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Planning on moving back but to where?!
Hi All,
Well I think me and my family are destined to return to UK from Vancouver very soon in the new year. At this point we would have been here a few years. Homesickness is NOT so much the problem as far as I'm concerned. Being sick of our situation in Vancouver IS very much the issue. I won't paraphrase my other recent posts but you're welcome to look these up. So what has pushed me to this decision? Well a number of factors, any of which would have been justification on their own. The key two are (1) my work situation and (2) my family's state of mind and mental health. Making this decision is not easy because there's always an unknown element. We've been away from Britain a relatively short period of time and on a recent visit back we all found it a breath of fresh air. One concern is my children's education although they are quite young still. Moving back to Britain means another major readjustment as my kids were never in UK schools when we moved out. We're all pretty frustrated with our experience here. We're not "Losers" and don't have bad attitudes or blind to cultural differences or any other offensive remarks we've received from some people, sadly on this forum. The reality for us of living in Vancouver was very different to what we had come to expect and we had been researching for several years before we came out, so we felt we'd done as much as we could to prepare ourselves and assure ourselves as to what we were doing. We were debating whether to hang in so we accumulate enough days to apply for citizenship, which would at least give us the option of coming back here to retire or for our kids to move out when they're older. But it's a big sacrifice on OUR wellbeing. The other frustration is with my work. Before I came out I was a highly reputed professional in my field. I have not only failed to build this in Vancouver but as we're financially starved, I'm having difficulties finding work which doesn't even come close to meeting our living costs, in areas I would have never considered before. I have applied for any opportunity I see and have not even raised a flipping interview! And why does nobody ever advertise the stupid salary or rate here. Do companies really think people join Faceless Corp Inc because thy always wanted to work for them. People need money and if I see job ads without salary ranges specified, this says that they're not paying enough, so why waste anyone's time?! At the same time I still get job postings for UK job sites and in the time I've been here, my profession (which was relatively unknown) has boomed. Even entry level positions are well paid. This is handy because I feel like taking a position which is at least a couple of levels below where I'd normally be aiming, so that I can hopefully become gainfully employed without feeling like I'm struggling to remain in the shoes I've chosen. I hear people going on about UK economy and how it's going to come off bad. But all the people I know there are doing really well and I believe Britain has always had strong politicians who come up with innovative solutions to problems. The Canadian government and opposition are just plain embarrassing. And with the whole world in economic turmoil, do I want to remain in a place that just follows every other country, but 10 years behind? Do I want to remain here in a place where I have to place a cost of my kid's lives because I cannot afford to match the medical coverage and certainties I'd have in the UK? Do I want to be in a place which has crazy levels of poverty and high taxation? A place that seems to be all take and no give. Where nobody seems to give a shite about anyone else? I'm not a moron and yet I wake up every day devastated by the decision that I made for my family, hoping that I haven't blown any chance of putting it right. We're already planning on our return and one thing that shocked us is that it's almost as difficult as our original immigration. Despite knowing many parts of UK and having lived in some of these, choosing where to live comes down to many factors like lifestyle, community, work and opportunity, schools, climate and leisure. Most of my work would be in larger cities, especially London. So living within commutable distance of the capital would be highly desirable. I often need to travel to other cities in UK and abroad, so being near an airport would help too, especially one served by easyJet. One such place, that I have never lived in but was thinking of it in the past, is Milton Keynes. I think although the place probably deserves some of the bad press associated with it, it's largely underrated and relatively affordable compared with most places. The only thing is that it's not an easy or reasonably priced commute to the Capital. There is a lot to do there. And as the new part is a North American style plan, it doesn't seem to suffer many of the problems that overloaded routes in the rest of Britain suffer. It also seems to have quite a bit of employment closer to hand with many Head Offices being based there. Ok ok I sound like I did 5 years ago, convincing myself to move to Vancouver, but the difference is that I do know the MK area quite well. Without having employment lined up in advance it would appear to be a good risk compared with plonking ourselves somewhere nearer London but 3 times the price, or out in a cheap nice area but then being distant from work. In contrast I'm finding Vancouver is like the worst of both these scenarios. Just wondering what other people's experiences are with MK or moving back to UK. I don't think my family want us to which might sound really odd to most people. But my family sucks big style. They just don't want to have to help us out if we need it, although their lack of support (emotional and financial) while we've been in Canada is in part why we're now in the crap and wasted emotionally. And it's painful because we've always been able to stand on our own feet, but my sibling has lived off them for years. It's good to see some 'good news' stories on the BE site. While I don't miss family I do miss British people and all of the many good things about the country that out-weigh (in my opinion) the bad. If times are going to get worse, I think Canada is going to become a very bad place to be based. And while Britain may not be the best place on earth (and it doesn't claim to be on its vehicle licence plates!), living in Vancouver has certainly made us wake up to how good life really is in Britain, and how much more we want to be there. I'd welcome comments or responses to some of the questions above. Thank you. |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Answer me this, if you got the same job in Vancouver as what you had in the UK,(with appropiate salary for Canada) would you be happy or would you still move back to the UK?
