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Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Old Mar 24th 2018, 4:06 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

This could be written by me! I still haven’t told my parents, due to the overwhelming drama that will ensue. We are literally waiting till after I get the visa to say anything. My mom is a hypochondriac and is on oxygen for stress induced COPD. She informed me that I am the cause of her stress.
I have only told a few people, and they have been very supportive. My family will not be.
Enjoy Scotland! I will love my new life in England.
I’m not asking permission!
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Old Mar 24th 2018, 4:08 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse
That's a really good insight

Freshwhyte, whatever your mum's reasons are for reacting like this to your move, just remember that they're her emotions and she is the only one responsible for managing those emotions.

If we lived our lives according to what everyone else thought of our choices, we'd be constantly pulled hundreds of different ways and would be unable to make any decisions at all for ourselves.
this post and answers have been great! Thank you!
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Old Mar 31st 2018, 5:19 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Originally Posted by Benson55
Do what is best for you as in the end they will all be dead and you have to live with the consequences of the decisions you make now for the rest of your life.
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Old Apr 2nd 2018, 11:48 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

I am going to have the same drama with my family. We aren't saying anything to them until nearer the move. We estimate that we will be ready by xmas next year. So maybe a month out we will let them know. My brother, sister and mum are very much settled here and love it. I respect that wholeheartedly. But... they should also respect my decision to want to go back to Scotland.
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Old May 3rd 2018, 7:59 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Whatever your Mum might say about you, says more of your Mum, than it does of you.
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Old May 3rd 2018, 9:27 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

I’m trying to imagine what it would be like if one of my boys wanted to move back.

I would encourage him but I would struggle not to tell him how much I would miss him. I don’t think that would be trying to guilt him but maybe it would be perceived as such.

I cant imagine only ever seeing my boys once a year, if that, so don’t make all your Mums feel guilty for loving you!
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Old May 3rd 2018, 11:10 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

My mom guilt tripped me when I left Ireland 46 years ago. I am glad I followed my dreams and eventually moved to Canada in 1975. Our son moved to the UK 6 years ago and then moved to Australia 18 months ago. We encouraged him to travel and follow his dreams.
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Old May 4th 2018, 10:57 am
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Originally Posted by DandNHill
I’m trying to imagine what it would be like if one of my boys wanted to move back.

I would encourage him but I would struggle not to tell him how much I would miss him. I don’t think that would be trying to guilt him but maybe it would be perceived as such.

I cant imagine only ever seeing my boys once a year, if that, so don’t make all your Mums feel guilty for loving you!
It's weird what you get used to. My daughter moved back to the UK last June however with Messenger, Whatsapp etc we are in contact a lot. She came home for a two week surprise (for me) holiday last month, it was fantastic to actually have her in the house but it didn't break my heart when she left again. I can't begin to imagine how impossibly hard it must have been before affordable International phone calls, internet, cheap flights etc.
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Old May 4th 2018, 11:58 am
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Originally Posted by moneypenny20
It's weird what you get used to. My daughter moved back to the UK last June however with Messenger, Whatsapp etc we are in contact a lot. She came home for a two week surprise (for me) holiday last month, it was fantastic to actually have her in the house but it didn't break my heart when she left again. I can't begin to imagine how impossibly hard it must have been before affordable International phone calls, internet, cheap flights etc.
This is exactly how I feel. We have another son who lives 20 minutes away and we actually are in touch with our son in Australia more often.
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Old May 4th 2018, 3:46 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

When we came to Arizona in 1985 one of the ways we kept in touch was to exchange cassette tapes. Although my dad died in 2002 and my mum has dementia and no longer recognizes me, I have these 90 minute tapes with my dad speaking for 45 minutes on one side and my mum on the other. When I occasionally play a tape it is like my mum and dad are in the room with me and I cry and I laugh and am so happy I have the tapes.

I go for months at a time without seeing any of our 3 sons. The only day that I find hard without seeing them is Mother’s Day.
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Old May 5th 2018, 3:37 am
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Originally Posted by moneypenny20
It's weird what you get used to. My daughter moved back to the UK last June however with Messenger, Whatsapp etc we are in contact a lot. She came home for a two week surprise (for me) holiday last month, it was fantastic to actually have her in the house but it didn't break my heart when she left again. I can't begin to imagine how impossibly hard it must have been before affordable International phone calls, internet, cheap flights etc.
I remember those days. My parents moved us away to Algeria then France when I was 9 years old. We would phone our grandparents on birthdays and Christmas and occasionally just because.... but it was expensive so the calls were quick.
No Facebook or Skype in those days...
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Old May 5th 2018, 9:43 am
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Originally Posted by DandNHill


I remember those days. My parents moved us away to Algeria then France when I was 9 years old. We would phone our grandparents on birthdays and Christmas and occasionally just because.... but it was expensive so the calls were quick.
No Facebook or Skype in those days...
Yeah my sister moved to Greece in the late 70s. A phone call every few months was all that could be managed and very occasional letters because she was a rubbish letter writer.
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Old May 5th 2018, 12:21 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Originally Posted by moneypenny20
Yeah my sister moved to Greece in the late 70s. A phone call every few months was all that could be managed and very occasional letters because she was a rubbish letter writer.
was your sister Shirley valentine? 😊
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Old May 5th 2018, 12:31 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Originally Posted by DandNHill


was your sister Shirley valentine? 😊
Just your typical 20 year old looking for adventure and finding a bloke who turned out to be an arsehole. If she'd found Tom Conti that would have been awesome.
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Old May 5th 2018, 3:13 pm
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Default Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?

Originally Posted by moneypenny20
Just your typical 20 year old looking for adventure and finding a bloke who turned out to be an arsehole. If she'd found Tom Conti that would have been awesome.
I would move to Greece for that life. Sadly hubby didn’t like it there... still can’t understand why not.
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