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Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Old Jun 9th 2013, 12:55 am
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by jasper123 View Post
When you coming home windsong? and will it be for good or holiday?
Hi Rodney I will be back before the end of the year. I plan to go back as soon as I possibly can but I am giving myself until the end of the year as a goal - and it will be for good.

It's probably wiser to go on a holiday first but I already know I don't want to remain here any more and I do miss the UK terribly. Of course, I have been in the USA so long, I will never forget some of it. The other night I was dreaming and in the dream I remembered some scenes of my life from the UK and some from the USA - back to back. It was really confusing because the scenes were seamless and it felt as if all the scenes happened in the same country, yet they were thousands of miles apart and so were the people. In the dream, I had difficulty remembering if a particular scene of the dream took place in the UK or the USA. Really odd!

Last edited by windsong; Jun 9th 2013 at 12:59 am.
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 1:35 am
  #7592  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by jasper123 View Post
WOW what a lovely post, it really is lovely how you describe the wonderful and beautiful places you have been to and the things you have seen, and the way you describe the hospitality of the people, I envy you having a job like that, I would have loved to travel around the USA as you have, and going to those out of the way places way off the tourist routes, how amazing your life must have been,
Yes your right, the U.S. is a beautiful country in so many ways, and many different kinds of beauty and splendor from state to state,
So your coming home, are you retiring in the U.K.? it reminds me of the film pretty woman ---- when the hotel manager says to Richard Gere ---- it must be very difficult to let something so beautiful go,
I think all expats who have returned home from America would agree that it wasn't easy to let such beauty go,
I for one have no regrets in coming home, and Ive said that there isn't a thing that I miss about the U.S.
but that isn't exactly true really, ----- really to be honest one cant paint that statement with such a big brush, in the whole picture there will obviously be many things that we all miss, especially if one has lived there for decades like many of us, ----- if we were to be honest with ourselves, and that goes for me too, the memories will last forever, and I wouldn't have changed a thing, I cant and wont knock America, I had a good life there for a long time, and Ive met some truly remarkable people there, Im just against the policies of government there now, and the in your face corporate greed,
but then we suddenly enter a new chapter in our lives when we get older, and for some of us the UK calls us back again,
I could almost say "I love you" for your honesty and compassion since I joined this forum Rodney. You appreciate all that life has given/thrown at you. you are a stellar example of what we should appreciate from all life's experiences.
I hope newer members go back and read your history. Take care.....
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 1:42 am
  #7593  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by windsong View Post
Hi Rodney I will be back before the end of the year. I plan to go back as soon as I possibly can but I am giving myself until the end of the year as a goal - and it will be for good.

It's probably wiser to go on a holiday first but I already know I don't want to remain here any more and I do miss the UK terribly. Of course, I have been in the USA so long, I will never forget some of it. The other night I was dreaming and in the dream I remembered some scenes of my life from the UK and some from the USA - back to back. It was really confusing because the scenes were seamless and it felt as if all the scenes happened in the same country, yet they were thousands of miles apart and so were the people. In the dream, I had difficulty remembering if a particular scene of the dream took place in the UK or the USA. Really odd!
Windsong, how long is it since your last visit to the UK?
As you know I am heading back for the third time in 40 years. Have been back at least 20 times in that time period. For me.....it's do or die....I like that....no second thoughts again. The veterinarian who picks up the dogs in Belfast....when I called him and said "Hello, I am calling from Dallas".....he said. "Is that you....." Third time....he recognized me.......I said I promise you this time is forever!!!! He has had me + seven of my dogs over 30 years.
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 9:31 am
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by lf1 View Post
I finally made a Rhubarb Crumble. It was quite nice and OH really liked it, but we both agreed that it was a bit sweet. I like your idea of adding the oats. Also, the recipe I used called for sugar to to be sprinkled over the rhubarb. I think I might omit that next time as I like the tartness of the rhubarb vs the sweetness of the topping.
Glad it worked out. Yes, we too cut out the sugar on the fruit.
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 9:47 am
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by trottytrue View Post
J.JsOH..When we where going home we had Norfolk on our list my friends relatives live their she said its very beautiful. The hedgerows sound beautiful I bought a book on how to bring back hedgerows I was determined when I came home to plant one as they had been ripped out over the years very detrimental to both animal life and the fields. Anyone interested here is a list of plants you need.You can make them as big or as small as you want:


Field Maple
Guelder Rose
Wayfaring Tree
Dog Rose
Common Hawthorn
Blackthorn.

