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People who've returned hom

People who've returned hom

Old Oct 18th 2007, 11:30 am
  #16  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Originally Posted by on a mission
fine, good for you.
Please stop trying to wind people up. If you are not returning to the UK or can't offer anything contructive to the UK forum please do not post in here.
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Old Oct 18th 2007, 12:07 pm
  #17  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Hubs and I met in Chicago and got married in '96 (he was on a job transfer).

We moved to England ten days after we were married and lived in south Warwickshire for eight years. Both of our kids were born in England.

We moved back to suburban Chicago in September '04. We've been back for three years.

My husband likes the US, but like others have said, we both see the pros and cons of both places.

Hubs' career is now such that there's a possiblity that we could be in a position to return to England in a few year's time.

We have time to think about it - it may not happen at all. But we're weighing everything such as education for the boys, his aging mum who was widowed this year, finances, etc.

If we decide that it would be a good move and the timing is right, I welcome it.
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Old Oct 19th 2007, 4:56 am
  #18  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Originally Posted by ShozInOz
-[SNIP]-

The lesson is that you can't have everything though. There is no perfect life anywhere. You just exchange one type of suffering for another. Here we often have dull/cold/wet weather, clogged up roads, aggression, yobbishness, debt, stress, no friends nearby. In Sydney we often have heat, humidity, flies, boredom, isolation, no family at all. It may sound negative, but it somehow seems better to accept that nowhere is ideal, and sometimes it depends which types of suffering you find most tolerable!
I think this is the thing that I have realised and have been saying to everyone. Each place, in my case the US and the UK, has advantages and disadvantages. The US for me on a day to day basis is great. Nice open roads, doesn't rain, jobs reasonably stable with good money, etc BUT we have no family here. We have friends and some really good ones, but both my wife and I are really family people and we dont have that here.

A work colleague of mine, got the dreaded call that his father passed away and he rushed home for that. That really made me think.

For me it's more a clear thing. Trade in the easy day to day life for the rushing around and stress on the job front, but then again the trade would also include the trade of have no family here in the US to having all my family around in the UK.

Really hard thing is, if I could bring my family over to the US I would never leave. However, that's not going to happen.
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Old Oct 19th 2007, 5:24 am
  #19  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Originally Posted by ShozInOz
The lesson is that you can't have everything though. There is no perfect life anywhere. You just exchange one type of suffering for another. Here we often have dull/cold/wet weather, clogged up roads, aggression, yobbishness, debt, stress, no friends nearby. In Sydney we often have heat, humidity, flies, boredom, isolation, no family at all. It may sound negative, but it somehow seems better to accept that nowhere is ideal, and sometimes it depends which types of suffering you find most tolerable!


Thats very true
I wish I could know which is more tolerable. At the moment, for me its the UK, People make me very happy - but I worry re the next generation, whats best for my kids? Again. who knows? You have to make the best of whatever your choice is, and I expect its those who have had more life experience that find it the hardest.
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Old Oct 19th 2007, 5:26 am
  #20  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Originally Posted by Dave_Was
Really hard thing is, if I could bring my family over to the US I would never leave. However, that's not going to happen.
I know.

What a horrible trade off for you.
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Old Oct 19th 2007, 5:28 am
  #21  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

I'm a returnee, well I was...I'm in the US again. BUT, I would go home in an instant, it was the best decision I ever made. I had 20 months of peace and normality which have been rudely interupted by a nagging credit card bill that won't go away on a UK nurses salary so I came back here to earn enough to clear it and save enough cash to put down a deposit on a house.

I've been back in the US 3 weeks and I KNOW I will go home again. When I went home there was no reverse culture shock, no hard adjustment..nothing. I just slotted back into society and was happy. It won't be that easy for everyone, but it really worked for me, plus I now realise that it's the US that's insane, I though I was going insane last time I lived here. It's just good to be reminded of normality!

I think many returnees find that life becomes easy again when they go home and that perhaps they don't *need* the support of a site like this and it just slips from their mind. That's what happened to me anyway.

Cheers

Paul
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Old Oct 19th 2007, 6:39 am
  #22  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Originally Posted by chance to be
[/B]

Thats very true
I wish I could know which is more tolerable. At the moment, for me its the UK, People make me very happy - but I worry re the next generation, whats best for my kids? Again. who knows? You have to make the best of whatever your choice is, and I expect its those who have had more life experience that find it the hardest.

Regarding what's best for the kids. Really you can only see up to the point that they can start making there own decisions and then it's up to them.

In my case, I firmly believe the benefit of having my family around them far outwieghs the benefit of being in the US. One thing that I will tell them is that if they do want to have the opportunity to travel through work or even move to another country, education is a huge advantage.

