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Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up

Old Nov 29th 2012, 7:53 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by trottytrue View Post
Hello Everyone I am finally back nice to see you keeping things going Rodney you always were very special and like I said many time we need people like you who have returned to tell us how you really are doing.

I am fine its been a very hard year and I am back to square one again with regards to going home. I read what people said about being part of another country and taking up its celebrations and becoming part of that country. I look back and think that I was never truly steeped in the traditions of this country I celebrated the holidays because I had children and wanted them to feel a part of it. But to me Christmas Boxing Day and New Years Eve have always been my big celebrations.

I have really over the past year taken the time to think about my life and try and understand what it all meant. Most of it was spent taking care of my husband and children. Sad to say for 30 years in the US I dont have one good friend. I have no idea why that happened. I was in my middle thirties when we arrived and never seem to make that special friend. I still have my friends back in the UK they have dwindled over the years but I have those very few dear ones.
I am not sure what I will miss about my life here if I get the chance I will let you know next year.

I do know that from listening to some dear people who have been a part of this forum for many years those who made the easiest transition when going home were those who had family and more important money. Money seems to been the biggest stumbling block for many who have returned. I think for those thinking about going home make sure you have enough in the bank to be able to return to the country you came from especially if you have no one to fall back on in the UK. It can become very lonely sometimes worse than staying were you are. Like Rodney says think carefully about it.

Plus as I have learned with a very painful lesson dont keep putting it off if you are going to take the plunge do it dont wait. Plan well and then go for it. The older you get the harder it gets. When I was younger I didnt have to think about how far would it be to walk but as you get older your knee's give out or your hands are not able to carry bags, all small things but they mean alot.

My friend in the UK just broke her wrist and she said the hardest thing for her is not being able to drive and not being able to get on a bus she is stuck and dependent on others. She lives in a village but with no shops so she is thinking of moving to an area where she will at least have some shops close by and not have to catch a bus.
Trottytrue, how wonderful to see you back!

You say you're back to square one with regards to going home--but surely not, because before getting ill, you cleared out the whole house where you'd been for years, got rid of lots of stuff, and sold it? I think this is a huge and difficult step in the process--both practically and psychologically--and you've done that already.

Interesting that you too are in the camp of those who never felt at home in the US...harder still if you didn't make a friend; I was luckier in that respect.

"Don't keep putting it off"--the older you are the harder everything gets--how true! (Just went on a transatlantic trip and the return journey wiped me out for a week).

Your friend's story illustrates why I'd never want to live somewhere where I'd be dependent on a car or a bus to get to a shop. I want to be in walking distance of a shop or shops, always.

Anyway, I am so glad to see you back and I trust that the upcoming year will be much, much better. Keep us posted about your plans...

Tina
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Old Nov 29th 2012, 8:35 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by UkWinds5353 View Post
Rodney

To be honest when responding to your previous post I was a little leery about discussing whether or not you felt more at home in America than the UK. Didn't want to upset the apple cart and all that, especially not knowing how others might perceive it, me being an American on here posting.But since others have "gone there" , it's obvious that you were very successfull in fully assimilating into the American culture. Not everyone is able to do this as well as you have. Essentially, you are as American as anyone because it became a part of you and ingrained.British born and comfortable living in the UK no doubt, with all the many cultures and traditions,but I think in many ways because you did live so many years in America it suited you well. I've seen this to be true for several Americans that moved to France or Germany and over a number of years they assimilated and in time felt more at home there than back in America.

It's understandle really because you probably had some great times in the States.This might sound funny but have you ever tried to reach out to the American expat community in the area where you live? Might be something worth looking in to in order to strike up a new buddy or two.A neighbor of mine who is from Brighton tells me all the time that he enjoyed much of his time growing up in the Uk but he has been in the States for so long that he feels far more American than British.And he has told me that allthough he misses his parents, he would not feel at home in the UK any more. He loves his life here. Rodney, would you ever consider visiting the States for a holiday? Any in case you gave several people much to think about and that is allways a good thing.