If your interested in reading about the hedgerows the book is called "Hedges Creating Screens and edges" by Averil Bedrich.....Its a very good book, when people are so concerned about the enviroment they need to consider the smaller picture. Ripping out gardens and slapping down concrete paving stones is not the way to go.

I read these books by Elly Griffiths they are murder mysteries and take place around the Norfolk Coast.
Yes, in many places the hedges around fields have gone or severely cut back by machine - but in many other places, where farmers are more concerned for the environment there are some lovely areas, old byways, managed woods, and some farmers are leaving field edges to grow naturally for benefit of insects and animals.

The practice of graveling and slabbing over gardens continues. Caring for a garden is not so much on many peoples interest list nowadays - lawns covered over with stones to avoid the effort to mow looks terrible in my view. Odd because people will have the most exotic of kitchens and furniture and games rooms and such indoors yet not bother at all with the outside. We enjoy that we have wild birds finding natural food and feeding their young on our lawn and in the flower and veg beds.

We haven't read Elly Griffiths, online I see our library does have copies so will order one.

Last edited by J.JsOH; Jun 9th 2013 at 9:50 am.
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 10:26 am
  #7596  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by J.JsOH View Post
Yes, in many places the hedges around fields have gone or severely cut back by machine - but in many other places, where farmers are more concerned for the environment there are some lovely areas, old byways, managed woods, and some farmers are leaving field edges to grow naturally for benefit of insects and animals.

The practice of graveling and slabbing over gardens continues. Caring for a garden is not so much on many peoples interest list nowadays - lawns covered over with stones to avoid the effort to mow looks terrible in my view. Odd because people will have the most exotic of kitchens and furniture and games rooms and such indoors yet not bother at all with the outside. We enjoy that we have wild birds finding natural food and feeding their young on our lawn and in the flower and veg beds.

We haven't read Elly Griffiths, online I see our library does have copies so will order one.
I think the grubbing up of hedgerows was very common around 20 - 25 years ago, but it has since stopped in most cases, and round near where I lived it was very common to see them being replanted, even hedges that had been removed. Local councils in many areas will provide the saplings for free, and in many cases the farmers use 'community service' people to do the replanting, so a new hedge for no outlay. At the rear of my house in the UK in the early 80'swas an old pasture, divided into 5 by incomplete hedges which allowed the cattle to move all over the field. It was sold, and the new owners grubbed all the hedges up to grow arable crops. The next spring, before the crops had come up, the field was covered with hundreds of snowdrops thaat had been growing underneath the hedges. I approached the farmer and got his permission to collect the snowdrops, I filled 3 buckets, and was able to fill my garden and provide loads for friends. A few years later the farmer was leaving a 4' strip round all his fields for wildlife, and not using weed killer as there were always hundreds of poppies in flower in the fields, how things change.
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 11:30 am
  #7597  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by J.JsOH View Post
Yes, in many places the hedges around fields have gone or severely cut back by machine - but in many other places, where farmers are more concerned for the environment there are some lovely areas, old byways, managed woods, and some farmers are leaving field edges to grow naturally for benefit of insects and animals.

The practice of graveling and slabbing over gardens continues. Caring for a garden is not so much on many peoples interest list nowadays - lawns covered over with stones to avoid the effort to mow looks terrible in my view. Odd because people will have the most exotic of kitchens and furniture and games rooms and such indoors yet not bother at all with the outside. We enjoy that we have wild birds finding natural food and feeding their young on our lawn and in the flower and veg beds.

We haven't read Elly Griffiths, online I see our library does have copies so will order one.
I love the natural life, too, and we will have lots of flowers and roses and bird feeders. I also plan to get a couple of tortoises. I hope hedgehogs and rabbits will come and visit, too.

I love expansive gardens but I think we will just have a medium-sized garden this time because we are getting older and we want to travel quite a bit in our spare time. However, I could never be without a garden (which includes a nice lawn).

Last edited by windsong; Jun 9th 2013 at 11:33 am.
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 11:34 am
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by Celticspirit View Post
Windsong, how long is it since your last visit to the UK?
As you know I am heading back for the third time in 40 years. Have been back at least 20 times in that time period. For me.....it's do or die....I like that....no second thoughts again. The veterinarian who picks up the dogs in Belfast....when I called him and said "Hello, I am calling from Dallas".....he said. "Is that you....." Third time....he recognized me.......I said I promise you this time is forever!!!! He has had me + seven of my dogs over 30 years.
Hi Celticspirit!

It's been 23 years since I was in the UK. I am not worried at all, though. I know it is bound to have changed but, while there is change in some things, many things never change.

