The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

It's all about food and drinking. Being small I can't do much of either so I find this kind of Christmas in the heat utterly boring. I remember the UK Christmas being a bit flat after dinner but it had more anticipation and a bit more meaning.
Maybe it's just the way Christmas is these days but it seemed to have more substance in the UK.

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Its my first xmas here, husband is working, I was meant to go to the beach with some Aussie pals but have mild heatstroke so thought it best I stay in.

Up until yesterday it didnt feel like Christmas at all, and then once I got to work it did - everyone was so excited, running in and out of each other cubicles planning our lunchtime drink.

I went to Cottesloe, my sister and friend saw me on TV:wub:

Its been wall to wall christmas carols/films on TV, the guy who I was meant to go to the beach BBQ with, was worried about me and rocked up at my house, gave me his number in case I needed anything.

I feel very chilled out, I am relishing in the fact the street decorations were not ripped down like they were where I lived in the UK, and enjoying the cheesiness of it all - the hype that was around when I was a little girl that somehow got lost along the way.

For me the biggest learning curve is that the Christmas spirit so to speak, cannot be created for you 100 percent, it has to come from you and if it aint happening then it aint happening.

It will be 3 years tomorrow that my Mum died and normally I get quite upset, but for the first time since, I am chilled out and at peace with everything.

That sounds silly and I cant explain it very well but I know what I mean.

It feels Christmassy to me, I feel Christmassy and it has been the best one in a long time.

My husband is due home from work soon and we are going to have our turkey dinner and then we have a selection of bbqs to go to over the next week or so.

Its different, it sure is different but it is far more relaxed and I am enjoying having a feeling that I have never had before, being comfortable with myself and everything around me.

Merry Christmas everyone - wherever you are, hope you all have a good day - especially Flea, who SO deserves a fabulous 2009.:wub:

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

When it's your first Christmas, it is a novelty but I've been here 5 years and I am over the fake Christmas routine of stuff your face till you drop especially as i Know so many people are doing it tough.
I miss the collecting of holly, ivy, fir and mistletoe, which costs nothing, and those log fires and roasted chestnuts. I miss the spirit of Christmas when you never knew if it was going to snow, or freeze, or what might be in the Queens speech. I miss the real giving of baking a few mince pies for an elderly neighbour, then taking them round and watching their face in total appreciation because they thought everyone had forgotten them.
I miss those Church bells ringing at midnight and those heavenly voices singing carols down the street. I miss the ordinary routine of stuffing the turkey, asking who wants stuffing, getting all those raised eyebrows, then piling stuffing onto the plates of all those relatives who you know hate stuffing but just because they turned up at yours, you're going to make them eat it anyway...... Yep, at this time of year, England is extra special.:)

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

I think with Christmas, the decor/tinsel is fake wherever you go, Perth is no different but I love it, I love having it wall to wall tinsel/fakeness as its for a short period of time.

Where I lived in London, the cultural awareness/sensitivity used to drive me mad, the kids had to say 'happy winterville' - what a crock, its 'happy christmas'.

I hated the way the decorations were taken down xmas eve to make way for the easter, it were as though it was never Christmas.

The way everything was geared around cultural sensitivity - I wanted to yell 'Its Christmas, if people dont like it then that is their problem'.

Everything we did for our UK Chrismtas can be replicated here. My family never visited me at Christmas in the UK so its no different here.

Low key/ barely-there Christmas or tatt and tinsel everywhere and a hyped up Christmas, I prefer the Perth version.

Its not Winterville, its Christmas and its lovely - I love the tacky noisy musical toys and how OTT it is in Perth.

I always felt cheated of Christmas where I lived before, it was almost as though they were slowly trying to minimise it as much as possible.

No doubt we will build our own traditions here but so far, it suits me.