I wonder how would I feel living in the UK after spending just about all my life in the States.There is a natural honeymoon period when everything is new and different but at some point the reality of "living" there begins and being in the right area or the idea city can make the difference between loving the place and maybe assimilating best or just liking the place but not quite feeling at home yet. I think some of this I must think about as my plans move forward.
I think this idea of UK Winds', to look for US expats in one's new home in UK, is a good one for those who miss USA (or wherever) more than they expected.

I know someone in the city where I live now who's French but lived 27 yrs in USA and feels more American now, seeks out US expats, and wants to return there (wasn't her idea to come back). This can happen! So I think what everyone's saying is "know thyself" as much as possible!!

This is serious stuff, far from "chit-chat"! Pity others thinking about all this won't find the discussion easily...

Tina
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Old Nov 29th 2012, 2:26 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by UkWinds5353 View Post
Rodney you really do have a poet's soul. You have been a mainstay of this forum and a major contributor for years.You gave me a lot to mull over. It really does come down to being happy at the end of the day. Rodney I would say you have a lot of living to do. Especially if your lovely mom's age is any indication.So I would multiply that 10 years by 2 or 3 times.
I agree with you on how important it is to appreciate the things that matter. Happiness is the goal most of us is searching for and it has many forms. I could see myself owning and running a very small American style resturant in a coastal town in the UK. That is one dream that bring a smile to my face.I've seen one American doing that very thing in Brighton and doing so successfully. I have a slew of receipes from my mom that are so amazingly good.Everyone loved her food and I would love to bring that southern style food to the UK.Kinda like a dinner bar with drinks and good music. We will see.
Diner food from 'down home' in the genuine home style would sure help from time to time. I enjoy the food program 'Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives' here in UK and feel I would base a vacation in US on a DDD itinerary.

It works both directions. In the US I made my own beer in the early years and later was quite adept at Pork Pies and Haslet.

Now back in UK I need to improve on my home made (southern style) biscuits. I would be pleased somewhat if Fish & Chip shops would provide slaw as an option to peas or even add deep fried pickles to the menu (I have suggested it in my local chippies but no takers so far)

With an American airbase not so far from us there is a nearby restaurant attempting American style but it's nowhere near the mark yet - or maybe it is the disposition of the Brit staff or clients that is the stumbling block.
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Old Nov 29th 2012, 2:31 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by between two worlds View Post
I think this idea of UK Winds', to look for US expats in one's new home in UK, is a good one for those who miss USA (or wherever) more than they expected.

I know someone in the city where I live now who's French but lived 27 yrs in USA and feels more American now, seeks out US expats, and wants to return there (wasn't her idea to come back). This can happen! So I think what everyone's saying is "know thyself" as much as possible!!

This is serious stuff, far from "chit-chat"! Pity others thinking about all this won't find the discussion easily...

Tina
It is clear to me that the people I have become friendly with since I've been back in UK are folks that have lived anywhere abroad or have travelled extensively (but not necessarily everyone that I meet in those categories). Birds of a feather and all that.......

It is pleasant to my ear to hear the occasional American accent (yes Rodney, including you, buddy) as I visit around the UK.

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Old Nov 29th 2012, 2:50 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by dunroving View Post
Hey Rodney:

Yes, you hear that (southern England is different than the North and Wales/Scotland/NI), but we shouldn't generalize, eh?

I know what you mean about feeling like an alien. When I said that the students looked at me as if I just landed in a spaceship, I didn't think about the alien connection, but it fits.

I don't know what your neighbourhood is like, but some areas definitely show the strain of the current economic situation, or years spent on benefits. When I drove one set of US visitors through Possil in Glasgow (it's on my way to/from work), one of them exclaimed "God, everyone looks so ANGRY!!!" She was right, everyone was walking around with a face like thunder. I think if I was on the dole, surrounded by people on heroin and other delightful members of UK society, I don't think I would be too open to small talk, either. All in all, the UK can be a great place to live but some places are downright scary. I'm lucky to live in a nicer area, but God, people around here are so difficult to permeate!! Many of them grew up here and so you are still a newcomer until you have been here at least 10 years.

