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-   -   Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/over-40s-moving-back-catching-up-701116/)

curleytops Jan 3rd 2013 10:04 am

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 
Sorry to hear about your Mum Rodney and I know she is so glad to have you with her. Please try not to feel guilty about getting help from time to time though as you will need a break now and again too. Just remember you have to look after yourself as well and in turn that will keep you in the best shape to give your Mum the care she needs. Best wishes to you both :starsmile:

dunroving Jan 3rd 2013 4:22 pm

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by jasper123 (Post 10460763)
charleygirl, Im doing the same as you right now, caring for my Mum, she came out of hospital on Christmas Eve after an 8 day stay there, her lungs are getting worse, she could hardly breath, she has been diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension along with a string of other things,
Up until this latest turn for the worse she was doing pretty good for her age,
now not so good im afraid, she couldn't eat for the longest time, but since she has been home she is starting to get her appetite back and she looks a lot better and is starting to put a little weight on gradually, she has got so thin though, anyway Im taking very good care of her, trouble is im afraid to leave her on her own, only to walk down to the high street to get some shopping in, and I try to get back within the hour, and I just dont feel right about getting some respite care for her, even for a day, but Denise we will get together soon and we will get that well deserved day out in London, just not yet thats all!!!!
Take care,
Rodney.

Hey Rodney, just catching up on posts and saw your last two. Your New Years' Eve post was great, you really take the time to know everyone on here and are a valued member of the site, so many positive and informative posts.

I was really sorry to then read this post about your mum. It's really good that you are able to be here for your mum, but make sure you take care of yourself too. You're no use to anyone if you get run down ;), and caring for someone wears you out. I'm sure you will be excused if you take some time out and find someone to keep an eye on your mum, if only for a few hours.

Look after yourself, pal.

lf1 Jan 3rd 2013 7:18 pm

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 
Rodney,

I am so sorry to hear about your mum and I am thinking of you both. I know you will be taking good care of her and I hope you will have some help. Take care.

Perth Jan 4th 2013 12:37 am

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by jasper123 (Post 10460763)
charleygirl, Im doing the same as you right now, caring for my Mum, she came out of hospital on Christmas Eve after an 8 day stay there, her lungs are getting worse, she could hardly breath, she has been diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension along with a string of other things,
Up until this latest turn for the worse she was doing pretty good for her age,
now not so good im afraid, she couldn't eat for the longest time, but since she has been home she is starting to get her appetite back and she looks a lot better and is starting to put a little weight on gradually, she has got so thin though, anyway Im taking very good care of her, trouble is im afraid to leave her on her own, only to walk down to the high street to get some shopping in, and I try to get back within the hour, and I just dont feel right about getting some respite care for her, even for a day, but Denise we will get together soon and we will get that well deserved day out in London, just not yet thats all!!!!
Take care,
Rodney.

Rodney, terrible news about your mom. :( I am sure she is getting the best care from you. How fortunate that you are home to be with her. I wish her the very speediest of recoveries, and all the best for the new year to you both.

Rodney, since we are not returning to London, and are looking for some place new, Portsmouth has, by chance, fallen on our shortlist. It is less expensive than Canterbury, our #1 choice, and also closer to the water. All in all it ticks a few boxes.

I wanted to ask if you were familiar with The King Street Tavern. Apparently they have Irish music sessions there, and as hubby plays a mean concertina, it is a must for him in any relocation. Could you let me know if you have been and if the music is any good? Hubby is a legit player, and quite a purist when it comes to his Irish music :D

http://www.thekingstreettavern.co.uk/page10.htm

trottytrue Jan 4th 2013 2:31 am

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 
Rodney...I remember well before you left the States you talked about your Mum and how she was the main reason for returning to the UK. I am sorry she is not well but you have given her so much in the past two years you have made her really happy. Without you at her side she would not be home. I am so happy you made that move home. No regrets for you. I hope with your care you Mum will soon be better. No matter what, she has you by her side. Thinking of you. Trotty....

jasper123 Jan 4th 2013 11:30 am

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by trottytrue (Post 10463104)
Rodney...I remember well before you left the States you talked about your Mum and how she was the main reason for returning to the UK. I am sorry she is not well but you have given her so much in the past two years you have made her really happy. Without you at her side she would not be home. I am so happy you made that move home. No regrets for you. I hope with your care you Mum will soon be better. No matter what, she has you by her side. Thinking of you. Trotty....

