Originally Posted by quoll

First of all, I cant stand the heat, the flies and the mozzies. Days like today have me nearly in tears (no aircon, the Aussie DH is a rabid greenie who has been outside all day with the temp hitting 59C in the sun - chopping wood! He's nuts!). The older I get the harder it gets to handle and I will never be used to having flies buzz around my head.

I digress. What takes me home is that sense of belonging, walking down the street and knowing that this is where I absolutely belong. It happens as soon as we fly over the Kent coast usually. Add to that the history which is relevant to me - the monuments to great achievements of thousands of years. Sorry, but I dont get revved up by a few grinding stones and a mythology based on natural features or even spit hand paintings.

I love the GREEEEEEEN, in spring/summer it is blinding in its intensity and the ground gives beneath your feet and it is real grass not some sort of couch/weed masquerading as being vaguely green as it struggles to penetrate the concrete ground. I love the delicate wildflowers and the varying colours of the hedgerows which change with the seasons. I love the delicate birds with some stunning colours who tweet at you, not the big brash LOUD birds that frequent these airwaves. If I could commit Koelicide or Cockatooicide with impugnity I would.

I miss the sense of community and the chattiness - people who actually have a chat at the check out counter, a bit of a laugh without people looking at you as if you are half barmy. The support my retired parents get is far better than I can expect being retired here and my friends' retirement experiences are making me incredibly jealous.

I hate the insularity here - getting to anywhere different takes several hours flight and is hugely expensive. It takes forever to drive from one city to another - the cities are just like any other city in the world, crowded, dirty, overwhelming but with a few touristy bling sites thrown in for good measure. The road between Melbourne and Sydney should be a mandatory trip for any new migrant - it epitomises the bland nothingness of the rest of the country. You can drive for hours and never have a clue about where you actually are because it all looks the same (thank goodness for roadside signs).

Most of all I hate the thought that this is "it" for the rest of my life. While I didnt feel trapped because I thought there was going to be an open door to me heading back home to live I could cope, I enjoyed lots of things but after living here almost half my life now I have done everything I have wanted to do - I am bored and now beginning to hate it - yes, actually hate it here. It takes something very special to make me feel that I am having a good time here. I am a different person here - at home I laugh, here I rarely do.

The DH knows how I feel but he is as stubborn as a mule - we do compromise to a degree, he wants to go and live in the bush and be self sufficient (yeah, right, a flush loo is a major non negotiable!) so he lives in the city because I wont go and live in the bush with him and I live in Aus because he wont come to UK with me. I survive by going home every year sometimes twice a year usually for 4 - 8 weeks all depending on what is happening. His part of the bargain is to earn enough for me to support my habit! I have one son and granddaughter here and another son in UK along with my parents so I definitely have a "people pull" in both directions but if I had the chance to go and live in UK I would be off without a moment's hesitation even though that would mean leaving the granddaughter behind.

Sorry I have taken this off topic for which I apologize.

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum

You know what Q? I think you sell yourself too short in this push pull with OH. I reckon if you called his bluff and flew back home he'd eventually follow. I think he sayd he wont because he knows you wont leave him there.

Originally Posted by sans

Oye!! You could at least stick your tongue out at me

Originally Posted by kporte

there will be cases of cognitive dissonance.
also cases of people hating it here.
there are many who are truly happy here, of which I am one.
there are people who thought they were unhappy here, moved back, only to find that they actually do prefer Australia. Some of these move back, only to find that actually they do prefer the uk, and so on and so on.
I have many many Aussies who say Aus is great but have never met one who thinks the uk is crap.
For the record, I have never knocked the uk, a fantastic country, so another stereotype gone there. you do not have to hate one to live in the other

Originally Posted by cricket1

People will often say things believing them to be the truth because it validates what they've chosen. It's called living in a fools paradise. But regardless whether genuinely love or pretend to love their life, does it really matter to anyone else? It's their journey and their experience after all.

To me when someone says 'we absolutely love living here', I neither doubt what they say or believe it, because it's their life so it's not relevant to me.
But.....if someone were to try and convince me that i should stay here because life is so good for them, that there must be something wrong if it isn't good for me too, then I would tell then to bugger off and go and preach to someone else.

Originally Posted by quoll

First of all, I cant stand the heat, the flies and the mozzies. Days like today have me nearly in tears (no aircon, the Aussie DH is a rabid greenie who has been outside all day with the temp hitting 59C in the sun - chopping wood! He's nuts!). The older I get the harder it gets to handle and I will never be used to having flies buzz around my head.

I digress. What takes me home is that sense of belonging, walking down the street and knowing that this is where I absolutely belong. It happens as soon as we fly over the Kent coast usually. Add to that the history which is relevant to me - the monuments to great achievements of thousands of years. Sorry, but I dont get revved up by a few grinding stones and a mythology based on natural features or even spit hand paintings.

I love the GREEEEEEEN, in spring/summer it is blinding in its intensity and the ground gives beneath your feet and it is real grass not some sort of couch/weed masquerading as being vaguely green as it struggles to penetrate the concrete ground. I love the delicate wildflowers and the varying colours of the hedgerows which change with the seasons. I love the delicate birds with some stunning colours who tweet at you, not the big brash LOUD birds that frequent these airwaves. If I could commit Koelicide or Cockatooicide with impugnity I would.

