banjo

Oh how fustrating for you.....my mum also didn't sort out our citizenship (although she did do her own! ) when we were growing up. And then during teens I wasn't bothered and during 20's I was too busy - and now I just keep thinking why oh why didn't I just get it done when it would have been so easy.

Where abouts were you in Oz? Where are you looking to go back to? And what visa route are you using?

Pants

Hello hun

Noooooooooo you know me just plain nosey. TBH I am interested to hear people's experiences and views on their return and the reasons to turn around and go back again. Matey I have been home near on 2 yrs now and with bubs #2 near on here I am staying put........for now..!!

Banjo..thanks for the reply, how old are your boys? What part of Oz will you head back too?I wish you lots of luck and I am sure your boys will be happy wherever you go just so long as mum and dad are happy too..!!!

HiddenPaw

Just where does the time go, P! When we came back we said we had plenty of time left on our visas to make our minds up about returning....it's now down to 9 months , still no decision, and I'm terrified of how I'll feel on that final day.

blowers

Thanks!

I will go back to Sydney. At the end of the day i have abuot 5 friends in Oz and they are all in Sydney. Sure they are not my closest friends, who are here, but i figure its a big help just to have somebody.

Now i am back, i do realise my family and close friends are here, but to be honest, my lifestyle in London means i don't see much of them anyway, spend my life on the tube or at work and too knackered to do anything else. Just seemed to have more time in Oz, even with a busy job.

I am just going back this time knowing that it will be hard, there is a lot i don't like about Oz, but i need to give it a couple of years and at least get my citizenship, then i can make a more informed choice. I do miss the healthier lifestyle i had there, the coast and outdoors etc.

And while i was there, i read countless advice on this forum about giving it longer and ignored it all - just goes to show, you need to do this sort of thing for yourself, even if its a bit traumatic!

My mum will go nuts, but i wasn't joking when i said i'd tell her from Oz. I have been trying to 'prepare the ground' and said this to her jokingly the other day and she laughed..so i'm hoping thats a good sign?

Mums - love em, hate em, but can't be without em!

ladyofthelake

Just being Devil's Advocate here, but who's to say you simply haven't given the UK long enough either?? There's the reverse culture shock when returning and it isn't easy to just slip back into the old ways. You've only been back 4 months tops.

HiddenPaw

Good luck with your mum!

My mum says things like she'd "die" if her grandchildren were ever taken to Oz. I never had a great relationship with her when I was growing up, in fact she made me feel pretty sh1t about myself a lot of the time when I was a child - perhaps unintentionally - but her words have shaped the adult who I have become, and I often resent her for my insecurities as I know they relate directly to her comments. In recent years she has been overly generous and I wonder if she is trying to allay any guilt she might feel. Given the history, I can't understand why she is the one person who I am scared of telling that we may go back. Maybe I'm still trying to please her, after all these years.....

blowers

Simple answer.I am British born, i've got my whole life to live here if i want. My Oz visa runs out in 8 months time and the Uk will always be here. I' ve also previously done , ooh lets see 34.5 years in the UK, so i'm pretty confident i know what i will be missing.

Now, don't go unsettling me with comments like that!


Suz

banjo

but, but, but...... I have also been thinking that as much as we want to go back, if we didn't do it soon it would be another move all over and would probably be as stressful as moving back here, and then all the re-resettling. Maybe we shouldn't be making any decsions until we've given it 2 yrs here?!


We'd go back to the same small town so that may help as people tend to stick around there until their spot comes free in the residential care. Also, I think for the most part you just know in your heart and mind what feels right and what doesn't.

Jaycee1

Hi Banjo,
I want to do the 47SV resident return/close ties visa because I lived in Aus from aged 2 until 13 and need to have 9 out of the first 18 in Aus. There aren't many of us, I think it is also called a subclass 151 Could be wrong though. Dad is still there, have lots of correspondence with friends and family although my partner of 14 years was naughty some 14 years ago just before we met and went to young offenders twice He has not been in trouble since and we have 2 children and are a respectable family now
Enough of my life story. What visa are you going for?
J x

ladyofthelake

Fair enough on the visa issue, I can understand that. As you say, at least you know what you will be missing, that's something I learnt after living abroad for 1 year, then returning before leaving for the US. We all have times when we are absolutely and completely homesick, desperate to go back. The strength is knowing not to give in to it and to ride it out till the better days arrive.

LIBBY

Thankyou Grumpy. I have PMed you

LibbyX

Jaycee1

Banjo, have sent you a pm.
J x

blowers

Ooh i really feel for you on that one. I have a similar relationship with my mum. I think sometimes daughters and mums, don't always have the wonderful best friends relationship you're supposed to have. My relationship with her is full of insecurities and guilt and complex emotions.

In some ways you would think that makes it easier to put distance between you, but i know its not. Its just a lot of guilt. My mum spent her whole life being utterly walked all over by her parents and swore she would never treat her kids that way, but i think most mums are just offended, almost that their children would want to move so far away
No easy answers, but i sympathise with you i really do -
good luck x

theguitardoctor

Wow,

It's not just me then !!! This thread really struck a chord....

I thought I was odd wanting to go back to NZ. I only spent a few months there from 03 to early 04...I loved the place...my wife (now ex-wife because of the stress of the whole emigration), hated being away from her elderly father and sisters. It cost a fortune to go over, ship everything (inc cat) and then turn it all around again (as the container came into port would you believe!!), that I swore I'd never do it again. Lost £20,000 or so and fell off th property ladder, never been able to get back on it with a box in a dodgy area costing £100K !!

Here I am 2 1/2 years later with all the pre emigration feelings I had before...sick of the UK people's lack of repsect for each other (happy slapping culture) and the country (litter and mess everywhere, watch kids throw crap on the floor without blinking)...to name but a couple. I crave the space of NZ and the clean air. Luckily my new lady (of 2 years) feels the same and is a lot more level headed than the last (who threw in a $46K job after 1 day, and effectively killed our emigration plan, even though she pushed us out there sooner than I wanted to go). I'm not pushing NZ on her by the way...and we'd visit before moving this time, but she's keen to improve our quality of life.....whether she could cope away from family though (mine all live overseas anyway), is yet to be tested, and probably couldn't be until we were there. One thing...if we ever get there, I'm shipping nothing til we've settled !!

Good luck to all ping pong's....Rich

blowers

Good luck Rich ! we are all probably nuts, but if you never take chances where will you be eh.

Suz