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Dear PP,
Why isit you always make me laugh or cry with your observations?
Christmas didnt feel like christmas and not because i had no family here. The opposite is true and i was even more miserable because i didnt want to be withthem but felt like i had to be because it is my first xmas here.
my sister lives here and we have never been alike. this isnt usually a problem but now she is my only family here. i was getting used to the fact that we are like aliens to each other but my other sister is over for two weeks from england and she is acting like i am an alien too - we lived together in harmony for 3 years before i left 3 months ago - and she and my oz sister are all over each other and dont seem to want to spend time with me - only out of duty! My uk sister is a right lush most of the time but every time i have a drink she glares at me like i am an alcohol fiend! the oz one doesnt really drink!
Yesterday i rushed away from my friends house that felt so much more fun to get to the 'do''at my sisters which i soaked myself in alcohol to cope with.
my partner who will tell me if i am being a nightmare is totally with me and says that they are both being odd towards me!
trouble is if i ask them why they are excluding me they will say that they are not because i am being invited to everything and then huddling together and taking the piss, sniggering, hugging each other, etc - it feels like the twos company thing except when i am with them individually, they still act odd!
My boyfriend thinks i have abandoned one and am encroaching on the others territory! maybe he is right! if i avoid them then it becomes me being odd with them to the rest of the family but because i dont want to be like that, i have to suffer being reminded every couple of days how much they really dont want me to be around them!
i feel so sad because the two people apart from my boyfriend who i am closest to are the uk sisters daughter and my mum who my uk sister lives with! who can i talk to?!
So anyway, that was the problem with my oz xmas!
Lynn x

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

People always assume that you should want to be with family, It is so sad that you had to do this because you were obliged to.

Ive always been a loner and spent many a lonely day in my flat in London, some of the darkest hours of my life were after my Mum died (3 years ago today to be precise:() and it was my friends I wanted to be with.

I have learned that you should live to make yourself happy and there comes a time where you have to let others and that includes family, please themselves.

Once you get that theory, it becomes a bit easier.

Shame you dont live near me, you would have been more than welcome :wub:. My sister felt sorry for me being on my own yesterday but it really was quite nice.

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Dear PP,
Thanks again for being there for me. You gave me some great advice before and you have again so thanks doll.
You are very sweet and i feel for you about your mum. Just read a bit of your blog and again you made me laugh and cry!
love Lynn x

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

We shall sort out meeting up for coffee:thumbup:

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Hate, hate, hate christmas here. Thank god it has been our last one!!

No sense of occasion

We consoled ourselves by hooking up with family via webcam. I got to watch the grandkids open their prezzies. OH donned his santa suit the week before and all the kids lined up on the cam to tell santa what they wanted :lol:

It was fun, but as usual totally detached :(

Bring on next christmas as i have it all planned out already!! Big tree, loads of prezzies under it. The entire Fleaflo brood in MY home for dinner. Cant wait!

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

PP - sounds good.
:) Lynn XX

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

It must be awful for you, your grand kiddies in another country, of course you should be with them.

I bet you, next Christmas you will be with them - all as it is meant to be and it will be the best Christmas ever - as you deserve.:wub:

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Felt as bereft as ever this year. Went to the inlaws (9 hour drive there, 9 hour drive back:eek:) and though they are lovely people they are not MY people. Christmas lunch was pleasant enough but DH's family are restraint personified, not too many laughs and no silliness. I so missed my folks and had to make do with the half hour chat in the evening. The loneliness was palpable even in the middle of a crowd of quite nice people.

Didnt even get to spend Christmas with the granddaughter either as her mum's family is HUGE and attendance at their gatherings for all family members is mandatory (chances are we will never get Christmas day with her) but they are rebelling and coming for a few days this week to help DH celebrate a fairly momentous birthday even though her family's festivities go on until NY day.

Next year I am going to spend the entire festive season under the doona and not get out until 12th night:rofl:

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

I just want to say that that is a HORRIBLE thing to say about your Rellies! You should count your blessings that you have some family over here that have invited you into their home to share this special time of year with. I have been in Oz for 5 years and have just spent my fifth Christmas without any of my relatives here and it is DAMN right hard! I think you need to stop for a second before you start bagging out your two sisters to the whole of BritishExpats and think about how you would feel if the tables were turned and it was you they were bagging out? Remember the wise old saying, if you haven't got anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all!!

Brenda.

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Oh dear .. you're not the sister are you? :huh::o

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No, I'm not. I wish dearly that I had some relatives over here, but unfortunatly, it's just me!

Brenda.

