British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   Moving back or to the UK (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/)
-   -   Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/over-40s-moving-back-catching-up-701116/)

fulwood Jun 14th 2015 7:27 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
I agree with you Jasper123 on your latter statements. I don't give a fig for anyone who thinks I'm mad for going back.

Novocastrian Jun 14th 2015 7:55 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by fulwood (Post 11674987)
I agree with you Jasper123 on your latter statements. I don't give a fig for anyone who thinks I'm mad for going back.

Nor do we. We get it twice, once from the UK is going to the dogs crowd and again from the lot who think that France is a hotbed of anti Anglo revolutionary socialists.

Personally I think that anyone who wants to grow old in Canada, Van Island possibly excepted, is stark staring bonkers.

NiHao Jun 14th 2015 8:16 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
FeelBritish,

It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, don't let a bunch of naysayers make you second guess yourself over and over.

My opinion is that the US, Canada, UK, Australia etc. etc. are all wonderful places to live with lots of great things to recommend them. Equally they all have crappy aspects! It isn't a competition about which is the "best" country and which is the "worst" country, the only thing that matters is which one you prefer. You would not have put yourself through the anxiety about moving if you didn't know deep down in your heart that you don't want to grow old and die where you are and you do want to live in the UK again. Just hold onto that and run with it.

Keep your eye on the prize because the next couple of months are going to be tough. Change is super stressful regardless of whether it is good change but you have come this far don't let understandable anxiety, panic and stress derail you.

With regard to the house inspection and whether you will need to be flexible on price there is a lot to be said for the bird in the hand. I can't tell you the number of times I have seen people hold out for a better price only to ultimately end up months/years later accepting considerably less than they had been offered early on. A house is only worth what someone will pay you for it. From what you have said in the past I can imagine your husband getting anxious about the move and using price as a reason to delay (ultimately stop) the move. If you can stay solid and focused (even if your not feeling it!) then it may help him overcome his own anxiety.

Hang in there!

feelbritish Jun 14th 2015 8:42 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
Thank you for your kind words and support. Yes, I know that I do not want to die here and my feeling is that whatever the survey throws at us we adjust the price and take what we can and clear out of here! Having our UK friends with us here this week will take the stress out of it as we will be doing fun things and I will look at it as a "last" explore before we leave! It is OH who is having all these comments at his work, I am at home and rarely see anyone :( so am not getting the negative stuff. If I do I just cut them off quick. I think OH is now resigned to go back and although will not make any decisions or discussions until all conditions removed, he did say that we would probably be better off just moving back to our home in Buckinhamshire which we know well, even down to the furnture placing (although I will have to squeeze in queen beds somehow) and the shops down the road. He needs stability and not to be in limbo. We can then decide later down the line what we want to do in retirement, not even second guess other places until there. He wants me to also go back on the most guaranteed visa, which will be spouse visa as he does not really want me to work but if I want to I can. Watch this space for the mad rush. Now to make a list of what to do!

Fish n Chips 56 Jun 14th 2015 9:32 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by NiHao (Post 11675014)
FeelBritish,

It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, don't let a bunch of naysayers make you second guess yourself over and over.

My opinion is that the US, Canada, UK, Australia etc. etc. are all wonderful places to live with lots of great things to recommend them. Equally they all have crappy aspects! It isn't a competition about which is the "best" country and which is the "worst" country, the only thing that matters is which one you prefer. You would not have put yourself through the anxiety about moving if you didn't know deep down in your heart that you don't want to grow old and die where you are and you do want to live in the UK again. Just hold onto that and run with it.

Keep your eye on the prize because the next couple of months are going to be tough. Change is super stressful regardless of whether it is good change but you have come this far don't let understandable anxiety, panic and stress derail you.

With regard to the house inspection and whether you will need to be flexible on price there is a lot to be said for the bird in the hand. I can't tell you the number of times I have seen people hold out for a better price only to ultimately end up months/years later accepting considerably less than they had been offered early on. A house is only worth what someone will pay you for it. From what you have said in the past I can imagine your husband getting anxious about the move and using price as a reason to delay (ultimately stop) the move. If you can stay solid and focused (even if your not feeling it!) then it may help him overcome his own anxiety.

Hang in there!

Words of wisdom.

BEVS Jun 14th 2015 11:05 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by NiHao (Post 11675014)
FeelBritish,

It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, don't let a bunch of naysayers make you second guess yourself over and over.

