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-   -   Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/over-40s-moving-back-catching-up-701116/)

Bud the Wiser May 20th 2015 12:36 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
3 Attachment(s)

Originally Posted by cheers (Post 11650644)
We are going on our first cruise. DW went on a trip to Hawaii about 60 years ago but that was on a scheduled ship so not really a cruise.
I find the idea of a cruise strange from a financial point. You pay the fare then a couple of hundred for taxes and port fees, then they charge over a hundred for tips, then if you want to visit some of the restaurants they charge for that. Then there is a charge for insurance and the list goes on and on. Fortunately my wife is paying but I don't like to see her gouged.
We are going on the "inside passage" which includes Juneau, Ketchican, Skagway and Victoria (been there many times).
This maybe our one only cruise.
Cheers

We did this cruise a few years back. Wonderful wilderness. Here's a few pics from that trip. Have to disagree with you about the cost though. We've always found cruising to be very good value for money.

lf1 May 20th 2015 7:53 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by between two worlds (Post 11650694)
Interesting, cheers. Yes, I think this paving over the front gardens has indeed added to the loss of birds. And it's a shame visually too….

The winner from the Great Garden Design Challenge won the opportunity to create a garden for the Chelsea Flower Show. He has created a front garden as his exhibit. I hope it will encourage people to include plants and drainage when parking in the front garden. His garden will not be eligible to win any of the usual awards, but I felt so proud of him to hold his own against some of the 'designers' and to receive recognition and a visit from the royal family. He is a lovely chap 'from up North'

Fish n Chips 56 May 21st 2015 3:51 am

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by cheers (Post 11650650)
In todays BBC there is a related item about the decrease in birds and... that they put down to the gardens being paved over so as to provide a place for "the car". I think it is a shame. There are many side effects including drainage and heat among other things.

The decline of the British front garden - BBC News

Cheers

The car is partly to blame, but years ago when many homes were built most people didn't have cars, so there was no need for parking space or a driveway, as the amount of cars has increased people have replaced their front garden for parking.

Today I see newer homes where there is plenty of parking space and still people tear up their front and back yards, I think its a true shame, I think some people just follow the latest trends/fads.

If I bought a home with a paved back yard it would be dug up and replaced with greenery, lawn flowers bushes etc.

Celticspirit May 21st 2015 4:35 am

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
It's absolutely dreadful to see. Belfast is exactly the same unless one has a garage.

Perth May 21st 2015 1:39 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by Fish n Chips 56 (Post 11652003)
If I bought a home with a paved back yard it would be dug up and replaced with greenery, lawn flowers bushes etc.

:goodpost:

Fish n Chips 56 May 24th 2015 5:45 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
Everyday I look at the Lake District pics Via the Lakelandcam website and wish I lived there, I went to the Lake District a few years ago and oh what a place, Its like stepping back in time, I just love it...

My Thanks to Cheers for posting that link many years ago...

usbrit2015 May 24th 2015 8:47 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
These posts are just about what I want to hear...here's what I posted on the Welcome Inn thread...any replies would be appreciated...

I'm 70, and wish I didn't keep getting these urges to go back 'home'. Sometimes they're stronger than others, and right now, I'm really ready to do it again.

I have everything set in my mind, and I can get a very reasonable room to rent wherever I decide to go in the end. However, I will have less than 10,000 GBP annual income, and that worries me a bit. I may be entitled to some benefits, but I don't think that much really, at least not too substantial, that is.

Ah, I'm just throwing this out there to see if anyone has any comments or suggestions. I know there'll be pros and cons, if I get any replies, but I'm trying to look at the upside of it all. I have some family there, mostly cousins that I've recently discovered again...it was nice....visited them last year.