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Yes, I know just how you feel. I only have my husband here. Although I do have a handful of Aussie friends its just not the same as they dont understand. I never talk to them about how i feel.

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Have u considered that maybe it is u that feels different and not them? Think about it - can you think of any reason you have upset them? I am sure you have only been helpful and thankful and not expected things to be given free without some offer of compromise or an attempt to repay your way. As I said in a previous post I doubt family would expect you to pay your way until you got on your feet in the new country but it is all in the appreciation rather than the act itself.

Perhaps you should talk to your sisters if you think they are treating you oddly. Would that not be better than suffering through truckload of alcohol? You may find that it is the stresses of life, living and time of year that is at hand and nothing about you at all. Look outside of youself and the answer may come.

I am not a professional but check it out and let it be gone rather then let your time here be ruined buy self doubt and imposing problems.

:thumbup:

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

well our xmas was in UAE not OZ...and it was fab ....dinner with lots of friends at the golf club..then in the evening we went to freinds was loads there and we had an outdoor party complete with a huge wood burner and kids toasted mallows and chestnuts and sang and it was truly a great day ......boxing day was at mine and there was 50 plus there complete with pinuattas ,kareoke,loads of food ,etc and a fantastic 2 days .....yes it would have been complete had my grandson been there but alas next year already booked their tickets xxxxxx....HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL XXXXXXXXXX

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Red Hot Summer, You too are probably right. I am sure that i havent shown enough appreciation for all that she has done for me. I have tried but maybe she doesnt feel that i have and is upset with me for what she thinks is freeloading. We stayed for 2 weeks when we arrived and then for another week a couple of weeks ago and bough nearly all our own food and we have said thankyou and tried to stay out of their way as much as possible.
I have also tried to tidy up but whenever i do i am told to leave it!
Also when my oz sister came to England in July, we gave up our room for a month and had to go and live with my partners parents for nearly 3 weeks of that time which was hell but we gladly did it. I know that we all can point the finger and say she didnt do that and vice versa but all i want is to be able to hang out with my sisters and have fun.
My partners has lived with me and my uk sister for 3.5 years and even he is saying that she is acting odd.
Oh well, i dont know what else to do. I have asked them out tomorrow and maybe it will be nice. I hope so.

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Dear Brenda, You are right it was a horrible thing to say. I didnt mean to bag my sisters to all on BE. I have only been here a few weeks and am really feeling the strain at the moment. My partner and i spent alot of christmas day sobbing!
I just want to feel close to them. Im sure when you were first here, you probably needed alot of emotional support and if you had someone close to you, you would try to turn to them.
I could give examples of stuff that they have said or done and maybe none of it was meant in a hurtful way but right now i am a bit raw. Im sure you can relate having left all your family to come to oz yourself.
Dont get me wrong, i love my sisters dearly and would LOVE to be able to spend some quality time with them but it doesnt seem to be working out like that. I have asked them out tomorrow so maybe we WILL manage some quality time before my UK sister goes home.
I wish that i could just jump straight from december 23rd to january 3rd and miss out this whole christmas/new year berevement stuff!
Happy new year to you Brenda.
Sidneee
PS Brenda Williams was a Motown star. Are you named after her?

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

I can relate to this. I had the worst Christmas (been here 5 years) but only in the sense that I came face to face with my own expectation with what Christmas is supposed to be like versus the reality of what it IS like here in Australia.
I got the half hour lip service from my son in a short visit by him and his girlfriend. I knew it was lip service but hoped it might have been genuine. However my feelings about the girlfriend and her family have been correct all along. They are extremely selfish and insist on coming first in every way so I got half an hour while they got the rest of Christmas sharing together as a family.

My daughter, who is in the UK, wrote me the most angry, hurtful, spiteful email two days before Christmas pointing out all my failings and telling what a crap mother I've always been. :ohmy: She's angry because I'm still here trying to get home and thinks I'm living the life of Riley. Her email ruined my Christmas and frankly I'm sick of being on the receiving end of her anger (she's 27 next month), just because she isn't coming first. I didn't receive a card or any gesture of good will from her at all and it's made me upset because I made Christmas so lovely for my kids all their lives. Hand made quilts, gingerbread men, christmas decorations, far too many presents probably but above all, I made Christmas a warm and special time for them both. I'm very hurt by their selfishness but I honestly believe it's their generation. They've become life's takers and that this credit crunch is going to be the big boot sorting them out.

