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-   -   Please eliminate my concerns! (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/please-eliminate-my-concerns-576143/)

backagen Nov 30th 2008 9:10 pm

Please eliminate my concerns!
 
I'm slowly getting closer to being able to make the big decision to move back to UK.

Here's the things that are holding me back though. If anyone can help to put my mind at ease about these things it would be greatly appreciated and might help me finally make that decision!

1. Houses not as nice in UK as in Australia
2. Houses nowhere near as cheap in UK as Australia
3. Not sure if I could get a good job in UK that I would enjoy and that pays well
4. I'm concerned about the crime rate in UK
5. Weather not as good in UK, in my opinion.
6. I get the impression the overall cost of living is higher and the overall standard of living lower in UK.

Baby75 Nov 30th 2008 9:49 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 

Originally Posted by backagen (Post 7025345)
I'm slowly getting closer to being able to make the big decision to move back to UK.

Here's the things that are holding me back though. If anyone can help to put my mind at ease about these things it would be greatly appreciated and might help me finally make that decision!

1. Houses not as nice in UK as in Australia
2. Houses nowhere near as cheap in UK as Australia
3. Not sure if I could get a good job in UK that I would enjoy and that pays well
4. I'm concerned about the crime rate in UK
5. Weather not as good in UK, in my opinion.

lots to think about, would the current down turn make nicer houses more affordable now, or may be rent with a view to buy your own land and build what you want in a house.

I am not sure of the job situation i worry about that my self for my husband but for us we are planning on doing what ever work comes our way so we can earn money on till the job situation improves

crime I think there has been a couple of threads on that i don't think the UK has a higher crime rate its here as well when i listen to the news its innocent people being hurt and killed here. were ever you go there is crime

no less sunshine but i don't mind that there are plenty of places not far for a summer break plus im looking forward to long summer evenings again

I guess i probably haven't helped at all I hope some one else can

one question though what makes you want to go back :)

backagen Nov 30th 2008 9:55 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 
Is there anywhere in UK where you CAN buy land and build, without it costing a fortune? One of the things putting me off was that I didn't think you could. It's certainly nowhere near as common as it is here.

I could afford to not work for a few months and actually would enjoy a break from the stress of work, but obviously the longer I do that the more it eats into my savings which I should invest in a house!

You have helped, so thanks!!

What makes me want to go back?
- I have elderly grandparents there and if I don't spend some precious time with them now it will be too late soon.
- I have cousins and an uncle and aunt there who I also would like to be able to spend more time with
- I want to explore places I haven't seen in my own country and experience the history and culture more.
- I want to be able to take sentimental trips down memory lane and see the places I grew up, whenever it suits me
- I want to take holidays at Butlins where I used to go as a kid, and in 2009 there are two MASSIVE once in a lifetime Butlins events that I just MUST go to!

rabsody Nov 30th 2008 10:34 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 

Originally Posted by backagen (Post 7025427)
Is there anywhere in UK where you CAN buy land and build, without it costing a fortune? One of the things putting me off was that I didn't think you could. It's certainly nowhere near as common as it is here.

I could afford to not work for a few months and actually would enjoy a break from the stress of work, but obviously the longer I do that the more it eats into my savings which I should invest in a house!

You have helped, so thanks!!

What makes me want to go back?
- I have elderly grandparents there and if I don't spend some precious time with them now it will be too late soon.
- I have cousins and an uncle and aunt there who I also would like to be able to spend more time with
- I want to explore places I haven't seen in my own country and experience the history and culture more.
- I want to be able to take sentimental trips down memory lane and see the places I grew up, whenever it suits me
- I want to take holidays at Butlins where I used to go as a kid, and in 2009 there are two MASSIVE once in a lifetime Butlins events that I just MUST go to!


Backagen

With all due respect (and please don't take it the wrong way) but have you thought about going and talking all this through with a professional like a counsellor or something?

You sound like you are in such an ongoing quandary with the to-ing and fro-ing trying to make the decision. You almost sound like you are having to try and convince yourself to go. Maybe head and heart are pulling in different directions? If you went to see someone completely impartial often they can help you see the woods for the trees and give you the clarity you need (hey, it's worked for me in the past! ;)).

Best of luck, not an easy decision.

Faye :)

backagen Nov 30th 2008 10:38 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 
Thanks Rabsody, and I don't take it the wrong way but I answered this exact same question in another thread recently. I don't find counsellors / psychologists helpful at all unless they happen to be someone who has personally gone through something very similar to what I'm experiencing that is causing me difficulty.

I have nothing against psychologists and counsellors and I'm sure some people in some situations do find them helpful, but I have never found them so.

You're absolutely right that I'm having a hell of a time making up my mind, but I find it far more helpful and find I get much more useful advice on this forum (from people who may have experienced or are experiencing something similar) than I would from some counseller who means well but has never experienced anything remotely like this!

I guess it's the internet equivelent of a "self help group"

rabsody Nov 30th 2008 10:57 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 

Originally Posted by backagen (Post 7025537)
Thanks Rabsody, and I don't take it the wrong way but I answered this exact same question in another thread recently. I don't find counsellors / psychologists helpful at all unless they happen to be someone who has personally gone through something very similar to what I'm experiencing that is causing me difficulty.