I have a grown family here in the US, but at my age, I'm looking to do something exciting and yet not feel too terrible at leaving them here. Oh dear, what am I doing, haha. If I don't get it out of my system, I'll always regret I didn't do it. Hey, if it doesn't work out for some reason, I can always come back to the US. But really, I just want to go 'HOME'.

trottytrue May 24th 2015 9:23 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
usbrit2015..So you are on your own have family in the US and distant relatives in the UK...Have you been back in recent years.....things have changed. What about a UK pension, did you work in the UK you can always call and ask them or calculate what you would get.....are you a British Citizen...I think the new rule is you have to have a certain amount of money before they will let you in....
As you say you dont have a great deal of money and many who have gone back on a shoestring have not been happy the money or lack of it was a problem. Would you think of going for a few months and see how you feel....

trottytrue May 24th 2015 9:40 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
Cheers....I think its very sad about the whole issue with wildlife and greenbelt areas....

I think while we should worry about global warming what good is worrying about that when everything else will be gone...We need to take care of the small problems first and educate children about protecting habitats for wildlife and what happens when we reduce the amount of places for birds etc to live, parents dont seem to be doing a good job, instead of sex education in school which seems useless start educating them on all aspects of life around them and how important it is.
People dont seem to care they rip out lovely garden stick in concrete or paving stones. My friend did that and ended up with water in the house because it sloped towards the house. Run off from these areas is also bad and is an added cause of flooding.....when will people learn....or what will it take to make them wake up...Seems to me many cant be bothered. More interested in the holdiday abroad or watching stupid TV Shows...
I think it was a trend for a while to have no grass just put paving stones in and little stones dotted around with grasses. I think we need a new gardening program to ram it home to people....So many animals are in decline....Too many cats roaming without bells around the neck...It needs to become a law...I thought it but I must be mistaken....

between two worlds May 24th 2015 10:20 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
usbrit2015….like so many of us on here, I know all about those urges to go back home.

Not sure if you mean you will have 10,000 before or after the rent. But even if you mean after, you are right to be concerned, unless you have ample savings as well.

If you do have savings, then that is a different thing.

I think trotty's advice to go back for a few months and see what it is like--if you haven't been going regularly or gone recently--is excellent.

You say "really ready to do it again"---do you mean ready again to think about doing it?
Or ready to do to it again--you have gone back home on previous occasions, but not stayed?

One important thing you say is that you will regret it if you don't give it a go.
Yes; if you can't let go of the idea and make peace with staying in the USA, you would always be wondering "what if."
This realisation is what prompts many people to return. They don't want to still be regretting not doing it years down the line or at the end of their lives.

Keep us posted! The thread is here for exactly this kind of dilemma.

usbrit2015 May 25th 2015 4:23 am

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by between two worlds (Post 11655451)
usbrit2015….like so many of us on here, I know all about those urges to go back home.

Not sure if you mean you will have 10,000 before or after the rent. But even if you mean after, you are right to be concerned, unless you have ample savings as well.

If you do have savings, then that is a different thing.

I think trotty's advice to go back for a few months and see what it is like--if you haven't been going regularly or gone recently--is excellent.

You say "really ready to do it again"---do you mean ready again to think about doing it?
Or ready to do to it again--you have gone back home on previous occasions, but not stayed?

One important thing you say is that you will regret it if you don't give it a go.
Yes; if you can't let go of the idea and make peace with staying in the USA, you would always be wondering "what if."
This realisation is what prompts many people to return. They don't want to still be regretting not doing it years down the line or at the end of their lives.

Keep us posted! The thread is here for exactly this kind of dilemma.

Hello Between and Trotty, many thanks for your comments.


As I said, I will have a little less then 10,000 GBPs, in fact, about 8,500 GBPs--before rent. I've searched Spareroom.co.uk and found I can rent a room for 75 to 90 pounds a week, which is approx. 300 - 400 pounds a month, there'd be no other expense for heating, etc., and they come with internet as well. I will still have a small amount in bills to pay in the US, obligations, so I'm wondering if I can live decently on the rest---should be 275 - 325 pounds a month. I don't eat a lot at my age, and I know I'd have to do without having my car at hand, but even that is a saving in itself. I'm used to the buses though and it doesn't bother me too much to go that route.


Yes, I've tried living back in the UK on two occasions, once for about six months and the other for about 3 months, and I was there for a visit this time last year. Used the buses and trains a lot...got my Senior Rail pass...which worked out great. I'd be eligible for a bus pass, too, right!


I want to see what the pros and cons are about living there again, this time under different circumstances from my first two tries.