Sounds as if you have made a decision to make moves to return. That's wonderful!! Do you have a timeframe in mind?
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 11:37 am
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by mikelincs View Post
I think the grubbing up of hedgerows was very common around 20 - 25 years ago, but it has since stopped in most cases, and round near where I lived it was very common to see them being replanted, even hedges that had been removed. Local councils in many areas will provide the saplings for free, and in many cases the farmers use 'community service' people to do the replanting, so a new hedge for no outlay. At the rear of my house in the UK in the early 80'swas an old pasture, divided into 5 by incomplete hedges which allowed the cattle to move all over the field. It was sold, and the new owners grubbed all the hedges up to grow arable crops. The next spring, before the crops had come up, the field was covered with hundreds of snowdrops thaat had been growing underneath the hedges. I approached the farmer and got his permission to collect the snowdrops, I filled 3 buckets, and was able to fill my garden and provide loads for friends. A few years later the farmer was leaving a 4' strip round all his fields for wildlife, and not using weed killer as there were always hundreds of poppies in flower in the fields, how things change.

I am SO glad they are being replanted. The hedgehog population has really diminished over the years because of the lack of hedgerows. Aside from the hedgehogs, what would Britain be without its marvellous hedges!
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 11:44 am
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by jasper123 View Post
WOW what a lovely post, it really is lovely how you describe the wonderful and beautiful places you have been to and the things you have seen, and the way you describe the hospitality of the people, I envy you having a job like that, I would have loved to travel around the USA as you have, and going to those out of the way places way off the tourist routes, how amazing your life must have been,
Yes your right, the U.S. is a beautiful country in so many ways, and many different kinds of beauty and splendor from state to state,
So your coming home, are you retiring in the U.K.? it reminds me of the film pretty woman ---- when the hotel manager says to Richard Gere ---- it must be very difficult to let something so beautiful go,
I think all expats who have returned home from America would agree that it wasn't easy to let such beauty go,
I for one have no regrets in coming home, and Ive said that there isn't a thing that I miss about the U.S.
but that isn't exactly true really, ----- really to be honest one cant paint that statement with such a big brush, in the whole picture there will obviously be many things that we all miss, especially if one has lived there for decades like many of us, ----- if we were to be honest with ourselves, and that goes for me too, the memories will last forever, and I wouldn't have changed a thing, I cant and wont knock America, I had a good life there for a long time, and Ive met some truly remarkable people there, Im just against the policies of government there now, and the in your face corporate greed,
but then we suddenly enter a new chapter in our lives when we get older, and for some of us the UK calls us back again,
Rodney, this is so true. As excited and thrilled as I am to be going home (finally!) I can never escape the memories of times in the USA. I am experiencing this even now.

The other night I had a dream that was mixed with scenes and people from the USA and the UK all in the very same dream. The scenes were woven together as if they all took place in the same area, but as I gradually woke up I was able to realize that some scenes were from the USA and some from the UK. It was the strangest feeling, as if my life was split. After all, how could the people who were dear to me throughout my life be so far apart?

There is not much here these days that I am sorry to leave behind. It is some of the memories, such as in that dream, that are tugging at my heartstrings. However, they are memories and belong in the past. Nevertheless, the dream was such that I could go and visit Target department store and Marks and Spencer in the very same town - such a weird dream!

There are some things I can't wait to leave behind, though.

I feel so lucky that I have a terrific old friend and sweetheart from years ago to help me through this adjustment. It's really going to help me because he has changed very little throughout the years, although we are both much older now. I am already getting acclimatized to the UK again because we talk about all things British on Skype for at least two hours every day lol! In talking to him, I have realized just how stressed and frantic I am over here. In the beginning, I couldn't believe how relaxed he was and then I realized it is the general pace of life that is different and it is something to which I am longing to return.

The biggest thing I will miss is the familiarity I feel here. I don't like it but it feels familiar because I have been here so long. I think that feeling will disappear as soon as I land on British soil.

Last edited by windsong; Jun 9th 2013 at 11:51 am.
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 11:57 am
  #7601  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by J.JsOH View Post
Yes, in many places the hedges around fields have gone or severely cut back by machine - but in many other places, where farmers are more concerned for the environment there are some lovely areas, old byways, managed woods, and some farmers are leaving field edges to grow naturally for benefit of insects and animals.

The practice of graveling and slabbing over gardens continues. Caring for a garden is not so much on many peoples interest list nowadays - lawns covered over with stones to avoid the effort to mow looks terrible in my view. Odd because people will have the most exotic of kitchens and furniture and games rooms and such indoors yet not bother at all with the outside. We enjoy that we have wild birds finding natural food and feeding their young on our lawn and in the flower and veg beds.