What has happened to you happens to 1,000's of immigrants across Canada, ie- Doctors working as cab drivers etc look at all the Polish professionals working as dishwashers in the UK right now. I would seriously consider relocating to a smaller city, depending on your field they may be crying out for your skills? I think your original question was about Milton Keynes, it's a God awful place full of roundabouts and industrial parks. If you intend to work in London, try looking at towns down the M3 corridor close to J3,4 and 5. We lived in Camberley, Surrey and I used to commute (by car) into West London in 1hr 30 mins. |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Originally Posted by Danny B
(Post 7084116)
Answer me this, if you got the same job in Vancouver as what you had in the UK,(with appropiate salary for Canada) would you be happy or would you still move back to the UK?
Originally Posted by Danny B
(Post 7084116)
What has happened to you happens to 1,000's of immigrants across Canada, ie- Doctors working as cab drivers etc look at all the Polish professionals working as dishwashers in the UK right now.
Your example is of someone moving from a poor country to a rich one, who hasn't already worked there. Mine is of someone moving from one rich country to one nearly as rich into a well paid job, but now not being able to make ends meet. |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Originally Posted by OurStory
(Post 7083905)
Hi All,
Well I think me and my family are destined to return to UK from Vancouver very soon in the new year. At this point we would have been here a few years. Homesickness is NOT so much the problem as far as I'm concerned. Being sick of our situation in Vancouver IS very much the issue. I won't paraphrase my other recent posts but you're welcome to look these up. So what has pushed me to this decision? Well a number of factors, any of which would have been justification on their own. The key two are (1) my work situation and (2) my family's state of mind and mental health. Making this decision is not easy because there's always an unknown element. We've been away from Britain a relatively short period of time and on a recent visit back we all found it a breath of fresh air. One concern is my children's education although they are quite young still. Moving back to Britain means another major readjustment as my kids were never in UK schools when we moved out. We're all pretty frustrated with our experience here. We're not "Losers" and don't have bad attitudes or blind to cultural differences or any other offensive remarks we've received from some people, sadly on this forum. The reality for us of living in Vancouver was very different to what we had come to expect and we had been researching for several years before we came out, so we felt we'd done as much as we could to prepare ourselves and assure ourselves as to what we were doing. We were debating whether to hang in so we accumulate enough days to apply for citizenship, which would at least give us the option of coming back here to retire or for our kids to move out when they're older. But it's a big sacrifice on OUR wellbeing. The other frustration is with my work. Before I came out I was a highly reputed professional in my field. I have not only failed to build this in Vancouver but as we're financially starved, I'm having difficulties finding work which doesn't even come close to meeting our living costs, in areas I would have never considered before. I have applied for any opportunity I see and have not even raised a flipping interview! And why does nobody ever advertise the stupid salary or rate here. Do companies really think people join Faceless Corp Inc because thy always wanted to work for them. People need money and if I see job ads without salary ranges specified, this says that they're not paying enough, so why waste anyone's time?! At the same time I still get job postings for UK job sites and in the time I've been here, my profession (which was relatively unknown) has boomed. Even entry level positions are well paid. This is handy because I feel like taking a position which is at least a couple of levels below where I'd normally be aiming, so that I can hopefully become gainfully employed without feeling like I'm struggling to remain in the shoes I've chosen. I hear people going on about UK economy and how it's going to come off bad. But all the people I know there are doing really well and I believe Britain has always had strong politicians who come