BTW my wife and I don't have any kids yet, but would like to in the next year or two.
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Old Oct 19th 2007, 6:53 am
  #23  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Originally Posted by Dave_Was
In my case, I firmly believe the benefit of having my family around them far outwieghs the benefit of being in the US.
Yeah, good point. my parents adore my kids and are so happy to have them back. And they're getting on.....The thought of Getting "the call" in Oz terrified me - Im a real one for guilt and dont know if I'd of coped with something happening to them whilst I was so far away....
I hope you get to see your family soon
(and i reckon you'll be a great dad!)
C
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Old Oct 21st 2007, 1:50 am
  #24  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Originally Posted by Danny B
It's bad enough that returnees have to face the people who were at their leaving do and explain why they came home after only 1yr. I really cannot see that they would then come back to this forum and admit that they made a mistake and are regretting their return to the UK.

You never though, someone may prove me wrong..but for the most I think they are so relieved to be back with friends and family, you could throw anything at them in the UK and they wouldn't batter an eyelid.
I think we may be one of those.you are talking about.We came back from Adelaide and were unsure straightaway on our return to the UK whether we had done the right thing. We took some time to sort out the reasons for our return and while i will not start to have a go at ether UK or Aus. i think we needed the time back here to sort out what was important to us and our family and we are now ready to return to Aus. having decided what is right for us.There are so many factors to sort out and as you say so many people to face that the whole experience is very depressing and we tended to avoid talking about it or even as you mention posting on sites because of the comments you tend to get.Hopefully we will be able to return and get on with our lives again but as I said i'm not going to call either country, some things are just done differently and only yourselves can decide what is important to you as a family. babs.
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Old Oct 26th 2007, 6:24 am
  #25  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Been home nearly a year and no regrets. I can look back on my time in Perth now as good, glad I lived there for 5 years. I just knew when I was there that I didn't want to be there forever so we moved back before we got too old. I think the key is choosing a really nice place to live when you come back. We are so happy in this little town, woodbridge where we are but today i got the bus into Ipswich and it was very grim. There were some very dubious characters on the bus but I also remember very dubious characters on the night train from Freo and the trams in San Diego so same world over. It is so great for the kids where we are and they have a great relationship with extended family. Also there is great beaches, countryside, forests, parks etc around here. Not really missing too much about Perth. Good luck to everyone coming back, good things and bad in both places.
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Old Oct 26th 2007, 8:42 am
  #26  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Originally Posted by immunise
I'm a returnee, well I was...I'm in the US again. BUT, I would go home in an instant, it was the best decision I ever made. I had 20 months of peace and normality which have been rudely interupted by a nagging credit card bill that won't go away on a UK nurses salary so I came back here to earn enough to clear it and save enough cash to put down a deposit on a house.

I've been back in the US 3 weeks and I KNOW I will go home again. When I went home there was no reverse culture shock, no hard adjustment..nothing. I just slotted back into society and was happy. It won't be that easy for everyone, but it really worked for me, plus I now realise that it's the US that's insane, I though I was going insane last time I lived here. It's just good to be reminded of normality!

I think many returnees find that life becomes easy again when they go home and that perhaps they don't *need* the support of a site like this and it just slips from their mind. That's what happened to me anyway.

Cheers

Paul
Good point Paul. When I am in the UK, I don't need to come on here. I have family and people around me who care about me. I realise that I am not crazy for being who I am (it's the US that is crazy!).
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Old Oct 26th 2007, 5:13 pm
  #27  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Originally Posted by simongb
I realise that I am not crazy for being who I am (it's the US that is crazy!).
I second that!
This forum is like a replacement family for us lost and lonely souls (oooh that sounds a bit dramatic doesn't it - but you know what I mean). I don't think I even knew what a Forum was when I was in the UK... Well, until we got the opportunity to immigrate... I think I've been glued to the keyboard ever since. First trying to get out here and now trying to get back. Please god don't let me evolve into a ping ponger. It's bad enough being a US Gypsie without taking it to a global level.
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Old Oct 26th 2007, 6:07 pm
  #28  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Originally Posted by JRB
Been home nearly a year and no regrets. I can look back on my time in Perth now as good, glad I lived there for 5 years. I just knew when I was there that I didn't want to be there forever so we moved back before we got too old. I think the key is choosing a really nice place to live when you come back. We are so happy in this little town, woodbridge where we are but today i got the bus into Ipswich and it was very grim. There were some very dubious characters on the bus but I also remember very dubious characters on the night train from Freo and the trams in San Diego so same world over. It is so great for the kids where we are and they have a great relationship with extended family. Also there is great beaches, countryside, forests, parks etc around here. Not really missing too much about Perth. Good luck to everyone coming back, good things and bad in both places.
I thought about you just last week as I have joined a book club. Really good to hear you have settled back in with no problems.
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Old Oct 27th 2007, 10:25 pm
  #29  
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Default Re: People who've returned hom

Spent 4 years in Canada, been back in the UK for over 2 years now - no regrets.

I agree with a lot of the previous posts, the more you travel you realise that there is no perfect country out there and they all have negatives things about them that bother us all differently.

I am very positive now that I am back and see the positive things in the UK that I did not reconise until I left.

There are certain things about Canada that I truly miss but not enough to out weigh what I can get from here.

We have recently purchased a property in Canada to rent out so not entirely turning our backs on the place we choose to live. We hopefully intend to spend a lot of time there in the future but the UK is home.
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