People In A Time Warp

Old Sep 16th 2007, 9:35 pm
  #1  
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Default People In A Time Warp

I am so loving being back home and feel like i never want to leave, but there have been a couple of sad realisations that i hadn't bargained for.

I am a very different woman to the one that left these shores several years ago. I have seen and done things that many people i grew up with or socialised with could only dream about. I am very very grateful for that, but it has meant that some people who were in my life i no longer have a common bond or link with. I am struggling with that. There is nothing wrong with these people and nothing wrong with me. I just feel as if mentally i have moved onto a different plateau and they are stuck in a time warp. They are happy enough i guess, but i dont think i "fit" in their world anymore.

Anyone else found this?
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Old Sep 16th 2007, 10:05 pm
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Yep. Found it when I returned to the UK from the states. It was an issue from my end, not their's and I found that it passed in time.
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Old Sep 16th 2007, 10:09 pm
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
I am so loving being back home and feel like i never want to leave, but there have been a couple of sad realisations that i hadn't bargained for.

I am a very different woman to the one that left these shores several years ago. I have seen and done things that many people i grew up with or socialised with could only dream about. I am very very grateful for that, but it has meant that some people who were in my life i no longer have a common bond or link with. I am struggling with that. There is nothing wrong with these people and nothing wrong with me. I just feel as if mentally i have moved onto a different plateau and they are stuck in a time warp. They are happy enough i guess, but i dont think i "fit" in their world anymore.

Anyone else found this?
So do you feel it has been a mistake to come back to the Uk ?
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Old Sep 16th 2007, 10:10 pm
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Originally Posted by Hutch
Yep. Found it when I returned to the UK from the states. It was an issue from my end, not their's and I found that it passed in time.
Oh absolutely. I totally accept it is me that has changed and not them. I still love most of them to bits, it just makes picking up the threads very difficult.
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Old Sep 16th 2007, 10:11 pm
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
I am so loving being back home and feel like i never want to leave, but there have been a couple of sad realisations that i hadn't bargained for.

I am a very different woman to the one that left these shores several years ago. I have seen and done things that many people i grew up with or socialised with could only dream about. I am very very grateful for that, but it has meant that some people who were in my life i no longer have a common bond or link with. I am struggling with that. There is nothing wrong with these people and nothing wrong with me. I just feel as if mentally i have moved onto a different plateau and they are stuck in a time warp. They are happy enough i guess, but i dont think i "fit" in their world anymore.

Anyone else found this?
Not sure what you mean!
Why don't you fit in with them anymore? I hope when i go back i will be the same person as i was when i left (apart from having OZ experience).
Do you find them boring now??/
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Old Sep 16th 2007, 10:12 pm
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Originally Posted by Issie
So do you feel it has been a mistake to come back to the Uk ?
No way!! I am loving it. I'm just making comments on some of the things that myself, and others when they return, might encounter. I guess its just the process of life. Some move with you some dont.
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Old Sep 16th 2007, 10:24 pm
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Originally Posted by Nu-Shooz
Not sure what you mean!
Why don't you fit in with them anymore? I hope when i go back i will be the same person as i was when i left (apart from having OZ experience).
Do you find them boring now??/
Morning NS

I have been gone a long time. More than 10yrs since i have seen some of them. For the most part, they are the same people that i left all those years ago, but as i said above, I'm not!
I am not pointing this out as meaning they are not good enough for me anymore as thats just not the case and i am not the sort of person who thinks that way. I just find it hard to find common ground with some of them, although not all of them i may add!
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Old Sep 16th 2007, 10:32 pm
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
Morning NS

I have been gone a long time. More than 10yrs since i have seen some of them. For the most part, they are the same people that i left all those years ago, but as i said above, I'm not!
I am not pointing this out as meaning they are not good enough for me anymore as thats just not the case and i am not the sort of person who thinks that way. I just find it hard to find common ground with some of them, although not all of them i may add!
I think i know what you mean. They are stuck in a rutt by the sounds of it, or "don't like change'...at least you have done something in you life and had the experience of it all. Thats how i see it, even though i want to come home. Maybe things will settle over time and you will eventually get back into the swing of things with them. Thats if you want that! The world is your Oyster
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Old Sep 17th 2007, 12:05 am
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
I am so loving being back home and feel like i never want to leave, but there have been a couple of sad realisations that i hadn't bargained for.

