Thedavel

Of course I know there are very few if any fjords in Doncaster but lately (last few years) I have been considering a move back to the UK from Canada.
I'll give you all a bit of background as to my though process and some of the roadblocks I'm facing.
I moved to Canada in the early 80's to get to know my military Dad whom I missed a lot during my childhood. It was a great opportunity at the time for a 16 year old lad from a coal mining town with no coal mines, so I took it.
I've made a great life for myself out here, spent 22 years in the car business in the Service Mgmt. side of things, got married to a great Canadian girl, had 2 wonderful children (now 13 & 15) life was pretty great.
In 2006 things changed ... In January, I was separated from my partner of 21 years, in September my father died and in November I was involved in a bad car accident (still haven't recovered) then to boot in December that year, I lost my job and my grandmother died ... Shitty year January 2007 brought the divorce, which looking back wasn't probably one of the bad things. My ex and I have a wonderful relationship and we share custody of the kids with a ton of give and take.
I visited my Mom in Doncaster in 2007 as I needed some family time and that was the last time I've been around family, other than my litluns.
Now I find myself having just spent another Christmas season alone and I'm really, really needing that family connection again. My whole family other than my kids are in Donny, mum, sister, niece, nephew, cousins, aunts, uncles everyone, so you can see why I might want to go "home" I'd give anything to be able to walk to the shops and stop in at any of my cousins places for a cuppa, or take my mum out for lunch etc ...
I've lived abroad now much longer than I ever lived in the UK so I'm not expecting it to be the same as when I left but to be honest, I'd be moving back for the people much more than the country.
The biggest thing stopping me of course are my kids. I love them dearly and I know I would miss them terribly. Right now it feels like I'm only a taxi driver and bank machine for them but I'm sure most of you with teens know that feeling and I think were I to leave it may be too hard on them and the last thing I want for them is the torn feelings I'm having right now.
Anyway, I know none of you can make up my mind for me and I also know that the only way to find out something like this is to do it.
I am a citizen here in Canada now, so I could always come back I guess. I just need to figure out where to put my roots, buy a house and live out my life etc.
Maybe I should've posted this on a shrinks forum

jemima55

Thought you were in Norway!
My advice would be- plan to return in a time maybe a few years hence when your children are starting to get more independent, say later teens-early twenties because although you feel like a bank machine and taxi driver (we all are) they`d really miss you if you were to go now and that relationship will be so important in your future.

king kong

i too had a major split after 25 years with my partner but my children were older and more independant but nevertheless the same sort of feelings came about , a sense of isolation , looking for belonging ,being aware that the world seems made for two etc . i decided to move back to the uk after 20 years away in australia , it certainly hasnt been easy and i dont regret the move although i miss my lads but i will say some of the feelings i have mentioned are still there due to fact its hard in many respects second time around to find a compatible partner to share lifes wonders with .im sure time will tell .
One thing is for sure if you dont do it you will always wonder , if you do do it dont expect moving to solve all the issues ,its not as easy as that .
i wish you good luck for the future and one things for sure you will rediscover your self ,its a good journey and makes you tough ........................

Thedavel

Thanks for the replies and your input. I'm not expecting the move to solve all my problems, Im just feeling the need for some family time. The biggest issue as stated is my children and tbh I just don't think I can be away from them for very long.
What I may end up doing is taking a few extended visits (3-5 months) each year for the next 5 years or so until the kids are in their 20's and then I'll know which side of the world I want to live in.