a profit and just in the process of selling our car now.
All the best to you whatever you decide to do in the future.
We stuck it out until 18 months then said we would go back home, sold our house and car booked our flights and we're ready to go. Instead we took advice from someone my OH knew at work and moved to a new area in Perth.
We soon realised this was a mistake and should have just gone back home when we had decided too. Wasted money on the car we sold and only just made a small profit on our first house.
We have only stayed here until now for my eldest Daughter to finish school which she has now done as we didn't want to mess her exams up (she takes her TEE'S next week).
I know a couple of people who moved East hoping it would be better and different but it's still Australia things they didn't like here in Perth are just the same there and one family moved back to the UK and one moved back here to Perth but going back to the UK when they have sold up here in Perth.
You could try to get a different job if possible with better hours and do all you can to settle but if things are still not working out then you must all sit
down and decide what to do and know that if you go back to the UK you have given it your best shot here.
We all know we are 100% happy to be going back to the UK and the children can't wait to go (going on 7th Jan). Have sold up and made a profit and just in the process of selling our car now.
All the best to you whatever you decide to do in the future.
Nov 1st 2008, 7:23 pm
#3
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 164
Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
It should pass. Your emotions are probably all over the place at the moment clouding your judgement. Take advice from your closest friends and family and ignore your own head for a little while. It's easier said than done, though.
I have been in a similar situation recently. After 7 years in NZ, I kept getting this daily feeling that I had to return to Blighty. I wrote on a piece of paper all the pros and cons for returning/staying. The pros for returning won by a massive margin. It didn't make it easy to go, though.
Give it a few more months at least - the UK aint going anywhere!
I have been in a similar situation recently. After 7 years in NZ, I kept getting this daily feeling that I had to return to Blighty. I wrote on a piece of paper all the pros and cons for returning/staying. The pros for returning won by a massive margin. It didn't make it easy to go, though.
Give it a few more months at least - the UK aint going anywhere!
Last edited by Jokerman; Nov 1st 2008 at 7:27 pm.
Nov 1st 2008, 7:26 pm
#4
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Posts: 171
Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
I think Oz is at a standstill!
Nov 1st 2008, 7:33 pm
#5
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Location: Quinns Rocks, WA
Posts: 229
Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Hi
Well we have been here (Perth) a year. My other half has always felt unsettled, and I can just take it or leave it. We miss the 'lifestyle' rather than the people though. Like you say, Perth is a little boring......
We agreed that we should go for a holiday to the UK (mainly to introduce baby to family) and have just come back..... For my other half it kinda confirmd that he would prefer to live in the UK. Therefore we are now more undecided as to whether Aus is for us. Part of us says go home, and part of us says to stick it out for a few years!!!
We really thought that our trip home would be the deciding factor for us, but we are honestly no better off decision wise.
I do know one thing though. If we do go back it will not be in our local area!!! That was one depressing place
Good Luck in your decision. If you can afford it - go home for a holiday - might help you make a decision, even if it didn't for us.
T
Well we have been here (Perth) a year. My other half has always felt unsettled, and I can just take it or leave it. We miss the 'lifestyle' rather than the people though. Like you say, Perth is a little boring......
We agreed that we should go for a holiday to the UK (mainly to introduce baby to family) and have just come back..... For my other half it kinda confirmd that he would prefer to live in the UK. Therefore we are now more undecided as to whether Aus is for us. Part of us says go home, and part of us says to stick it out for a few years!!!
We really thought that our trip home would be the deciding factor for us, but we are honestly no better off decision wise.
I do know one thing though. If we do go back it will not be in our local area!!! That was one depressing place
Good Luck in your decision. If you can afford it - go home for a holiday - might help you make a decision, even if it didn't for us.
T
Nov 1st 2008, 7:47 pm
#6
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Posts: 171
Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Tracy O
We are quite close to you as we live in Mindarie. As places go we thought it would be a little less boring here but the Marina is as good as it gets! After the other weekends fight down there it doesn't seem a nice family place to go anymore! Everytime we have been down there we see drunks and people arguing and jumping in to the harbour!
We feel we have really wasted the last 5 years here in Perth and as I said before should have gone back years ago. At least our eldest has completed school and is ready for her finals next week without having been unsettled. The only reason we stuck it out here. Saying that it is not because the education is good here. My children's private school here is rubbish compared with their old school in the UK.
Give yourselves time to adjust and think about it here but don't waste too many years trying to make up your mind. The years do go quickly and children start to settle and may not want to go back when you still really do.
Luckily our 3 (nearly 17, 14 1/2 and 9) all can't wait.
One thing we have done which you mentioned is to choose a new area. We have chose an area 4 1/2 hours from our previous city. We thought we would make a completely new start as we were heading back.