If my experience since March 2007 is anything to go by, I think you will gradually, imperceptibly settle in and small things in life will make you feel less like ET. It's harder for some returnees just because of their nature or prior experiences, and for others life is easier, we are all different and I think most people on here appreciate the kinds of insights you give about the challenges that come with the rewards.

By the way, I hope you are still keeping track of my post count - remember to give me a reminder when I get close to 8,888 so I can buy that lottery ticket!
Similar, I had an American friend visiting who was shocked when I was cussed at on the footpath in town when I was considered to be blocking the cussers way. Not that I was happy either to be complimented so and to which a replied in kind only to be invited to fight.
I've had disagreeable words aimed at me from well-spoken people too so it is not just the rough un's. I have encountered much more public intolerance here in UK than in my experience in US. No surprise then that the public that are not angry are moving around with eyes cast down so as not to invite trouble.

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Old Nov 29th 2012, 3:22 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by trottytrue View Post
Hello Everyone I am finally back nice to see you keeping things going Rodney you always were very special and like I said many time we need people like you who have returned to tell us how you really are doing.

I am fine its been a very hard year and I am back to square one again with regards to going home. I read what people said about being part of another country and taking up its celebrations and becoming part of that country. I look back and think that I was never truly steeped in the traditions of this country I celebrated the holidays because I had children and wanted them to feel a part of it. But to me Christmas Boxing Day and New Years Eve have always been my big celebrations.

I have really over the past year taken the time to think about my life and try and understand what it all meant. Most of it was spent taking care of my husband and children. Sad to say for 30 years in the US I dont have one good friend. I have no idea why that happened. I was in my middle thirties when we arrived and never seem to make that special friend. I still have my friends back in the UK they have dwindled over the years but I have those very few dear ones.
I am not sure what I will miss about my life here if I get the chance I will let you know next year.

I do know that from listening to some dear people who have been a part of this forum for many years those who made the easiest transition when going home were those who had family and more important money. Money seems to been the biggest stumbling block for many who have returned. I think for those thinking about going home make sure you have enough in the bank to be able to return to the country you came from especially if you have no one to fall back on in the UK. It can become very lonely sometimes worse than staying were you are. Like Rodney says think carefully about it.

Plus as I have learned with a very painful lesson dont keep putting it off if you are going to take the plunge do it dont wait. Plan well and then go for it. The older you get the harder it gets. When I was younger I didnt have to think about how far would it be to walk but as you get older your knee's give out or your hands are not able to carry bags, all small things but they mean alot.

My friend in the UK just broke her wrist and she said the hardest thing for her is not being able to drive and not being able to get on a bus she is stuck and dependent on others. She lives in a village but with no shops so she is thinking of moving to an area where she will at least have some shops close by and not have to catch a bus.
Hello Trotty,you have picked up on some good truths there.

Having planned and saved a pot of money and potential sufficient pension has made our return to UK easier than if we hadn't had financial back-up.

Family would have been nice to come back to but we are not close knit and rather un-ravelled in places.

But we had a couple nice UK friends from before USA and they have introduced us to other new friends and activities that we may not have found by ourselves.

We like access to countryside so chose to live in a suburb where we can take country walks from home (or by bus) yet are not so far by bus from main shopping and hospital and train connection. In case of need we have corner shops, doctor, 3 pubs (one of the three closed, another less traditional pub opened), vet, within a short walk. Down side is we are cheek by jowl on a (relatively nice and low-crime) housing estate. We could easily live without need for a car but it is useful to have from time to time.

So we are quite well situated and glad we made the move sooner rather than later because of later age difficulties.

Yet all has not been well. As others have said it has been difficult to assimilate here and we have seriously considered moving back to USA. However, we moved to UK for valid reasons and they would still exist if we moved back to US.
We don't regret that we moved back to UK.
We do sometimes miss our life in US, it seems so much harder and stressful in UK on a day to day basis, maybe because we expected it to be a comfortable fit to us and it hasn't proven so. Maybe it will get easier with time.