up with innovative solutions to problems. The Canadian government and opposition are just plain embarrassing. And with the whole world in economic turmoil, do I want to remain in a place that just follows every other country, but 10 years behind? Do I want to remain here in a place where I have to place a cost of my kid's lives because I cannot afford to match the medical coverage and certainties I'd have in the UK? Do I want to be in a place which has crazy levels of poverty and high taxation? A place that seems to be all take and no give. Where nobody seems to give a shite about anyone else? I'm not a moron and yet I wake up every day devastated by the decision that I made for my family, hoping that I haven't blown any chance of putting it right. We're already planning on our return and one thing that shocked us is that it's almost as difficult as our original immigration. Despite knowing many parts of UK and having lived in some of these, choosing where to live comes down to many factors like lifestyle, community, work and opportunity, schools, climate and leisure. Most of my work would be in larger cities, especially London. So living within commutable distance of the capital would be highly desirable. I often need to travel to other cities in UK and abroad, so being near an airport would help too, especially one served by easyJet. One such place, that I have never lived in but was thinking of it in the past, is Milton Keynes. I think although the place probably deserves some of the bad press associated with it, it's largely underrated and relatively affordable compared with most places. The only thing is that it's not an easy or reasonably priced commute to the Capital. There is a lot to do there. And as the new part is a North American style plan, it doesn't seem to suffer many of the problems that overloaded routes in the rest of Britain suffer. It also seems to have quite a bit of employment closer to hand with many Head Offices being based there. Ok ok I sound like I did 5 years ago, convincing myself to move to Vancouver, but the difference is that I do know the MK area quite well. Without having employment lined up in advance it would appear to be a good risk compared with plonking ourselves somewhere nearer London but 3 times the price, or out in a cheap nice area but then being distant from work. In contrast I'm finding Vancouver is like the worst of both these scenarios. Just wondering what other people's experiences are with MK or moving back to UK. I don't think my family want us to which might sound really odd to most people. But my family sucks big style. They just don't want to have to help us out if we need it, although their lack of support (emotional and financial) while we've been in Canada is in part why we're now in the crap and wasted emotionally. And it's painful because we've always been able to stand on our own feet, but my sibling has lived off them for years. It's good to see some 'good news' stories on the BE site. While I don't miss family I do miss British people and all of the many good things about the country that out-weigh (in my opinion) the bad. If times are going to get worse, I think Canada is going to become a very bad place to be based. And while Britain may not be the best place on earth (and it doesn't claim to be on its vehicle licence plates!), living in Vancouver has certainly made us wake up to how good life really is in Britain, and how much more we want to be there. I'd welcome comments or responses to some of the questions above. Thank you. At least that gave us and especially the kids options in the future. There have been a few on BE whose parents went back before getting citizenship and now want to move back to Canada and have to apply from scratch. I also know of people who moved back and not long after found it was not for them and came back to Canada. This got really expensive. I go back to the UK on average a couple of times a month and it is not somewhere I would choose to live anymore. Once you've become an expat, there's always the 'where do I belong' syndrome. The economic situation is not good the world over, job security can be precarious at best in some industries. Unhappiness is not something one wants to live with, however putting up with some discomfort to keep ones options open may be worth the effort in the long run. Have you been to some expat groups for moral support? All the best with whatever decision you make. |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Your post made me cry.