Anyway, 3 more months and hopefully I'll be home starting life again. Thank Christ Christmas is over.

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Sidneee, I am sorry if I seemed blunt, reading your answer to me made me realise I was. Sorry. I was in a similar situation about 2 years ago. I came over to Oz and originally moved to the Gold Coast and stayed with my sister, who I had not seen for about 4 years. She told me save my pennies and just help around the house and see her kids off to school in return for not paying anything but after I left I didn't hear from her. Turns out she resented me for not offering to help with $$, even after she said not to worry. Was a sad time and a even to this day there is a small wall we can't seem to get past. I guess that why I am so much for ask! ask! ask! and offer! and etc etc.... I hope you work out whatever it is and you don't have to go through what I do to this day. Family is first, so best of luck. :)

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

I've got it sussed now, this was the best Christmas in five years. Worked all night all week, slept all day.
On the brief moments that I came up for air I have been lectured by the MiL for my extravagance - only using teabags once, and as for my wasteful habit of buying bathmats instead of putting a towel on the floor......well, I'm so evil :lol: I can cope with the odd few minutes though, before bolting out the door to work again. No fights, no arguing, plkenty of UK sitcoms on TV and not had to fight anyone for access to them.......
All I need now is to get hold of the rosters for next year and see if I can volunteer to do the same shifts again :)

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

i suppose a "good" christmas, is what you remembered and enjoyed from your childhood...i have just spent the last christmas for me, in london, and all i seemed to see were a lot of materialistic people buzzing around with no regard for any one else, spending money they probably shouldn't have!
i had some chestnuts at the market...horrible shrivelled up things...i think they may have been rotten, so not a nice first chestnut experience!!
but my christmas wasn't like nigella's, with all the fancy decorations and trimmings .....and i didn't care....i spent the day with precious friends, and avoided a turkey, as i prefer animals alive rather than dead:lol:

but christmas is no more "genuine" in england than in australia!!!
the british can't claim christmas as theirs!
just because people in a different climate celebrate christmas in a way more fitting for their conditions doesn't make it wrong... its just different than what you were used to...and i know that you can still have turkey and all the trimmings at oz christmases, as we did growing up there....even mince pies...! and elderley people in oz would appreciate a plate of mince pies to remind them they're not forgotten about too....
it really is ,as someone else said what you make of it....and this christmas or others before, probably disappointed because your heart was somewhere else, as mine also was this year....
i imagine that nice christmas someone was descibing before in a little village setting somewhere along way from london...i never had a christmas like that here....it was all just shops using "christmas spirit" to try and pump money out of you!

at the end of the day though, christmas is not actually about trees and trimmings and turkeys....its supposed to be about celebrating the birth of christ,and you can do that where ever you are! (even if you would rather be somewhere else!)

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Very much like Brisbane then.

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unfortunately ,i think the whole world is going this way!

materialistic and self focused!:(

maybe the credit crunch will help sort this end of things out, and maybe people will do a bit more of the thoughtful homebaking etc as a gift for people instead of the mindless junk everyone scrambles to buy these days...!!

but rest assured...mean spiritedness abounds in both cultures at christmas unfortunately....one of my most memorable christmas food buying experiences was on the gold coast 10 years ago, in coles .
having crouched down to get a packet off the very bottom shelf, i looked up to see a very determined women charging at me from a distance with her shopping trolley and a very focused, and grumpy look on het face- at ME!!!:eek:
i was sure she was going to stop, but apparently i was in her way, and she bowled me over, and sent me flying across the aisle and went on her merry way!!!:confused::curse::thumbdown:
obviously i had no right to be there, and was offered no apology, and i went home thinking "merry christmas to you too"!!!
what is wrong with the world when people treat each other like that at a time when its supposed to be good will to men???

maybe its because i was a woman???

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

LOL, we will arrange for a cyclone or bush fire in your area next year, that should do it for you - get you well past NY too I should think!