Thanks Avril for your kind thoughts to my Mum and to me, I do hope that me being with her for the last two years has brought her happiness, I know its been wonderful for me,
And the way I look at it is Mum dedicated herself to me and my late Sister upbringing, she was a good Mother, now its my turn to be a good Son and look after her, I will always be here for her, and I think she is starting to realize now that Im not going anywhere and I think that alone is giving her comfort,
How are you now Avril, health wise that is? I mean how are you really, I hope your recovery is steady and that one day you will be totally in good health,
Take good care my friend,
Love Rodney.

jasper123 Jan 4th 2013 11:39 am

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by perthhomeschool (Post 10462988)
Rodney, terrible news about your mom. :( I am sure she is getting the best care from you. How fortunate that you are home to be with her. I wish her the very speediest of recoveries, and all the best for the new year to you both.

Rodney, since we are not returning to London, and are looking for some place new, Portsmouth has, by chance, fallen on our shortlist. It is less expensive than Canterbury, our #1 choice, and also closer to the water. All in all it ticks a few boxes.

I wanted to ask if you were familiar with The King Street Tavern. Apparently they have Irish music sessions there, and as hubby plays a mean concertina, it is a must for him in any relocation. Could you let me know if you have been and if the music is any good? Hubby is a legit player, and quite a purist when it comes to his Irish music :D

http://www.thekingstreettavern.co.uk/page10.htm

Yes it is very wise for anyone returning to UK to put Portsmouth on there list of places to live, its really wonderful here, wherever you are living you are walking distance to most shops, and a 5 or 10 minute bus ride to the big stores, and 15 minute bus ride to the sea, and in the other direction 15 minute bus ride to the lovely countryside, best of both worlds,
As for Pubs sorry I havent been to any of them as Im not much of a social person, I like people but find it hard to socialize with them, my Dad was the same,
I heard on the news yesterday though that in the UK 9 pubs are closing on average every day, and by the year 2050 it will be hard to find a single pub in Great Britain :eek:

Perth Jan 4th 2013 12:34 pm

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by jasper123 (Post 10463602)
Yes it is very wise for anyone returning to UK to put Portsmouth on there list of places to live, its really wonderful here, wherever you are living you are walking distance to most shops, and a 5 or 10 minute bus ride to the big stores, and 15 minute bus ride to the sea, and in the other direction 15 minute bus ride to the lovely countryside, best of both worlds,
As for Pubs sorry I havent been to any of them as Im not much of a social person, I like people but find it hard to socialize with them, my Dad was the same,
I heard on the news yesterday though that in the UK 9 pubs are closing on average every day, and by the year 2050 it will be hard to find a single pub in Great Britain :eek:

Thank you, Rodney. It is very kind of you to take the time to answer when you are so preoccupied with your Mom. I do hope she is feeling a little better today.

Not having a car is a must for us, and Portsmouth certainly ticked that box. After living in Florida for so long, which is a lot like Las Vegas I imagine where you need a car to go just about anywhere, we want to be done with the expense and the bother. We also want to be within a short bus ride to the sea and the countryside. Also found out that Portsmouth is flat, which is good for us as we will be bringing our bikes.

Maybe even more important is the fact that I have a cousin in Southampton. All the rest of the family are around London. (And she's the one I'd rather be closest to anyway).

Yes, Portsmouth is definitely way up there on the short list. When we take a trip over for a recon we will go to my cousin's. We will come by Portsmouth to have a look around, and schedule it around an Irish session night. Perhaps you would allow us to take you out for the evening as a thank you for all the helpful and encouraging posts you have made over the years.:)

J.JsOH Jan 4th 2013 1:01 pm

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by perthhomeschool (Post 10463682)
Thank you, Rodney. It is very kind of you to take the time to answer when you are so preoccupied with your Mom. I do hope she is feeling a little better today.

Not having a car is a must for us, and Portsmouth certainly ticked that box. After living in Florida for so long, which is a lot like Las Vegas I imagine where you need a car to go just about anywhere, we want to be done with the expense and the bother. We also want to be within a short bus ride to the sea and the countryside. Also found out that Portsmouth is flat, which is good for us as we will be bringing our bikes.

Maybe even more important is the fact that I have a cousin in Southampton. All the rest of the family are around London. (And she's the one I'd rather be closest to anyway).

Yes, Portsmouth is definitely way up there on the short list. When we take a trip over for a recon we will go to my cousin's. We will come by Portsmouth to have a look around, and schedule it around an Irish session night. Perhaps you would allow us to take you out for the evening as a thank you for all the helpful and encouraging posts you have made over the years.:)

In my opinion based on a visit this past year, Portsmouth is a good choice to put on your recon trip.

jasper123 Jan 4th 2013 10:44 pm

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by perthhomeschool (Post 10463682)
Thank you, Rodney. It is very kind of you to take the time to answer when you are so preoccupied with your Mom. I do hope she is feeling a little better today.

Not having a car is a must for us, and Portsmouth certainly ticked that box. After living in Florida for so long, which is a lot like Las Vegas I imagine where you need a car to go just about anywhere, we want to be done with the expense and the bother. We also want to be within a short bus ride to the sea and the countryside. Also found out that Portsmouth is flat, which is good for us as we will be bringing our bikes.