I miss the sense of community and the chattiness - people who actually have a chat at the check out counter, a bit of a laugh without people looking at you as if you are half barmy. The support my retired parents get is far better than I can expect being retired here and my friends' retirement experiences are making me incredibly jealous.

I hate the insularity here - getting to anywhere different takes several hours flight and is hugely expensive. It takes forever to drive from one city to another - the cities are just like any other city in the world, crowded, dirty, overwhelming but with a few touristy bling sites thrown in for good measure. The road between Melbourne and Sydney should be a mandatory trip for any new migrant - it epitomises the bland nothingness of the rest of the country. You can drive for hours and never have a clue about where you actually are because it all looks the same (thank goodness for roadside signs).

Most of all I hate the thought that this is "it" for the rest of my life. While I didnt feel trapped because I thought there was going to be an open door to me heading back home to live I could cope, I enjoyed lots of things but after living here almost half my life now I have done everything I have wanted to do - I am bored and now beginning to hate it - yes, actually hate it here. It takes something very special to make me feel that I am having a good time here. I am a different person here - at home I laugh, here I rarely do.

The DH knows how I feel but he is as stubborn as a mule - we do compromise to a degree, he wants to go and live in the bush and be self sufficient (yeah, right, a flush loo is a major non negotiable!) so he lives in the city because I wont go and live in the bush with him and I live in Aus because he wont come to UK with me. I survive by going home every year sometimes twice a year usually for 4 - 8 weeks all depending on what is happening. His part of the bargain is to earn enough for me to support my habit! I have one son and granddaughter here and another son in UK along with my parents so I definitely have a "people pull" in both directions but if I had the chance to go and live in UK I would be off without a moment's hesitation even though that would mean leaving the granddaughter behind.

Sorry I have taken this off topic for which I apologize.

Originally Posted by livinginreality

SeanandMaria:Yes thats true.I've lived in Adelaide a long time (in the UK now)and people here find it hard to believe when I give them the true facts instead of some glossed over Home & Away version?Don't get me wrong,I'm don't portray a negative version of Oz,just a realistic one.Its easy I guess for people who have lived in the UK their whole lives to assume that Australia is utopia?People should live in present time,not the past or in newbie emigraters eyes,the future?Yes the sun does shine stronger in Oz,but people still commit murder,knife eachother,commit rape,incest,animal cruelty,same s*** as you have said!

Originally Posted by seanandmaria

A friend said recently "its the same shit, just a shinier bucket" which is imo a pretty good summary of life in Aus

Originally Posted by camponotus

I think this is COMPLETELY TRUE. England is more crowded/rainier and these factors seem to make it a lot easier to pick-on. Things look, superficially, better in Australia and so when you come here for a visit it's easy to be quite attracted to it. But the reality, the sad reality, is that things are ultimately not really significantly different/better here at all.

I don't think Aus is remotely better than the UK. It still amazes me how people seem to focus on one or two relatively minor (in my view) factors in saying Aus is better - e.g. the fact that they get to be outside more, or go to the beach. Fine I suppose, but is going outside more often THAT VITAL to you? Yes, you can go to the beach, but by virtue of being in Aus you CAN'T go for a beautiful walk in lush, green countryside and visit a lovely country-pub for lunch and a swift half. So, yes you've gained the beach but you've lost the countryside. And let's not forget the significantly increased risk of skin cancer here - is it worth being able to go outside more often (''I love Australia...I have a much more outdoors lifestyle here''....yawn, yawn, yawn) if it means you have to cover yourself and your kids in sun-block every bloody time?

I just can't, and never will, fathom why it's supposedly so wonderful here. For anyone.

Originally Posted by camponotus

I think this is COMPLETELY TRUE. England is more crowded/rainier and these factors seem to make it a lot easier to pick-on. Things look, superficially, better in Australia and so when you come here for a visit it's easy to be quite attracted to it. But the reality, the sad reality, is that things are ultimately not really significantly different/better here at all.

I don't think Aus is remotely better than the UK. It still amazes me how people seem to focus on one or two relatively minor (in my view) factors in saying Aus is better - e.g. the fact that they get to be outside more, or go to the beach. Fine I suppose, but is going outside more often THAT VITAL to you? Yes, you can go to the beach, but by virtue of being in Aus you CAN'T go for a beautiful walk in lush, green countryside and visit a lovely country-pub for lunch and a swift half. So, yes you've gained the beach but you've lost the countryside. And let's not forget the significantly increased risk of skin cancer here - is it worth being able to go outside more often (''I love Australia...I have a much more outdoors lifestyle here''....yawn, yawn, yawn) if it means you have to cover yourself and your kids in sun-block every bloody time?

I just can't, and never will, fathom why it's supposedly so wonderful here. For anyone.

Originally Posted by Merseygirl

Yes the sun does shine stronger in Oz,but people still commit murder,knife eachother,commit rape,incest,animal cruelty,same s*** as you have said!

I could add substance abuse, depression and suicide to the list - just as much as any cold rainy and dark country in northern Europe.

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum

You know what Q? I think you sell yourself too short in this push pull with OH. I reckon if you called his bluff and flew back home he'd eventually follow. I think he sayd he wont because he knows you wont leave him there.