Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Mary Kay I've now read your story--what a difficult situation and dilemma.
I think you've already had good advice from others here--plus practical info like island woman's explanation of benefits and Age Concern, etc. The issue of leaving children and grandchildren is one that tears people in two (well, you've read the thread, you know about that) but in your case it really seems as if your choices are limited... I think trotty's advice about the pros and cons list is excellent. Ditto what she says about not waiting, if you are going to make the move. And about checking into health care in the areas you consider in uk. Tina |
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Hello Mary Kay and Welcome...
I'm truly glad that you have read this thread from the very beginning, its the only way to appreciate the struggles people have been through, its an education in itself... I've read your posts and can see you are in Very Difficult Situation, I cant tell you what to do, but I do think your lifestyle has made quite a large decline, From what you have said I can only see that continuing, so now is the time to move if you are going to do it... I hope you can figure something out soon... I know most of us are concerned with ED's and Anna's situation, we'd love to know how they are doing... Take Care, Fish n Chips |
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
:eek:
Originally Posted by cheers
(Post 10691871)
|
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Boarding school from 3 and a half? Nigeria?
|
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Islandwoman120, thank you for the update. So glad you have a cat and that you are in a better area. You have had a difficult time the last few years I hope you will feel more and more at home and find friends, its always so hard in a new place. Wonderful photos!
Mary Kay, Lovely to "meet" you and I am so sorry that you find yourself in such a difficult situation. I can only imagine how stressful it all is. I need to carefully re-read you posts but from a first reading it sounds like returning to the UK would be your best option. I would do as someone suggested and draw up a list of the pros and cons of staying and the pros and cons of moving to the UK. It just helps to have it clearly laid out. I think you have to be very honest with your adult children, show them your list, explain about your healthcare situation, show them in very specific number terms the way the incoming doesn't keep up with the outgoing. Let them see how a return to the UK would immediately put you back into a free and good health care system. They are most likely going to be resistant to you going (understandably) but if the pros and cons point in the direction of the UK I'm sure they will see that for themselves. At this point what is the communication like between you and them? Will all of this come as a shock to them? Often times when things are overwhelming we are aware of the situation but sort of ignore it until things come to a head so that may be where they are at. I'm guessing that they don't really have a good handle on what your financial situation is or how hard you have found it living where you currently are. I would really emphasis that you are feeling at the end of your rope and so you need them to try to understand how you are feeling and how you are trying to figure out your options. Explain that if you moved to the UK it in no way reflects on your love for them but that you are trying to be practical and that a move like this needs to be done while you are still well enough to do it. One question I have is do you think you would be considering the move even if you finances were better? I mean I know you liked it where you were living by yourself but this move closer to your children has not worked well for you so would you be looking to move anyway? Could you/would you move in with one of your children? Would that be your preferred choice over moving to the UK or do you miss the UK at all? I know its been a long time since you were there. Sorry I'm not sure I'm being a lot of help and its so much for you to try to figure out. Sending hugs! |
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Thank you all for taking the time to reply.
Like some of you have said, I need to make list of the pros and cons - and I need to do this, before I talk to my children. I know already, that they are going to tell me it's the wrong decision ..... I can move in with them etc. etc. I don't want to do that . That's why, I need to sound like I know what I'm talking about. I've always had a valid British Passport but have never worked in the U.K. therefore I do not qualify for a pension if I return (nor do I qualify for one here, as I am not a S.A. Citizen). I've looked at all the U.K. Gov. websites and I'm confused with the benefits thing, so I'm just going to ask some questions: 1. What does £400 plus housing benefit mean ? 2. What is a Housing Association rent and support ? 3. When you talk about pension credits, would the 12 years my husband contributed in Holland be of any value ? 4. I've been told that different areas have different benefits - is that right ? 5. I've also been told that the further North you go, the better the benefits, so, would Scotland be better than England or Wales ? 6. My friend's ex husband returned to Liverpool some years ago, he was allocated a small house at a reasonable rent, by the Council - is that still possible ? You are all lovely people here :starsmile: |
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Originally Posted by Mary Kay
(Post 10693412)
Thank you all for taking the time to reply.
Like some of you have said, I need to make list of the pros and cons - and I need to do this, before I talk to my children. I know already, that they are going to tell me it's the wrong decision ..... I can move in with them etc. etc. I don't want to do that . That's why, I need to sound like I know what I'm talking about. I've always had a valid British Passport but have never worked in the U.K. therefore I do not qualify for a pension if I return (nor do I qualify for one here, as I am not a S.A. Citizen). I've looked at all the U.K. Gov. websites and I'm confused with the benefits thing, so I'm just going to ask some questions: 1. What does £400 plus housing benefit mean ? 2. What is a Housing Association rent and support ? 3. When you talk about pension credits, would the 12 years my husband contributed in Holland be of any value ? 4. I've been told that different areas have different benefits - is that right ? 5. I've also been told that the further North you go, the better the benefits, so, would Scotland be better than England or Wales ? 6. My friend's ex husband returned to Liverpool some years ago, he was allocated a small house at a reasonable rent, by the Council - is that still possible ? You are all lovely people here :starsmile: |
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Originally Posted by Mary Kay
(Post 10693412)
Thank you all for taking the time to reply.