We feel we will vacation in USA in the next few years, to see the things we didn't visit when we lived there. It's a bit scary because what if we get there and are so happy that we want to stay? Funny really, because that was my wife's (J.J/June) sentiment when we were fresh in USA and talked about visiting UK.
In the meantime we are visiting around Europe and UK to get a balanced view.

Similar to some other posters, I feel like an alien here in UK, or rather, I feel that I am amongst aliens, but less so lately.
I have learned to resist the urge to pick up litter (most of the time).
I have learned not to look at other pedestrians when in the shopping streets and thereby just move amongst without recognition of their existence. Yet I look and nod and even stop and chat to other walkers in the countryside (although the young often don't acknowledge us elders)
Older people chat at bus stops but younger ignore me while they twiddle their lives away on their phones.
I've learned to share raised eyebrow expression / smile with other bus passengers when someone on their cell phone loudly shares their life with the whole bus population.
I discovered there are so many adverts before a cinema movie that the plus side is being able to eat a super-size bucket of (expensive but American nostalgic) popcorn before the movie proper starts.
People engage in chat more with a man standing alone at a bar with a pint and not so much so with a couple - not our experience in the US where couples would engage with others.
I see that publicity over litigation awards and lottery wins seem to make the remainder feel left out and in a minority.
It appears that a large portion of the UK population is obsessed with housing property, from TV shows to home extension, it is everywhere and constant. Food and eating too seems to have become much more of an obsession.

Best Regards Trotty for your future plans,
John

Last edited by J.JsOH; Nov 29th 2012 at 4:50 pm.
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Old Nov 29th 2012, 10:44 pm
  #5317  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by J.JsOH View Post
Similar, I had an American friend visiting who was shocked when I was cussed at on the footpath in town when I was considered to be blocking the cussers way. Not that I was happy either to be complimented so and to which a replied in kind only to be invited to fight.
I've had disagreeable words aimed at me from well-spoken people too so it is not just the rough un's. I have encountered much more public intolerance here in UK than in my experience in US. No surprise then that the public that are not angry are moving around with eyes cast down so as not to invite trouble.
Hello John & June,
Me thinks that when we see so many people looking down as there walking over here is in part what you say ----- they dont feel comfortable making any kind of eye contact with the people in the street, but what I think is the #1 reason is that they have to watch there every step unless they dont mind stepping in a pile of dog ---- s--t thats why I tend to have got into the habit of looking down as I walk down the street anywhere over here and I must say I never had that problem in Vegas
Take care,
Rodney.
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Old Nov 29th 2012, 10:48 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Welcome back trotty/avril, so nice to see you on here again, nice post,
now dont be a stranger glad to know your feeling better,
Take care,
Rodney.
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Old Nov 30th 2012, 4:23 am
  #5319  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

J.JsOH. That was another really good post. So much truth in what you say. I have often said that we who have been away from home for many years will never really be comfortable in one country or the other. Which ever place we decide to live we leave family and memories behind in the other many like me will leave children behind and grandchildren. When am in the UK i get the remark about where am I from. There is that twang that we dont hear but they do. When here in the US i get the same thing. What a lovely accent you have what part of England are you from.

I like the US and think it has some beautiful areas. There are many things I would miss. Even some foods and weather.

I am no longer sure about England I still want to come home and will but it wont be the England I left. I know that. My family does alot of moaning about the state of the country and how they want it changed but they are content to sit back and do nothing about it. I am not sure they can do anything.

Here are just a few of the rants I have had from them over the last week.

My half sister is annoyed and rightly that she at 92 has to beg for help from the council to get things done even though they constantly send her letters telling her they will help her but when she gets in touch with them they find out she has her own house and they tell her she is not eligible her home by the way is a council house she and her late husband bought years ago. But she says the women down the road who has a kid a year gets everything thrown at her neither she or her partner work.

Another friend is angry because the town were she lives wants to build on part of the green belt area on the outskirts of town. Not just a few houses but 500. The town says it cannot support so many houses and people but it doesnt matter the higher ups are going ahead anyway.