My opinion is that the US, Canada, UK, Australia etc. etc. are all wonderful places to live with lots of great things to recommend them. Equally they all have crappy aspects! It isn't a competition about which is the "best" country and which is the "worst" country, the only thing that matters is which one you prefer. You would not have put yourself through the anxiety about moving if you didn't know deep down in your heart that you don't want to grow old and die where you are and you do want to live in the UK again. Just hold onto that and run with it.

Keep your eye on the prize because the next couple of months are going to be tough. !

Karma to you for a wonderful post.

feelbritish Jun 15th 2015 5:49 am

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by Fish n Chips 56 (Post 11675045)
Words of wisdom.

:amen:

jasper123 Jun 15th 2015 10:31 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by NiHao (Post 11675014)
FeelBritish,

It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, don't let a bunch of naysayers make you second guess yourself over and over.

My opinion is that the US, Canada, UK, Australia etc. etc. are all wonderful places to live with lots of great things to recommend them. Equally they all have crappy aspects! It isn't a competition about which is the "best" country and which is the "worst" country, the only thing that matters is which one you prefer. You would not have put yourself through the anxiety about moving if you didn't know deep down in your heart that you don't want to grow old and die where you are and you do want to live in the UK again. Just hold onto that and run with it.

Keep your eye on the prize because the next couple of months are going to be tough. Change is super stressful regardless of whether it is good change but you have come this far don't let understandable anxiety, panic and stress derail you.

Hang in there!

Nihao
Very good post, and all so very true!!!
:goodpost:

usbrit2015 Jun 15th 2015 11:29 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
I agree with the others, well-said Nihao.

I've come through the hard part with family, now I feel as if I'm coasting for a while. My stuff is sorted out, thrown out, stored, given away, and today I sold my car!!! Yeah! 5 weeks to go. Keep your chin up, fb

feelbritish Jun 16th 2015 12:03 am

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
I have today donated 2 large black bags of clothes that no longer fit me nor will they ever fit me! I have been hanging onto them so that I can one day get slim enough to wear them. No chance once I hit 55 it all changed! Now I am sorting out drawers in the spare room and throwing away what I can't use and what I want to keep I am putting into a huge suitcase which is going to be packed with our furniture as it is stuff I want but do not need right now! With our friends arriving on Wed it has been a good incentive to start the clearance big time! It certainly feels good doing all this clearing out! Helps me also stay focused and calm while we await the sale to complete

jasper123 Jun 17th 2015 9:04 am

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by feelbritish (Post 11676064)
I have today donated 2 large black bags of clothes that no longer fit me nor will they ever fit me! I have been hanging onto them so that I can one day get slim enough to wear them. No chance once I hit 55 it all changed! Now I am sorting out drawers in the spare room and throwing away what I can't use and what I want to keep I am putting into a huge suitcase which is going to be packed with our furniture as it is stuff I want but do not need right now! With our friends arriving on Wed it has been a good incentive to start the clearance big time! It certainly feels good doing all this clearing out! Helps me also stay focused and calm while we await the sale to complete

All this really brings back memories for me when I was going through all that, as Im sure it will for many on here,
Yes getting rid of all the clutter that has been piling up over the years really does feel sooooo good, makes you feel more free somehow :thumbsup:

jasper123 Jun 17th 2015 2:17 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
DID YOU KNOW THAT LLOYDS BANK INVENTED THE ATM MACHINE, AND THEY
INSTALLED THE WORLDS FIRST AFTER HOURS ATM CASH MACHINE IN 1972.

usbrit2015 Jun 17th 2015 4:33 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
Jasper, Well, well, who'da thunk it. Jolly old England (the name LLoyd is Welsh however--so was Lloyds bank an English bank opened by a Welshman, any idea?).

There are still a few things that I simply 'can't' throw away. Thankfully my daughter will have room to store a few boxes for me....eventually someone will have to decide what to do with it though.

FB - keep going, keep going. 4 weeks to go for me...

Novocastrian Jun 18th 2015 2:43 am

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by usbrit2015 (Post 11677683)

FB - keep going, keep going. 4 weeks to go for me...

Just over two for us. :homy:

We've got rid of a lot of stuff on kijiji and in two garage sales (as they're called here), the most recent on Saturday last. The good news is that "decluttering" has raised more than enough dosh to pay for our flights to Europe AND the shipping costs for the things we're taking along.

usbrit2015 Jun 18th 2015 3:37 am

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
Good for you, Novo...but what in the world is kijiji !!!


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