Like some of you have said, I need to make list of the pros and cons - and I need to do this, before I talk to my children. I know already, that they are going to tell me it's the wrong decision ..... I can move in with them etc. etc. I don't want to do that . That's why, I need to sound like I know what I'm talking about. I've always had a valid British Passport but have never worked in the U.K. therefore I do not qualify for a pension if I return (nor do I qualify for one here, as I am not a S.A. Citizen). I've looked at all the U.K. Gov. websites and I'm confused with the benefits thing, so I'm just going to ask some questions: 1. What does £400 plus housing benefit mean ? 2. What is a Housing Association rent and support ? 3. When you talk about pension credits, would the 12 years my husband contributed in Holland be of any value ? 4. I've been told that different areas have different benefits - is that right ? 5. I've also been told that the further North you go, the better the benefits, so, would Scotland be better than England or Wales ? 6. My friend's ex husband returned to Liverpool some years ago, he was allocated a small house at a reasonable rent, by the Council - is that still possible ? You are all lovely people here :starsmile: Yes benefits are now different from each council, but there will not be a lot of variation. Housing association houses and apartments are also means tested, and are allocated depending on need. There is some council accomodation left, a lot is run now by the housing associations, but is also meaans tested, and often you need to show a tie to the area you apply to, most of the council houses were sold off many years ago when Maggie Thatcher decoded to give tnantss the opportunity to buy the houses they were living in at ridiculously low prices. |
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Originally Posted by Mary Kay
(Post 10693412)
Thank you all for taking the time to reply.
Like some of you have said, I need to make list of the pros and cons - and I need to do this, before I talk to my children. I know already, that they are going to tell me it's the wrong decision ..... I can move in with them etc. etc. I don't want to do that . That's why, I need to sound like I know what I'm talking about. I've always had a valid British Passport but have never worked in the U.K. therefore I do not qualify for a pension if I return (nor do I qualify for one here, as I am not a S.A. Citizen). I've looked at all the U.K. Gov. websites and I'm confused with the benefits thing, so I'm just going to ask some questions: 1. What does £400 plus housing benefit mean ? 2. What is a Housing Association rent and support ? 3. When you talk about pension credits, would the 12 years my husband contributed in Holland be of any value ? 4. I've been told that different areas have different benefits - is that right ? 5. I've also been told that the further North you go, the better the benefits, so, would Scotland be better than England or Wales ? 6. My friend's ex husband returned to Liverpool some years ago, he was allocated a small house at a reasonable rent, by the Council - is that still possible ? You are all lovely people here :starsmile: https://www.gov.uk/browse/housing/co...ng-association The support charges are based on the type of dwelling - if the residents need to be monitored for health reasons, there will be a charge for that - emergency pull cords linked to an emergency care line off site. There is also a charge for any paid personnel involved - e.g cleaner, site Manager. In a council run housing situation for residents needing similar care, the charges tend to be lower. I can't write on those as I don't know the terms. When I wrote £400 plus, it was because I don't remember the actual figure - it is a bit over £400. Housing benefits are getting out of hand - in London they are disproportionate to the rest of the country - private landlords are creaming in the money, so councils are capping the amount of benefit that can be given each week/month. Pensions rights in Holland: http://euracs.eu/summaries/summary-the-netherlands/ Lots of reading for you to do.... |
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Mary Kay,
The changes in benefits that started in April 2013, is quite simple now, the amount of total benefits that can or will be paid from now on has been lowered, Single people, £350 PER WEEK, couples with or without children £500 PER WEEK, Single mothers £500 PER WEEK NOTE, its per week ----- not per month!!!! So most people can claim a total of £2,000 per month tax free for life !!!! Hence why so many people in U.K. make a decision to make there life style easy and not work period, they figure why bother when the government looks after them so well, :eek: :eek: :eek: Of course there are people out there who deserve what they get, and have no choice, But there are one hell of a lot of people out there who are not deserving, not just a few, but a lot. |
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Is this really how much they get ???? :ohmy: :ohmy:
|
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Originally Posted by jasper123
(Post 10697889)
Mary Kay,
The changes in benefits that started in April 2013, is quite simple now, the amount of total benefits that can or will be paid from now on has been lowered, Single people, £350 PER WEEK, couples with or without children £500 PER WEEK, Single mothers £500 PER WEEK NOTE, its per week ----- not per month!!!! So most people can claim a total of £2,000 per month tax free for life !!!! Hence why so many people in U.K. make a decision to make there life style easy and not work period, they figure why bother when the government looks after them so well, :eek: :eek: :eek: Of course there are people out there who deserve what they get, and have no choice, But there are one hell of a lot of people out there who are not deserving, not just a few, but a lot. |
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Originally Posted by Irish Guinness
(Post 10698270)
Is this really how much they get ???? :ohmy: :ohmy:
|
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
I'm aged 75 and can't even get any help when I'm unwell. I pay £12 an hour for a cleaner.
|
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Originally Posted by aries
(Post 10698556)
I'm aged 75 and can't even get any help when I'm unwell. I pay £12 an hour for a cleaner.
£12 an hour?? Wow...thats double the minimum wage! Hope they're doing an OUTSTANDING job??? |
All times are GMT. The time now is 4:31 am. |
Powered by vBulletin: ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.