My good friend slipped and broke her wrist she went to A & E on a weekend she had to wait hours and then it turns out the set it wrong so after 6 weeks she has to have a new cast and thn 2 weeks from now they are going to decide if they will have to re-break it. Even in the US weekend is not a good time to get sick.

The town we live in here in the US has doggie rules so when you take your dog for a walk you cannot leave behind their poo poo's. We have little green bags we buy and you scoop it up. Recycling is manditory and all garden waste has to be taken to the dump. Last weekend we did many trips with leaves. The town came down the road and did the Winter tree trimming making sure no branches are able to fall on the electric wires. We have pavements and I can walk to the library. I have met some really nice people at the cancer clinic and they have art clases which we can enroll in which last 8 weeks at a time. The ladies and gents in these classes are the bravest and nicest people I have met in a long time.

Sad to say during my illness I learned that friends can be much kinder that family I am still trying to come to terms with that one. But it did make it easier on choosng a place to live I can now go anywhere I want although I am limited by good hospitals.

I have thought about how many years I have left and is it worth it coming home but then that feeling deep down inside returns and I remember how I feel when I am home how comfortable I feel. Perhaps I will end up one of those moaners.

Rodney..I will try and pop in as much as I can and let you know how things are going. Hows your Mum.

Between two worlds...... Yes we are in a diferent place now things are much better the house is sold and the furniture is just waiting for shipment. We pay $100 per month to keep it in storage. It might be $200 I shall have to check plus the price for shipment has gone up in the last year. They have not told us how much yet. The dog is once again on track to get her passport. Her rabies shot ran out so we had to have that re-done. My husband will be filling in the visa application after Christmas. I have to get all my files out and refressh myself and all we have to do. We are going to keep are insurance in the US going for 6 months just in case. Not closing all the doors.

I do have a friend that lived in are old Town well two really you all know Charlie well I also have another well she and I have more in common now because we have both lived in the US and we do connect through that. She does miss it and the weather.

As for now being part of the US or feeling connected to it perhaps thats now quite true, I think when the children were younger I felt much more a part of it I got out alot more and was very happy for many years. It was just I always had that little itch that I never quite felt really as if I belonged. My children are fine they are all what I call 'Yanks" we laugh about it but there is a little part of them that I see it comes out now and again that little English part of them. I know they are proud that they have that heritage.
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Old Nov 30th 2012, 4:52 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by J.JsOH View Post
Diner food from 'down home' in the genuine home style would sure help from time to time. I enjoy the food program 'Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives' here in UK and feel I would base a vacation in US on a DDD itinerary.

It works both directions. In the US I made my own beer in the early years and later was quite adept at Pork Pies and Haslet.

Now back in UK I need to improve on my home made (southern style) biscuits. I would be pleased somewhat if Fish & Chip shops would provide slaw as an option to peas or even add deep fried pickles to the menu (I have suggested it in my local chippies but no takers so far)

With an American airbase not so far from us there is a nearby restaurant attempting American style but it's nowhere near the mark yet - or maybe it is the disposition of the Brit staff or clients that is the stumbling block.
Josh, I'm am very serious about bringing a southern style resturant to the UK. I think the food would go over well especially if the setting is equally appealing as the food.I know you lived in North Carolina so I'm sure you've had several opportunities to experience the food. I want to set up a small place with atmosphere.Did you ever get the chance to eat at a resturant called K&W Cafeteria? Depending on the location the food was fresh,well prepared and reasonably priced and very very good.

I wonder if Brits could enjoy the taste of dishes like Black Eye Peas,Lima Beans,Southern style Home Made Macaroni & Cheese,Home made Meat Loaf,Turkey Legs,Deep Dish Lasagna,Southern Friend Chicken,Cheese layered Broccoli,Home Made Potato Salad, Candied Yams and for dessert Banana Pudding, Strawberry Shortcake or Bread Pudding. These are very tasty foods and quite filling.

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Old Nov 30th 2012, 9:41 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

I would be pleased somewhat if Fish & Chip shops would provide slaw as an option to peas or even add deep fried pickles to the menu
Wash your mouth out with soap and water!!