Maybe even more important is the fact that I have a cousin in Southampton. All the rest of the family are around London. (And she's the one I'd rather be closest to anyway).

Yes, Portsmouth is definitely way up there on the short list. When we take a trip over for a recon we will go to my cousin's. We will come by Portsmouth to have a look around, and schedule it around an Irish session night. Perhaps you would allow us to take you out for the evening as a thank you for all the helpful and encouraging posts you have made over the years.:)

Perth ------ do you mind telling me your first name, I like to know peoples name when I respond to there post,
Yes I would love to except your invitation to the Irish Pub when you take your next trip over here, thats very kind of you,
Portsmouth to me is great, but then again it may not be everyones cup of tea, its not perfect of course, but where is?
I like everything being so close, you mention you like to bike, well here you can bike anywhere, and as you say yes its very flat, and you will be only 22 miles from your cousin in Southampton :)

And I suppose I like Pompey so much because I was born and raised in this old town, and everything is so familar to me, I only wish our football team was not in so much trouble though :( and just to think just a few years ago we were up there with the best with Harry Rednaps help as our manager, but alas he brought us up and then left us, so sad,

In Vegas I always had a car, difficult to live without one, the distances from a to b are quite long anywhere you go, and even if they were not I would hate to be walking in 112 F. :eek: so ---- the need for a car where the A/C works good :)
And yes the cost of running a car I dont miss at all, I used to pay $100 per month for insurance alone :eek: and all I had was a 6 year old Hyandi Accent, and I havent had an accident or any violations for over 30 years, Vegas though does have a lot of accidents and so its one of the most expensive citys in the country for auto insurance,
Take care,
Rodney,
PS my spell check aint working right now, :eek: :o

UkWinds5353 Jan 4th 2013 10:50 pm

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 
Rodney

I'm sorry to hear about your mom.I know what it's like to care for a parent that is getting older. There were moments when I couldn't help wonder where did the time go, because it seem not that long ago we both, parent and child were young.They were the parent then suddenly it switched and our roles were reverse and I needed to be the care taker. I'm sure you will give your mom all the love that is in you but also remember to love yourself.There were times that I actually neglected myself in order to care for my mom and the end result left me with less ability to be there for her at the very end, in the way that I would have wanted to be.So easy to get burned out when caring for someone year after year without a nice break and even easier not to be aware of that fact because we want to do everything on our own. Just wanted to chime in to let you know that many people on here are thinking about you. You are valued!!

jasper123 Jan 4th 2013 10:58 pm

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by J.JsOH (Post 10463723)
In my opinion based on a visit this past year, Portsmouth is a good choice to put on your recon trip.

Thanks for that John,
when you come out here this year, if you still want to meet up for another drink and maybe Dockyard/ship tour then that would be great, I would love to meet you and June again, your good people, but next time let me choose the Pub ;) we have a very nice Pub right in the high street shopping area called Sir Frances Drake, its part of the weatherspoon empire, beer and ale are very inexpensive, and so are the meals, I checked it out months ago, even had a pint ---- and its only 10 minute walk from my house, ----- if I walk fast :D
Rodney.

jasper123 Jan 4th 2013 11:30 pm

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by UkWinds5353 (Post 10464764)
Rodney

I'm sorry to hear about your mom.I know what it's like to care for a parent that is getting older. There were moments when I couldn't help wonder where did the time go, because it seem not that long ago we both, parent and child were young.They were the parent then suddenly it switched and our roles were reverse and I needed to be the care taker. I'm sure you will give your mom all the love that is in you but also remember to love yourself.There were times that I actually neglected myself in order to care for my mom and the end result left me with less ability to be there for her at the very end, in the way that I would have wanted to be.So easy to get burned out when caring for someone year after year without a nice break and even easier not to be aware of that fact because we want to do everything on our own. Just wanted to chime in to let you know that many people on here are thinking about you. You are valued!!

UKwinds thanks a lot for those kind and thoughtful words, I do hear and appreciate all the wonderful advice you are giving me,
and also all the lovely sentiments and advice from all you other great people on here that have responded, thank you all so much curleytops, dunroving, If1, and Sally and the rest that I have not responded to,

Today my Mum ate all her cereal this morning, and all her lunch, and also I cooked us one of her favourite meals, faggots, mash and brussel sprouts, for dinner and she ate it all, so her appetite is coming back :) thats music to my ears, now if only this darn constant pain in her lungs would go away then she would be able to start being herself again, she takes meds for her condition, but only paracetimal for the pain, and not as often as I would like, she says she does not want to get too used to them, but she takes a couple just before bed time and they do help her,

DON,
Today the phone rang and my Mum answered it and guess who it was, he said to Mum this is Don from Shropshire ---- Rodneys friend, (yes it was our very own Don on this thread) he and his wife have become very good friends of mine over time, ----- so Mum said do you want to talk to Rodney? and he said no I called to talk to you Phyllis and to wish you well and to hope you get better soon, and they chatted for a few minutes,
I was sitting by her side at the time and you should have seen this lovely smile that came over my Mums face, ------ Don you really cheered my Mum up no end, thanks so so so much for your concern and caring words to her,
your the tops!!!!
Rodney.