The first time was back in my old town, which had become SO rundown and a bit scary as far as the attitude of the younger generation. While there, a bunch of young males kicked in every single gate on the street, one by one. Then when another bunch was throwing rocks at the back walls of the houses as they walked along the entry-ways, I was stupid enough to ask them to stop, to which they replied with rocks through the windows. I'd had enough by then, and was extremely discouraged.


The second time, I'd moved back with my mom, who wanted to go back to England, well, we both did really, but she became ill, although we didn't know she was ill and it was causing personal problems, and in the end, we both thought is best to come back to the US. In hindsight, I do wish we had stayed.


I know all of England isn't like that really...it's different...I know, but at my age, I'd be living in an area that I choose, and it will be with people a little more my age.


Trotty, I have already thought about getting a ticket with a return date on it...for the reasons you suggest (many thanks, by the way).


Anyway, I need to apply for all the benefits I can so that I can judge where I stand, so six months should do that.


I was born in England, in St. Helens, and I worked there for about 5 years before I left for the US. I get a very small pension from the UK. I have two US pensions that make up the difference. I know I won't starve, or have enough for expenses, but would like to know all the other benefits I may, or may not, get, and that is impossible without actually living there. AgeUK is such a helpful website, but there's nowhere to find out exactly what I'd be entitled to, if anything, unless I establish my residency there again.


I've jumped around with my response here, but hope you'll understand.


I have two grown children, a 22 year old granddaughter, and I've been divorced for....a long time! They've gone through my yoyo effect in the past, so they know where I'm coming from. They've probably had enough by now, but their lives are still ahead of them. I'd love them to be able to visit me in England, or me travel back to the US. We've always lived so far away from each other anyway, that I might as well be in England. Except recently I moved closer to where they live, hoping to get to see them more often, but it doesn't always work out that way and this longing to be 'home' doesn't go away. One of my grown children lives hours and hours away in another state, and so I hardly ever get to see him either. It's a dilemma, but I like change and I need to find where I'd be happiest....is that selfish ? (not really asking, it's just perhaps how I feel, haha)


I know it sounds like I've made my mind up, but what in the world do I do if I decide to come back...where in the world would I live, or would I be able to afford to get a car again....aagh! If I keep thinking of the what-if's, I wouldn't do anything at all, so I may just have to do it and take care of such things when, or if, ever the time comes. Wow, I went on and on, didn't I?


Thanks again for your comments Between and Trotty

islandwoman120 May 25th 2015 11:01 am

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
This is in response to the posts by usbrit2015. As most other posters on this thread know, I moved back to the UK from the US almost 5 years ago. I found a country I barely recognised, poor manners being one of the main shocks to my system. The UK is now part of Europe and many of our laws are imposed from the EU, so the 'England of old' is no more, for better or worse. I settled in the Westcountry, in a small town 12 miles south of Exeter, on the mainline rail routes to Paddington and Waterloo, and in the other direction, down to Penzance in Cornwall, with excellent local bus service as well as National Express connections (Exeter is the main hub for National Express locally, but the bus to Rugby comes through daily). Crime is minimal, age is apparent, boredom exists. Unless you are content with the beautiful scenery, and small town atmosphere, in which case it is lovely. We have a level town centre, with hills on either side, so mobility can be an issue unless you choose carefully. If you are considering a place to live that is apparently crime free you could do worse than here, in Dawlish or the environs. If anyone is concerned about crime, have a look at the stats for the area of your choice - I just did that for 3 other Devon locations, and ended up staying put as a result. Here is a link to look at: Police crime map, figures and stats in the UK
As far as rents go, this is a more expensive area due to the tourist trade - it cashes in on the natural beauty of the area. Once you are here, you could get your name on the Sheltered Housing list - that enables you to get a decent place to live and the rents can be paid by Housing Benefit if you qualify. You will have to provide for your own rent for about 6 months before this can happen - residency is an issue - so make sure you have adequate savings when you come home. The first year or two are nerve racking, but then you will get into the swing of things and it won't feel so strange - after a while you will be completely settled. Or maybe not if you are a yo yoer! I still make comparisons with the US, and sometimes that comes out on top, sometimes not. ;)