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Old Nov 30th 2012, 9:44 am
  #5322  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by J.JsOH View Post
Similar, I had an American friend visiting who was shocked when I was cussed at on the footpath in town when I was considered to be blocking the cussers way. Not that I was happy either to be complimented so and to which a replied in kind only to be invited to fight.
I've had disagreeable words aimed at me from well-spoken people too so it is not just the rough un's. I have encountered much more public intolerance here in UK than in my experience in US. No surprise then that the public that are not angry are moving around with eyes cast down so as not to invite trouble.
I have to say you have really opened my eyes when it comes to Norfolk. I had thought it would be a lovely place to live, but it sounds just awful. We've been back 8 months now and have still to hear an angry word from a stranger. People smile when they pass you on a footpath and on the rare occasion that the person doesn't smile, I'm always surprised. As for drivers - so courteous!
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Old Nov 30th 2012, 10:07 am
  #5323  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by UkWinds5353 View Post
Josh, I'm am very serious about bringing a southern style resturant to the UK. I think the food would go over well especially if the setting is equally appealing as the food.I know you lived in North Carolina so I'm sure you've had several opportunities to experience the food. I want to set up a small place with atmosphere.Did you ever get the chance to eat at a resturant called K&W Cafeteria? Depending on the location the food was fresh,well prepared and reasonably priced and very very good.

I wonder if Brits could enjoy the taste of dishes like Black Eye Peas,Lima Beans,Southern style Home Made Macaroni & Cheese,Home made Meat Loaf,Turkey Legs,Deep Dish Lasagna,Southern Friend Chicken,Cheese layered Broccoli,Home Made Potato Salad, Candied Yams and for dessert Banana Pudding, Strawberry Shortcake or Bread Pudding. These are very tasty foods and quite filling.
Hi UKWinds,
yes, we had K&W in Raleigh. But then we had independent BBQ joints too and Bojangles and Mexican of course and I tried to visit all.

To me all the foods you list sound good but I'm not so sure of their acceptance to the Brit in the street. Many Brits are closed minded to anything new and non traditional. You would have to choose the right demographic area to have popular demand customer base.
Having said that, here in Lynn there are noodle shops and Thai restaurants alongside chippies and fried chicken and Indian and the ever present greasy spoon restaurants.
Lol, I asked a locally born taxi driver which was the best Indian in town and he replied he doesn't eat that foreign muck, he sticks with Chinese.

Eclectic street food is becoming popular in UK I read. As a small adventure test market have you considered trying a limited US menu from a van that you park up in the same place at set times? Here is one link I found just from a quick search http://britishstreetfood.co.uk/
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Old Nov 30th 2012, 10:23 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by J.JsOH View Post
Hi UKWinds,

Lol, I asked a locally born taxi driver which was the best Indian in town and he replied he doesn't eat that foreign muck, he sticks with Chinese.


this made my day!
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Old Nov 30th 2012, 10:49 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's Chit-Chat & Daily Catch-Up Thread

Originally Posted by sallysimmons View Post
I have to say you have really opened my eyes when it comes to Norfolk. I had thought it would be a lovely place to live, but it sounds just awful. We've been back 8 months now and have still to hear an angry word from a stranger. People smile when they pass you on a footpath and on the rare occasion that the person doesn't smile, I'm always surprised. As for drivers - so courteous!
As someone else said, I think Rodney, the geographic distance between good and bad areas is small. So I live in a nice area and if I head in most every direction I find pleasant people. Lynn was designated a overflow town for London in the 60's and while the cream moved to the coast the less well off moved into estates around Lynn. There is a rougher element of Lynn natives too. All these people blend like oil and water in the town centre. I find most times that people working in shops and businesses are pleasant, kind, even enthusiastic but the general impression on the street is visibility of the rougher side while the nicer is going quietly about their activities.

Most times I go to Lynn and have no problems but I am heavily averse to the bad minority and their potential. Maybe my military background contributes to that. If I see no threat then I am quite happy and comfortable around town.
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