We are in your exact position and right now I'm feeling overwhelmed with it all to the point that I'm concerned about the effect its having on my me and my families wellbeing too. I read your post out to my DH and we both relate so much. I want to say thank you to you for taking the time to share your toughts - it really helped me to see my feeling in words, in a way I probably couldn't have articulated as well myself. It's really REALLY hard right now. Some days are easier than others as I'm sure you are finding too. I send you sincere good luck in your search for income whilst you remain in Canada, my DH is doing the same thing here. He too left a career he built up in London for over 17 years. We are looking to move to Hertfordshire as we will need to commute to London. We commuted from there for many years and know it's a good location for us. Keep us posted about how you are getting on. |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Originally Posted by OurStory
(Post 7084162)
I'd stay in Vancouver if this was the case. The problems have arisen from not being able to find this in recent months. I moved over into a well paid job and swapped a couple of times into other well paid work. But was I happy? YES.
I don't think this is comparable. Poland is not a wealthy country like Britain. Perhaps a Doctor in Poland can have a far better life in Britain as a Cab Driver. Canada is more comparable to Britain. Cost of living is way higher in my experience in Vancouver compared with where I used to live in Britain. And my family's standard of living has plummeted as a result. Your example is of someone moving from a poor country to a rich one, who hasn't already worked there. Mine is of someone moving from one rich country to one nearly as rich into a well paid job, but now not being able to make ends meet. That's fine if those are your reasons, if not and you are prepared to sacrifice a few things to stay in Canada, Have you thought of downsizing to make ends meet? What do you mean by "standard of living has plummeted as a result"? Do you mean that you cannot afford to go skiing at Whistler 3 times a week anymore, or do you mean you cannot afford to put food on the table? Two very different scenarios indeed. I am intrigued, what were your reasons for leaving the UK and moving to Vancouver? |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Hi.
Couldn't read and not post so I joined the forum. Not from the Uk, but from NZ and have lived here (BC) for 6 years. I do think the cost of living here is high, though it's not as high as NZ, to be fair. I looked up your posts and saw the troubles you've been through and I can understand how stressed out you must be. The only thing that concerns, though, is that you and your family seem so stressed that I wonder if it's impacting your ability to think clearly and make decisions. have you looked into counselling at all? Don't have to answer, but I hope you have. Good luck with whatever you decide. |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Originally Posted by Danny B
(Post 7084227)
In all honesty, (you may not thank me for this advice) I think you need to look at the reasons why you moved to Canada. It sounds to me as if all you wanted was the same job as what you did in the UK but with a bigger house and more toys.
Your comments have made my situation look pathetically shallow which I take great offense at. I moved to Vancouver because I believed it would lead to a better standard of living. Well it didnt' for me or my family. In fact it's so far away from this that I want anyone considering a move out here to think long and hard. I see people almost giving away their homes to move to a place they judge only by comments on this site. Some emigrate to Vancouver having never visited the place which is crazy. This forum is extremely biased, and while I'm not saying that it should be more balanced (as it is after all pro-emigration), I think the suffering families and individuals for which the move didn't work out should be able to speak out and have people listen to them. I get very little relief by explaining my situation on this forum, in fact it's damned right painful. But I refuse to disappear into obscurity without having my thoughts expressed so others can make informed decisions. Downsizing is not really going to help because (a) properties are not really selling at all here, and (b) I have a smallish mortgage to start with. I've already brought down expenditure to a minimum to maximize our stay here. |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Originally Posted by Kiwilass
(Post 7084332)
Hi.
Couldn't read and not post so I joined the forum. Not from the Uk, but from NZ and have lived here (BC) for 6 years. I do think the cost of living here is high, though it's not as high as NZ, to be fair. I looked up your posts and saw the troubles you've been through and I can understand how stressed out you must be. The only thing that concerns, though, is that you and your family seem so stressed that I wonder if it's impacting your ability to think clearly and make decisions. have you looked into counselling at all? Don't have to answer, but I hope you have. Good luck with whatever you decide. I have set up some counseling sessions and agree that wherever we move we need to go through this. It makes sense to do this while we're still here in case things turn around rapidly for us in the new year. At the moment I'm resting on company's budgets starting January 2, but that's a complete guess that keeps me slightly nearer what normal people would consider sane. Whether or not there's substance behind this, will be revealed in a few weeks |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Originally Posted by OurStory
(Post 7084929)
Ok now come on. When I said financially starved I do NOT mean skiing twice instead of thrice a week. I mean that I have a few months before bankruptcy and I'm making myself so ill with desperately trying to get back into work that I fear I need to get myself back working before I'm too ill to work.