usbrit2015 May 25th 2015 12:40 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
Thanks Islandwoman. You words are very sensible. In the end, are you glad you made the move?
As far as savings go, I've never really had the chance to save. The way I look at it, even in the US, I live on my pensions from month to month and never really have anything substantial left over, so what would be the difference where I'm living when it's month to month anyway? I'm probably rationalizing somewhat. Whatever money I've ever had left over, it's been spent on car repairs, Christmas presents, small trips, things I need, and yes, at times, a short trip to England.
Funny you should mention the Westcountry, I've been looking at Budleigh Salterton, it's a bit northeast (?) of Exeter and near the areas you mention. I've had some lovely replies to my ads on Spareroom.co.uk, but none yet from Budleigh Salterton. I thought I'd like to live close to some nice scenery and the water, especially after a lovely visit to my cousin in Lladndudno last year...it was beautiful. Beside that, I've lived in Florida for the past twenty some odd years. Now in Connecticut where it's been SO cold, but the most beautiful snow you could have, but then you have to stay inside and heating is expensive. These things happen to us no matter where we live...always pros and cons.
My biggest concern is not having a backup system in place. If I get sick, no matter how young or old a person is, how would I handle that, for instance. Here in the US, even though my family has been so scattered, if anything serious happened, at least they'd have the means to get to me. As you know, this country is vast, and I was on my own in Florida, my daughter and granddaughter in Connecticut, and my son in Arkansas. But it's a big trip to England and all the stuff that goes with it if they had to come to me under those circumstances. My family, wherever they all are in England, are also scattered and I don't really know them well enough anyway. That is, except for my two cousins that I located and visited last year, one is a few years older and the other a few years younger...they were great as well as their wives. One lives in Wales and the other in Dorset. (Am I talking myself out of this...hopefully just weighing up those pros and cons.) Anyway, as you said, Exeter is a good hub and would give me access to transportation: trains; buses; and hopefully a few coach trips for the day out. Hmmm
It's not easy to leave the comfort zone, is it, especially at my age, but if we don't 'just do it', we'd simply get through each day, and just keep wondering.
Thanks for the link to the police crime map, I've saved it to my favorites. Excuse the American spelling. Took me a while to get used to it, now it's normal. Still can't get the hang of not using double 'L' in words though. It's usually a conscious effort to remember, even after all this time. Could be I just don't want to give it up really.
I'll definitely give all this more thought, I'd hate to think it's just a passing thing...I don't think so, though. Thanks again, islandwoman, very much. :)

islandwoman120 May 25th 2015 1:35 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Originally Posted by usbrit2015 (Post 11655875)
Thanks Islandwoman. You words are very sensible. In the end, are you glad you made the move?
As far as savings go, I've never really had the chance to save. The way I look at it, even in the US, I live on my pensions from month to month and never really have anything substantial left over, so what would be the difference where I'm living when it's month to month anyway? I'm probably rationalizing somewhat. Whatever money I've ever had left over, it's been spent on car repairs, Christmas presents, small trips, things I need, and yes, at times, a short trip to England.
Funny you should mention the Westcountry, I've been looking at Budleigh Salterton, it's a bit northeast (?) of Exeter and near the areas you mention. I've had some lovely replies to my ads on Spareroom.co.uk, but none yet from Budleigh Salterton. I thought I'd like to live close to some nice scenery and the water, especially after a lovely visit to my cousin in Lladndudno last year...it was beautiful. Beside that, I've lived in Florida for the past twenty some odd years. Now in Connecticut where it's been SO cold, but the most beautiful snow you could have, but then you have to stay inside and heating is expensive. These things happen to us no matter where we live...always pros and cons.
My biggest concern is not having a backup system in place. If I get sick, no matter how young or old a person is, how would I handle that, for instance. Here in the US, even though my family has been so scattered, if anything serious happened, at least they'd have the means to get to me. As you know, this country is vast, and I was on my own in Florida, my daughter and granddaughter in Connecticut, and my son in Arkansas. But it's a big trip to England and all the stuff that goes with it if they had to come to me under those circumstances. My family, wherever they all are in England, are also scattered and I don't really know them well enough anyway. That is, except for my two cousins that I located and visited last year, one is a few years older and the other a few years younger...they were great as well as their wives. One lives in Wales and the other in Dorset. (Am I talking myself out of this...hopefully just weighing up those pros and cons.) Anyway, as you said, Exeter is a good hub and would give me access to transportation: trains; buses; and hopefully a few coach trips for the day out. Hmmm
It's not easy to leave the comfort zone, is it, especially at my age, but if we don't 'just do it', we'd simply get through each day, and just keep wondering.
Thanks for the link to the police crime map, I've saved it to my favorites. Excuse the American spelling. Took me a while to get used to it, now it's normal. Still can't get the hang of not using double 'L' in words though. It's usually a conscious effort to remember, even after all this time. Could be I just don't want to give it up really.
I'll definitely give all this more thought, I'd hate to think it's just a passing thing...I don't think so, though. Thanks again, islandwoman, very much. :)

