Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
#16
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2017
Location: Pa
Posts: 20
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
This could be written by me! I still haven’t told my parents, due to the overwhelming drama that will ensue. We are literally waiting till after I get the visa to say anything. My mom is a hypochondriac and is on oxygen for stress induced COPD. She informed me that I am the cause of her stress.
I have only told a few people, and they have been very supportive. My family will not be.
Enjoy Scotland! I will love my new life in England.
I’m not asking permission!
I have only told a few people, and they have been very supportive. My family will not be.
Enjoy Scotland! I will love my new life in England.
I’m not asking permission!
#17
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2017
Location: Pa
Posts: 20
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
That's a really good insight
Freshwhyte, whatever your mum's reasons are for reacting like this to your move, just remember that they're her emotions and she is the only one responsible for managing those emotions.
If we lived our lives according to what everyone else thought of our choices, we'd be constantly pulled hundreds of different ways and would be unable to make any decisions at all for ourselves.
Freshwhyte, whatever your mum's reasons are for reacting like this to your move, just remember that they're her emotions and she is the only one responsible for managing those emotions.
If we lived our lives according to what everyone else thought of our choices, we'd be constantly pulled hundreds of different ways and would be unable to make any decisions at all for ourselves.
#19
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 13
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
I am going to have the same drama with my family. We aren't saying anything to them until nearer the move. We estimate that we will be ready by xmas next year. So maybe a month out we will let them know. My brother, sister and mum are very much settled here and love it. I respect that wholeheartedly. But... they should also respect my decision to want to go back to Scotland.
#20
Just Joined
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 7
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
Whatever your Mum might say about you, says more of your Mum, than it does of you.
#21
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
I’m trying to imagine what it would be like if one of my boys wanted to move back.
I would encourage him but I would struggle not to tell him how much I would miss him. I don’t think that would be trying to guilt him but maybe it would be perceived as such.
I cant imagine only ever seeing my boys once a year, if that, so don’t make all your Mums feel guilty for loving you!
I would encourage him but I would struggle not to tell him how much I would miss him. I don’t think that would be trying to guilt him but maybe it would be perceived as such.
I cant imagine only ever seeing my boys once a year, if that, so don’t make all your Mums feel guilty for loving you!
#22
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 170
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
My mom guilt tripped me when I left Ireland 46 years ago. I am glad I followed my dreams and eventually moved to Canada in 1975. Our son moved to the UK 6 years ago and then moved to Australia 18 months ago. We encouraged him to travel and follow his dreams.
#23
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
I’m trying to imagine what it would be like if one of my boys wanted to move back.
I would encourage him but I would struggle not to tell him how much I would miss him. I don’t think that would be trying to guilt him but maybe it would be perceived as such.
I cant imagine only ever seeing my boys once a year, if that, so don’t make all your Mums feel guilty for loving you!
I would encourage him but I would struggle not to tell him how much I would miss him. I don’t think that would be trying to guilt him but maybe it would be perceived as such.
I cant imagine only ever seeing my boys once a year, if that, so don’t make all your Mums feel guilty for loving you!
#24
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 170
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
It's weird what you get used to. My daughter moved back to the UK last June however with Messenger, Whatsapp etc we are in contact a lot. She came home for a two week surprise (for me) holiday last month, it was fantastic to actually have her in the house but it didn't break my heart when she left again. I can't begin to imagine how impossibly hard it must have been before affordable International phone calls, internet, cheap flights etc.
#25
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2016
Location: Scotland
Posts: 200
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
When we came to Arizona in 1985 one of the ways we kept in touch was to exchange cassette tapes. Although my dad died in 2002 and my mum has dementia and no longer recognizes me, I have these 90 minute tapes with my dad speaking for 45 minutes on one side and my mum on the other. When I occasionally play a tape it is like my mum and dad are in the room with me and I cry and I laugh and am so happy I have the tapes.
I go for months at a time without seeing any of our 3 sons. The only day that I find hard without seeing them is Mother’s Day.
I go for months at a time without seeing any of our 3 sons. The only day that I find hard without seeing them is Mother’s Day.
#26
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
It's weird what you get used to. My daughter moved back to the UK last June however with Messenger, Whatsapp etc we are in contact a lot. She came home for a two week surprise (for me) holiday last month, it was fantastic to actually have her in the house but it didn't break my heart when she left again. I can't begin to imagine how impossibly hard it must have been before affordable International phone calls, internet, cheap flights etc.
No Facebook or Skype in those days...
#27
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
I remember those days. My parents moved us away to Algeria then France when I was 9 years old. We would phone our grandparents on birthdays and Christmas and occasionally just because.... but it was expensive so the calls were quick.
No Facebook or Skype in those days...
#30
Re: Resentment from Family/Friends For Moving ?
I would move to Greece for that life. Sadly hubby didn’t like it there... still can’t understand why not.