Can't wait to go and counting ourt weeks now!
We are quite close to you as we live in Mindarie. As places go we thought it would be a little less boring here but the Marina is as good as it gets! After the other weekends fight down there it doesn't seem a nice family place to go anymore! Everytime we have been down there we see drunks and people arguing and jumping in to the harbour!
We feel we have really wasted the last 5 years here in Perth and as I said before should have gone back years ago. At least our eldest has completed school and is ready for her finals next week without having been unsettled. The only reason we stuck it out here. Saying that it is not because the education is good here. My children's private school here is rubbish compared with their old school in the UK.
Give yourselves time to adjust and think about it here but don't waste too many years trying to make up your mind. The years do go quickly and children start to settle and may not want to go back when you still really do.
Luckily our 3 (nearly 17, 14 1/2 and 9) all can't wait.
One thing we have done which you mentioned is to choose a new area. We have chose an area 4 1/2 hours from our previous city. We thought we would make a completely new start as we were heading back.
Can't wait to go and counting ourt weeks now!
Nov 1st 2008, 7:58 pm
#7
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Location: Quinns Rocks, WA
Posts: 229
Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Hi Deb,
Do you think it's a good idea to stay for citizenhip? We missed out on the two year qualifier, and now have to wait 4 years.
I know that if we move back it will be late next year. We don't want to waste time being somewhere that we don't really want to be, but at the same time we would like the oppotunity to come back when we are ready for a quieter life.
You are right about the Marina. We have been there so many times that we are now bored with it!
Good luck for your trip home. Where are you going back to?
T
Do you think it's a good idea to stay for citizenhip? We missed out on the two year qualifier, and now have to wait 4 years.
I know that if we move back it will be late next year. We don't want to waste time being somewhere that we don't really want to be, but at the same time we would like the oppotunity to come back when we are ready for a quieter life.
You are right about the Marina. We have been there so many times that we are now bored with it!
Good luck for your trip home. Where are you going back to?
T
Nov 1st 2008, 8:16 pm
#8
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Posts: 8,378
Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Gosh what a dilemma!
I always believe that the "better life for the kids" thing is a myth and something to get parents all guilty about. For me, a "better life" is not just about a beach and enough sunshine to give you melanoma it is about the people in your life and the things you do with it. There are millions of British kids growing up with just fine and dandy lives at the moment - they have contact with the people they love and for the most part are getting an education which is at least equal to, if not better than the one they get here. They also have easier access to a wider range of experiences than kids do here IMHO.
However, I think you do probably need to give it a bit longer given the investment you have made in coming here unless, of course, you could return to a good job along with your home within the shorter term. I think it a good idea too to perhaps not return whence you came unless you can help it - UK has so many beautiful and different places to live, you could try somewhere else and thus feel less like you are in a rut for ever.
Good luck with whatever you do but dont allow yourself to get stuck in a place and pass that point of no return where it is no longer financially or emotionally possible to go back.
I always believe that the "better life for the kids" thing is a myth and something to get parents all guilty about. For me, a "better life" is not just about a beach and enough sunshine to give you melanoma it is about the people in your life and the things you do with it. There are millions of British kids growing up with just fine and dandy lives at the moment - they have contact with the people they love and for the most part are getting an education which is at least equal to, if not better than the one they get here. They also have easier access to a wider range of experiences than kids do here IMHO.
However, I think you do probably need to give it a bit longer given the investment you have made in coming here unless, of course, you could return to a good job along with your home within the shorter term. I think it a good idea too to perhaps not return whence you came unless you can help it - UK has so many beautiful and different places to live, you could try somewhere else and thus feel less like you are in a rut for ever.
Good luck with whatever you do but dont allow yourself to get stuck in a place and pass that point of no return where it is no longer financially or emotionally possible to go back.
Nov 1st 2008, 8:20 pm
#9
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Posts: 171
Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Hi Tracy
We didn't end up going for citizenship. Some people tend to do it in case they decide to come back or for their children who may decide to come back in years to come.
We don't like living in Australia and just would not want to be a citizen as it would mean nothing to us.
We are definately not going to come back here and our children have said the same. If our Daughter's end up having a gap year from University they have both said they woud prefer to travel around Europe as they think Oz is boring! Our Son (who's 9) has never settled here and I doubt he will ever think of coming back again. There are so many other more excitng places to visit in the world!
If my Hubby and I do decide to retire abroad I think we would choose Palma as we love it there.
My parents have been over here twice since we have been here and they said okay here for a holiday but to live would find it boring and they are 65 and 63!
We are originally from Sheffield but are moving back to Exeter, North Devon. It was our choice along with Perth and I wish now we had gone to Exeter in the first place rather than here!