It's never a 'passing thing', really. The homesickness eats away at you, bit by bit, week by week. I took 5 years to leave the US - sold as much stuff as I was able to, gave away the rest to friends and family. That helped me have a backup - money behind you is always a comfort. I was very stressed, very worried once I got here - lived in a manky bedsit on a main road for 3 months, then found a better bedsit in a nearby area, then after 18 months moved down to Devon. I have regretted it at times, as it can be lonely. No matter how many people I know, that darn British reticence gets in the way. People tend to meet in cafes rather than in each others homes, which I find very odd. I did organise a local branch of the U3A (University of the Third Age) and it is going strong, but I never took part in any of the activities as I was worn down by all the bylaws and rules and politics that go on behind the scenes. So I stepped down as Chair last September and got on with renovating a tiny cottage in which I live. So loneliness is always an issue, especially on weekends. I understand what you mean about getting older and being on your own, hence my suggestion that you look into Sheltered Housing as an option - at least for a while, because that provides you with a set of neighbours of the same age and possibly similar interests. If it does not work, you will have given yourself enough time to be in a settled situation to get your legalities sorted out, and then you can move on. I am investigating Co-housing for myself, as that provides a guaranteed group of like minded people. It is big in the US and Europe, but only beginning in England - though some groups in Scotland have existed for many years. If you asked the man/woman in the street about it, you would get a blank stare, but read the UK Cohousing website and learn a bit for yourself to get a better picture: Welcome to the UK Cohousing Network

There are a few groups currently in formation specifically aimed at the over 50s, which talk about the issues you mention, and will be set up with a carer or two already on site if the need arises, plus grab rails and ramps in lace from the beginning. Not all places for the over 50s have these considerations in place, nor are they all on one level. Just a thought.

usbrit2015 May 25th 2015 3:45 pm

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 
Yes, I will be able to sell my car, and perhaps try to sell off bits and pieces. I don't have much furniture anymore since my move from Florida to Connecticut. I have my airfare and a little extra to boot, probably need it for the first couple of weeks while I find a room to rent.
I'm a bit of a solitary person, though I love a good laugh and enjoy wine on occasion...would love a drink out with someone, etc. So being alone is not scary to me, though as I said, not all the time, and I could get by OK with a walk along the beach, or on a nice country lane. I really enjoy using my computer. So not sure the cohousing would work for me. It seems like a wonderful thing for those who do though, and I wish you all the best if that's the way you choose to go...what about your cottage though?
I have a few hurdles to go through before can feel free enough to leave, one needing to bring up the subject again to my daughter and granddaughter when the time comes. Had a real to-do with my ex-husband about it a week or so ago and I was made to feel like the size of a pea. I got the 'How could you.....' speech. Then it got to my daughter before I was ready to talk about it, though she and I had a good talk, and I bawled most of the way through it...you know how these things go. After that I thought I should stay here, be here for them, but now things have quieted down, and I'm still left with these feelings to leave...help me Lord!
For the time being, I'm just waiting for a few weeks. I just got my British passport renewed and I'm waiting for my US passport to come back. Once that happens, it's time to do it or slink back into....whatever. Who knows. As you said, the longing to be 'home' just doesn't go away. Thanks Islandwoman.


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