I am a very different woman to the one that left these shores several years ago. I have seen and done things that many people i grew up with or socialised with could only dream about. I am very very grateful for that, but it has meant that some people who were in my life i no longer have a common bond or link with. I am struggling with that. There is nothing wrong with these people and nothing wrong with me. I just feel as if mentally i have moved onto a different plateau and they are stuck in a time warp. They are happy enough i guess, but i dont think i "fit" in their world anymore.

Anyone else found this?
4 years away in Canada and I walked back into my local and the same faces in the same chairs. Comforting in a way but frustrating in another.
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Old Sep 17th 2007, 1:56 am
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

If I moved back to the UK...I don't think I would look to have my old life back again...I know its still there...I could walk into my friends shop tomorrow and put on the kettle and start serving people like I never left...but I know its not what I would want from a move back...I would want my life in the UK to be different ...but with friends nearer...I can't see myself being happy in my old life ...not for long anyway...I really miss my friend and the shop but I think that part of my life like my being a biker chick is over....
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Old Sep 17th 2007, 2:53 am
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Reminds me in a roundabout kind of way about that scene in "Good Will Hunting" - where Matt Damon's character's best mate hopes that one day he will call at his door, and Matt will be gone. Tells him not to waste the rest of his life in one place and to go off and 'be' someone.

Perhaps you are Will - returning to your old home - and finding that, in fact, nothing has changed at all !! I'm sure you will slowly feel more at home with these people - but just accept that some friendships may have run their course. Some will be best buddies for ever, and some will not. Just the way of the world. Best wishes
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Old Sep 17th 2007, 3:22 am
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

When comparing different experiences and cultures I used to find it difficult to deal with, until I came to the realisation that Different doesn't necessarily mean Better or Worse, it just means Different

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Old Sep 17th 2007, 3:30 am
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

I know what you mean but the thing is though, we often think that because we have lived away, these people haven't done anything different in their lives in that time. Whilst some haven't, others have. It's just that they live in the same place.

Just because they still live in the same area and drink in the same local though doesn't always mean that they haven't experienced wonderful and amazing things in their lives. It's just that they have done it without the upheaval of emigrating. A pal of ours would never move from the village where he was born, yet has the most amazing holidays all over the world and in the UK several times a year. He's into loads of different things and is always trying out new adventures.

It doesn't always follow that just because you haven't emigrated you don't lead an interesting life, and sometimes it just takes a bit of time talking to people to get on that same wavelength and fine common interests.
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Old Sep 17th 2007, 3:31 am
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum
No way!! I am loving it. I'm just making comments on some of the things that myself, and others when they return, might encounter. I guess its just the process of life. Some move with you some dont.
i have found that for years as I've travelled extensively and most of my uk pals haven't but then i am prepared to fit into their little world and for me it works ok.
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Old Sep 17th 2007, 3:49 am
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Default Re: People In A Time Warp

Originally Posted by krizzy
If I moved back to the UK...I don't think I would look to have my old life back again...I know its still there...I could walk into my friends shop tomorrow and put on the kettle and start serving people like I never left...but I know its not what I would want from a move back...I would want my life in the UK to be different ...but with friends nearer...I can't see myself being happy in my old life ...not for long anyway...I really miss my friend and the shop but I think that part of my life like my being a biker chick is over....

It's taken me a while to accept this too. I've been away too long and frankly moved around a fair bit even when I lived back home, so the familiar roots are not there. I have no family in the UK anymore either. I am going back to an area that I do not know, but that seems to offer everything I miss - the sea, old codgers, book stores, innumerable work opportunities and decent schools for the kids. If I am making a mistake, I am so screwed.
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