It looks a lovely city a bit of old and new and close to the coast. The countryside is fantastic and there is so much to do for us and the children and even an airport to get us to Europe. Great schools, colleges and universities. The list goes on and we can't wait to go on 7th January.
Sold up here and living in a rental in Mindarie until we go.
We didn't end up going for citizenship. Some people tend to do it in case they decide to come back or for their children who may decide to come back in years to come.
We don't like living in Australia and just would not want to be a citizen as it would mean nothing to us.
We are definately not going to come back here and our children have said the same. If our Daughter's end up having a gap year from University they have both said they woud prefer to travel around Europe as they think Oz is boring! Our Son (who's 9) has never settled here and I doubt he will ever think of coming back again. There are so many other more excitng places to visit in the world!
If my Hubby and I do decide to retire abroad I think we would choose Palma as we love it there.
My parents have been over here twice since we have been here and they said okay here for a holiday but to live would find it boring and they are 65 and 63!
We are originally from Sheffield but are moving back to Exeter, North Devon. It was our choice along with Perth and I wish now we had gone to Exeter in the first place rather than here!
It looks a lovely city a bit of old and new and close to the coast. The countryside is fantastic and there is so much to do for us and the children and even an airport to get us to Europe. Great schools, colleges and universities. The list goes on and we can't wait to go on 7th January.
Sold up here and living in a rental in Mindarie until we go.
Nov 1st 2008, 8:26 pm
#10
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Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Thanks for all your replies and advice it is much appreciated.
I just feel lonely at the minute and the weekends I find the worse what with no family here to visit like we would in the U.K
As I said we will do the 2 years and maybe plan a trip back late next year. Even if we stay here long term we will always want to go back to the U.K to see family & friends and if we are still unsettled it may decide it for us, although not always the case as mentioned.
I am a mess lol
as I do not want to particularly be in the U.K but not sure I want to be here either, someone please shoot me, thanks again James
I just feel lonely at the minute and the weekends I find the worse what with no family here to visit like we would in the U.K
As I said we will do the 2 years and maybe plan a trip back late next year. Even if we stay here long term we will always want to go back to the U.K to see family & friends and if we are still unsettled it may decide it for us, although not always the case as mentioned.
I am a mess lol
as I do not want to particularly be in the U.K but not sure I want to be here either, someone please shoot me, thanks again James
Nov 1st 2008, 8:41 pm
#11
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Posts: 171
Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
We are just the five of us here and like you miss family around. My Mum and Dad lived just 5 minutes walk away in the UK and we walked through to them every Sunday for Sunday dinner etc. Had other family members to go out with, my girls went out shopping with my Sister etc all things we have missed here.
It is hard and I understand what you are going through as we have been through it all.
Do you think anyone will visit you out here? We have had my parents out twice and it really gave us something to look forward to and we also have been lucky enough to go back every year since we have been here.
Try if you can and get back for a visit or get someone out here. Give yourself more time to settle then see how you feel.
Now we have been 'on our own' really for the last 5 years we have been able to make the decision to move to another part of the UK hours away from family something we thought we would never be able to do.
Don't get too down as at least you have tried something that many would not be brave enough to do. Even if you do decide to go back you have done something different in your life.
It is hard and I understand what you are going through as we have been through it all.
Do you think anyone will visit you out here? We have had my parents out twice and it really gave us something to look forward to and we also have been lucky enough to go back every year since we have been here.
Try if you can and get back for a visit or get someone out here. Give yourself more time to settle then see how you feel.
Now we have been 'on our own' really for the last 5 years we have been able to make the decision to move to another part of the UK hours away from family something we thought we would never be able to do.
Don't get too down as at least you have tried something that many would not be brave enough to do. Even if you do decide to go back you have done something different in your life.
Nov 1st 2008, 9:38 pm
#12
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Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
We are just the five of us here and like you miss family around. My Mum and Dad lived just 5 minutes walk away in the UK and we walked through to them every Sunday for Sunday dinner etc. Had other family members to go out with, my girls went out shopping with my Sister etc all things we have missed here.
It is hard and I understand what you are going through as we have been through it all.
Do you think anyone will visit you out here? We have had my parents out twice and it really gave us something to look forward to and we also have been lucky enough to go back every year since we have been here.
Try if you can and get back for a visit or get someone out here. Give yourself more time to settle then see how you feel.
Now we have been 'on our own' really for the last 5 years we have been able to make the decision to move to another part of the UK hours away from family something we thought we would never be able to do.
Don't get too down as at least you have tried something that many would not be brave enough to do. Even if you do decide to go back you have done something different in your life.
It is hard and I understand what you are going through as we have been through it all.
Do you think anyone will visit you out here? We have had my parents out twice and it really gave us something to look forward to and we also have been lucky enough to go back every year since we have been here.