At least I didnt have that problem with my MIL - with her it was more a problem of "who on earth are you?" and "I dont know what is going to become of me" (read into that "hint, hint, I would really like to go home with you and you could look after me instead of having to stay in this dreadful nursing home" - yeah right!)

I think I might put my hand up for a rostered shift next Christmas unless I can get myself home for the occasion - sounds like a good plan!

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

I don't know if it's because I live in a wealthy area but I have never seen greed, decadence and self indulgence in the UK on the scale I've seen it here. I think partly, Christmas has become an excuse to have a huge binge eating and drinking session but I also think that in some ways, the lifestyle of excesses here where I am is normal behaviour.

Not that long ago, we were invited to a party night at a friends English pub. He provided a generous free buffet, free live entertainment and all we had to do was turn up and pay for drinks. It was an incentive for him to draw in more customers and keep them returning. As we'd been to first party night and enjoyed it, we decided to go again. We got there about 7.30pm and thought it seemed quiet. We were the only ones there buying drinks.
The tables where the food was to be placed were set against a backdrop of terraced planters full of greenery so the idea was that people would file a queue, pick up a plate then proceed up in line along the front side of the tables.
Just as the food was being brought out at 8pm, a crowd of the locals arrived and honestly what happened next was totally unbelievable. On seeing the queue lining up at the front of the table, the women from the crowd shoved and pushed their way around the back of tables squeezing themselves between the food and the plants. With absolutely no decorum or manners whatsoever, they piled their plates full of food and were filling their mouths at the same time. By the time they'd finished, it looked like a plague of locusts had landed. There was not enough food for everyone who turned up thereafter despite the landlord gracing us all with generous helpings. He hadn't skimped on anything.

These women were mostly overweight, well off, well dressed locals so now whenever anyone makes a stab at how certain groups of society behave and relate their behaviour to the underclass or chavism, I honestly think they should come to the wealthier areas and see how some of locals behave because to use their own words, 'they can'.

In all my time of living in the UK, i have never seen such manners or greed as I have here on the Gold Coast.

Re: The Problem With An Oz Christmas
 

Interesting that everyone thinks Oz Christmas is all about greed (and no this is not an Oz is great/UK is crap comment).
I can honestly say that the eating /drinking to excess is something all Western countries seem to do at Christmas. My many many christmases in London were all filled with drinking sessions throughout December.

Christmas is not the same here- of course it should be cold and dark:D- but it is the same on the commercialisation/shopping mentality scale.
All my (UK) family complained once again that "it doesn't feel like Christmas"- I guess because we are not all 8 years old and excited by Santa.

One thing I think Australia does well, is the emphasis on appeals at Christmas- and they are not the 'in-your-face' tin rattling outside every shop. We gave to K mart Wishing Tree, Smith family and a local one near my childcare- they seemed well organised and genuine. In UK, I only seem to be accosted by chuggers (charity 'muggers' who get a commission for signing you up to a direct debit) who will not take no for an answer.

I do miss my Christmases of childhood, when it always snowed, everyone was friendly to each other, and Christmas was about having a family gathering.... and of course childhood summers were always long and hot (even in Wales!)

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This was my 3rd and last Christmas in OZ.

Thank god:p

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I can honestly see why people are in financial hell yet they don't seem to be able to help themselves. I can't understand why crowds start queuing at 2am for the sales, spend like crazy, then feel relieved that they have saved money???:confused:
Someone told me that their food bill for the two days was over $1,000 just for four people then moaned at the expense.
My son only this week mentioned the words 'depreciating asset'. One more time I told him that it isn't a asset if it's depreciating, it's a liability costing money. At 25 he still doesn't understand asset versus liability. Every time he spends on his credit card, he's creating a liability yet the kids have gone out and hit the sales buying stuff they don't need on their cards then they say they will have to work overtime to pay it off.

I think 2009 is going to be very interesting.

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Certainly worked for me this year. The Bloke drove the MiL home today, she didn't want to stay any longer even though I had the day off today, so is obviously no keener on spending time with me than I am with her! Just a shame I couldn't drive home with her but I have to be up early for work tomorrow! Volunteer for whatever is going on next year, I know I will be :)