Celticspirit Jan 5th 2013 12:07 am

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by jasper123 (Post 10464797)
UKwinds thanks a lot for those kind and thoughtful words, I do hear and appreciate all the wonderful advice you are giving me,
and also all the lovely sentiments and advice from all you other great people on here that have responded, thank you all so much curleytops, dunroving, If1, and Sally and the rest that I have not responded to,

Today my Mum ate all her cereal this morning, and all her lunch, and also I cooked us one of her favourite meals, faggots, mash and brussel sprouts, for dinner and she ate it all, so her appetite is coming back :) thats music to my ears, now if only this darn constant pain in her lungs would go away then she would be able to start being herself again, she takes meds for her condition, but only paracetimal for the pain, and not as often as I would like, she says she does not want to get too used to them, but she takes a couple just before bed time and they do help her,

DON,
Today the phone rang and my Mum answered it and guess who it was, he said to Mum this is Don from Shropshire ---- Rodneys friend, (yes it was our very own Don on this thread) he and his wife have become very good friends of mine over time, ----- so Mum said do you want to talk to Rodney? and he said no I called to talk to you Phyllis and to wish you well and to hope you get better soon, and they chatted for a few minutes,
I was sitting by her side at the time and you should have seen this lovely smile that came over my Mums face, ------ Don you really cheered my Mum up no end, thanks so so so much for your concern and caring words to her,
your the tops!!!!
Rodney.

That is priceless!!!! So great to hear you both are such good friends.
Rodney....I do hope your mom is getting her good health back xx

Perth Jan 5th 2013 1:57 am

Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread
 

Originally Posted by jasper123 (Post 10464759)
Perth ------ do you mind telling me your first name, I like to know peoples name when I respond to there post,
Yes I would love to except your invitation to the Irish Pub when you take your next trip over here, thats very kind of you,
Portsmouth to me is great, but then again it may not be everyones cup of tea, its not perfect of course, but where is?
I like everything being so close, you mention you like to bike, well here you can bike anywhere, and as you say yes its very flat, and you will be only 22 miles from your cousin in Southampton :)

And I suppose I like Pompey so much because I was born and raised in this old town, and everything is so familar to me, I only wish our football team was not in so much trouble though :( and just to think just a few years ago we were up there with the best with Harry Rednaps help as our manager, but alas he brought us up and then left us, so sad,

In Vegas I always had a car, difficult to live without one, the distances from a to b are quite long anywhere you go, and even if they were not I would hate to be walking in 112 F. :eek: so ---- the need for a car where the A/C works good :)
And yes the cost of running a car I dont miss at all, I used to pay $100 per month for insurance alone :eek: and all I had was a 6 year old Hyandi Accent, and I havent had an accident or any violations for over 30 years, Vegas though does have a lot of accidents and so its one of the most expensive citys in the country for auto insurance,
Take care,
Rodney,
PS my spell check aint working right now, :eek: :o

Oh so sorry, Rodney, I signed the previous message but not this last one. It's Monique, and USC hubby is Daniel, originally from California. We would be honored to meet with you. I have been looking at what is on offer in Portsmouth and there seems to be so much to do. Besides the Irish music there are also film clubs (right up my alley), bike clubs, book clubs, and on and on. We want to be very active in our retirement, but also have time to enjoy a quiet day by the beach just like you mentioned.

JJ also said Pompey was a good choice as far as what we were looking for, and JJ, we still have Norwich on the shortlist too. I guess we will just have to come by and see for ourselves. I am excited to plan our trip. Our daughter is just turning 21 and she will come with us. Not sure if she will want to come back for good when we do move, so this trip is as much about that as it is about us looking for a place to live.

I'm sure it must be much easier to just go back to where you came from. But for me that would be London, and that is just too expensive. Last time I lived there as a single lady, I had a job but lived with my grandmother. Would never have been able to afford a place of my own on my salary.

Yep, I am looking forward to ditching the car, the insurance, the repairs and upkeep...the whole headache. Won't mind taking the bus, and I absolutely love trains. Of course walking or biking is good too. Plan on being outdoors as much as the weather will allow. We are indoors too much in Florida.

Best regards to you and your Mum. I am so glad she is feeling better :)


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