We haven't read Elly Griffiths, online I see our library does have copies so will order one.
In looking at homes for sale over there on Zoopla, I have noticed the lack of beautiful gardens for some homes. They are gravel now or designed with fancy stonework. Others are a mixture of stonework and garden. Those that are all gravel/stonework leave me very, very cold. I could never live without greenery and all the little animals it brings. Most of all, I could never live without its beauty. It is the soul of the UK.

Last edited by windsong; Jun 9th 2013 at 12:00 pm.
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 2:14 pm
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by J.JsOH View Post
Yes, in many places the hedges around fields have gone or severely cut back by machine - but in many other places, where farmers are more concerned for the environment there are some lovely areas, old byways, managed woods, and some farmers are leaving field edges to grow naturally for benefit of insects and animals.

The practice of graveling and slabbing over gardens continues. Caring for a garden is not so much on many peoples interest list nowadays - lawns covered over with stones to avoid the effort to mow looks terrible in my view. Odd because people will have the most exotic of kitchens and furniture and games rooms and such indoors yet not bother at all with the outside. We enjoy that we have wild birds finding natural food and feeding their young on our lawn and in the flower and veg beds.

We haven't read Elly Griffiths, online I see our library does have copies so will order one.
I actually don't think the reason is because people don't want to be bothered with caring for a garden (let's face it - yards in the UK are so small compared to other countries, especially the US). I think one reason is because so many families have two or more cars nowadays. When I lived in the UK (I left 23 years ago) it was very unusual to see 2 car families. Nowadays it is the norm. Most home still only have a one car garage and small driveway, and I believe many people just pave over the yard for the extra parking space (many of my cousins have done this). I agree with you - it looks dreadful. Two of the former homes I lived in have done this (I checked them out on Google earth).
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 2:20 pm
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by windsong View Post
I love the natural life, too, and we will have lots of flowers and roses and bird feeders. I also plan to get a couple of tortoises. I hope hedgehogs and rabbits will come and visit, too.

I love expansive gardens but I think we will just have a medium-sized garden this time because we are getting older and we want to travel quite a bit in our spare time. However, I could never be without a garden (which includes a nice lawn).
I took a couple bricks out the base of our wall and we get a hedgehog visiting from time to time - don't see him much but he leaves poop evidence.

Our garden is not at all a large garden, medium for a estate house, but large enough to give me pottering opportunity yet it doesn't demand a lot of time. I squeeze in some veg (runner beans, tomatoes, courgette, lettuce, garlic) amongst June's flowers. And I have started one of each redcurrant and gooseberry bushes plus a fig bush in a planter. The roses suffered some kind of blight so those had to go. It's constantly changing itself and that makes it a pleasure to work with growing things . Charlie cat is pleased with his catnip plants.
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 2:22 pm
  #7604  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

"The other night I had a dream that was mixed with scenes and people from the USA and the UK all in the very same dream. The scenes were woven together as if they all took place in the same area, but as I gradually woke up I was able to realize that some scenes were from the USA and some from the UK. It was the strangest feeling, as if my life was split. After all, how could the people who were dear to me throughout my life be so far apart?"

Windsong - so beautiful.
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Old Jun 9th 2013, 2:24 pm
  #7605  
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Default Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Originally Posted by Derrygal View Post
I actually don't think the reason is because people don't want to be bothered with caring for a garden (let's face it - yards in the UK are so small compared to other countries, especially the US). I think one reason is because so many families have two or more cars nowadays. When I lived in the UK (I left 23 years ago) it was very unusual to see 2 car families. Nowadays it is the norm. Most home still only have a one car garage and small driveway, and I believe many people just pave over the yard for the extra parking space (many of my cousins have done this). I agree with you - it looks dreadful. Two of the former homes I lived in have done this (I checked them out on Google earth).
A lot of the houses in my street have done that and it causes real problems with water run-off - there's nowhere for the rain to soak through!

I live on a crescent on a slope and my house is at the bottom of the slope. Most of the rainwater that falls on my back neighbour's garden runs straight down and into/through mine. The neighbour across the street from him has a concreted front garden also, so I am getting three houses' worth of rainwater run-off!

On very rainy days the effect of all this sloped hardscaping is that the rain simply runs through the subsoil of my garden and down the side of my house in a river running down my front steps. The council has introduced regulations against concreting front gardens for parking - it has to be gravel now. There were several houses on the street that rushed to hardscape their front garden for parking before the regulation came in.
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