Your comments have made my situation look pathetically shallow which I take great offense at. I moved to Vancouver because I believed it would lead to a better standard of living. Well it didnt' for me or my family. In fact it's so far away from this that I want anyone considering a move out here to think long and hard. I see people almost giving away their homes to move to a place they judge only by comments on this site. Some emigrate to Vancouver having never visited the place which is crazy. This forum is extremely biased, and while I'm not saying that it should be more balanced (as it is after all pro-emigration), I think the suffering families and individuals for which the move didn't work out should be able to speak out and have people listen to them. I get very little relief by explaining my situation on this forum, in fact it's damned right painful. But I refuse to disappear into obscurity without having my thoughts expressed so others can make informed decisions. Hope you do get yourselves sorted. You are having a tough time. As for where to live. Have you tried the UPmystreet website? It gives facts and figures about any area you type in. I have been researching East Sussex recently as OH has a job interview in that area. It appears to be quite lovely. Stereotypical English countryside and not too far from London (1hr by train) Also has coastal areas of Brighton, Hastings, Eastbourne nearby. Good luck with whatever you decide |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
The Wirral on Merseyside is a nice place to live, a mongrel race , with some really nice area's, Heswall, Caldy ,Parkgate, with the M53 in the middle its 15 minutes into Liverpool or Chester, average house prices, low crime in comparison to other area's and good schools, and we welcome everyone here, I have spoken to very many people here that have relocated because of work, many from down south, that told me they cried when they had to come here because its "grim up north ",....... but now would never leave.
John Lennon airport have easyjet, |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Originally Posted by jackuk
(Post 7084971)
The Wirral on Merseyside is a nice place to live, a mongrel race , with some really nice area's, Heswall, Caldy ,Parkgate, with the M53 in the middle its 15 minutes into Liverpool or Chester, average house prices, low crime in comparison to other area's and good schools, and we welcome everyone here, I have spoken to very many people here that have relocated because of work, many from down south, that told me they cried when they had to come here because its "grim up north ",....... but now would never leave.
John Lennon airport have easyjet, I have just realized mongrel abroad is a derogatory term, I mean a cross/mixed bunch of people and races |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
I can't help much with your particular situation as I know nothing about living in Vancouver, having never even visited the place.
I can however relate to your comments about your family not wanting you back and not being interested in your problems or offering any support. I am amazed and deeply saddened by the fact my family acts likewise, and by the number of people on this forum who have families who also act likewise. I suppose no family is perfect but I was brought up to believe that families should always be there for each other and I always thought mine was, until I moved to Australia. You say that your family sucks big style and you don't miss them. On the surface that sounds like you don't care about them at all, but can I ask if you actually do care about them? I certainly do care very much about mine even though it seems they couldn't give a toss about me, and that's one of the things that makes it so hard. To be completely honest I often wish I didn't love my family in Britain because things would be quite a lot easier then. But I do and I refuse to pretend otherwise because as problematic as they can be, my family are largely what makes me who I am. Anyway my only advice is don't make a decision until you are sure what you want to do, and then do it wholeheartedly and don't look back! That's all easier said than done but do try, and GOOD LUCK with whatever decision you eventually make! |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Originally Posted by OurStory
(Post 7084929)
Ok now come on. When I said financially starved I do NOT mean skiing twice instead of thrice a week. I mean that I have a few months before bankruptcy and I'm making myself so ill with desperately trying to get back into work that I fear I need to get myself back working before I'm too ill to work.