Try if you can and get back for a visit or get someone out here. Give yourself more time to settle then see how you feel.
Now we have been 'on our own' really for the last 5 years we have been able to make the decision to move to another part of the UK hours away from family something we thought we would never be able to do.
Don't get too down as at least you have tried something that many would not be brave enough to do. Even if you do decide to go back you have done something different in your life.
Hi DJ my Dad is out here soon and lots of visitors in the new year which is another reason I have not got too hung up on how I feel. Maybe it will help or maybe it will be worse waving people off. One thing is I don't regret it so far and I don't think it ever will as I always wanted to emmigrate and it has been a great experience so far.
Nov 1st 2008, 9:52 pm
#13
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Posts: 171
Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Great that you have people coming over soon. Will they be here for Christmas?
The first Christmas can feel a bit strange anyway here with it being so hot and doesn't quite feel like Christmas.
Try and visit some new places whilst your visitors are here which will be good for you all too.
Saying goodbye can be tough when they leave. In the past we have just dropped them off at the airport, helped them with their cases on to the trolley and left or else it would be too much!
Look forward to your visitors coming and keep smiling.
The first Christmas can feel a bit strange anyway here with it being so hot and doesn't quite feel like Christmas.
Try and visit some new places whilst your visitors are here which will be good for you all too.
Saying goodbye can be tough when they leave. In the past we have just dropped them off at the airport, helped them with their cases on to the trolley and left or else it would be too much!
Look forward to your visitors coming and keep smiling.
Nov 1st 2008, 10:21 pm
#14
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Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Great that you have people coming over soon. Will they be here for Christmas?
The first Christmas can feel a bit strange anyway here with it being so hot and doesn't quite feel like Christmas.
Try and visit some new places whilst your visitors are here which will be good for you all too.
Saying goodbye can be tough when they leave. In the past we have just dropped them off at the airport, helped them with their cases on to the trolley and left or else it would be too much!
Look forward to your visitors coming and keep smiling.
The first Christmas can feel a bit strange anyway here with it being so hot and doesn't quite feel like Christmas.
Try and visit some new places whilst your visitors are here which will be good for you all too.
Saying goodbye can be tough when they leave. In the past we have just dropped them off at the airport, helped them with their cases on to the trolley and left or else it would be too much!
Look forward to your visitors coming and keep smiling.
Good advice regarding the airport, thanks James.
Nov 1st 2008, 10:38 pm
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Quinns Rocks, WA
Posts: 229
Re: Should I go back for a visit to the U.K
Hi Tracy
We didn't end up going for citizenship. Some people tend to do it in case they decide to come back or for their children who may decide to come back in years to come.
We don't like living in Australia and just would not want to be a citizen as it would mean nothing to us.
We are definately not going to come back here and our children have said the same. If our Daughter's end up having a gap year from University they have both said they woud prefer to travel around Europe as they think Oz is boring! Our Son (who's 9) has never settled here and I doubt he will ever think of coming back again. There are so many other more excitng places to visit in the world!
If my Hubby and I do decide to retire abroad I think we would choose Palma as we love it there.
My parents have been over here twice since we have been here and they said okay here for a holiday but to live would find it boring and they are 65 and 63!
We are originally from Sheffield but are moving back to Exeter, North Devon. It was our choice along with Perth and I wish now we had gone to Exeter in the first place rather than here!
It looks a lovely city a bit of old and new and close to the coast. The countryside is fantastic and there is so much to do for us and the children and even an airport to get us to Europe. Great schools, colleges and universities. The list goes on and we can't wait to go on 7th January.
Sold up here and living in a rental in Mindarie until we go.
We didn't end up going for citizenship. Some people tend to do it in case they decide to come back or for their children who may decide to come back in years to come.
We don't like living in Australia and just would not want to be a citizen as it would mean nothing to us.
We are definately not going to come back here and our children have said the same. If our Daughter's end up having a gap year from University they have both said they woud prefer to travel around Europe as they think Oz is boring! Our Son (who's 9) has never settled here and I doubt he will ever think of coming back again. There are so many other more excitng places to visit in the world!
If my Hubby and I do decide to retire abroad I think we would choose Palma as we love it there.
My parents have been over here twice since we have been here and they said okay here for a holiday but to live would find it boring and they are 65 and 63!
We are originally from Sheffield but are moving back to Exeter, North Devon. It was our choice along with Perth and I wish now we had gone to Exeter in the first place rather than here!
It looks a lovely city a bit of old and new and close to the coast. The countryside is fantastic and there is so much to do for us and the children and even an airport to get us to Europe. Great schools, colleges and universities. The list goes on and we can't wait to go on 7th January.
Sold up here and living in a rental in Mindarie until we go.
I have been to Devon and it is lovely there