I have nothing against psychologists and counsellors and I'm sure some people in some situations do find them helpful, but I have never found them so.

You're absolutely right that I'm having a hell of a time making up my mind, but I find it far more helpful and find I get much more useful advice on this forum (from people who may have experienced or are experiencing something similar) than I would from some counseller who means well but has never experienced anything remotely like this!

I guess it's the internet equivelent of a "self help group"

Well I'm pleased this section of BE is at least helping you. As you say counsellors etc are not for everyone. I wish you well in the rest of your decision making process, it's bloody awful when you can't make your mind up on such a major decision isn't it. I hate that feeling of being "stuck".

All the best :):wub:

Grayling Nov 30th 2008 11:03 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 
My house in Australia cost more than my house in the UK and it is much smaller

the australian weather is rubbish for doing the things I want to do.

I earned far more in the UK than I could here

I find the cost of living far more expensive in Australia.

G

rabsody Nov 30th 2008 11:08 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 

Originally Posted by Grayling (Post 7025590)
the australian weather is rubbish for doing the things I want to do..

G

Particularly this past month where it's been either pelting it down, storming or stinking hot and humid. Can't wait to escape to the cold in England over Xmas (and I never thought I'd hear myself say that!).

backagen Nov 30th 2008 11:14 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 

Originally Posted by rabsody (Post 7025576)
Well I'm pleased this section of BE is at least helping you. As you say counsellors etc are not for everyone. I wish you well in the rest of your decision making process, it's bloody awful when you can't make your mind up on such a major decision isn't it. I hate that feeling of being "stuck".

All the best :):wub:

It is indeed! Having just made one such decision I think I have learned one thing, and that is that if you feel uneasy and stressed while trying to decide, it's probably for a very good reason.

If once you've made the decision you still feel that way, you probably made the WRONG choice and perhaps should look at changing it if it's not too late to do so.

If however you make your decision and quickly begin to feel relieved that you have done so, you probably made the BEST CHOICE you could have in the circumstances (even if the option you didn't take still seems like it would have appealed to you in some ways)!

In other words, trust your "gut instinct"!

Grayling Nov 30th 2008 11:14 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 

Originally Posted by rabsody (Post 7025599)
Particularly this past month where it's been either pelting it down, storming or stinking hot and humid. Can't wait to escape to the cold in England over Xmas (and I never thought I'd hear myself say that!).

You lucky lucky b*****d:frown:

Wish I was going there for Xmas....can't get into the swing of it here at all:(

Make sure you enjoy......and not too many bad heads:p:rofl:

You have still got to find me a decent pub with good beer:thumbup:

G

rabsody Nov 30th 2008 11:15 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 

Originally Posted by backagen (Post 7025615)
It is indeed! Having just made one such decision I think I have learned one thing, and that is that if you feel uneasy and stressed while trying to decide, it's probably for a very good reason.

If once you've made the decision you still feel that way, you probably made the WRONG choice!

If however you make your decision and quickly begin to feel relieved that you have done so, you probably made the BEST CHOICE you could have in the circumstances.

In other words, trust your "gut instinct"!

Very true. So what's your verdict then?

rabsody Nov 30th 2008 11:17 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 

Originally Posted by Grayling (Post 7025617)
You lucky lucky b*****d:frown:

Wish I was going there for Xmas....can't get into the swing of it here at all:(

Make sure you enjoy......and not too many bad heads:p:rofl:

You have still got to find me a decent pub with good beer:thumbup:

G

Yeah well you can have the horrendous credit card bill I will no doubt be sporting on my return to pay for this ruddy trip! ;)

Soooo pleased to be going, but the timing couldn't really have been worse. :p Still, I will get to spend Xmas with family, you can't put a price on that. :)

Bad heads? Moi? Oh Grayling, ye of little faith! :lol:

You're on! We are definitely having a drink in the New Year when I get back :thumbsup:

backagen Nov 30th 2008 11:18 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 
I was referring to another decision I recently had to make that was extremely hard and explained on another thread "Need to make a decision fast, please help!"

As for my verdict on moving to UK or not, I haven't quite got there yet and TBH I need a bit of a break from making major life changing decisions having just made that previous one!!!

rabsody Nov 30th 2008 11:19 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 

Originally Posted by backagen (Post 7025630)
I was referring to another decision I recently had to make that was extremely hard and explained on another thread "Need to make a decision fast, please help!"

As for my verdict on moving to UK or not, I haven't quite got there yet and TBH I need a bit of a break from making major life changing decisions having just made that previous one.

Ah ok, I shall have to have a read.

Yeah, take Christmas off from decision making; relax and enjoy yourself :)

Grayling Nov 30th 2008 11:21 pm

Re: Please eliminate my concerns!
 

Originally Posted by rabsody (Post 7025629)
Bad heads? Moi? Oh Grayling, ye of little faith! :lol:

You're on! We are definitely having a drink in the New Year when I get back :thumbsup:

Little faith?.. moi? ( I remember your plight last week:p).....if I went back for Xmas I would definitely have a bad head:lol:

Don't forget to save some cash for my beer:thumbsup:

G


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