Your comments have made my situation look pathetically shallow which I take great offense at. I moved to Vancouver because I believed it would lead to a better standard of living. Well it didnt' for me or my family. In fact it's so far away from this that I want anyone considering a move out here to think long and hard. I see people almost giving away their homes to move to a place they judge only by comments on this site. Some emigrate to Vancouver having never visited the place which is crazy. This forum is extremely biased, and while I'm not saying that it should be more balanced (as it is after all pro-emigration), I think the suffering families and individuals for which the move didn't work out should be able to speak out and have people listen to them. I get very little relief by explaining my situation on this forum, in fact it's damned right painful. But I refuse to disappear into obscurity without having my thoughts expressed so others can make informed decisions. Downsizing is not really going to help because (a) properties are not really selling at all here, and (b) I have a smallish mortgage to start with. I've already brought down expenditure to a minimum to maximize our stay here. To move anywhere without visiting it is crazy but many people do and still make a success of it and I know people that have done it as well. This forum is not overly biased in favor of pro emigration at all and you`ll find on most forums there are pro and anti groups as well. Here in MBTTUK its mostly anti emigration because most have done it and didn`t like it, so by running down the country that you want to leave on here nobody is overly going to criticize you too much, so there is no reason not to express your views. Personally I know Vancouver and to be fair was all I expected to be and that was very impressive:thumbup: But wouldn`t live there for the excessive house property prices, they have some of the highest in North America:eek: The reason I guess is that it hasn`t got room to expand too much and it escapes the harshness of the Canadian winter but this comes at a cost. Personally I`d sooner freeze my nuts off in Ontario:eek: and be financially comfortable than to struggle in Vancouver. |
Re: Planning on moving back but to where?!
Originally Posted by OurStory
(Post 7084929)
Ok now come on. When I said financially starved I do NOT mean skiing twice instead of thrice a week. I mean that I have a few months before bankruptcy and I'm making myself so ill with desperately trying to get back into work that I fear I need to get myself back working before I'm too ill to work.
Your comments have made my situation look pathetically shallow which I take great offense at. I moved to Vancouver because I believed it would lead to a better standard of living. Well it didnt' for me or my family. In fact it's so far away from this that I want anyone considering a move out here to think long and hard. I see people almost giving away their homes to move to a place they judge only by comments on this site. Some emigrate to Vancouver having never visited the place which is crazy. This forum is extremely biased, and while I'm not saying that it should be more balanced (as it is after all pro-emigration), I think the suffering families and individuals for which the move didn't work out should be able to speak out and have people listen to them. I get very little relief by explaining my situation on this forum, in fact it's damned right painful. But I refuse to disappear into obscurity without having my thoughts expressed so others can make informed decisions. Downsizing is not really going to help because (a) properties are not really selling at all here, and (b) I have a smallish mortgage to start with. I've already brought down expenditure to a minimum to maximize our stay here. By downsizing I meant selling your current place to free up some cash and then buy (or rent) a smaller place. Houses are selling, albeit slowly and for 30% less than this time last year, but that's the world over not just here. My Wife works in Canadian Tire earning $8.50hr, she is friends with people who are a Husband & Wife team ie- both working at Canadian Tire earning minimum wage. They have 2 kids, rent a place to live, have one car and the other takes the bus. I don't mean to sounds patronising, but living on a low wage can be done, not everyone in Vancouver earns $70k+. The question is, would you work in a shop earning minimum wage until you found a suitable job? Some people have this thing about being a qualified professional and doing a job which to them is beneath them, the best thing to do is get out there and network. You still haven't said what it is you do, who knows, someones Husband / Wife working at a shop could be looking for someone in your profession right now. Over here it's all about who you know, not what you know. I'm sorry if I upset you, it wasn't my intent, believe me I do know exactly how you feel. Your job in Vancouver will come...eventually. You'll look back on these times and remind yourself how strong you were. I would hate to see you pack everything in, move back to the UK and be stuck in the same situation as you are in now. I wouldn't even contemplate moving back there (UK) until early 2010. Whatever you decide, good luck :) |
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